I Become the Baby Tiger in a Beast Taming World-Chapter 36: Side Quest--A Visit to the Hiccuping Hermit
HICCOUGH!
The loud hiccup rattles the shuttered windows and the blue-painted door. Other than the place being locked up tighter than my old professor’s exams, this really doesn’t look much like a hermit’s place. Smoke curls from a chimney. Brightly colored fantasy flowers dot the walkway, looking like an impressionist painting. There aren’t any "GO AWAY" signs. A teakettle whistles inside. The walkway is clean and smooth under my paws. And I can’t taste or smell any foulness in the air. Except my fur stands on end, as if from electricity.
"Are you SURE this is the place?" Kaline asks, eyeing the cozy wooden cottage dubiously.
Vedette rubs her eyes in disbelief. "The wagging tongues in town make it sound like it’s a hovel with nasty smells and junk everywhere. Just goes to show that you can’t always believe gossip."
[My Mistress is wise.] Demos trots ahead of me, while Gussie rides on Vedette’s shoulder. [She knows that gossip isn’t always reliable.] 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢
[Except about Lady Lammermoor.] Gussie sounds cheerful about Lady Lammermoor becoming persona non grata. [Well deserved gossip, I’d say.]
I snort in agreement. [Let’s hope this quest doesn’t take too much time. we still need to meet Hans at the sausage and pepper stand.]
[Let the humans worry about clocks and time and all that nonsense.] Gussie is nonchalant. [I’m curious about this Hiccuping Hermit person.]
Vedette knocks on the door. Several seconds tick by. Then, a shuffling sound and a triple beat. THUMP THUMP THUMP. Drawing closer. Right at the door.
CREAK.
The door swings open, and a little man with Albert Einstein hair sprouting all over his head and barely covering his enormous ears peeks out. Clad in a light blue jerkin and magenta pants with pointy-toed blue and magenta shoes, he’s easily the most interesting dresser I’ve seen. He has an almond-sized wart on his nose and big purple eyes. He barely comes up to Kaline’s shoulders, and he cranes his neck to look up.
"Well, well, just in time," he says in a nasally voice. "I just baked some crumpets. (HIC) Come in, Young Misses, come in. (HIC) Please."
"Thank you kindly," Vedette and Kaline chorus.
"HIC! Oh dear," Gussie squawks.
The Hiccuping Hermit gives her the stinkeye. "I hiccup. So what?"
Gussie fluffs her feathers. "Sorry."
"Eh, it’s fine. Don’t get much company." The Hiccuping Hermit turns and beckons us to follow him inside.
It all sounds promising. Smells promising too. Now I can smell those crumpets. MMMM! They smell rich and fresh and hot.
Kaline and Vedette enter first, with Demos and I following.
Inside, the cottage is just as tidy and welcoming as the outside. A cheery fire crackles in the stone fireplace. Drying herbs and plants hang on the walls. The downstairs has an open floor plan, with the kitchen, living room, and a worktable all sharing the same space. The living room furniture looks like a little kid’s playroom, with tiny chairs and a wooden coffee table. The kitchen is full of good things, with crumpets sitting on a counter, steam rising from them. Beside it, a glass jar of red jam glistens like one big ruby. Ooops! Water boils over from a teakettle.
Vedette rushes to pull the teakettle off the stove. "Here you are, Mr., ah, Hiccuping Hermit."
Kaline adds, "We can get out the tea things."
"Oh, so helpful. Just like your parents." The hermit’s violet eyes twinkle. "But then, I never have problems with the children in this village. Unlike their parents."
He shows Kaline the china hutch where a china tea service is proudly displayed. Kaline helps him put the tea service on the coffee table while Vedette pours the tea. Gussie flutters around the crumpets, trying to pick up the tray.
I roar. [No, Gussie, you’ll spill!]
The Hiccuping Hermit grabs the tray just in time and takes it to the table, while Kaline carries the jar of jam and a big spreading knife. Between us, we get to the table without incident, and all sit down. Our pitiful eyes soften Kaline and Vedette, who offer us crumpets thickly spread with berry jam. Mmmm! The crumpet melts in my mouth, even if the jam is a little sticky.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" the hermit asks.
Vedette moans softly, washing her crumpet down with hot tea. "Well, Mr. Hiccuping Hermit--"
"Pshaw. The name is Niall Widdershins. But you call me Niall." Niall is brimming with excitement. "’Widdershins’ is a bit of a mouthful."
"I think it’s marvelous," Kaline declares. "You’re marvelous. And we hope you can help us. This isn’t purely a social call."
Coughing up crumpet crumbs, Vedette wipes her mouth with a napkin. "But we’re enjoying ourselves, of course."
Niall doesn’t seem offended. "Of course you need a curse broken. I hear things. In fact, I was going to call on your parents today after what went on at the Beast Ball."
Demos curls up on the woven rug beside me. [Of course he heard.]
"Beast Ball was bad," Gussie adds, with a beady-eyed stare.
Niall snorts. "It was nigh on thirty years ago that I first had dealings with Lady Lammermoor and her FIRST husband. I remember I had to go to them at her fancy estate. She couldn’t come to me. She thought some rival had cursed her, stealing her husband’s heart. I remember looking up at her, all dressed in silver, and thinking that she looked as cold as silver. And she wasn’t cursed. Not that she believed me. And she blamed me when her first husband died..."
Kaline’s eyes pop, and Vedette drops the piece of crumpet she’s holding.
"WHAT???" Kaline is agog.
"You are JOKING." Vedette recovers, and glares at Demos, who has snapped up her fallen crumpet morsel. "We never heard this."
"And quite rightly, too. ’Taint the sort of talk for young children," Niall says, dipping his crumpet in his teacup. "But I reckon both of you are old enough to hear now."
"She was married before?" Vedette shakes her head. "How did he die?"
"Tell us!" Kaline is mainly interested in one thing about that story. "Does Hans...I mean, the Young Master know?"
"Maybe from the servants," Niall says, wiping crumbs from his lips. "Although word is that they worship and spoil the lad and wrap him up in velvet. I doubt they’d have told him. And as to how her first husband died, well, no one knows for sure. Some say it was a wagon accident. Others say it was a duel. Still others say, since he was higher status, that he merely faked his own death and disappeared, remarrying in the High Elf Realm. It’s quite a journey from here, you know, and they don’t much like visitors."
"That’s awful," Kaline says with feeling. "That she lost her husband. No wonder she’s so bitter. This was way before Young Master was born, yes?"
"Oh, no. Lady Lammermoor was pregnant at the time," Niall informs us with a gleam in his eyes. "She married Lord Lammermoor to have a father for Hans."
Okay, I am fairly certain that this is NOT the sort of talk young ladies should hear. And I am even more certain that I like Hiccuping Hermit Niall. For more than the scones.
Kaline coughs. "In any case, we came because of some gossip after Viscount Rossa tried to kidnap our Blaze. I heard from Hans Lammermoor--"
Vedette interrupts. "What she means is, we heard that Hans Lammermoor said that people were saying that our house is cursed, and that’s why we have all these thefts."
Smoothly, Kaline jumps in. "Right. We heard the gossip after we got home. And it makes so much sense that our house might be cursed. But how horrible! I could barely sleep a wink all night."
Niall inhales the steam from his cup and gazes into the curling vapors, trying to scry the secrets of the universe, or at least of any potential hexes on the Riddlehoevens.
"Calming, isn’t it?" he says in an airy way.
"The tea?" Kaline looks lost. "Ah. I suppose so."
The vapors do make me mellow. I’m lapping up some of Kaline’s cooling tea, because she doesn’t care. I think it’s orange pekoe or whatever the equivalent tea is here. Definitely more than a hint of citrus here.
[Magic Herbal Tea: Temporary Magic Boost to Blaze and Kaline.]
"Very calming," Vedette agrees. "So calming."
"I’m calm, what about the curse?" Gussie queries.
Niall inhales his tea for a few seconds longer before setting it down. "Hm, I was hoping we could finish our crumpets first..."
"I’ve had two and they’re really rich," Vedette says, rubbing her stomach.
"Me, too," Kaline agrees. "But we can talk longer."
Alert and in tune, Niall stands up. "You’re right. I mustn’t eat too many crumpets, and it also is not so good for your beasts."
Are you kidding? It’s great for us! Gussie, Demos, and I all make plaintive noises.
But, much to our dismay, the crumpet tray and tea are whisked away, and soon we are gathered around the worktable. The treasure trove of curse-breaking artifacts makes up somewhat for not getting another crumpet.
Niall holds up a pendulum made of tiger’s eye. "This is my curse detection crystal. Kindly place at least one of your beasts close by. How it works is that it spins clockwise for yes, counterclockwise for no, and back and forth in the middle for maybe or uncertain."
I guess I should volunteer, since I was the one that got kidnapped. I leap up from one of the stools around the table and pad over close to the pendulum. Demos growls his approval.
[Do be careful.] Gussie sounds nervous.
"Brave Blaze," Kaline gushes.
Niall chants, "May this pendulum reveal only what is in our highest and best good and the highest form of truth. I ask: Is the Riddlehoeven family cursed?"
We hold our breath. The pendulum starts to spin...
