I May Be a Virtual Youtuber, but I Still Go to Work-Chapter 91

─ — Parallel (VTuber) Gallery ─ ─ —

[Why Saying It’s Like a Whiff is Fine]

Well, since I can’t just cuss out the coach for making a team like this, lol.

[Comments]

— Parallel834: LMAO, exactly.

— Parallel095: This is correct, lol.

— Parallel781: This dude's got brains, let's recruit him as a mod?

ㄴ Parallel223 (OP): Dduwoo... Ddaaah...

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─ — Parallel (VTuber) Gallery ─ ─ —

[We're Fucked]

(looks-fucked.clip)

I totally get how Magia must be feeling.

Like, how the hell are you supposed to win this?

Youngun, you absolute bastard.

[Comments]

— Parallel761: Watched it like a hundred times, the cursing is just chef’s kiss, lol.

— Parallel834: Honestly, I’d have lost my mind too, lmao.

ㄴ Parallel225: Just lost my breath.

— Parallel101: Honestly, this one’s on the Yeomisae, no way around it.

ㄴ Parallel005: You think that’s gonna fix itself in a week? Lmao.

ㄴ Parallel901: Had fun being on a team with Oshi? Now roll in the mud, dog.

— Parallel652: Wow, but this is bad for both Youngun and Serena.

ㄴ Parallel304: At this point, isn’t this just intelligent sabotage?

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A few minutes before the entire gallery was flooded with posts blaming Youngun for the newly formed team.

Before Magia’s recruitment was even confirmed.

Youngun, watching the auction stream, had the exact same thought.

“We’re fucked. What do we do?”

— What do you mean “what do we do,” LMAO.

— Bro, you made it like this.

— Did this dumbass already forget?

— Jesus Christ, Yeomisae trash, lol.

— Youngun, just never do an auction again. If you do, you might actually die.

— This guy almost killed his team in the last tournament too, lmao.

To be fair, Youngun had faced a similar crisis in last year’s tournament.

But back then, the pick wasn’t Serena, so his skull hadn’t been entirely cracked open yet.

He barely avoided falling for a bluff and even managed to throw off the opposing team’s bid, making a mess of their composition instead...

But now, with Serena as the Oshi on the line, Youngun couldn’t hold back.

I mean, fandom loyalty isn’t something you can control.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: But bro, seriously, what’s the plan? Looking at the lineup, this is just hopeless, lmfao. ::

"Yeah, no kidding... Our Magia is pretty much locked in as a 3-Tier pick, right?"

— Yep.

— No way another team’s taking her.

— Her gameplay footage is too vague, and she’s only got five days of history.

— No matter how good she is at Battle Colosseum, there’s no telling how bad her RNG will be. No one’s risking it, lol.

— She’s definitely ours.

— GG, no re.

And just like that, the expected outcome played out.

[Alright, with that, Magia will naturally join Youngun’s team as a 3-Tier pick.]

The moment Youngun’s heavy sigh was heard, the chat exploded.

— Absolutely fucked.

— Good luck, bro.

— This team’s gonna get struck by lightning, lol.

— Time to get wrecked.

— Fighting~

— The coach who made this mess better clean it up, lmao.

"Ah... I seriously feel bad for Serena now. I got too caught up in the auction."

— Are you secretly an anti-fan?

— Just admit you hate her, bro.

— Spill it.

"N-no! I actually like her! I wanted to bring her in because I wanted to get her a win. I swear— ah, fuck. AAH!!"

Yanking his hair out wouldn’t change reality.

Kamick (Striker), Serena (Tactician), Magia (Striker), Bajubi (Infiltrator), Crkemang (Defender).

The team lineup was set.

At least, thank god, their roles didn’t overlap.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Bro, you never know, Magia might be an unpolished gem. Train her well, and she could perform at 2-Tier level. ::

"...Oh, really?"

— Wait, have you seriously only played Combat mode and don’t know Flare Gun?

— ?

— You didn’t know?

"Uh, my bad. I don’t really know what she does. I thought she was just some regular VTuber. The footage she submitted was just standard 3-Tier, maybe even below average."

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: Lmao, I thought you were sighing because you’d already analyzed everything and figured it was hopeless. ::

— Dude, you’re seriously sighing because you don’t know anything? LMAO.

— Maybe it’s time to reevaluate the team roster.

— ??

"Wait a sec. Now I actually need to look her up."

As Youngun searched for Magia, he was stunned to find a TriWiki page on her.

She was that well-known?

On top of that, she was a Battle Colosseum Master (True) and had even beaten Movgun in a kill bet.

"Wait. How the hell is she 3-Tier? She’s gotta be at least 2-Tier, right?"

Now that it was clear the so-called "coach" hadn’t even bothered researching his twenty players, the backlash was inevitable.

— Her playstyle just doesn’t fit Combat mode.

— Knew this was gonna happen.

— This dumbass never even considered picking Magia for his team, lol.

— Jesus, and this guy calls himself a coach.

— Just quit, dude.

"Guys, I just wanted to pick a solid lineup this time. That’s how you win championships."

BANG!

:: YOUngunless has donated 100,000 Clouds! ::

:: You dumbass, if that’s the case, why’d you drop 805 points on Serena? Bash your head in. ::

Youngun sheepishly walked over to the wall and flipped upside down.

A moment later, he pulled off a handstand, his face turning bright red.

"I’m sorry. But I really just wanted to win with Serena. I’m sorry."

— LOL

— LMFAO

— Chairman’s words never miss, lmao.

And while Youngun was getting verbally obliterated, Magia was called in for an interview.

[Alright, time to hear from our final recruit, Magia.]

[Hello.]

The moment Youngun heard her soft yet slightly drained voice, his eyes widened.

[So, Magia, this is your first tournament. How do you feel?]

Even on the official auction stream, she didn’t hold back.

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

[Honestly? We’re just fucked.]

[PFFFT— HAHAHA! NG, NG! Hold on, hold on!]

[Bwahaha! ‘We’re fucked,’ ‘It’s all over’— something like that, right? That’s what I’ll take it as, haha.]

Some might’ve called it cute, but Youngun, a certified expert in women’s voices, knew the truth.

That was the voice of a weary office worker who’d seen some shit.

And if that kind of voice was this pleasant to the ear?

Naturally, he abandoned his punishment handstand and slumped into his chair.

Viewers groaned as his face, now beet red, crept closer to the camera.

— Oh fuck, he’s in trouble.

— Is this the same dude who just tanked an auction over a girl?

— Look at that reaction speed, LMAO.

— Another Oshi conversion incoming?

"No, you dumbasses! I’m not switching Oshi! I just like her voice, okay?! But seriously, you assholes— why didn’t you tell me about someone this good sooner?!"

***

At the Same Time, in the Team Chat After Magia’s Interview

As expected, the atmosphere was downright funereal.

This should’ve been the moment where they discussed strategy, rallied together, and hyped each other up.

But aside from Crkemang, no one was talking.

[Oh, Gia’s here!]

"Hello, Uncle. Nice to see you again."

[Man, I’m actually feeling pretty confident! Serena’s solid, Kamik’s got great aim, and we’ve even got my niece on the team? This is a championship roster~!]

Crkemang wasn’t the type to say things without thinking.

If he kept talking, it was only because he was desperately trying to patch up the dying mood.

[...Not really...]

[...I’ll do my best...]

[...................]

But Serena, burdened by the pressure, could barely speak.

Kamik, as always since I’m Wolf, remained completely neutral.

Bazubi, a small-time streamer barely pulling in 50 viewers, didn’t even dare join the conversation.

At this rate, the only person who could step in without worrying about appearances... was Magia.

If the streamers were too busy walking on eggshells, then the non-streamer had to take the lead.

She hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was her place to intervene among professional VTubers.

But the thought of letting this funeral procession of a mood spread to Parallel was more concerning.

"Uncle. Did you see my interview?"

[Huh? Yeah, of course.]

"We’re fucked."

[Wait, that wasn’t just a joke?]

"Nope. We’re actually, completely fucked. Not kidding."

Sure, the blame fell squarely on Yeomisae for assembling this mess of a team.

But since they couldn’t go back and redo the draft, the only option was to make the most of it.

And to do that, the team needed to function.

If they kept acting like strangers, things wouldn’t magically work out.

Luckily, Crkemang took the joke in stride and played along, gradually lightening the mood.

[Kahaha! Well, no use crying over spilled milk. Guess I better start my career as a comedian. What else can we do?]

"I figured you’d say that, Uncle. But let’s not jump straight to comedy just yet. We should at least see what we can do in scrims first."

[Yeah, yeah, you’re right! By the way, you keep calling me Uncle so naturally. I thought you’d be too embarrassed to do it again after that day.]

"I wasn’t embarrassed then either."

[Ehhh, nah. My memory says otherwise. You were blushing like a ripe persimmon, Magia-manager.]

"Oh, don’t pull that nonsense on me."

As the two bantered, Serena finally found an opening to join in.

She didn’t have much connection to Crkemang, but they did share one thing in common: watching Magia turn red.

[Gia... At the year-end party, you were blushing the whole time. People kept recognizing you and asking for your card...]

"Oh, great. Now you too, Serena? Did you guys enjoy cornering me like that?"

[We weren’t cornering you. We were just... protecting you? Maru said if we didn’t, you’d get swarmed and overwhelmed.]

"Right. And then those same people got all excited and started introducing themselves on my behalf. Sure, sure."

Even Kamik, who had been silent the whole time, finally spoke up.

Ever since I’m Wolf, he had wanted to befriend Magia.

But as a shy guy in real life, his fear of social interaction had been holding him back.

At the year-end party, he even had the chance to say hello through Lupko but barely managed a single greeting.

But this was different.

They were on the same team now.

For at least a week, possibly longer if they made playoffs, they’d have to work together.

If he missed this chance, then, as Lupko had said: "Why the hell are you acting like you’re confessing? It’s not that deep, bro."

And so, he took the plunge—by teasing Magia.

[Gia, you weren’t blushing when you were with us, though.]

"That’s because you {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} Mad Dog Crew guys feel like friends. It was easy to relax."

[Friends? Gia, aren’t you, like... a teenager?]

"How the hell would I have a job if I were a teenager—wait, is this a trap question? Look, I work. And I did introduce myself properly at the party, including my age. We’re the same age."

[Just joking. Just joking.]

Serena had it the worst, since she was the most expensive pick.

But Kamik, as a 1-Tier player meant to carry alongside her, wasn’t feeling too great either.

Still, as their conversation naturally revolved around Magia, Kamik couldn’t help but think...

"Huh. Maybe this team isn’t so hopeless after all?"

Tournaments were all about team synergy.

Even squads that looked terrible on paper or struggled in scrims could suddenly shine in actual matches.

Who was to say Yeomisae’s team wouldn’t pull off the same?

Of course, there was Bazubi, the tiny shrimp caught between corporate whales.

Best to leave him alone.

After all, Magia herself was supposed to be in his place, so she knew exactly how he must feel.

His heart must be on the verge of bursting.

Desperately hoping no one calls on him.

Probably the same feeling Magia had when Dohee challenged her.

Just as things started feeling more relaxed—DING.

The very man responsible for this mess, the so-called coach, finally arrived.

[Hello, everyone! Coach Yeomisae here, reporting for duty! Sending my warmest greetings to our wonderful team!!]

The response was colder than a military base in the dead of winter.

Unexpectedly, Bazubi was the one who broke the silence.

[Coach. Thanks. For bringing. Such great teammates.]

If the team atmosphere had been warm, that comment might’ve been seen as genuine.

But considering Bazubi had been dead silent this entire time...

Everyone—including his own viewers—had the same thought.

"Wow. The guy who’s been too scared to speak just hit Yeomisae with the most passive-aggressive backhanded compliment ever."

And sure enough, chaos erupted in Yeomisae’s chat.

— Did Bazubi just subtly roast Yeomisae? LMAO.

— Die.

— Get out.

— Just fucking die.

— This bastard...

— Damn.

— If even Bazubi’s got something to say, that says everything, lol.

— Bro.

— And you call yourself a coach?

— Please, just quit.

— We need a new coach, ASAP.

The chat was so heated you could burn your hands just scrolling through it.

They might be laughing now, but once the actual tournament began, the blame game would start.

"This coach ruined the team before the players even had a chance."

If Yeomisae didn’t want an explosion later, he had to defuse the situation now.

Even if he took responsibility and apologized later, for now, he needed to lighten the mood and protect his players.

[Hahaha. But hey, at least we have three charming ladies on our team! That’s gotta be some motivation, right? Crkemang, Kamik?]

Yeomisae deliberately played the fool.

He called out Crkemang and Kamik because they were the biggest personalities in the group.

If anyone was going to roast him properly, it would be them.

[Oh, yeah, sure. I’m so motivated. Thanks to you, I’m really looking forward to this upcoming hell week. Hahaha!]

[Exactly. As Crkemang said. Truly appreciate it.]

But Crkemang was too good-natured to go all in, and Kamik, as mentioned before, was a shy guy.

Rather than tearing into him, the two just lightly pressed their feet down on the already curled-up Yeomisae.

Serena, being too kindhearted, wasn’t going to say anything either.

Which meant, once again, Magia had to step up.

She couldn’t allow the toxicity of this disaster team to spill over into Parallel.

More than that, Magia had the most experience being the bad guy.

Nowadays, Flare Gun was synonymous with Momo’s worst nightmare, but when she first appeared in Momo’s streams, the backlash had been brutal.

Magia cleared her throat, making sure everyone’s attention was on her, then spoke coldly.

"Coach."

[Ah, yes, Gia! Pleasure to have you aboard!]

"You’re laughing? Get down. Push-up position."

Yeomisae immediately dropped to the floor.

Then, for good measure, he started doing push-ups.

[Arghhh! PT drills, commence! One, for Magia! Two, absolute obedience! One—!!]

— LMAOOOO.

— This dude’s crazy, wtf.

— This is unhinged, lmao.

— The guy who tanked his team for Serena is now doing push-ups 💀.

But that wasn’t enough.

If they really wanted to flip the atmosphere, he needed to be punished until even the chat started feeling bad for him.

"Why are you obeying me? That’s not the point. Repeat after me. One, for Serena. Two, I’m sorry."

[I’M SORRY, SERENA!!]

"Louder."

[I’M SO SORRY, SERENA-NIIM!!!]

"Even louder."

[AAAAARGH!!!]

A proper redemption arc required punishment.

If Yeomisae wanted to be acknowledged as a competent coach, he first had to be humiliated as a useless one.

And so, Magia played the villain to perfection.

After about thirty push-ups, Yeomisae collapsed, unable to move.

"Why’d you stop? Already lost your guilt?"

[...No... I’m... still... sorry... Huff...]

"Wow. The team’s in shambles, and you’re still smiling? Again. One."

[S-Serena...]

— How long is this gonna go on, lmao.

— Is Magia actually mad?

— Ruthless. Ruthless.

Only when Yeomisae’s arms were visibly shaking did Serena finally step in.

[Gia, that’s enough. I think... I think he gets it.]

Magia gave her a nod.

"Serena, now’s your chance. Say everything you’re holding in. Otherwise, this is gonna fester all tournament."

Serena hesitated.

But even she had her limits.

[If we don’t make playoffs, I’m permanently banning your account.]

For Yeomisae, it was the ultimate death sentence.

Even a serial flirt had a true Oshi.

And while Yeomisae might get distracted by pretty voices, his loyalty to Serena was real.

[Serena, do you know why I built this team? I won’t get banned. We’re gonna win.]

***

Yeomisae’s confidence met cold, hard reality after three days.

— Is this real?

— We’re so screwed...

— (Chatbot detected inappropriate language.)

— (This message is from a blocked user.)

— Yeah, this isn’t working, lol.

— What the hell was Yeomisae so confident about? LMAO.

— Just give up already, lol.

— Honestly, does it even matter if we enter the tournament? The results will be the same. Let’s just no-show.

— No hope.

— (Chatbot detected inappropriate language.)

— There’s literally no fixing this.

— GG.

— (This message is from a blocked user.)

— Let’s call it here.

— Yeomisae’s team (The End).

If the chat’s reaction after the third scrim wasn’t proof enough, then nothing was.

His confidence was nothing more than empty bravado.

There were a lot of reasons for the disaster, but to put it simply—

Th𝓮 most uptodate nov𝑒ls are publish𝒆d on ƒreewebηoveℓ.com.

:: An anonymous donor has contributed 1,000 Clouds! ::

:: I’ve seen a lot, but a 0% win rate on day three? That’s a first, lol. ::

The chat was a ticking time bomb.

I had no choice but to discipline our so-called coach once again.

"Coach. What are you doing? Get down."

[AAAAAARGH.]