I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality-Chapter 46 - 36: The Rebellion Tax

The two brothers met and felt like old friends, talking until the sun was high in the sky. It wasn’t until then that Wang Lingyuan remembered he still needed to go to work at the government office.

But compared to recognizing a brother, taking a half-day off work wasn’t a big deal.

As he was leaving, Wang Lingyuan didn’t forget to advise, "A few days ago, an unfamiliar corpse driver came to the patrol office to collect bodies. From what I could tell, he didn’t seem to be from Xiangyin and is probably a newcomer."

"You need to know that rivals are particularly envious when they meet." Wang Lingyuan said earnestly, "The unclaimed bodies in the patrol office are originally of little value. Even if they are sold to a charity burial, they are worth no more than two taels of silver. But you have been buying them for four or five taels, which has already caused some discontent among your peers. I see them as people who are hard to deal with and may vent their anger on you, bringing trouble. You are still young and not aware of the dangers in this line of work, so you should be vigilant daily and not let these shady people take advantage of you..."

Little did Wang Lingyuan know that the bodies of those peers he mentioned had already turned cold. In a few more days, they would probably be nothing but a pile of decayed bones, and how could they cause trouble for Xu Qing?

Even if the world is as perilous, could it be more perilous than his junior brother?

Although Wang Lingyuan’s reminder came late, kindness never comes too late.

Xu Qing sincerely thanked him and accompanied him to the door of the funeral shop before stopping. freёwebnoѵel.com

As he was leaving, Wang Lingyuan promised to look after his business and, if there were any unclaimed bodies, to find a way to send them to his shop first.

Xu Qing thought to himself, "Doesn’t this count as a monopoly in our industry?"

Thinking about the constant source of bodies in the future, he couldn’t help but feel delighted!

Old Hu at the coffin shop down the street saw this and thought there was some good news.

"Young Xu! Why are you grinning so wide? Is there good news? Is your family about to welcome a new member?"

Xu Qing raised his eyebrows at the words. Indeed, he was about to welcome new members, but not living ones.

At the entrance to the shop, when Hu Baosong learned that they were only brothers, he instantly lost interest: "I’ve been on this street for over sixty years, witnessed countless people coming and going from different shops, and attended many weddings. Now, in my old age, with only a few days left, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to attend one of your weddings."

At this point, Hu Baosong suddenly became interested, and even his dim old eyes brightened a bit.

"Young Xu, I see you are a diligent and honest man. Since you are in no hurry to get married and have no elders around, why not consider adopting me as your father so we can take care of each other in our old age..."

Xu Qing quickly interrupted! "I accept you as my street neighbor, and you want to become my father?"

"Uncle Hu, I know you are alone and eager to find someone to bury you, but you don’t need to be in such a hurry. Even if you were to pass away one day, I wouldn’t mind paying for your funeral shroud and coffin."

Uncle Hu, lying on his chair, joked and cursed, "Handling my funeral? Are you planning to turn this old man into a walking corpse and sell me to a coal mine?"

This old man...

Xu Qing suppressed his surprise and said with a smile, "That won’t happen. With your old arms and legs, you wouldn’t fetch a good price even if you were sold. Besides, I am an honest man. Helping neighbors with their funerals is no big deal."

Hu Baosong clicked his tongue twice and said, "Fine, if I come looking for you for my funeral, don’t regret it."

"..."

The more Xu Qing listened, the more uncomfortable he felt. Why did it sound so creepy coming from Hu Laohan?

...

Two days passed in a flash. That day, Xu Qing heard that two murders had happened on Long Lamp Street. During this time, Wang Lingyuan specifically visited the funeral shop, saying that if Xu Qing wanted to learn the techniques of forensic examination, he could meet him in the mortuary after the patrol office closed.

With such an invitation, Xu Qing was restless all day, feeling as if the day dragged on endlessly.

He hadn’t touched a corpse in two whole days, and his hands were itching as if he were being scratched by a cat.

Next door, Wu Yaohua’s child was still reciting Confucian texts, preparing for the upcoming spring exams.

Opposite, the incense and candle shop lady was sitting at the shop’s entrance with a basket of needlework, using the bright daylight to work on wrapping thread around a spindle.

Only Xu Qing was idly leaning on the counter, bored, and chewing on a candle.

However, the candle he bought today felt sharp in his mouth, perhaps because the incense and candle shop owner had changed suppliers.

The more Xu Qing ate, the more wrong it felt, so he went directly to the shop to question her.

The shop owner was busy with the thread when she suddenly felt a shadow over her.

She looked up to see young Shopkeeper Xu from across the street, standing at the door with a serious expression.

"What’s the matter?"

"Of course, there’s something wrong! Look at this candle I just bought from your shop. Smell this, look at the color of the wax, it’s clearly not right!"

Xu Qing handed over a piece of broken candle like an old scholar from the wax industry.

He rambled on for a while, finally saying earnestly, "Even if the incense candles are for gods or the dead, we shouldn’t be careless. After all, who can guarantee that the incense candles won’t be used for ourselves one day? So, professional integrity must be maintained, and we should never perform underhanded, unethical business..."

The shop owner was scolded for a while, but she couldn’t argue, as she was indeed at fault.

But it was indeed strange. She had just bought a new batch of goods at a much lower price yesterday, and from the appearance, they didn’t seem different. How could young Shopkeeper Xu across the street tell at a glance that something was wrong?

After some discussion, the shop owner blushingly agreed to divide the goods into two types in the future: good candles at the original price and the slightly inferior ones at a reduced price.

After dealing with the candle issue, Xu Qing saw a group of uninvited guests coming down the street.

Underground Street is known for its funeral businesses, and except for passersby, it’s rare for anyone to wander here. But this group didn’t just wander; they went from shop to shop.

Seeing them emerge from Hu Baosong’s coffin shop and heading towards the shroud store, Xu Qing wondered, "What are these Capital Taxation Bureau people doing here again?"

The incense and candle shop owner also forgot about her needlework and stood on tiptoe to look. Her face suddenly changed, and she said, "They must be here to collect money again!"

"Collect money? It’s not a festival or tax collection time. What money could they be collecting?"

The shop owner was clearly well-informed and knew a lot about national affairs.

"What else, it must be the rebel tax!"

What on earth? Xu Qing’s brain couldn’t process it for a moment. Rebel tax? What kind of strange thing is that?

Fortunately, the shop owner explained it to him.

"These days, a group called the Celestial Heart Sect has been secretly throwing money and pamphlets into the yards of local residents. Each household received at least half a string of cash, and some got a whole string. They say the Celestial Heart Ancestor Mother complies with the celestial will and that the current emperor is a fake..."

The shop owner quickly stopped herself, then added, "We common folk don’t understand the Celestial Heart Sect’s background, but the government says they are rebels and that the money they distributed is to incite rebellion. It can’t be kept and must be handed over."

Xu Qing immediately understood. So it was this so-called rebel money!

While they were talking, the tax collectors had already arrived at the opposite Paper Mache Shop.

Faced with the tax collectors’ questioning, Wu Yaohua showed a troubled expression and said, "Officers, I burned the pamphlet given by the Celestial Heart Sect, so I really can’t provide it."

"Burned it? You say you burned it, but maybe you hid it and became a follower of the Celestial Heart Sect!"

Wu Yaohua waved his hands repeatedly, "No, I didn’t! To be honest, officers, my child is taking the spring exams this year. When I saw that pamphlet, I was afraid it might cause trouble. If it delayed my child’s exams, it would be a disaster, so I threw it into the stove and burned it."

The tax collectors didn’t care if he really burned it or not. Those who had the pamphlet had to pay two strings of dirty money.

If you burned the pamphlet or used it as toilet paper and it was missing, then you had to pay four strings. Otherwise, you were considered a rebel, a crime punishable by death and the confiscation of your family property!

Xu Qing didn’t know when he had come closer, but upon hearing this, he thought to himself that this was not about collecting rebel money but outright robbing their hard-earned cash!

Seeing that things were going wrong, he quickly returned to his shop and took out a few taels of silver and a few strings of cash, just enough to make up eight strings.

At the entrance of the Paper Mache Shop, while Wu Yaohua was inside fetching money, Xu Qing handed over the full eight strings without missing a single coin.