I PICKED UP A CHILD IN A DUMPSTER-Chapter 81: Escape plan it is.

Si Hon face went blank.

"Yea. Fuck you."

The person beside the cell burst into laughter.

It wasn’t loud— more like a soft, amused laugh that echoed faintly in the stone corridor.

Si Hon could almost picture them leaning back against the wall with a small smile.

"Relax, relax," the person said after a moment, still sounding entertained. "I’m joking. Mostly."

They stretched slightly— Si Hon could hear fabric shifting against stone.

"Well... good luck, I guess. I should conserve my energy. The arena’s coming soon."

Si Hon blinked.

"Wait. What do you mean by arena?"

The person clicked their tongue softly.

"It’s where the Munches throw their prisoners to fight for entertainment. Humans, monsters, whatever they capture."

Their voice lowered slightly. "Luckily... It used to be rare for humans to get picked. Usually it was monster versus monster."

A brief pause followed.

"...Used to be." 𝚏𝕣𝕖𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚗𝐨𝐯𝕖𝕝.𝕔𝐨𝕞

Si Hon frowned.

"Used to?"

The person exhaled slowly.

"The Munches recently developed an interest in watching humans fight each other," they explained. "So now, every three days... they drag people out and throw them into the arena."

A quiet, humorless chuckle followed.

"Honestly? That’s not even the worst part."

Si Hon raised an eyebrow.

"There’s worse?"

"Oh my god," the person groaned. "Will you shut up and let me finish first?"

"...Okay."

"Good."

The person shifted again, their voice dropping lower.

"The worst part is what happens before the arena. Sometimes they drag prisoners outside and dump them in the Red Forest."

"Outside?" Si Hon interrupted. "Couldn’t you just run away from the Munches then?"

Soft laughter came from the neighboring cell.

"Did I say the Munches take you there?"

Si Hon paused.

"No?"

"Exactly."

The person leaned closer to the wall between their cells, their voice lowering to a quiet, bitter tone.

"A sick freak who calls herself the greatest mage in the world supervises it instead."

Si Hon felt a cold prickle crawl up his spine.

"She puts a binding spell around your neck," the person continued. "If you try to run away... boom."

They made a soft popping sound with their tongue.

"Your head explodes."

A short silence followed.

"Worse," the person added calmly. "The spell tortures you first. Paralyzes you. Leaves you screaming on the ground... until the monsters in the Red Forest come to finish the job."

For once, Si Hon didn’t make a joke.

He just stood there gripping the iron bars, sweat slowly forming on his forehead.

"How do you know all this?" he finally asked.

The person beside the wall laughed softly again.

A quiet, tired laugh this time.

"...Because I’ve experienced all of it," they said. "I’ve been here for a month."

There was a small rustling sound, as if they were lying down or settling into a more comfortable position.

"Well," the person added lazily, "that’s enough talking. I need to save my energy."

The corridor fell quiet again.

Si Hon remained standing at the bars for a long moment, staring down at the damp stone floor.

Slowly—

He began sweating.

"Fuck... I really am dead."

Si Hon rubbed his face slowly, staring at the damp stone ceiling like a man contemplating every bad life decision that led him here.

"And the Munches earlier definitely said it’ll be my turn..."

He glanced at the two floating windows above him. They were still arguing loudly like a divorced parents but in a hologram form.

He sighed and ignored them.

Instead, he walked back to the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the cold floor again. The water bottle rolled slightly beside his foot. He grabbed it and chugged the entire thing in one go.

Glug. Glug. Glug.

Empty.

(...Escape plan it is.)

Insert the goofy background noi— song.

After finishing the water, he slowly lay down on the floor and rolled toward the skeleton resting against the wall like it had been waiting there for years.

"Hey," Si Hon said casually, like he was greeting a roommate. "I think... I really should make an escape plan."

The skeleton, unsurprisingly, did not object, of course it didn’t...

So Si Hon stood up and immediately began stripping it.

The poor skeleton had only been wearing a loose white t-shirt and a pair of plain pajama pants.

"...Sleeping pajamas," Si Hon muttered thoughtfully.

He slipped the clothes on without shame.

Perfect fit.

He dusted the shirt slightly and looked down at himself.

"Fits like a glove... damn that sounds cliche."

Then his eyes drifted back toward the skeleton. More specifically... Toward its leg.

The femur bone.

Slowly, Si Hon crouched down and picked it up.

He examined it carefully like a professional tool inspector.

Then he grinned.

"Don’t be mad," he whispered to the skeleton. "I need to get out."

For some reason—

He winked at it.

"...Thanks, Uncle Skeleton."

Inside his head, however, a completely different thought surfaced.

(I swear... once I get out of here, I’m making kimchi.)

He clenched the bone slightly.

(I don’t care if there’s no cabbage in Snowfall Mountain. I’ll invent snow-kimchi if I have to.)

A determined expression appeared on his face.

(Kimchi never betrays you. Unlike a certain floating systems.)

Behind him—

The two floating windows finally noticed what he was doing.

They stopped fighting mid-argument and turned toward him.

「파파... ಠ_ಠ what are you doing?」

The other window tilted smugly.

「Making an escape plan, obviously. (⌐■-■) I understand my host perfectly. Unlike you. Now be quiet, you child floating window.」

Han-Gyeol Mimi immediately puffed up.

「(ง’̀-’́)ง YOU WANNA FIGHT AGAIN?!」

Systemy cracked its knuckles dramatically.

「(╬ Ò﹏Ó)ง Gladly.」

And just like that—

They started fighting again.

"Yeah, yeah," Si Hon muttered, completely ignoring them.

He stepped closer to the iron bars, holding the femur bone like a sacred artifact.

Then he pressed the bone against his forehead and inhaled slowly.

Deep breath.

Focus.

The four skill icons suddenly appeared beside him.

"Zwoop."

The moment he heard that familiar sound— Si Hon opened his eyes.

And realized something very important.

He was in the air.

Outside the cell.

Falling.

"...Oh."

"Thump."

He landed on his feet with a small stumble.

For a second, he just stood there.

Then realization exploded in his brain.

"I... I did it."

His eyes widened.

"Oh my god, I did it!"

His hands grabbed his own face in disbelief.

"I didn’t teleport upside down! I didn’t slam into the ground! I didn’t fall face first like that one time with the—"

He suddenly stopped mid-celebration.

Very slowly...

Si Hon turned his head toward the neighboring cell.

And stared.

(Should I?)