I Will Be the Greatest Knight-Chapter 436: Hard to Face

Despite Irene’s eyes filling with tears, she managed to keep her composure otherwise, with straight posture and perfect manners that didn’t point to what she was truly feeling whatsoever.

In response to the clear mental turmoil, Rochelle reached forward and held one of her daughter’s calloused hands, resisting the urge to comment on how needlessly rough they had gotten. Even with hands like that, she had caught the attention of one of the most powerful men in the entire kingdom.

"Normally, when someone is told that someone is in love with them, their first reaction isn’t to cry," Rochelle explained in a soft voice.

As Irene’s mother, she couldn’t help wondering if there was more to the story than what she had witnessed. Perhaps there was already the beginning, middle, and end of a romance, but she and Irene had grown so distant in their letter writing that she never knew about it.

Regret pulled at the mother’s heart. Today was her effort to grow closer and understand where Irene was in her life because she never thought love would be the direction the knight’s life would head. After all, that was what Irene had said herself many times in the past.

Irene pulled her hand back and managed to drink more tea so that no one outside of the conversation would think anything of her response or know that she was pathetically crying in public. She wished the drink were something far stronger and she had much more of it. These conflicting thoughts she had, she wanted to be rid of all of them.

She found her voice as she asked, "How am I supposed to pursue what’s in my heart when Dad is sick?" Her voice was quiet but no less desperate.

Rochelle offered a sad smile, silently conveying her understanding. After all, this had been her nightmare for months.

"I never take my eyes off of him," Rochelle explained. "He’s been the same for a few months. The night you heard me speaking, I was exaggerating."

She referred to her questioning Arthur that his cough had gotten worse when, in fact, it had days where it was much worse than that.

"I don’t know..." Irene trailed off, uncomfortably tucking her hair behind her ear.

"If you return Duke Mattson’s affections, it might be wise to return to the Duke’s Tower. Men are so impatient. They won’t wait around forever."

However, despite that what her mother was saying was meant to disturb her, Irene managed to crack a smile at that. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

Even though she had those insecure thoughts herself, when they were out in front of her, she knew that Henry wasn’t someone who would give up so easily if he truly liked someone. Or loved... the thought itself was so burdensome. She knew they had a lot to talk about upon her return, but she didn’t think it had to do with love. Mere affection was enough while she figured out where she stood or how she would handle it if he truly returned the heavy feelings she had managed all on her own for what felt like a long time.

"I don’t think the Commander is like that," Irene quietly corrected, her face feeling hot. "He’s quite a patient person."

"He would have to be patient, knowing just how wild my daughter is," Rochelle responded quietly, picking up her tea again and finishing off what was left in the porcelain cup. "Does that mean you return his affections?"

That was when Irene’s composure really broke as she finally slouched and her arms rested heavily on the table top.

"I-I’m not sure," she lied.

If there was anything she was sure of in her life, it was that he had been affecting her from the moment she met him. Only more recently did she realize how settled she seemed when he comforted her or how she felt like the most important person alive when only she had his attention.

She wanted so badly to see what else he could elicit from her. While she battled with these horrible thoughts and feelings about her father’s health, could he perhaps comfort her through this as well?

But to leave her father behind...

"Then all that’s left is allowing you to figure it out on your own," Rochelle admitted. "I personally wouldn’t mind having a Duke as a son-in-law."

Irene’s eyes widened, and her face turned red. "Mother!" she chided under her breath. She was in disbelief at where the conversation had gone. The last thing she wanted to think about was marriage. How burdensome it would be to be married to a duke. But if they really did find a mutual love, she knew that one day it might go in that direction...

She realized just how ahead of herself she was getting.

Rochelle felt that her work was done, and they finished up at the tea house. For the first time Irene could recall, she didn’t leave that place feeling like all patrons were looking down on her—or perhaps they were, but she was no longer an insecure child who cared about that sort of thing.

Was she allowed a bit of arrogance if she truly had caught the Commander’s attention in such a way?

They climbed into the carriage, and Rochelle knew right away that she had struck a chord within Irene because they fell into a thoughtful silence the moment the carriage pulled away from the tea house. Rather than peering out the window and taking in all the sights as before, Irene leaned against the window, her elbow propping her head up, but her eyes were unfocused.

That was why, when they returned home, Rochelle wasn’t all that surprised when Irene rushed out of the carriage as quickly as she could. Luckily, her daughter was sure-footed, and the half-frozen snow or mud wasn’t an issue as she ran to the front door and disappeared into the sizable home.

So that there would be no fuss, Irene was sure to remove her boots. She then went to the front sitting room, upstairs to her parents’ room, and then finally to her father’s library, where she found the man she sought.

She was a bit out of breath when she arrived, and Arthur could only stare at his daughter with raised eyebrows as his door slammed open and then shut. Rochelle hadn’t even managed to get into the house yet. At Irene’s urgency, she had been rushing.

There was no need to ask why his daughter was there. Irene spoke first shortly after her sudden arrival.

"Father, do you really think the Commander loves me?" she asked, a determined look in her eyes.