I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?-Chapter 98

Unlike the somewhat heavy ending to the meal, tea time afterward resumed in a lighter atmosphere.

Once the dishes were cleared and tea and sweets were brought out, we all, without needing to say anything, stopped talking about the “monsters.”

The family needed some peace. Just a little—just enough of a break from it all.

“Let’s start having dinner together more often. Maybe every other day in the dining room. How does that sound? Darling, is that all right with you?”

Everyone nodded to Mother’s gentle voice.

To be honest, it felt like they were trying to create memories with someone who was about to leave—or trying to give that someone a few more to take with them. That thought weighed heavily on me. Still, I didn’t show it. I just idly played with my teacup.

The next day, the mansion was in a commotion. But it wasn’t a happy kind of excitement—it was the kind of bustle that came with work.

...Up until now, the mansion had only ever been noisy in good ways.

With a bitter feeling, I sat by the window ledge and watched the maids and servants busily rushing about, the endless stream of carriages arriving one after another.

“What’s all the fuss about?”

Jane, who had been checking the medicine given by the doctor, paused briefly to answer.

“Looks like the knights sent from the Imperial Palace, along with weapons and other equipment, are arriving today.”

“Really?”

Sure enough, just like Jane said, box after box spilled out of the supply carriages lined up outside, some of them packed with ominous-looking weapons.

When are they going to finish carrying all that in?

Also... are all the knights being stationed here? Judging by the sheer amount of weapons and cargo, there must be a huge number of them...

Of course, I knew the mansion was large. The servants' quarters and the knights’ barracks were separate. I’d heard there were four or five sparring grounds next to the vast, maze-like gardens.

Still... wasn’t it a bit cramped for hosting all the reinforcements?

I tilted my head, thinking about it, then got up from my seat.

Well... truthfully, it wasn’t something I needed to worry about. The subjugation battle was less than two weeks away, which meant all of this had already been prepared well in advance.

The noise outside was just giving me a headache, so I drew the curtains and turned my back to the window.

But even with the curtains drawn, the noise from outside still seeped in.

With my back turned, listening to the commotion, it suddenly hit me—why my family had decided to tell me the truth yesterday.

With this level of chaos, they wouldn’t have been able to hide anything anymore... That’s why they told me the day before the weapons and the people arrived.

Yesterday must have been the last possible chance.

If they could have delayed it longer, how long would they have kept pushing it off?

“Young Lady, it’s time for your midday medicine.”

The meaningless question dissolved at Jane’s voice.

The medicine she handed me was a square-shaped brown pill.

Hah, I said I didn’t want the green ones or the round ones, and now she’s dug up something weird like this... I stared at the square tablet in disbelief, then just tossed it into my mouth.

Blegh.

I almost spat it back out, but for the sake of preserving what little human dignity I had left in front of Jane, I forced myself to swallow.

The doctor is a genius. How do they manage to make something this disgusting every time? If we fed this to the monsters, maybe they’d tuck their tails and run.

I chewed quickly, swallowed hard, and flailed my hand for juice, which Jane handed over.

God, I better not get sick again.

Knock knock.

I’d spent the whole day quietly holed up in my room so as not to get in the way of all the chaos outside.

But that evening, someone came to visit me.

Even though it had been a while since I last heard it, I recognized the rhythmic knock immediately. I couldn’t help but feel a little impressed.

“Come in.”

Just as I thought. The one who stepped in was Lukas. Just how long is this sound going to feel so familiar?

Will it still be familiar ten years from now?

“You’re not sleeping today.”

“I don’t usually sleep at this time.”

It was nearly time for dinner. And I’d been making sure to eat dinner properly lately... so this wasn’t my usual sleep time.

“You were asleep the other day when I dropped by.”

“Oh.”

The other day? Ah, that day. The day I collapsed on the bed from feeling unwell and passed out.

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The day I woke up and changed clothes afterward.

Right, I did skip dinner and just slept. Jane tried to wake me up for it, but I’d ignored her and gone back to sleep.

Come to think of it, he came by that day? Why?

I tilted my head in curiosity, and Lukas’s eyes curved as he answered.

“I came to let you know the official schedule had been decided.”

How does he always know exactly what I’m thinking? Is he using some kind of mind-reading technique?

That ridiculous thought briefly crossed my mind and disappeared.

In its place came the memory of last night’s dinner—of my family bringing up the subjugation battle with such heavy expressions.

“I actually... heard about it from my family last night.”

“Yes. I also heard from Aaron today that he’d told you.”

We both fell silent.

Lukas’s face looked just as bitter as the taste in my mouth.

“He looked like he was about to cry when he told me. Did he cry in front of you too?”

He was clearly trying to lighten the mood with his teasing tone.

I shrugged and answered casually.

“His eyes did seem a little watery.”

Lukas stared at me with a dazed expression, as if surprised by my reply, then suddenly burst out laughing.

Was it really that funny?

Well, I guess that’s not a bad thing.

Wiping away the tears at the corners of his eyes, Lukas straightened his posture and looked at me.

“Don’t worry about the Duke. I’ll protect him with my life.”

Maybe it was the leading man line, but just for today, Lukas seemed incredibly reliable. I nodded and thanked him.

“Please be careful too.”

I added a little concern.

At that, his lips froze mid-smile. That frozen expression turned to me, and for some reason, he looked deeply uneasy.

“Sir Lukas?”

His uneasy face only returned to normal when I called his name.

As if he’d never stiffened at all, he put on a natural—no, performative—smile.

But I said nothing. If he wanted to act, I had no reason to call him out on it.

After that brief conversation, we had a simple dinner together.

I wasn’t sure why it turned out that way... it just did.

Strangely enough, that happens a lot with Lukas.

Could it be he came by in the evening on purpose? Just to have dinner together?

...Nah. It’s not like dinner is some huge deal.

That rising suspicion, I quickly set aside.

“Shall we take a walk?”

After dinner, over a cup of tea, Lukas suggested a walk.

I nodded without hesitation. Seeing me agree so easily, Lukas actually looked surprised.

What’s so surprising about that?

Truthfully, I had a reason for it.

While we ate, I kept thinking about that uneasy expression on his face.

And after spending the entire dinner turning it over in my mind, I came to a conclusion.

No matter how heroic the male lead knight may be, war must still be terrifying.

He was going to be on the front lines of the subjugation battle. As the date got closer, he must be getting more anxious than even I was.

Even if he pretended he wasn’t afraid, he was walking into a battle where he might lose his life—how could he not be scared?

Lukas was someone dear to me.

Honestly, not to the level of Father, but still—I wanted him to return safely. He was a nuisance, but he’d also done so much for me.

So until he left for the battle, I wanted to grant him whatever small wishes I could.

Seeing him look so uneasy... it made me feel bad for him.

“Good thing the sun’s set.”

I looked around the dark garden and spoke.

Just a little while ago, the garden had been so loud and chaotic, but now that the sun had set, it had gone completely quiet.

I could feel Lukas glance down at me as we walked side by side.

“What, because there’s no one around like during the day?”

His voice had a hint of laughter, but I quietly shook my head.

Sure, I liked the quiet—but that wasn’t why I said it was a good thing.

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“You don’t like sunsets, remember?”

Ah. There it was again.

His face stiffened. Not just his expression this time—his footsteps, too, came to a halt.

I stopped walking as well and looked up at him.

It was strange.

Even though the sun had set and it was dark, his violet eyes still gleamed vividly.

Like the eyes of a starved beast.

“Selina.”

He called my name, blankly staring at me with that frozen face.

“Yes, sir.”

It didn’t seem like he expected a response, but I answered anyway. Lukas stared at me for a moment, then stepped back two paces.

One, two.

I wondered whether I should follow [N O V E L I G H T] him—but it felt like he’d intentionally put distance between us, so I stayed still and just watched.

“Selina.”

My name came out of his mouth again, now two steps away. This time, I didn’t reply. I just shrugged.

Go ahead. Whatever it is, I’ll listen.

Lukas stood there, staring at Selina. Her hair danced in the wind—it was breathtaking.

Ah, even if it’s just under this red twilight... I wish it were a little brighter.

He wanted to see her face in the light.

That pale face, those sky-colored eyes, that hair that framed them perfectly.

He wanted to capture them more clearly, more vividly in his mind.

If only... if only he had hurried a little more. Well, too late now.

He was always late.

“I like you.”

The words burst out, raw and rough.

Not a single pretty word attached. Just four syllables carrying nothing but his own, unfiltered feelings.

It was a short confession—impulsive, yet deliberate.

Lukas had wanted to confess before the subjugation battle began.

He might not come back. So while he was still alive and well, he wanted to spit out everything inside him. Without leaving behind a single regret.

He couldn’t go into battle carrying lingering feelings. He couldn’t swing a sword in the chaos of war while still wondering what might’ve been.

He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from thinking of Selina when he looked up at the sky in the middle of battle.

The feeling had grown so absurdly deep, it would end up anchoring him in the middle of war. A love unspoken would fester into a regret strong enough to beg for life.

So, he’d decided over and over again to confess.

Today, I’ll tell her.

Today, I’ll say it.

But expressing his feelings wasn’t as easy as he thought.

He was scared. He was anxious.

Because he already knew exactly what answer he’d get.

His confession was like a period.

A punctuation mark he had to place to end this endless sentence of longing. A clean ending to the mess of desire and emotion he’d carried too long. Yes, a period.

That kind of confession.

A truth he could only speak once he was ready to let it go.

That’s what it meant to him.

Suddenly, he felt like crying.