I'm Crushing on Gorgeous Faces in Variety Shows!-Chapter 217: You Are a Woman of Ill-Fated Destiny
A full page of words! Is this an identity card or an appliance user manual?!
Cheng Zhirang responded gently, "It’s yours. What’s the matter, is there a problem?"
"More than just a problem," Mu Qiu opened the identity card to show him, "Have you ever seen an identity card that’s crammed to fill every corner with words?"
As soon as the identity card was opened, Cheng Zhirang didn’t need to look closely at the content; just seeing the densely packed words on the entire page was enough.
"Indeed, there are a few too many words."
Mu Qiu corrected him, "It’s a lot! Might as well rename it ’My Life Manual,’ shouldn’t identity descriptions be succinct? Like, two sentences."
For example, a Female Knight in the wilderness who has experienced many episodes of love and hate, how concise and clear is that?!
She thought this was simply insane, putting the identity card right in front of her face for the camera to see clearly:
"I want the audience to see whether this is an identity card or a user manual, long-winded and tedious."
[I see it, my claustrophobia already passed away, can’t help you]
[So many words, hahahahaha]
[All I can see is a black blur, densely packed and covering the entire sheet of paper]
[If I’m not mistaken, aren’t the fonts on this even smaller than Brother Huai’s previous identity card by two sizes?]
[Mu, you’re truly a daughter of destiny, such a complex identity]
[Piece of cake, but the content is the most exciting part]
[After today, you’ll know what kind of life awaits a woman who doesn’t update]
[I’m not doing homework anymore, eagerly awaiting the reveal of our settings]
[Mu Qiu, truly lying without blinking, deceiving Brother Cheng with genuine emotion]
[Why do they seem kind of sweet together?]
[I just saw an artist rush a "Brother Huai pitifully entrusted his identity card" chubby drawing! So cute!]
[Brother Cheng: I believed your endless nonsense]
[Mu Qiu is really a Brother Cheng fan, always starting with flattery at every meeting]
[To avoid scaring the big brother, Cheng Zhi has held back for so many years, little did we know the new Yan fans would take the opportunity]
[Mu Qiu’s speech is really... straight-up praise, without any reserve]
[After watching for so long, I must say, Brother Mei Yan is really gentle!]
[As an outsider, how can one have a man like Brother Cheng?]
[We, Cheng Zhi, usually dream for that. You can try it too]
[Still stuck on Mu Qiu’s comment: We found a Brother Cheng hahahahaha]
[Don’t say more, or I’ll recall the surreal scene of Brother wearing a suit riding a tricycle]
[Did Brother’s identity card get found?]
[I could barely make out two lines, Mu Qiu’s identity is incredible]
[Explained a melodramatic life fully]
[Hahahahahaha damn! What did I just see?!]
After enough showtime, Mu Qiu calmed herself, trying to reassure herself—
Finding the identity card with someone else’s help is good enough, at least it’s found, isn’t it? There are still people who haven’t found theirs. Plus, once she finishes looking, she can take the test.
With that bit of self-reassurance, she felt her mood stabilizing and decided to look at the content.
What kind of remarkable fallen princess identity did her fans fabricate for her?
She waved to Cheng Zhirang, "Brother Cheng, want to look together?"
"Is that okay? This is your identity card."
"It’s fine, I might not remember what I read, maybe I can ask you for answers during the test."
"..." So that was the purpose.
Cheng Zhirang was invited over, standing a bit to her left rear, lowering his head to look at the densely written identity card with her.
[Turbulent and Romantic Female Knight—You are a woman with a troubled destiny...]
The opening line is a summary, clearly someone excelled in language arts, let’s read on.
[You are a woman with a troubled destiny, a farmer’s wife found you in a garbage heap, dirt-covered and with a large birthmark on your face when discovered.
You lost your father at three, mother at nine, and performed acts like ’breaking stones on the chest’ with your brother to make a living. At twelve, you were snatched up by a fifty-year-old obese rich merchant and taken forcefully to his mansion, you barely escaped death with all your might.
At thirteen, even the City God Temple couldn’t hold you anymore, luckily someone said you had superior bone structure, perfect for cultivation, and took you to the Immortal Cultivation World.
But your remarkable life had only just begun. At fifteen, your heart awoken to love, you fell for an aristocratic young master who was wounded saving you, then the young master discovered your infidelity and broke your brother’s leg, abandoning you both.
At sixteen, you fell for a thin man you met in the bamboo forest, to discover he was a cultivator at an Immortal Gate medicine hall. Half a year later, a female pharmacist impregnated secretly by him poisoned and stabbed you, throwing you and your brother into the Immortal Gate’s forbidden area.
At seventeen, within the forbidden area, you fell for another man but didn’t expect he was a pervert, as you wanted to leave the forbidden area, he murdered your brother and imprisoned you.
(Omitted are many stories of love and hate) Ultimately unable to bear the torture of this life, you succumbed to demonic influence, lost your memory, and lived happily with the man who tortured you most.]
Mu Qiu skimmed through all the words rapidly, finally lifting her head to show the camera an expression—a complex mix of words fail me, disbelief, incredulity, escalating irritation, nearing explosive, with an added questioning black person meme.
"I thought I’d be miserable, but I didn’t think I’d be this miserable?!"
The last sentence was the worst, successfully choking her until her eyes rolled up.
Living happily with the man who tortured her most???
What kind of ancient, suffocating trope is that?
Her readers have graduated, accumulating so many old tragic drama clichés at such a young age... and damn well used on her!
Mu Qiu simply let go of the identity card, letting Cheng Zhirang hold it alone, she rushed forward to grab both sides of the camera lens, shoved it to the front, baring her teeth as she viciously asked: 𝙛𝒓𝒆𝙚𝒘𝒆𝓫𝙣𝓸𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝒄𝒐𝓶
"Who concocted this identity?! Such madness! And who crazily upvoted to push this idea to the top?! Stand out and let me see which human shall be the first that my Female Knight slays with her blade!"
The cameraman brother hurriedly shielded the lens, turning his head while stifling laughter, his shoulders shaking crazily.
The staff had already found each other, embraced shoulder to shoulder, and collapsed together.
Mu Qiu was so furious her mind was spinning.
Over there, Cheng Zhirang finally finished reading the entire identity card, handing it back to Mu Qiu, his expression subtle.
He opened his mouth, under Mu Qiu’s aggrieved yet expectant gaze, offered her some comfort—
"Hang in there."
Mu Qiu: "..."
This indeed was too simple, so Cheng Zhirang added another sentence.
"At least your identity information is comprehensively summarized, saving you the guesswork."
Okay, that’s indeed true, with such detailed depictions of numerous experiences, she could directly take it to the academy for examination.
But the next moment, Cheng Zhirang uncovered some dismaying news for her.
————
In case anyone doesn’t grasp how many words are on this identity card, let me describe a bit more.
A normal identity card is like a computer, with words only on the screen when opened, but Qiuqiu’s identity information has words even on the keyboard area, and tightly packed, with font further reduced just to barely fit.
Therefore, can everyone imagine how many words there are?
