I'm the Crazy One in the Family-Chapter 132: Royal Straight Flush (1)

Ultima looked down and stared down at the pizza Keter had personally baked.

“T... This is...”

He didn’t need to take a bite—his eyes and nose told him everything. The bottom of the dough was crispy, and the top looked chewy. The tomato sauce gave off a sweet, tangy scent, and the rich aroma of meat clung to it thickly. The cheese, golden and slightly browned, looked like it would stretch in long strands with a bite.

But something was very wrong with this pizza.

“Hey, Keter. What the hell is this supposed to mean?”

Ultima shot to his feet, inexplicably angry, and marched over to Keter, who was smiling cheerfully.

“Why the hell did you put pineapple on a pizza?!”

Pineapples were a specialty fruit of the Kingdom of Adeus. The rarity and the price aside, it was a fruit. Putting something meant for dessert on top of pizza was, to Ultima, absolutely unforgivable.

“This isn't pizza!”

“Quit being dramatic. Just try it. It’s my masterpiece.”

“Why are you even here in the first place?!”

“I don’t know, it just happened.”

“What kind of things make a noble from a prestigious family bake pizzas in some restaurant?!”

“I tried pizza for the first time last night. It was really good. So I learned how to make it. Feel honored—you’re eating the very first pizza I’ve ever sold.”

Titles, situations—none of that ever restrained Keter. If he wanted to learn something, he learned it, whether the teacher was a child, old, a beastfolk, or a monster. frёewebnoѵel.ƈo๓

Ultima, who already knew Keter was completely unhinged, wasn’t all that surprised. But his trust in this particular pizza plummeted further.

"...Now I really don’t want to eat it."

“Great. More for me.”

“Hmph. You really think I’ll change my mind just because of that?”

Keter took off his apron, grabbed a slice of pineapple pizza, and stuffed it into his mouth.

One bite, then another... In an instant, one slice was gone. Then he picked up two slices at once.

Is he folding the slices and eating them at the same time?

Ultima swallowed as he watched Keter devour the pizza in such a blasphemous fashion.

N-no. What am I even thinking? Damn it, Keter’s making it look way too good.

Pineapple pizza. The name alone was ridiculous. It was a combination that sounded like it wouldn’t work, but...

Maybe just one bite? Just to see. What’s the harm?

But Ultima thought too long. By the time he decided, Keter had already finished the entire pizza and was holding the last slice.

“W-wait! Just leave me one piece!” Ultima said desperately.

Keter held out his palm.

“Two gold. Pay up.”

Even while salivating, Ultima couldn’t help but shout at the absurd price.

“That’s outrageous! Even in the Kingdom of Baen, where pizza originated, the average is eight silver! I don’t care how rare pineapple is—you only used a few slices! One gold, take it or leave it!”

“You think I care about the money?”

Keter opened his mouth to take a bite. Panicking, Ultima threw two gold coins on the table.

“There, I paid! Now give me my pizza!”

“Tsk. If you want it that badly, I guess I have no choice.”

“Hahaha! I’ve finally got it!”

Getting the one and only pineapple pizza in the world, Ultima bit into it with anticipation.

Crunch!

“...!”

It was an explosion of flavor. The nuttiness of the cheese and savory salami filled his mouth. The contrast of the chewy and crispy textures softly caressed his tongue.

But that wasn’t all.

Ultima’s eyes widened as a new burst of flavor exploded—the sweet juiciness of pineapple.

The sweetness of the pineapple isn’t overpowering—it blends perfectly. No, it actually elevates the flavor of the pizza!

He had expected the bold pineapple taste to clash with the rest, but he had been completely wrong.

I-I see. The pineapple has been baked. Because it’s cooked, the tartness is subdued, and the sweetness intensified. The flavors fuse into one harmonious, new-dimensional taste!

A revolution—Ultima felt it in that bite. And it wasn’t over.

“Wh-what in the...!”

The end crust of a pizza was usually just bread, but Keter’s pineapple pizza was different.

Crunch!

The empty crust was stuffed with cheese. Ultima couldn’t understand why no one in the Kingdom of Baen had tried this until now. It was incredibly delicious, and it was fun.

“Huh?”

Ultima stared at his empty hands.

Why isn’t the pizza in my hand? What happened to it?

Keter smiled contentedly.

That bastard ate it all. But... can’t he just make more?

“Keter! One pan of pineapple pizza—no, two!”

Ultima slammed four gold onto the table. But Keter shook his head.

“Glad you enjoyed it. But you didn’t come to Eslow’s fief just to eat pizza, did you?”

“That’s true. I followed the scent of money. But right now, I’ve decided to eat first, then think.”

“Come on. Is pizza really more important than gold?”

“No, wait! I need another pizza! I’m not leaving until I eat more!”

Keter sighed, then mercilessly chopped the back of Ultima’s neck and knocked him out cold.

Hoisting him over his shoulder, he called toward the kitchen.

“Master! Thanks for teaching me how to make pizza. Hope the business thrives!”

A muffled response came from the kitchen.

“Mmmph! Mmmph!”

The shop owner, tied up and gagged, tried to shout at him to at least untie him, but by then, Keter was already gone.

* * *

Carrying the burly Ultima slung over his shoulder, Keter arrived at the fountain in the square.

Splash!

“Gahhh!”

Ultima, who had been unconscious, thrashed around and pulled himself out of the fountain.

“Cough, cough! Damn it, Keter. You’re always doing whatever you want!”

“It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

“I’ve never forgiven you even once!”

“So petty...”

“...”

Ultima glared at Keter briefly, then used his aura to instantly evaporate the water from his body. It looked effortless, but it actually demonstrated that Ultima had already reached the level of a Master in aura control. Though at the moment, he was still very much being dragged around by Keter’s whims.

“So, how exactly are you planning to make money?”

“None of your business. I’ll earn it myself.”

“That’s not how it works. Your money is my money.”

“What are you... Sigh...”

Ultima knew Keter was like this, even in Liqueur. He would grab anyone nearby out of boredom, stir up a mess, and then refuse to let go until it was over.

He would volunteer to “help” even when no one asked, and until something was actually done, he wouldn’t leave you alone.

“I don't exactly have a plan yet.”

“Useless.”

The pure, innocent insult made Ultima’s eye twitch. Being called useless was one of the things he hated most in the world.

“You wouldn't understand since your answer to everything is to smash it to pieces, but in the world of merchants, it’s not that simple. Commerce runs on territories. Without a market zone, you can’t sell anything. And in this city, I don’t control even one percent of the market.”

“Hmm, but gambling isn’t bound by territory, right?”

“Gambling’s only allowed in licensed casinos. I can’t just open my own spot.”

“Do the casinos here take bets on things like the tournament results? Like, who’ll win the Sword of the South Tournament?”

“I believe they do. Don’t tell me your genius plan is to bet your entire fortune?”

“Is there some magic rule that says complicated ways of making money earn you more? Money’s money. Let’s go check out the biggest casino they’ve got.”

“Hmph, if we’re talking about the biggest one...”

“You don't know where it is?”

“I know. I know it very well.”

Ultima’s face twisted awkwardly, like a thief being forced to revisit the scene of the crime.

Keter patted him on the shoulder from behind and pushed him forward.

“Walk. Explain on the way.”

“...Fine.”

Ultima reluctantly started walking. Keter didn’t rush him for an explanation.

After a few moments of silence, Ultima began talking.

“The casino we’re heading to is owned by the Aleron Trading Company, who is my competition.”

The Aleron Trading Company imported accessories like rings and necklaces from other regions and were especially popular among noblewomen.

At first glance, they seemed to have no overlap with Ultima, who dealt in general goods, but merchant companies weren't just about retail. Rich merchants also bought land, built properties, and started businesses like farms, mines, inns, and so on.

The Aleron Company specialized in real estate for nobles, such as mansions, hotels, and casinos. Ultima, meanwhile, built dormitories, inns, and general stores for commoners.

“So there’s nothing that overlaps between you two.”

Keter threw in a well-timed comment. Encouraged, Ultima continued speaking without stopping.

“I thought so too... until that bastard set his sights on my territory.”

Cities were divided into regions for nobles and commoners. When cities expanded, these regions tended to change, as the commoners would get pushed outward. If an area that used to belong to the commoners was reclassified as noble territory, the old buildings were torn down. If a building belonged to the lord of the fief, it didn’t matter. If it belonged to a private citizen, all they would have to do was pay a compensation fee and demolish it.

But if it was a merchant’s property, the merchant was granted the right to rebuild elsewhere.

“Aleron. That bastard stole my reconstruction rights.”

There were a lot of details left out, but Keter already grasped the general situation.

“Your buildings got reclassified as noble territory. You wanted to sell the reconstruction rights, but Aleron did something and stripped you of those rights, is that it?”

“I didn’t even want to rebuild. I planned to sell the rights. But he used his connections and stole them outright. Didn't pay me a copper! That scumbag!”

“That’s weird. Don’t you have powerful backers too?”

Behind Ultima stood no less than four high nobles. Their influence could easily wipe out a trading company.

“Aleron’s backers were just as strong. I was outnumbered.”

Aleron was supported by over a hundred regular nobles and low nobles. No matter how influential an upper noble was, crushing that many low nobles at once was no easy task. And worst of all, the four high nobles backing Ultima had no real interest in his success. All they wanted was for Sefira to fall; they didn’t give a damn about Ultima personally.

“We’re here. That building over there is Red Siren, Aleron’s casino. They have the largest pot in the city.”

It was eye-catching even from a distance; the Red Siren was built over a lake, waterfalls flowing from its exterior walls, like a castle made of water. Despite its enormous size, the entrance was narrow, barely enough for two people at a time, guarded by large men in blue tuxedos.

Ultima hesitated.

He had already been beaten once by Aleron, and didn’t particularly want to walk back into the casino. Ultima was a ruthless warrior from Liqueur, but Aleron hadn’t just been lucky and rich.

Of course, Keter didn’t care in the slightest and walked right toward the entrance.

The guards looked them up and down, checking mainly for weapons or if they were beggars. Keter was empty-handed, but Ultima had a sword at his waist.

“You cannot enter Red Siren armed. Please surrender your weapon to us, and we will return it when you leave.”

Sighing heavily, Ultima handed over his sword, and the guards opened the doors.

“May fortune smile on you.”

Ultima frowned, walking into enemy territory completely unarmed and without any plan, and Keter, by contrast, grinned in excitement.

New novel chapt𝒆rs are published on free(w)ebnovel(.)com