I'm the Crazy One in the Family-Chapter 235: I Am Going to Kill You (2)

“So, what brings you here, Big Sis?” Keter asked casually.

Krona opened her mouth to speak, but hesitated.

“There are too many interlopers around.”

Nobles, sensing something, were skulking closer. Krona didn’t even want to waste time walking to the tent. She put her palms together and swung from top to bottom, bringing them down in a single motion. The space split apart, creating an area enclosing only Keter and Krona. The outside world turned an ashen gray.

Keter looked around in amusement. It wasn’t just the people who had frozen; the world itself had stopped.

“Did you stop time?”

“Not exactly, but the effect is similar. Not entirely wrong to say so. At least here we can have a private moment—just you and me.”

She ran her fingertips through Keter’s hair. His hair instantly went white where her hand touched it, then crumbled into ash and scattered.

“Hmm, it’s a shame, but you’re not my type, Big Sis.”

“Hehe, men always dislike women taller than them, don’t they?”

“It’s not about height. It’s just that I think you would enjoy... certain things alone, Big Sis.”

“Isn’t it the right of the strong to do as they please to the weak?”

“Don’t you know it’s more thrilling the other way in bed?”

Keter yanked Krona’s wrist hard. She was taken aback by the pressure she felt.

“Did you seriously just try to hug me?”

“You looked like you wanted a new experience.”

“You’re brazen—insane, even.”

Krona stepped back and fanned her face with her hand. She gave Keter a quick look, then noticed his gaze was fixed somewhere else and turned her head. She frowned. In a world that should be frozen, there was one being that still moved, and that was who Keter had been watching. That figure had still kept their color in the otherwise gray scenery, radiating a pink aura as they approached Krona’s space.

“Is that the princess, then?”

Keter acted like he was clueless, to which Krona nodded with a displeased expression.

“I suppose she didn’t want me to have you all to myself.”

“You don’t like the princess, Big Sis?”

“...”

Krona answered with silence. Meanwhile, the princess stepped through the gray barrier and stood between Krona and Keter.

She had long, pale pink waves of hair and wore a glass mask that hid everything but her lips. Her dress was a loose, light blue dress that did not show off her figure.

“I am Keter, Your Royal Highness,” he said, hand to his chest and bowing slightly.

His greeting was far too casual for royalty, but Iris accepted it without fuss.

“Iris,” she replied.

“If you’re done, would you mind leaving? This is a private space for Keter and me,” Krona snapped at Iris.

There wasn’t the slightest hint in her tone of any duty to show loyalty to the crown.

“...Krona Til Elius.”

“You just used my full name, Iris?”

“...”

The two women, each at the summit of power in their own right, glared at one another. With tightly pressed lips and arms crossed, neither showed the slightest intention of backing down.

* * *

Iris was the princess of the Lilian Kingdom. Her Charm, an ability she was born with, was so overwhelming that disasters followed her everywhere she went simply by existing.

“She’s mine!”

Iris’ old nursemaid tried to kidnap her...

“Ah! Princess Iris! Please accept my heart as tribute!”

A Master-level knight literally ripped his own chest open and offered his heart to the seven-year-old Iris...

Woof woof! Growl!

Even passing beasts went mad and attacked her in rut.

Because of all that, Iris endured a horrific childhood. Few could handle her. People who survived that kind of upbringing usually ended up one of two ways: an extreme tyrant, or, like Iris, a reclusive loner.

However, it had become much better now. First, she wore a cursed mask that made its wearer feel ugly; this suppressed her Charm as much as possible. Second, a Dragon Knight named Lexus, who was castrated and had little libido, served as her escort and companion. Still, she was born into a status that attracted attention no matter what she did.

“I wonder why Her Royal Highness is at sea.”

“She is warning the lord because he cannot get rid of the pirates that are causing a nuisance!”

“Oh! The queen is watching over us!”

Iris had simply wanted to look at the ocean.

“Princess Iris has started knitting?!”

“This must be a sign from the queen! The string is our arrogance, and the needle is punishment! This is a warning about our complacency!”

She had just wanted to try it.

Like this, people constantly over-interpreted every little thing Iris did as if it were some royal decree from the queen, and her life was nothing but tiring. Because of this, she mostly stayed in the palace, playing by herself. Her attendance at Sefira’s party had no deeper meaning; she only went because Veiga, with whom she had fun, was hosting it, and because it was outdoors this time.

She didn’t care about Keter, the hot potato. She didn’t care about him becoming the Bow of the South, or as the illegitimate son who had suddenly appeared in Sefira. But then she ran into Krona there.

Krona. No matter why you want Keter, I’ll interfere.

Krona and Iris had once been very close. They were like two peas in a pod, treating each other as sisters and traveling together. However, one certain incident drove them apart. No one knew why their relationship had soured; only the two of them did, and no one in the kingdom had the nerve to ask.

After staring each other down for a long moment, they simultaneously said, “Keter.”

Both women turned their gazes to Keter.

“Who goes first?”

“You choose.”

They were in unison again.

Now it was up to Keter. All of a sudden, he was forced to choose between the lord and the queen’s proxy. Whoever he picked, the other would surely resent him. Would he earn the enmity of the Lord of the West and the master of space-time magic, or the wrath of the shy, reclusive princess backed by Queen Lillian? Any choice would be costly, so anyone would hesitate to make a decision, but Keter didn’t. Without the slightest hesitation, he opened his mouth.

* * *

Wow. That was a close save. Damn bear. I didn’t expect him to be the worst teacher in history.

Learning Ein from Hyperion was taking far longer than Keter had expected. He knew the concept of Ein was difficult, of course, but the real reason was Hyperion himself. He could have just taught him exactly what he had learned, but for some reason, he kept shoving his own thoughts in and turning simple things into a muddle.

It was so vague and full of empty words... So I just had to interpret it myself.

Keter wanted to scrape every last bit out of Hyperion about the fusion method of Ein, but Hyperion was such an idiot that he had to give up and learn only the essentials before returning to Sefira. It was a relief that Decameron was versatile, as he handled the long-distance teleport, the presence-erasing magic, and the stealth.

By luck, they dropped right above the party grounds, so Keter had a chance to take a look at the party. There were faces he knew and faces he didn’t. Hissop acting like he was calm when he was incredibly nervous was also quite entertaining to watch.

But who is that?

There was one person who stood out among the crowd—a woman who was almost two meters tall. No one had noticed Keter, but she alone looked up at him and winked. However, on closer inspection, Keter remembered.

Krona, Lord of the West. What’s she doing here?

Keter knew about her because he had fought her in his past life, but he had never seen her in this one. He wondered why she was here, as he hadn’t been to the west or knew any prominent nobles of the west.

If I had to guess, it was Eslow who set this up.

Only the queen or another lord could get Krona to act.

Maybe he sent her to shield me from the princess? That would be an optimistic reading.

Either way, having someone as annoying as the princess show up wasn’t a bad thing.

This will liven the party up.

But first things first: Keter needed to punish Vector for beating Taragon like dough.

Hm, pretty quick and unorthodox. If I had arrived a little earlier, we could’ve had some fun.

If Keter had fought Vector before meeting Hyperion, it would’ve been a decent scrap...

...but after fighting Hyperion, Vector feels slow and weak enough to make me yawn.

There was no need for him to use archery either. Keter subdued him easily and avenged Taragon. He thought he could finally have a proper, adult-to-adult conversation with Krona, but that was when Iris intervened.

Seeing her up close, I get why everyone fears the princess.

Her scent tickled Keter’s nose. It was warm, like freshly sun-dried cotton. Keter was unaffected, but even monks would become flushed around her.

How much stronger would she be without that mask?

Keter had brought Orphe’s Mask to guard him against Iris’ Charm. It was the moment he felt certain it had been worth bringing, even at the risk.

Then the two women who had been locked in a staring contest suddenly turned their gazes to Keter.

Surely, this isn’t going to be cliche, right?

“Who goes first?”

“You choose.

It was an obvious, yet predictable situation. So, who was Keter going to choose?

“I don’t want either of you.”

Literally: I hate both of you, you bitches.

“...?!”

“...!”

Why are they so shocked? First time they’ve been rejected in their life?

Since neither of them understood, Keter had to explain.

“Do you know what this place is? Isn’t this a party celebrating my becoming the Bow of the South? So why are you two killing the mood? Look at them: do those look like faces enjoying a party?”

Keter pointed at the others, who were stiff and pale.

“Big Sis, can you roll this screen up? It’s suffocating here.”

“...Fine, I’ll lift it, but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m doing this because I’m curious about what you’re trying to say.”

Snap.

Krona snapped her fingers, and the veil of time lifted. People who hadn’t noticed that they had been frozen flinched at the sudden sight of the princess.

“Why is Lord Krona and Her Royal Highness standing around Keter?”

“Could it be...?!”

It was irrelevant what the crowd was talking about.

“Shall we brighten the mood?”

Using telekinesis, Keter forced the hesitant musicians to play again.

Ding! Ba-boom!

Joyful music filled the hall where only silence had remained.

Now this is a party.

Keter tried the wine from a tray and spat it out.

“Ugh, this is just water, Six!”

Keter called Six out of his stealth and pulled out a huge barrel of alcohol from his neck pouch. It was the very keg that the Fist Emperor, Hyperion’s master, used to enjoy. If the Fist Emperor enjoyed the stuff enough to get drunk on it, it was worse than strong. So, Keter had taken it off Hyperion’s hands, as he didn’t drink and told him to help himself.

“Judging by your pale faces, you don't seem to be enjoying the party. Let this madman of Sefira show you how to properly enjoy one.”

Whish!

Keter pulled a bunch of empty glasses toward him with telekinesis and filled each one with the Fist Emperor’s liquor. He gave one to everyone, including even Krona and Iris.

“If you want to speak with me, you must drink this. If you won’t, leave.”

Keter downed mine in one gulp. As the liquor entered his mouth, he could feel the paradoxical burning and numbing presence sweep through his mouth. He could even feel it go down his throat, straight to his gut.

Damn, this stuff is lethal. I’m called the god of booze, yet even I feel tipsy from just one glass.

Finishing the shot, Keter held his empty cup over his head.

These city bumpkins won’t get the hint, so I’ll spell it out.

“Down the first shot at once, understood?”