I'm the Crazy One in the Family-Chapter 252: Sefira Has Poisoned The Royal Palace (2)

Even though Keter knocked on the door, there was no response. Instead of doing something boring, like waiting or knocking again, he simply opened it. As the door swung open, warm sunlight peeked through. Keter already knew the door functioned as a teleportation gate, so without hesitation, he stepped through.

Grains of sand crunched beneath his feet. The door led to a beach, the vast ocean and salty breeze welcoming him.

This was an island somewhere in the western region. It was warm year-round, had mild weather, and was seemingly perfect for a peaceful retirement. This is where Duke Lerkin lived.

Though, to be exact, he’s living in confinement.

Keter scooped up a handful of sand and rolled it in his palm. The door behind him disappeared, but he was unbothered by it.

“I promised Dork we’d see the sea together... guess I went ahead without him,” he whispered.

Clap clap.

Keter brushed off his hands and looked toward the mansion ahead. In his previous life, the place had been tightly guarded, but now, not a single guard could be seen, neither on the beach nor around the house. Still, it wasn’t a wasted trip as noise came from within the mansion.

“Seems like he’s living quite the lively life,” Keter remarked.

In Keter’s past life, Lerkin had begged to be freed from this place. That kind of desperation didn’t arise overnight, so Keter expected to find the current Lerkin feeling the same way. However, it was also possible he was there to enjoy his life here.

Pushing aside his concerns, Keter decided to face things head-on. Worrying wouldn’t solve anything. Confrontation always came first.

Following the noise, he entered the mansion, then a large bathhouse.

“Where are you hiding? Here? I could swear I heard breathing...”

In the enormous bathhouse, a blindfolded middle-aged man fumbled around, trying to catch the servants and knights hiding nearby.

They froze at the sight of Keter, a stranger, but no one acted rashly. It wasn’t because they were complacent; after all, no random person could have stumbled upon this hidden island buried deep within the palace maze. They assumed Keter must have been someone who came specifically for Lerkin.

Keter observed the man. He was a little plumper than in his past life, but the gray hair made him unmistakably recognizable.

And he’s just ordinary.

Lerkin wasn’t a knight nor a mage, not even particularly handsome—just a perfectly average middle-aged man. That this person was the queen’s husband and one of the highest-ranking figures in the kingdom would’ve sounded like a joke to anyone else.

Keter picked up a bar of soap and placed it at Lerkin’s feet.

Thud!

“Agh!”

Lerkin, unaware of Keter’s presence, stepped on it and slipped, only for Keter to catch him effortlessly.

“Are you all right?” Keter asked gently.

Startled by the stranger’s voice, Lerkin tore off his blindfold.

“Who are you?!”

“Keter El Sefira. You can call me the Solver.”

Lerkin straightened up with a weary sigh.

“I appreciate you saving me, but I’ve already told you: I don’t know where Lillian is. Yet you’ve come looking for me again... Aren’t you tired of this?”

“There’s been a misunderstanding. I didn’t come to ask about Queen Lillian’s whereabouts.”

“If you’re here hoping for something from me, give it up. I have no power, and I can’t even leave this place.”

From those words, Keter could already imagine the hardships the man had endured.

“So the other nobles came to you for something, then?” he asked lightly.

That struck a nerve, and Lerkin exploded.

“Don’t even start! They all come spinning their words, trying to get information about Lillian from me. Or, they come spouting nonsense about how they would if I sided with them!”

Keter smiled sympathetically. “Wow, that must have been annoying. After winning that Sword of the South Tournament, people wouldn’t stop coming to me either, every last one of them just looking for personal gain.”

Even though it had been a small, perhaps intentional act, Keter had caught Lerkin as he slipped, and he was now sympathizing with him. It didn’t take long for the agitation in Lerkin’s eyes to soften.

“So, it seems like you’re not here for the same reason as them.”

“No, I’m not. I won’t ask about Her Majesty the Queen, and I have no interest in building factions. But I do have a purpose for coming to you,” Keter said.

“This place is both my paradise and my prison, you know. Surely you understood that before coming.”

Like his servants, Lerkin also mistakenly assumed someone must have helped Keter enter. It was a reasonable assumption, given that this was the heart of the royal palace, not some deserted countryside.

Keter waved it off. “I didn’t come to ask about things you don’t know, my lord. I came to ask about something I know you do know for sure.”

“Something I know for sure?”

That piqued Lerkin’s curiosity. The suspicion he had felt moments ago was gone. It was understandable, as Keter was incredibly gentle. He was humble, and the shared understanding between them made him seem almost friendly. Anyone he knew outside would have been shocked by such a sudden change in his demeanor, but Keter pulled it off effortlessly.

“And it’s only information that you would know, Duke Lerkin.”

“And what might that be? Go on, tell me,” Lerkin urged.

But Keter only smiled and shook his head.

“I can’t keep you standing in the bath, can I? I’ll wait for you in the dining hall.”

Frustrated yet oddly intrigued, Lerkin barked toward his servants, “Bring me my clothes at once! We’re going to the dining hall!”

There was a spark of excitement in his voice.

* * *

The manor’s kitchen lacked nothing. It would be no exaggeration to say it held every ingredient in the world.

“There’s plenty of ingredients.”

Keter knew that a prestigious noble like Lerkin would take over an hour simply to finish bathing, so he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. The head chef, quick to notice, bowed nervously.

“If you need anything, please tell us,” he said to Keter.

“Get out of the kitchen.”

“Yes, my lord.”

After sending all the cooks out, Keter began cooking at speed.

If Taragon were here, he’d ask why I suddenly started cooking.

A person’s mind could not simply be controlled at will. The mind was influenced by the body. If Keter had casually called Lerkin over and started talking, Lerkin would have been on guard at the sudden appearance of a stranger. He would have felt humiliated at being caught in a situation covering only his groin.

Those heightened emotions would have turned into anger, and his wariness toward Keter would have grown, making it impossible for him to take a liking to the man. However, Keter deliberately created a crisis and then saved him to earn favor from the start. Cooking can serve the same purpose.

When you use your hands, people become lively; spicy, stimulating food makes them bold. No matter how cold someone is, they become impulsive at least for a moment.

Keter hummed as he kneaded the dough. “Most of the world’s problems can be solved with money; those that money can’t fix are solved with force. If money and force fail, food will do the trick.”

That was what his cooking master, Demeter, always told him.

“There are so many good quotes in this world. There is so much to learn and so much to enjoy. It would be great to live like this forever.”

Chop chop chop!

Chopping the pizza toppings with the side of his hand, Keter murmured, “A joyless life makes the pleasures that follow all the more valuable. Just like how a single glass of water after hard work refreshes the soul!”

He didn’t have an oven for baking pizza, but Keter had magic. He used magic to bake the pizza, then checked the liquor cabinet.

“There’s a lot of different ones here, and most of it’s untouched. Seems he doesn’t like alcohol. Ah, let’s see... He’s had a bit of this one. It’s a mild whiskey, smooth on the throat.”

Keter instantly grasped that although Lerkin drank alcohol, he disliked strong liquor. With that in mind, he arranged a variety of drinks and spirits neatly on the table.

“A sincere conversation isn’t complete without a drink.”

Keter remembered the Lerkin he had met in his previous life. Thin and frail then, Lerkin had grabbed a stranger’s sleeve in desperation, pleading to be kidnapped, or even to be killed; he craved freedom.

“All right, it’s late, but I’ll grant that request.”

Just as the table was set, Lerkin, having changed into fresh clothes at a timely moment, arrived in the dining room.

“What is all this?”

Lerkin’s eyes widened at his first-ever sight of pizza.

“It’s called pizza, a dish that’s recently become popular. You eat it with your hands like this.”

Emphasizing that it was recent, Keter demonstrated by taking the first bite.

“T-this is a food that’s trendy outside? It looks unusual, and it looks delicious.”

As Lerkin reached for a piece, the butler intervened.

“I’ll taste it first in case it’s poisoned.”

“Stop that nonsense. Didn’t Sir Keter already try it? Are you blind?”

Annoyed, Lerkin snatched up a slice and put it in his mouth. The chewy, savory cheese and the fresh tomato tang stimulated his palate sharply. The heat from the jalapenos pricked his senses.

“Hohoho, this is a remarkable taste! I could eat this forever!”

“Try this too.”

“Hm?”

Without stopping, Keter pushed a cocktail toward Lerkin. Seeing the beautiful five colors, Lerkin’s eyes widened.

“I’ve never seen a drink with such vibrant colors!”

Thinking it was a juice from its appearance, Lerkin downed the cocktail Keter offered.

“Hmm, wait. It tastes good, but there’s a hint of liquor. Is this alcohol?”

“Yes. Can’t you handle alcohol? If not, I don’t mind drinking it myself.” Keter raised the same cocktail and drank.

There wasn’t a man in the world who could stay quiet after being told he couldn’t handle alcohol, and Lerkin was no exception.

“Can’t drink? This is like water to me. Give me another!”

The potency Lerkin felt drinking the five-colored cocktail was only slightly stronger than beer, but in reality, the cocktail was quite strong; the sweetness and coldness just masked the alcohol.

Keter, who had planned all of this deliberately, grinned. He was now ready to ask his question, which could only make a man feel good in such a tipsy and refreshed state.

“So, Duke Lerkin, I was curious how you charmed Her Majesty the Queen.”

Lerkin’s eyebrows trembled. He’d always wanted to tell someone his tale of glory, but there was no one to listen. It was a secret he was too embarrassed to boast about, even though he longed to share it. Hearing Keter finally ask the very question he’d been dying to be asked his whole life, Lerkin was overcome with near-fainting ecstasy.

“That’s something only I in this world can tell! Now, where to begin... Ah, yes! The first time I met Lillian was when...”

Lerkin launched into his tale like a fish in water, and Keter smiled slyly.

I almost got him.

In this harsh world, one should never trust strangers blindly. But what if they weren’t strangers? What if they were a close friend one had confided their only secret in?

You inevitably listen closely.

Keter had not come simply to ask how Lerkin had seduced Lillian—he had another purpose. However, if he blurted that out immediately, he would never be able to persuade Lerkin.

The quickest path is to go around.

So Keter listened to Lerkin’s boast like a farmer waiting to harvest. Lerkin prattled on for three hours without pause about how he had wooed Lillian.

In summary, he claims Lillian fell for him at first sight...

Keter wasn’t entirely convinced, as tales were prone to exaggeration. Even if parts of it were true, Keter didn’t think Lerkin’s stories contained particularly useful information.

“So, ahem! I’ll tell you, ahem! Although Lillian—ah, I know you may envy me for being able to call her that, but don’t you do the same, ahem!”

Lerkin kept chuckling and clearing his throat; Keter chose not to point it out and only smiled.

“In any case, ahem! I love Lillian! And Lillian loves me! Though she’s locked me away on this uninhabited island, surely that’s because she wants me safe, ahem!”

“Though you live confined here, you said you still trust and love Queen Lillian, didn’t you, Duke Lerkin?”

“Why do you ask something obvious? I... Ahem! I completely trust and love Lillian!”

With Lerkin’s grand boast declared, Keter suddenly struck the table and scolded him. “If that’s the case, then why are you wasting your life here?!”

Having given him enough treats, it was time for the stick.