ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 345: Crazy Human, Scared Assassins ( )

Everyone nearby couldn’t help but stare at Hazuki, who was currently putting on what looked like a full solo performance, bickering, shouting, grabbing his own face, and laughing like a madman.

The dwarves around just shook their heads, chuckling.

"There he goes again."

"Yep, the usual crazy human."

"Best to just ignore it."

Faria leaned closer to Ellyn and whispered, "So... what are we going to do about him, Princess?"

Ellyn followed her gaze, watching Hazuki argue with Ridan inside his own body. A small smile tugged at her lips. "Since Hazuki already said you can rest at our home, I’ll show you the way," she said softly.

Faria smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Our home?" she teased in a low voice.

"Mou! Shut up, Faria!" Ellyn hissed, her ears twitching in embarrassment.

She turned toward Hazuki, who was still trying to wrestle control from Ridan.

"Hazuki... Ridan... I’m going home first!"

Hazuki snapped his head around, and both voices came out of his mouth at once.

"Alright, darling~" (Ridan) 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

"Alright." (Hazuki)

Hazuki’s face twisted. "Oi! She’s not your darling!!"

Ridan’s voice echoed back through his mouth. "Hah! Are you dumb!? I was messing with you, dumbass!"

Ellyn just giggled softly at their usual back-and-forth. Then she glanced to the side at Syaria, who floated nearby with a calm expression.

Using telepathy, Ellyn spoke, Let’s go, Syaria. If we wait for Hazuki and Ridan, who knows how long this will take.

Syaria let out a small, amused hum. Mm~ okay, she replied, glancing at the ridiculous sight of Hazuki fighting with Ridan. They’re hopeless.

Ellyn started walking off together, leaving the chaotic pair behind.

Meanwhile.

In the shadows of a narrow alleyway.

The assassin squad watched in silence as Ellyn, Faria, and their knight escort disappeared down the street. The sounds of market chatter and the occasional dwarf’s hearty laugh drifted through the air, mingling with the steady rhythm of boots on cobblestones.

One of the younger assassins leaned forward, her breath sharp against the cold stone wall.

"We can’t target Princess Ellyna now," she whispered, tension thick in her voice. "Faria’s here. And her elite knight squad is with her. One wrong move and we’re done."

Their leader crouched low, the edge of her cloak brushing against the damp ground. She chewed the pad of her thumb, jaw tight, eyes narrowed on the group that had just passed.

"How about we kill the human first?" another assassin muttered from behind, pointing toward hazuki who was in the middle of one of his infamous "crazy human" fits.

"The pinky-promise partner. Cut him out, and the oath breaks. The princess becomes a prize again."

The leader’s hand froze mid-chew. Her eyes turned cold.

She remembered the report. She’d read it, again and again.

The ones who tried before? They never came back the same. Some disappeared. Others wandered border towns like husks, unable to even recall their names. Tirgan, once the most feared among them, had been confident when he abducted the princess.

And then...nothing.

Only ash.

Her nail dug into her lip.

"No," she said, her voice sharp as a blade. "Do you forget what happened to those who tried? Those who survived couldn’t even remember their own faces. Tirgan was reduced to ash. Is that what you want?"

A cold silence gripped the group. Even the reckless one who spoke dropped her gaze. Just hearing Tirgan’s name was enough to make their blood run cold.

"Junna’s squad lost half their people trying," the leader went on, voice low, eyes flat. "And the ones who made it back? They aren’t themselves anymore."

Uneasy glances passed among them. Hazuki’s loud yelling in the market no longer seemed ridiculous. It felt... dangerous.

The leader inhaled slowly through her nose, then let it out in a steady breath.

"We don’t strike. Not now. Not with Faria here. Not with knights and dwarves watching every alley. We follow them. We observe. And we wait for a real opening, when she’s separated from both the knights... and him."

Her gaze sharpened. A thin, icy smile crept across her lips.

"The pinky promise turned him into her shield. So we won’t fight the shield... we’ll wait until it cracks."

Just as they began to slip out of the alley.

Their eyes widened.

Every hand reached for a weapon, then froze.

"Ay, ay, miss~ mind tellin’ me what you’re all doin’ here?"

A rough voice echoed from the alley’s mouth. A stocky dwarf knight stepped forward, hand resting on his axe hilt, eyes narrowed beneath his iron helm.

"Aye... lookin’ suspicious, aren’t they?" another dwarf muttered, closing in.

From all sides, armored dwarves emerged, elite royal escorts, blades and crossbows at the ready. Their movements were sharp and disciplined. From above, more dwarven sharpshooters appeared on the rooftops, crossbows trained on the shadowed figures below.

The assassin leader stiffened. Her pulse pounded. Front, back, roof, every path was blocked. They were surrounded.

"We’ve done nothing wrong," she said quickly, raising her hands slightly.

"Aye? Really now?" one dwarf slurred, the scent of ale still on his breath. "Don’t look like it to me, lass. Hic~"

"Really! We didn’t do anything wrong!"

Another dwarf stepped forward, his beard bristling. "Or maybe... ye were sent by someone, eh? To slit our Chieftain’s throat before he even reaches town?"

"What?! No! We’re not—"

"Ha! That’s what they all say," the dwarf barked, cutting her off. His crossbow clicked into place.

"Best start explainin’, missy...before me trigger finger gets itchy."

"Why are you suspicious of us!? We didn’t do anything!" the assassin leader snapped, her voice trembling with frustration. "What about those Beastkin knights, huh? Why do they get to walk around freely?"

A nearby dwarf knight scratched his beard, eyeing her with lazy amusement.

"Ay? Ah... ye mean those hot Beastkin lasses, eh?" he said with a half-drunken grin. "They’re here on official business, lass. Royal scroll and all, already cleared through the gates."

He lifted his chin with pride.

"They came to fetch their princess back. Our Chieftain’s already been informed, and he’ll be here soon. So we’ve got our orders...hic~."

He tilted his head, grin widening. "So then... little foxie missy~ mind teeeellin’ us what you lot are doin’ here, skulkin’ in the shadows?"

The assassin leader’s hand twitched toward the blade strapped to her back.

"A-a~ no, ye don’t, missy," another dwarf drawled, raising his crossbow without haste, the tip aimed square at her chest. "How ’bout ye come with us to the office, eh? Just for a wee bit o’ investigation."

From the corners of the alley, more crossbowmen stepped forward. Their weapons pulsed with soft light as they activated mana channels. A low hum filled the air, runes flickering to life across the limbs of each weapon, casting a pale blue glow that bathed the narrow space in cold, magical light.

( End Of Chapter )