ISEKAI? More like I See Crap!-Chapter 55: Innocent Confusion ( )

Just as Hazuki was still shaking his throbbing hand, grumbling at the ring—

A familiar voice called out.

"Uncle?"

"HIIIII!!!"

Hazuki jumped in panic.

His soul nearly left his body.

Ellyn tilted her head.

"Hmm? What’s wrong?"

Hazuki quickly hid his hand behind his back.

"A-Ahhh!! There you are!!"

Ellyn blinked.

"Hmm?"

She looked around, confused.

"Were you... looking for me, Uncle?"

Hazuki froze.

"Wait—NO! I mean... yes—NO! I mean... I was just... uh... "

Ellyn stared at him suspiciously.

Then—

Her eyes glanced at his sword lying on the ground.

Then at his hand, which was twitching behind his back.

Then at his face, which was drenched in nervous sweat.

Her ears twitched.

"...Uncle?"

Hazuki gulped.

"Y-Yeah?"

She grinned mischievously.

"What were you doing just now?"

Hazuki immediately turned away, pretending to admire the sky.

"Oh wow, look at the weather today. So nice. Very peaceful. Haha. Haha."

Ellyn’s grin widened.

"Uncle... were you trying to take off the ring?"

Hazuki instantly stiffened.

"...NO! OF COURSE NOT! WHY WOULD I DO THAT!? HAHAHA!!!"

Ellyn giggled.

"Hmm... if you say so~"

Ellyn smiled sweetly, tilting her head.

"Why don’t you try to take this ring off my hand, Uncle?"

Hazuki blinked.

"Huh?"

She held out her small hand, the ring resting perfectly on her finger.

Hazuki stared at it.

Then, slowly, he reached out.

As his fingers brushed against her hand—

His mind went blank.

"Ooooh... soft... smooth... wait. WAIT. OI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!?"

He shook his head violently, snapping back to reality.

"A-Anyway! L-Let’s just see if this thing actually comes off!"

He gripped the ring and gently tugged—

BOOOOOOOM!!!

A bolt of lightning STRUCK HIM from the sky.

"HIYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Hazuki’s entire body convulsed as sparks flew around him.

His hair stood up like a porcupine.

His limbs twitched.

His mouth opened, but no words came out—just a sizzling noise.

Then—

With a final zap, he collapsed onto the ground, smoking.

Ellyn clasped her hands behind her back, smiling down at him.

"Hmm~ I guess that answers your question, Uncle."

Hazuki lay on the ground, smoke still rising from his body.

His eyes were blank.

His body twitched occasionally.

Then—

Ellyn reached down and grabbed his hand.

With a little grunt, she tried to pull him up.

"Uncle, you’re heavy!"

Hazuki groaned weakly.

"Ughh... I was lighter... before I got zapped..."

Ellyn giggled, still tugging at his arm.

"Hehe, you’re fine~ Just a little fried!"

Hazuki winced as he finally sat up, his entire body aching.

He looked at his hand, then at the ring.

Then back at Ellyn.

Then back at the ring.

"...This thing is seriously cursed."

Ellyn tilted her head, smiling innocently.

"Nope! Just really serious."

Hazuki let out a long, defeated sigh.

Ellyn tilted her head, ears twitching.

"Uncle?"

Hazuki sighed, still recovering from his ’shocking’ experience.

"Hmm?"

"Where are you going?"

Hazuki shrugged.

"I don’t know."

Ellyn narrowed her eyes.

"Then why are you sitting here alone?"

"...Nothing."

"Oh."

A brief silence.

Then—

"So, Uncle?"

Hazuki glanced at her warily.

"Hmm?"

Ellyn smiled sweetly.

"You going to sleep at the stable again?"

Hazuki looked away, scratching his cheek.

"...Maybe."

Ellyn pouted.

"Still saving money?"

Hazuki nodded.

"Yeah..."

Ellyn sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

"You really love that stable, huh?"

Hazuki twitched.

"I DO NOT LOVE THE STABLE! IT’S JUST CHEAP, DAMN IT!!!"

Ellyn giggled.

"Hmm~ if you say so~"

Ellyn smiled innocently.

"Uncle, wanna come to my house?"

Hazuki raised an eyebrow.

"What for?"

"Coffee."

Hazuki froze.

His mind went blank.

His eye twitched.

"...Do you even know what a ’coffee invitation’ means?"

Ellyn blinked.

"Hmm?"

Hazuki groaned, rubbing his temples.

"Haaaa... damn medieval era."

Ellyn tilted her head.

"So... is that a yes?"

Hazuki stared at her.

Then—

He got up and started walking away.

"I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that."

Ellyn pouted.

"Ehhh~? But I really have coffee!"

Hazuki kept walking.

"Not listening!"

Ellyn giggled and followed him.

"Uncle, don’t ignore me~!"

"I’M IGNORING YOU ON PURPOSE!"

Ellyn smiled as she walked beside Hazuki.

Then, casually—

"If you want, you can sleep at my house."

Hazuki immediately stopped in his tracks.

His mind went blank again.

He slowly turned to her, eyes wide.

"Oi! That’s dangerous! What if I was a bad person!?"

Ellyn tilted her head.

"Hmm? But you’re not."

Hazuki facepalmed.

"Ugh! That’s not the point!"

Ellyn blinked.

"Then what’s the point?"

Hazuki groaned.

Ellyn smiled sweetly.

"So, is that a yes?"

Hazuki walked away instantly.

"NO!"

Ellyn giggled and followed him.

"Aww~ But I have a nice bed!"

Hazuki covered his ears.

"NOT LISTENING!"

Ellyn kept grinning.

"You sure~? It’s really comfy!"

Hazuki started running.

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT! PEOPLE WILL MISUNDERSTAND!!!"

Ellyn kept talking, her tone pure and casual.

But—

She had no idea.

No idea that, if she had said these things in Hazuki’s old world...

They would have had a VERY different meaning.

"Uncle, my house is warm, and my bed is really soft!"

Hazuki choked on his own breath.

"STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT!!!"

Ellyn tilted her head.

"Hmm? But it is warm. And soft."

Hazuki covered his face.

Ellyn continued, completely unaware.

"And you don’t have to worry, Uncle! If you sleep over, I’ll even let you—"

"STOP!!!"

Hazuki clutched his head like he was in pain.

Ellyn blinked.

"Uncle? What’s wrong? You’re acting weird."

"I AM NOT ACTING WEIRD! YOU’RE JUST SAYING TOO MANY DANGEROUS THINGS!!!"

Ellyn frowned.

"Dangerous? But I was just saying—"

"NO MORE TALKING! ZIP IT! END OF CONVERSATION!"

Hazuki sped up his walking, desperate to escape.

Ellyn pouted but followed along.

"Hmm... Uncle, you’re so strange sometimes."

Ellyn kept talking, completely unaware of the hidden meanings in her words.

"Uncle, my bed is big enough for both of us—"

Hazuki snapped.

In an instant, he reached out, cupping both of her cheeks firmly.

Ellyn blinked in surprise.

Hazuki stared deep into her confused golden eyes.

Then—

With pure desperation, he spoke:

"Ellyn. Listen to me."

Ellyn tilted her head slightly, her cheeks still in his hands.

"Hmm? What is it, Uncle?"

Hazuki took a deep breath.

"If you were in my old world, EVERYTHING you just said would have a VERY different meaning!!!"

Ellyn blinked again, completely lost.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Hazuki gritted his teeth.

"It sounds like an invitation... to something... FAR MORE DANGEROUS!!!"

Ellyn tilted her head the other way.

"Dangerous? But I was just talking about my house...?"

Hazuki let go of her cheeks and dramatically grabbed his head.

"ARRRGGHHH!!!"

He stood up, pacing in frustration.

"Damn this medieval world! Damn this innocence! DAMN THIS CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE!!!"

Ellyn just watched, completely confused.

Then—

She giggled.

"Uncle, you’re so weird."

Hazuki stopped pacing.

Then collapsed onto the bench, utterly exhausted.

"...I give up."

Ellyn grinned, poking his cheek.

"So, about sleeping over—"

"NOOOOO!!!"

( End of Chapter )