JACKAL AMONG SNAKES-Chapter 608: High-Functioning Self-Destructive Tendencies
Chapter 608: High-Functioning Self-Destructive Tendencies
Who the hell really was Argrave?
It was the answer to that question that had led him to avoiding pursuing S-rank ascension in any detail. He didn抰 like mirrors; he抎 made a point of not checking the bronze one, as a point of fact, to keep him grounded in the here and now. He抎 somewhat dodged the bullet of ascension by taking on Erlebnis knowledge. He had enough information about S-rank ascensions to spend several days perusing the wiki he抎 built, and so didn抰 need to confront his inner self to engrain his consciousness itself with magic. He抎 reached S-rank without it.
Now, it was coming back double. Karmic retribution. Argrave laid back on the unmoving grass, staring up at the clouds in ponderance as they stayed frozen in the blue sky. If his newfound power was linked to who he was, then he finally needed to figure that question out. Honest introspection; this one simple trick had saved countless people years of therapy. It was Argrave抯 turn for it.
Was he like Anneliese? A curious fellow?
Maybe he抎 been so once. He did spend all of his time filling out the wiki in years past. Even though things did draw his attention sometime, his unbridled interest, he couldn抰 fully relate to what she抎 told him. She抎 said that she wasn抰 interested in the wiki in his head. She said she liked the process of discovery. Argrave, though, wasn抰 complaining about his inheritance. He was more than happy to be a nepotistic baby. His power, whatever it was, couldn抰 rest on that.
Was he a jokester? A wiseass?
Even as he thought it, Argrave knew it wasn抰 fully true. He had mellowed out a great deal. Time was he could hardly hold a serious conversation. Much of that was just about not letting on how terrified he was, about staying in control in the face of danger. Anneliese had helped him come to that conclusion. Maybe he wasn抰 as funny as he once was, but that was more a sign that he didn抰 need to cope as much.
Was he some tryhard protector? A champion of Law, god of justice?
Argrave didn抰 like saying so. But looking at it objectively, Lindon himself had said he抎 approached because he抎 demonstrated 憀argesse and benevolence. Fact is, though, Argrave knew he was only benevolent because he didn抰 see the value in excess. If push came to shove, he抎 prioritize his well-being over another抯.
Even as he thought it, the gears in Argrave抯 head met resistance as past memories arose in conflict with his assertion.
揟hen why do you keep doing painful shit? he asked himself aloud, emphasizing his own confusion.
When losing track of something, it was common advice to retrace one抯 steps. Argrave did just that. Upon reflection, he抎 always been a pain-seeking gremlin. Fighting the druids, he抎 ingested the blood of a Winter Nymph. A painful memory. But thinking of blood led him to a deeper revelation; from the beginning, he抎 gravitated toward blood magic. His plan had always been etched with the idea of self-sacrifice. The first thing he抎 made in this world had been his thesis for Blood Infusion. And most recently, he had invited Sataistador抯 fire of chaos inside his body to get what he wanted.
He felt some deep discomfort confronting this notion. Was he one of those people? The notion of Anneliese whipping him in a gimp suit brought him no pleasure, but he couldn抰 deny that there was too much evidence against him to so easily handwave matters. In terms of emotional turmoil, the prospect of Anneliese being hurt alarmed him far more than that of himself. He抎 sooner be stabbed twice than see her suffer one.
Argrave couldn抰 honestly say he抎 prioritize his well-being over another抯, given his damnable track record. If that had been the case, he抎 not have put himself as such risk so quickly trying to stop Veiden抯 invasion. Furthermore, there were other routes梥lower routes, granted, but routes nonetheless梙e might抳e taken for sufficient power to overthrow King Felipe, to cure his body, to stop the plague. He抎 chosen risk of his own volition. And why?
Well, that was the answer. It was just who Argrave was.
It disturbed Argrave a little, accepting that. He supposed no one would like to realize and confront squarely the fact they have self-destructive tendencies. He found the notion incompatible with another trait he knew he had梘reed. He liked fancy clothes, flashy things, good food, and the simple act of gaining something. But in the end, what he抎 done wasn抰 incompatible with his greed. It was an extension of it.
Argrave operated under the principle that he had to give a little to get a little. He抎 given a great deal, but it had all been because he wanted to get something in return. He wanted to keep Anneliese and all of his family. He wanted to keep all the people of his kingdom, and a few others besides, alive. He wanted so damned much梐ll he ever did was want. And to get what he wanted, he抎 given enough to have near the whole damned world at his disposal by this point.
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But that wasn抰 enough. Argrave wanted much more than what he had, even now.
He wanted the Heralds and Traugott done and gone. He wanted the cycle of judgment to end, forevermore. He wanted to make anyone with even the slightest intention of meddling with what was his reduced to ash. He wanted more than a good ending梙e wanted the best ending. Elsewise, from the beginning, he would抳e contented himself with what he knew and never acted in a way that might throw things off.
If he needed to bleed a little more to make his best ending come true, what抯 the damned harm?
As the words rose to Argrave抯 mind, he took a deep breath and let out a sigh tinged with despair. He hoped that he wasn抰 on the money. He certainly wasn抰 eager to bleed for his cause, but time had proven that he generally needed to. He was just too damned greedy. If he wanted everything, he抎 have to give enough to get it.
Argrave turned his head, where the snake remained and watched him passively. 揑f I eat two fruits, do I get a new power? I want a reroll, he complained.
揧ou抳e yet to discover the first, Lindon reminded him.
揑t抎 be a blessing if I was wrong. Maybe my power is stand-up comedy. I say some jokes, and people抯 heads explode. Argrave held his hand up toward the sky, hiding the suns with his fingers.
揋iven how little impact that joke had, it would seem that抯 not the case, Lindon poured ice over Argrave抯 fire immediately.
揑 wasn抰 standing, Argrave protested, sitting up. 揑n hindsight, I should抳e gained an obsession over the passage of time. Or spatial distortions. Those would be prime powers. Man, if I had Raccomen抯 ability厰
揑f we could choose our obsessions, every mortal man would rise to where you have. I would say you have been blessed sufficiently as it is. What more could you want? He added, playing off Argrave抯 thoughts.
揥hat more could I want? Everything. Argrave rose to his feet, then started walking over to where Lindon remained waiting passively. 揑 won抰 hurt you, will I? Breaking free, I mean. There抯 a lot I want for you to do for me, still.
Once again, Argrave felt the glow of amusement radiating outward from Lindon. For a serpent, he had a rather strong sense of humor. Perhaps Argrave had inherited his funny bone from this fellow. But then perhaps not; their relationship was bloodline alone, and Argrave had spent most of his life in another body.
After the glow faded, Lindon goaded, 揟ry your damnedest to hurt me, I implore you. I daresay you couldn抰 even if you wanted to.
揅lench your teeth, then. Because I抣l be going home on foot, while you抣l be leaving in an ambulance.
Argrave held up his hand, then conjured a greatsword of his own blood. He felt the pain despite the mindscape he inhabited. He took the thing firmly in hand and swung it at Lindon. It cleaved through the snake, dissipating it into nothingness.
揝eems that theory failed, Lindon抯 disembodied voice continued to taunt.
Argrave looked around, then studied the greatsword in his hand. 揘ah, he disagreed. 揑 just wasn抰 thinking large-scale enough.
Argrave hefted the weapon on high, craning his whole body and swinging it in a great arc, he cut the entire world in twain. Like a deluge brought by a god, it tore through the ground and sky with such ease it felt as though he wasn抰 swinging at all. He swung it in a great circle, and after, all that remained was darkness.
And in darkness, Argrave again found light.
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Argrave, back in Berendar, stopped midstride. His people walked ahead of him, looking back in confusion. Just as the time before, it seemed no more than a moment had passed.
揥hy抎 you stop? Are you unwell? Elenore asked in concern, then looked to Anneliese to gauge if there was need to be worried.
Anneliese only watched Argrave in confusion. He looked between everyone梙is siblings, his queen, Raven though a lot of his people were missing, he felt it needed to be said.
揂ll of you厰 his fingers pointed to them generally. 揧ou抮e my people. Mine. He tapped his chest.
揥hat are you saying? Elenore walked forward.
揂nd I抦 keeping you. So I don抰 want to hear any complaining about what needs to be done to do that. It抯 just who I am, and I don抰 think I can change that. Argrave looked around, where his city of Blackgard stretched, growing more every day. 揟hose people over there? They抮e mine, too. I抦 a greedy bastard, but it just so happens I抦 also a good person, too. The two aren抰 exclusive. I figured all that out.
Everyone waited for Argrave to continue, questions written on their face.
揑 know how to use my new power, Argrave explained with a sigh. 揑 know what changed. You can thank Lindon for all of that.
揥hat, then? Raven indulged, the least surprised of everyone.
揗y blood magic抯 evolved.
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