Kissing My Student, It's Over if We're Caught-Chapter 1Volume 2 .3 - Takagami Yuzuka - Regrets in Life: Unrequited Love

In the autumn of my second year at university, I ended up going home with Yuzu after a mixer. For me, it was a major event and a special occasion in my life, but for Yuzu, who was quite liberated sexually at the time, that night probably wasn’t anything special from her perspective. We crossed a line, but we weren’t yet lovers.

…However, it’s not that we didn’t become closer.

Yuzu started talking to me during lectures and, if the timing was right, we would exchange messages and have lunch together in the university cafeteria.

Being invited to drinking parties by Yuzu also significantly increased my social circle.

Sometimes, Yuzu would choose me as her companion for the night.

“I’ll teach you about a girl’s body again. We have great chemistry, so it feels really good for me too.”

There were weeks when I was called over about three times, so it definitely wasn’t just lip service.

Yuzu’s body was always immaculate. Perhaps because she never neglected taking care of herself, she always smelled nice and seemed full of vitality.

Though I intended to envelop her with my embrace, I’d find myself enveloped by her soft body before I knew it.

There was a sense of comfort and security.

“Yes, right there… Hehe, you’re good at this. I’m happy when you touch me there.”

“Remember, Gin. A girl’s body is like a treasure trove.”

“There’s always a spot that feels good, so make sure to look for it.”

Yuzu told me we were really compatible.

I hadn’t known anyone but Yuzu, but being with her was fun and made me happy.

“Huh…? Wait, what’s that…? I didn’t even know about that spot… Ahh…”

It was fun to disrupt Yuzu’s composure, who usually had the upper hand, by doing more than what she taught me.

After days when she was thrown off balance, she would always pout.

“Well, it’s okay. It felt good, after all.”

In the end, she would forgive me with a refreshing attitude.

Although we spent many nights enjoying each other’s company like this, we weren’t always glued together.

Being popular, I think Yuzu slept with other men as well (though I never asked directly, so it’s just speculation).

Since I wasn’t Yuzu’s boyfriend, I had no right to restrain her.

Instead, I never refused on days she wanted to spend time with me.

During the three months or so of maintaining this kind of relationship, I realized something.

From listening to Yuzu and her friends, or being called to the same drinking parties, I noticed that Yuzu wouldn’t spend time with other men unless they desired it.

It seemed that I was the only one Yuzu would contact and come to see of her own accord.

She wasn’t actively sleeping around indiscriminately.

—Yuzu smiles a lot, so it’s hard to notice, but if you pay careful attention, you can see she’s quite expressive with her emotions. Having spent a lot of time together, I started to be able to read Yuzu’s thoughts through subtle changes in her expression.

In my opinion, Yuzu was forced into the liberated character by those around her.

“Sleeping with someone isn’t a form of communication unless it’s raw.”

“I also like girls.”

These statements that defined Yuzu’s character were undoubtedly rooted in her true feelings.

However, as these spread, people began to expect certain behaviors from her.

—She’ll let you sleep with her if she feels like it.

Yuzu was always subjected to such raw desires.

She was merely responding to those selfish expectations.

New n𝙤vel chapters are published on novelbuddy.cσ๓.

In fact, she spent more time sleeping with men begrudgingly than not. Yet, being considered liberated, Yuzu continued to meet everyone’s expectations as per the character they demanded of her.

This was somewhat similar to Kirihara’s situation. Kirihara became expected to embody the “serious character” she used as her weapon. Yuzu, on the other hand, had the “liberated character” expected and imposed on her by those around her.

Yuzu was—in secret, suffocated by this situation, perhaps more so than Kirihara.

Unlike Kirihara, Yuzu didn’t choose this path for herself.

The real Yuzu was delicate, always considerate of those around her, read the mood, and even laughed at jokes that weren’t funny, all to ensure everyone else could have a good time.

The root of “Takagami Yuzuka” as a person was, in fact, more serious than anyone else.

That’s why she would come to someone like me when things were unpleasant.

Whenever something bothered Yuzu, she’d visit my room unexpectedly, so I couldn’t slack off on cleaning.

…That night was the same. Yuzu suddenly rang my doorbell, arms full of canned chu-hi she bought from a convenience store.

“I’m tired and just wanted to drink with Gin. Spend some meaningless, unproductive time with me, my prince.”

I wasn’t good with alcohol and didn’t drink much, but I always joined Yuzu when she came over.

Yuzu would laugh cheerfully seeing me get merry from alcohol. We would repeat countless pointless conversations until we ran out of things to talk about, and when we started feeling sleepy… it was time to call it a night.

“Alright, let’s sleep!”

I declared cheerfully in my drunken state and haphazardly prepared the bed. Yuzu naturally slid in next to me, who had laid down first.

In the dark room, with my eyes closed, I was asked uncertainly, “…Hey, is it really okay not to do it?”

It seems that whenever Yuzu came to my room tired, it was just to sleep.

“When I go to other guys’ rooms, they all expect that kind of thing.”

“But Yuzu, you must have times when you’re not in the mood for that, right?”

“…”

“…? Yuzu?”

Yuzu rustled about, removing her clothing.

After stripping down to nothing, she pressed herself against my chest, listening to my heartbeat.

“…I know it’s selfish to ask, but today, I just want to sleep like this.”

The next morning, when I woke up, Yuzu was staring intently at my sleeping face, nestled in my arms.

The atmosphere was different from usual.

As I looked puzzled by her contemplative demeanor, she quietly said, “I have something to tell you.”

“I think I might like Gin… But honestly, I’ve never had a long-lasting relationship with anyone specific, so I’m not confident in my own feelings of ‘liking’ someone. However, whenever I feel out of sync with everyone else and my current feelings, I desperately want to return to Gin. It’s because Gin doesn’t impose himself on me… You reset me, back to myself…”

Even though no one was blaming her, Yuzu spoke as if confessing her sins.

Tears welled up in her eyes, ready to crumble—I had never seen Yuzu so lacking in confidence before.

There were no clothes, no fake smiles, no need to meet anyone’s expectations.

Just Yuzu, bare, weakened, and vulnerable.

“Yesterday, even though I was naked next to you, you still considered my feelings and didn’t touch me, right? I was happy about that. But part of me was scared… maybe you didn’t touch me because you think I’m dirty…”

“Wait a second. Who said that? I’ve never thought of Yuzu as dirty, not even once.”

“…Really? …Do you like me?”

“I couldn’t possibly dislike you.”

“…Have you ever wanted me to be your girlfriend?”

“Countless times. More times than I could count on both hands.”

“…Then, why didn’t you say anything?”

Shame was there, but since Yuzu had opened up first, I had no choice but to speak.

“Yuzu is a beautiful and wonderful woman, and I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. I’d be happy to talk about dating.”

Yuzu’s eyes widened in surprise, and as a result, her tears fell.

“But, there’s just one thing. I’m not doubting Yuzu or anything… and if Yuzu says, ‘Eh, I’m not sure about that,’ we can discuss it and decide, but if we date, there’s just one thing I’d really like to ask for…”

“What is it?” Yuzu asked, looking anxious.

What could it be? The concern was apparent on her face.

Feeling cornered, I revealed my most pathetic side.

“If you’re going to date me, I’d like you not to sleep with anyone else.”

The room fell silent for a few seconds.

Realizing what I meant, Yuzu laughed heartily and then chuckled ruefully.

“I know that. Of course. Even until now, when I’ve had a boyfriend, I haven’t played around. I’ve never slept with someone who’s in a serious relationship or married. It’s absolutely a no-go.”

Relieved, Yuzu seemed genuinely pleased.

On the other hand, feeling idiotic and rude for what I had said, I blushed.

“…Have you been jealous all this time?”

“Well, to some extent…”

Countless times I had thought miserably about clinging to her.

“You’re silly. You should have said something sooner. Then I wouldn’t have had to suffer.”

After saying it half-jokingly, Yuzu’s face returned to the sad expression from before.

“…Sorry. I must have hurt you all this time… That wasn’t good of me… Ah, but I’m sorry. I’m a terrible person. I’m really happy right now, knowing Gin was suffering because of me. Sorry.”

While crying messily, Yuzu hugged me tightly.

“I love you, Gin—at least, right now, in this moment, I can say that with confidence.”

Yuzu, who claimed she’d never lasted more than a month with any man, stayed with me for about a year and a half until we broke up.

I’m grateful that my first lover was Yuzu.

I believe that sentiment will never change for the rest of my life.