Kissing My Student, It's Over if We're Caught-Volume 1 Epilogue 2 - What I want to believe in: Love

Once she had calmed down from crying, I started preparing dinner.

For Kirihara, who had been craving home-cooked meals, I served omelet rice, stuffed bell peppers with meat, and miso soup brimming with vegetables. Kirihara, with her eyes still swollen from crying, quietly devoured everything laid out for her.

“After being so distant for a week… it feels like an explosion, doesn’t it?”

“No, it’s not like that. Even after we got found out, even after we decided to continue tailing, even after we talked things out with Kurei-sensei, I always wanted to be with you, Gin. But I was trying not to get too excited or clingy, worried about getting hurt if things didn’t work out!”

“…I see. So that was it.”

Things started to make sense.

“Shall we play a game after we finish eating?”

“I’ve worked up a sweat, so I’ll take a bath first.”

“Why not soak in the tub for a change? It’ll help relieve the tiredness.”

“…Together?”

“…No.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re both a bit too excited today… I don’t trust myself not to go overboard if I see you naked.”

“Just for today, it should be fine.”

“It’s not fine! I’m still feeling down about going too far when we were drunk!”

“…Then, it’s okay.”

When this topic comes up, Kirihara usually becomes quite docile.

“…You know, Kirihara, we talked about this, but it’s only a year and a half until you graduate. After that, being together won’t be a problem. Let’s just stay as we are until then.”

“Okay. I understand.”

She’s really understanding.

Perhaps all that’s happened has led to a change of heart.

“But, just one thing… Can I be a bit selfish just for today?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“I want to sleep together.”

“Hey now…”

“Not like that! Like when you used my arm as a pillow before… We don’t have to do anything more.”

And so, we ended up sleeping in Kirihara’s bed for the night.

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After taking separate baths, we quickly crawled into the futon.

“Sorry I can’t stay up late to play games.”

“No, it’s fine. You must be tired.”

Kirihara, having my arm as her pillow, kept stroking my body, seemingly finding enjoyment in it.

“…It’s been a while since I came over, but I don’t think I can stay awake for much longer.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well.”

I was already feeling sleepy as I responded, my eyelids heavy.

“…Good night, Gin.”

Kirihara’s voice was incredibly gentle.

Filled with pride and satisfaction, I drifted off to sleep.

＊＊＊

…He must have been really tired.

Just minutes after lying down in bed, Gin had closed his eyes and become motionless.

“Gin? Are you asleep?”

There was no answer.

When Gin falls into a deep sleep, he tends to mumble with his mouth.

It seems he has already entered deep sleep today, mumbling away.

This gesture is childlike and incredibly endearing.

As I lay there with my arm as her pillow, I reach out to the spherical object beside the bed. Turning on the switch, the walls of the room are illuminated with a star map.

It’s an indoor planetarium, not very sophisticated but a favorite of mine.

…A souvenir from the last family trip we took.

Gazing at it alone is soothing, but having Gin by my side makes it a hundred times more effective.

“…Someday, I’d like to see the real thing.”

As I watched Gin sleep comfortably, I reminisced about a certain day.

The first day I visited Gin’s place.

When I tried to seduce him after getting him drunk…

“Kirihara, this is alcohol, isn’t it!?”

“Eh, is it? I thought it was mineral water. Did I get it wrong?”

Of course, that was intentional.

Back then, my feelings for him were overflowing, and I couldn’t help myself.

I wanted to go all the way with Gin and lied. I wanted to keep him by my side, even if it meant using my body. I couldn’t stop myself.

After setting up the futon for him, Gin laid down weakly.

All that was left was to cuddle up and devour him.

A carp on a cutting board would have put up more of a fight than Gin did at that moment, completely defenseless.

“Gin, I’m sorry. But, you know, I… I can’t hold back anymore.”

“…What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly. Hehe.”

Straddling Gin, I peered into his face, feeling uncontrollably happy.

“…Let’s have a lot of fun, Gin.”

But even drunk, Gin was still Gin.

“…No, Kirihara. That’s not right.”

“Why? Do you hate me?”

“No… I love you, more than anything.”

It was my turn to be stunned.

It was the first time Gin had ever spoken so clearly to me.

“Kirihara… you’ve been a savior to me. You’ve consulted with me countless times…”

…?

I didn’t understand. I was the one who consulted him, but why was I the savior? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

“I was so happy… After being trashed at my first job and losing all confidence… wondering if my life had any value… it was only you, Kirihara, who thanked me…”

I didn’t know why Gin had quit his job.

Nor did I know he felt that way about me…

“Though it was tough, the times I spent playing with you were my support… Kirihara, you’re my lifesaver… I want to cherish you.”

“I’m already cherished enough by you. That’s why I want you to have all of me. I want to be your woman.”

“But we can’t… I’m a teacher… If it gets out that we’re involved… It might ruin your life… I don’t want to be a burden…”

Even drunk, Gin’s reasoning was sound.

He had been contemplating this for a long time, allowing him to express his thoughts clearly even in his inebriated state.

“I’m not sure if I’ve fully grown up… You don’t know any better, and you think I’m good just because you’re seeing only me… That’s why I want to wait. Until you become an adult, after seeing many adults… and if you still like me, if you still choose me, then I won’t let anyone else have you… Until then, I want to be with you, as an adult…”

Gin looked at me with moist eyes.

“Even though I failed once and had to change jobs… This time, for sure, I’ll become a proper adult… So I won’t be embarrassed to stand beside you…”

That was Gin’s limit.

He closed his eyes and began to breathe evenly, indicating he was asleep.

His mouth moved mumblingly… and he wouldn’t wake up until morning.

At that moment, I no longer had the desire to seduce Gin. I was incredibly excited and at the same time, immensely happy.

Gin’s words were genuine. He truly cherished me. He was considering my future. More than I had realized, he was enveloping me broadly and deeply…

A twinge hit the back of my nose. Tears didn’t take long to overflow.

A little later, Gin threw up the food he had eaten, but even that became a good memory that made me think, “I’m glad I’m alive.

“…I need to tell you soon that we didn’t do anything that night.”

I was happy that he took our relationship so seriously that I couldn’t say it, but I must tell him.

I had thought all men would quickly make a move if they had the chance.

I thought being touched by him would be proof of his affection… but it wasn’t so.

You taught me that, Gin.

“…Hey, Gin, have you ever thought about it?”

I stroked Gin’s cheek as he slept and whispered to him.

“When Kurei-sensei found out and we had to come back from the trip, I was really scared. I cried a lot alone at home.”

There was no choice but to break up.

To protect Gin, I had to lie.

But it was so hard. Really hard.

Yet, what scared me the most was ruining Gin’s life.

“So, I was trying my best.”

I was relieved when Kurei-sensei agreed to keep our secret, but even after returning home, I still cried.

It was so difficult, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, I desperately wanted to at least play games together… pathetically, I made an unreasonable request again. Sorry.

“Forget it, I have to forget it. It’s tough, but I mustn’t forget it… every night, I tried hard as I cried…”

But he came back to me.

He fought to spend time with me, and now, happiness is here again.

I understand because I lost it once.

This person is dear to me.

“I love you, Sensei.”

I slightly stretched my neck and lightly touched my lips to his

.

“…I’d be happy if you made a move, but oh well.”

But I must endure, endure…

Ah, that’s right, I reached for my smartphone.

I opened the app store and searched for “Countdown.”

“An app to ensure you don’t forget important dates.”

“Counts down the time until the set date and notifies you,” read the app description, and I downloaded it.

I don’t know the exact date of my graduation yet…

So I set it for the end of March, arbitrarily.

The app began ticking away the time.

Even as I lay here, every second brings me closer to the day I can find happiness.

“I hope I can grow up quickly…”

Held by my beloved, I dream of that day.

It’ll be alright.

That moment will surely come.

＊＊＊

The weekend I spent with Kirihara for the first time in a while flew by in the blink of an eye. Sleeping in the same bed, waking up at the same time, playing games together, cooking together, eating together, and then sleeping together again… it really went by in a flash.

On Sunday night, after we had finished our meal, I got ready to head back home.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow then.”

“Yeah…”

Kirihara looked like she was about to cry as she saw me off. I completely understood how she felt. The reluctance to part was mutual.

Kirihara gave me three kisses and four hugs at the entrance before finally letting me go.

We continued to exchange messages on the way home. “I can’t wait for next weekend,” “You have to come,” she sent sweet words. It was a happy exchange.

But tomorrow is a workday. I need to switch gears properly.

I got off the train at the nearest station and headed home.

I climbed the apartment stairs and walked down the corridor.

…I rarely encounter other residents in the hallway. I don’t know why, but it’s rare to see anyone else in the corridor.

But today, there was someone.

Someone was sitting in a school squat in front of my apartment door.

A woman with a short cut, giving off an active vibe. It was night, and she was outside in a tank top and denim shorts… a rather defenseless outfit. The person hugging her legs looked up at me with a vulnerable expression.

…Wait a minute, is this some kind of joke? I froze.

“Ah, Gin! Thank goodness. You finally came back.”

“Yuzu…”

No doubt about it, it was my ex-girlfriend, Yuzuka Takagami.

Yuzu stood up and jogged over to me.

“What are you doing here at this time? And how… I didn’t give you my address, did I?”

“Sorry. I remembered after hearing that Gin moved that I had put a GPS app on your phone back when we were dating. I wrote it down just in case.”

“What!? You looked it up without asking?”

Of course, the GPS app was news to me.

“Sorry, sorry! Don’t be mad. I swear I didn’t misuse it! I only remembered the address just now…”

This conversation was giving me a headache, but for now, I decided to put it aside. I’ve known Yuzu for a long time. I’m well aware that her sense of boundaries can be a bit off. If I worried about it every time, we’d never get anywhere.

“So, what do you want?”

“Well… I’ve been living with my boyfriend, right? But we just broke up, and he kicked me out.”

“…Is that what your ‘I need to talk’ message was about?”

“Yeah. Things got awkward with him, and I wanted to talk to Gin… but you wouldn’t listen.”

Yuzu pouted.

“…I see. That was the situation. My bad.”

Yuzu’s expression immediately brightened. I had a bad feeling about this.

“Really? Do you really feel sorry? Hehe, then, I have a favor to ask.”

With a charming smile and a pleading look, Yuzu clasped her hands together.

“Can I stay over tonight? It’s okay, right?”

tln : the heck author?? really???