Knot me on ice, Captain(BL)-Chapter 82: I want you to touch yourself

Kayden

"Who is she, Kayden?" The question about my mother got my heart pounding hard in my chest, and my body started shaking.

Does he know? Did he read my body language at his grandfather’s birthday party?

My mind was spiraling with so many thoughts of what I could come up with—things I could say about my mother, the woman he knew and hated.

But as if Rhys could feel the vibration of my body against his, he spoke up. "A sensitive topic, too?"

I nodded slowly.

"That’s fine. I won’t push you to answer, and I’ll rule out the punishments for this one, too, because..."

"I met her recently," I cut him off, revealing some parts of the truth. I didn’t know why I was telling him, but he seemed like he wanted to know—wanted to figure out everything about me, as if he wanted more from me than just this.

Rhys pulled away from me again and moved to my front. "It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me. I am not going to force you and—"

"I met her recently," I continued, letting him know that he was not forcing me and that I chose to say it.

"And you recognized her?"

I nodded.

"Did she recognize you?"

Yes, she is Linda, your stepmother. I wanted to say that out loud, to let him know that we both had the same enemy. But instead, I let out an exasperated breath and shook my head.

"No," I whispered. "She left after I was born."

A dark, sharp scowl formed on Rhys’s face. The protective instinct of his True Alpha nature radiated off him in waves that turned the steam around us even more oppressive. He looked like he wanted to hunt someone down on my behalf.

"I am sorry, but your mother is a disgrace," he spat, his eyes locking onto mine with fierce intensity. "To have a son like you—someone who has fought through everything you have—and not even see him? Why did she leave in the first place? What would make her leave her baby?"

"My father said she wanted an Alpha baby, but got an Omega instead."

Rhys’s eyes widened, and he let out a scoff. "Isn’t she an Omega? The biology is tricky sometimes, but that doesn’t mean she should abandon you! You didn’t do anything wrong." He let out a frustrated groan.

"She doesn’t deserve to be a mother! She doesn’t deserve that title, Kayden," he said as he pulled me tighter, wrapping his hand around my waist. "Don’t act as if you know her. If you are waiting for some kind of maternal redemption, don’t. A woman who leaves her child to be raised by a man like your father is a coward. You don’t owe her a single second of your thoughts."

Rhys’s words sounded harsh—not toward me, but toward my estranged mother.

I wanted so badly to tell him that it was the very woman he hated, but not yet. Until I confronted Linda, until I found out the true reason why she left me—not just what my father told me—it was going to be my little secret.

"Forget her," Rhys murmured as he leaned closer until I could feel his breath fanning my lips. "Both of them don’t deserve you at all," he told me, placing his forehead against mine. 𝕗𝗿𝕖𝐞𝐰𝗲𝕓𝐧𝕠𝕧𝗲𝐥.𝚌𝐨𝚖

For a moment, there was silence. I wanted to reach out and touch his face, but I didn’t. We just stared at each other with unspoken words until he pulled away again.

"Last question, Kayden," Rhys broke the silence. "Are you going to keep doing it?" he asked, his voice losing its edge and turning into something heavier, more somber. "Continuing to pump those chemicals into your system just to play?"

I let out a hollow, defensive breath and nodded in response. "I enjoy being on the ice."

Why the hell was he acting as if he cared?

"I know," he continued without waiting for my answer. "I know I say things out of turn," he admitted, the confession sounding like it was being pulled out of him by force. "I am not perfect. I’m not good. I might never be ’good’ in the way people want me to be. But I hate hurting the people who are close to me." He let out a sigh as he looked at me, his eyes searching mine for answers, and when he found none, he spoke again. "I shouldn’t have judged you the way I did, because I didn’t know the cost you were paying. I tend to judge people due to my upbringing, and I hate that about myself, Kayden. I am sorry." He lowered his head as he apologized.

I said nothing and just stared at him. That was the umpteenth time he had said sorry to me after using his words to make me feel less of myself. The air around us shifted, and I felt a lump form in my throat when he touched my face.

"Kayden, I want to be better. I don’t want to be known as a jerk, especially to you. I want to..." He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "I sound stupid."

"Yes, you do," I finally spoke up. "But I understand you, Rhys. Your childhood trauma made you this way, but I know you are better than this. I see the good in you."

Rhys placed his head on my shoulder and breathed. "I am not all that perfect, but... I want to be, for you."

"Rhys," I called.

"Uhm?" he responded, his face still buried in my shoulder.

"What are we, Rhys?" I whispered. I felt his body go rigid. "You don’t have to say anything and—"

"I want to." He raised his head and cupped my face. "Right now, I see us as fuck buddies," he said, and I frowned.

That was all I was to him? A fuck buddy?

"But I want us to be more. I care about you, Kayden. More than I probably should. I don’t know the direction we are going, but I just want to be with you."

I sighed, placing a hand on his back. A small, almost guarded smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He didn’t give me the fairytale answer, but then again, Rhys wasn’t built for fairytales, and if he had said something else, I wouldn’t have believed him.

"But I like you, and I want to protect you, both here and on the ice, Kayden." He brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "And it might get harsh. My methods might look bad to you, but if you want to keep playing on the ice, you have to follow my rules," he told me. Then he leaned in, his lips grazing the shell of my ear, his voice dropping to a dangerous, velvety whisper that sent a violent shiver down my spine.

"Now that we have made up, there is something I want to see."

"What... what is that?" My voice sounded small as I spoke. I felt so small with his huge frame looming over me.

"I have been wanting to see the look on your face when you touch yourself. And I want to see it right now, Kayden. Touch your cock!"

My body shuddered at his command. My breath hitched as his hands left my face, and his blue eyes locked onto mine—waiting and hungry.

"I want you to sit at the edge of the pool when you do it, Kayden," he added.