Life is Easier If You're Handsome-Chapter 279
Gotham.
A city where the stench of steam seeps up from the ground.
A city where a somber jazz tune constantly lingers in the air of some vast, dim bar.
People move their shoulders in slow sync with the melody, never bothering to glance up at the sky that will never brighten.
Instead, they keep their gaze low, dodging puddles of damp filth underfoot.
And yet—
After the long night fades, in hope of the dawn that will someday return,
Gotham endures the heavy moonlight again tonight.
“What are you staring at so intently, sir?”
“Alfred.”
“I understand that solitude can be comforting, but I worry it may drift into loneliness.”
“Did you come to nag me again?”
“The Wayne line must continue, after all.”
I frowned at Alfred’s words.
How many times had he said that now?
Too many to count—so I just nodded vaguely.
“Alright, alright. Like you said, if I meet someone good, I’ll try to make something of it. That good enough for you?”
“You say that, and yet you never let anyone close.”
“It’s hard enough protecting what I already have. You want me to add more?”
Shff.
I pulled the curtain closed to block out the moonlight that seemed to be peeking in.
“Even so, a partner in life is always something worth having.”
“Well, I’ve got you, don’t I?”
“Ha! I’m honored to hear that, but...”
I'm far too old, and we both know that’s not what you meant.
So much for brushing it off.
Alfred clearly wanted a straight answer this time.
As if to say:
“So, what, you want me to attend that social gathering?”
One of those parties for the young and rich to flaunt how well they live.
I had no desire to discuss that.
“It’s a good opportunity, is it not?”
“The Wayne bloodline has been tainted since the day two billionaires adopted an abandoned Asian kid from an orphanage.”
I came back hard.
And immediately regretted saying it.
“They wouldn’t see it that way.”
“Yeah, I know... I know too damn well.”
I could see myself reflected in Alfred’s eyes.
A kid who knew nothing, holding cotton candy ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ in his mouth.
A child who ran down dark alleys to prove how brave he was.
Naïve. Foolish. Innocent.
“Sir.”
“Alright, fine. I’ll go. I’ll go to that place where a bunch of idiots show off their parents’ money and luxury brands.”
I waved a hand to chase away that version of myself. I didn’t want to see him anymore.
“What’s on the schedule for tomorrow?”
“There’s an event in the afternoon related to the orphanage.”
Which means my morning is free.
As I stepped forward, Alfred followed without needing any prompting.
“What’s the status of the suit?”
“Everything you asked for is ready.”
“Thanks, always.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
Step. Step.
A few more steps—and the study split open, revealing the hidden elevator.
Whirrr.
There’s only one button.
There’s only one destination anyway.
Screeeech. THUNK.
As the elevator clunked to a stop—
FWOOOSH!
Bats, startled by the noise, burst from the cave in a flurry of wings.
Alfred walked naturally to the wall of monitors, like he’d done it a thousand times.
“Where are we tonight?”
“The same place as always.”
“East End. Bowery.”
“Correct.”
“How boring.”
Few words. Fast movements.
Without hesitation, I slid into the Batpod.
No roaring exhaust.
Just silence. Smooth and steady.
“Have a good night, sir.”
“You too, Alfred.”
As the black cowl lowered over my head, I severed the chains that bound me—the orphaned Asian boy with no past.
Vrrrroooom.
The Batpod shot down the tunnel, the cold air of the night wrapping around my body—carrying with it the stench of Gotham’s foul steam.
All of it—makes me again.
Vengeance.
Midnight.
And—
A masked executioner.
All of it merges into a single word.
Batman.
My true name.
Settling deep into the darkness.
***
FWOOOSH!
The darkness lifted, and the world snapped back into place.
“...Huh.”
As soon as I snapped out of the immersion, only one thought crossed my mind:
This is just a draft?
And it was only a tiny piece.
Just the opening, really.
But even so, I understood exactly why this script was rated S+.
And more than that—
They said they’ve got another surprise script ready, right?
DC Studios was planning something massive.
And they were on their way to Korea to show it to me personally.
There was no way I wouldn’t be hyped.
Warner Bros. is apparently all-in on me too.
If this kept going, something huge was definitely going to come from it.
The only question left was—who would play the Joker?
Chances were, that too was part of their so-called “massive plan.”
And Catwoman... wait, is she not in this one?
I wasn’t sure.
All I had was the draft so far.
But one thing was clear—this Batman would be fully Asian.
They’d even gone so far as to write in the adoption setup just to center the story around me. It was a full-on stage built for me.
Meanwhile—
Does Marvel just hate me or something?
<???, F>
This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.
Marvel sent me something so pitiful, they hadn’t even settled on a title.
Was this even a script? It was hard to tell.
It was so awful, I couldn’t even get immersed.
The only thing remotely interesting was the fact that they even had an “F-tier” script.
The role was just a side character—and not even a good one. The character itself was a joke.
“Come on, I’m way past playing someone’s sidekick.”
Because of this, I had no plans to accept any offers from Marvel or Disney for the time being.
No matter what role they threw at me, no matter how they rewrote the script,
Sorry, but I’ve got pride too.
And a whole lot of people walking behind me now.
Taking a role like that and pretending to be grateful—those days were long gone.
“Confirm Batman.”
“Huh? You’re sure?”
“Yeah. Just from the opening, I can already feel it.”
“Oh, yeah? You’ve got a good feeling about this one?”
It was the first time in my life I’d ever received a script rated S+.
Honestly, I couldn’t even begin to predict how big this could get.
But—
“Of course.”
Even if I didn’t know how high it could go,
I did know the floor.
And because I knew the standard for an S-tier script,
I gave a confident smile.
“Great. I’ll confirm it then. Contract terms were actually insane.”
“Yeah?”
“Seriously. I was shocked. I didn’t know there was a better deal than Tarzan, but... apparently, there is.”
I didn’t really know much about those kinds of contracts, so I usually just nodded along when Seokho hyung said something was good.
“Oh right—are you going to shoot a reaction video for Physical 300, too?”
“Isn’t that still a while away?”
“Yeah, but the reaction to the Pianist video was so crazy... Netflix is kind of hoping you’ll do one.”
The Pianist reaction video had passed 10 million views in a single day.
And the number of spin-off YouTube clips made from it? Countless.
From Disney Plus’s perspective, it was like they’d won the PR lottery without lifting a finger.
So it made sense that Netflix would want a similar piece of the pie.
“We’ve had a ton of PPL offers. Honestly, it’s kind of wild.”
“Tell them we’ll do it. Just handle the sponsors carefully, okay?”
“You’re open to PPLs? I’ll sort it out if you’re serious.”
“If there are offers from Ilyang Food, FJ, Redhorn, Adihes... prioritize the ones from my current sponsors.”
They’d been supporting me for a long time.
I was definitely going to give them priority.
“Got it.”
Seokho hyung nodded, and we updated the schedule immediately.
Originally, the plan was to do some Korean variety and radio shows.
But YouTube turned out to be a faster way to connect with people—and a much more effective platform than TV.
Sure, going on TV now and then would still be good,
But right now, I didn’t feel the need.
“Oh, Seokho hyung. Actually, I’ll do just one show.”
“Huh? Weren’t you not going to do any?”
“That was the plan, but this one... I’m tempted.”
I used to watch it all the time.
And since The Pianist had so many food scenes anyway, why not tie it all together and give it a go?
“I’ll appear on this one.”
“Okay, I’ll lock it in!”
***
With The Pianist airing steadily on Disney Plus, it had officially become a global trend.
People everywhere were talking about Kim Donghu.
And with each mention, views on his Pianist reaction video climbed even higher.
At the same time, people became more and more curious about him.
It was like a thirst they couldn’t quench.
“There are already a couple of daily vlogs out, right?”
“Still feels like not enough.”
These days, every celebrity had their own channel—and used it to promote themselves nonstop.
It was how they kept their presence alive.
But Kim Donghu didn’t do that.
He still spoke through his work.
Which wasn’t a bad thing—
But—
“When’s Kim Donghu coming back to Rushman?”
“What about Please Take Care of My Fridge?”
“Just... anything! Show up on something!”
“He did a prank on Japanese variety, right? Come on, do Korean stuff too!”
The lack of appearances didn’t mean people weren’t dying to see him.
Because Donghu was good on variety.
He was so good, in fact, that the Rushman episode he starred in still had the highest YouTube views of the series.
His variety show power was on another level.
Which left broadcast stations constantly wondering:
How the hell do we get him to show up?
But then—
“Is this for real?”
“Yes!”
“He’s actually coming on our show? Kim Donghu?”
“Seriously?”
“I’m telling you—yes!”
Out of nowhere, one lucky program had been chosen by Kim Donghu himself.
“...Why though?”
“Maybe he just really likes food?”
“Uh... maybe?”
The show he picked was none other than the legendary long-running food program:
Tasty Guys.
