Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 107: "Xu Su, Am I That Terrible?
For a long while, Zhou Mochen stared silently at the furious girl. Suppressing the dark, insane thoughts that flooded his mind, he kissed her cheek, then slowly stood up straight.
When he spoke again, his voice was calm. "No one is denying that you’re an independent person, Xu Su. If you’re willing, I can be yours, too. Yours and yours alone."
Xu Su: "..."
’Thanks, but no thanks.’
The reluctance written all over the girl’s face made Zhou Mochen’s heart ache.
’I really want to lock her up. She can cry, she can throw a fit—I wouldn’t care, as long as she’s by my side.’
’As long as she stays by my side forever, does it really matter if she’s willing or not?’
...
But in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The moment she cried, he just couldn’t bear it.
’Is that why she’s so fearless? Because she knows I can’t bear to see her suffer?’
Zhou Mochen didn’t understand why, no matter what he did, this young woman always seemed to resist him, even though their relationship had clearly softened over the summer break.
Why had it become like this again?
"Xu Su, am I really that terrible?"
Zhou Mochen’s voice was hoarse. "Tell me what you don’t like about me, and I’ll change it, okay? I’ve been trying to change."
Xu Su lowered her head, silent.
’He really had changed a lot. At least he wasn’t as tyrannical as he’d been at the start. He listened to her; when she told him not to interfere in matters at her school, he stayed out of it.’
’When she told him not to appear before her grandmother and uncles, he had only come once in the middle of the night.’
’Given Zhou Mochen’s paranoia, the kind that made him go crazy if he didn’t see her for a few days, he had somehow managed to endure over twenty days without seeing her this time.’
But this wasn’t what Xu Su wanted.
What Xu Su wanted was freedom, equality, and the ability to make her own choices, free from coercion and force.
The pressure from Zhou Mochen was too intense. It was so overwhelming that it repulsed Xu Su and made her want to flee.
Yet, everything from her past life made her wary. She didn’t dare provoke him completely, but she was even less capable of accepting him willingly.
After a long silence, Xu Su glanced at the time again. "I have to get back to class."
Zhou Mochen scoffed. "And once you’re back, how long do you plan to ignore me? A month? Two?"
She looked up and met the man’s pitch-black eyes, which were filled with scorn.
"My workload has gotten heavier since starting my second year," Xu Su explained calmly. "And now I have the competition, so I really can’t come out to see you often. Zhou Mochen, don’t pressure me so much. I’ve told you before—no girl likes being forced."
The stalemate held until Zhou Mochen was the one to back down. Concealing his anxiety, he relented, "Just don’t be so cold to me, Xu Su. I can tell whether you’re ignoring me because you’re busy with schoolwork or for other reasons."
He reached out, pulling her into an embrace, and asked in a low voice, "Xu Su, tell me. What did I do to upset you this time?"
Her attitude was a complete one-eighty from how she’d acted during summer break. He truly couldn’t figure out why.
Xu Su pursed her lips. ’Of course I know my attitude is unfair. None of the things from my past life have happened in this one. I shouldn’t hold this Zhou Mochen accountable for them.’
’But I can’t. Weren’t the wrongs of a past life still wrongs? I can’t let it go.’
’Especially when he acts all dictatorial and controlling. It just disgusts me.’
’A leopard can’t change its spots. At his core, the man is an obsessive psycho. I’ve tried to reform him for a year, but it hasn’t changed much.’
Xu Su was silent for a long time. She didn’t answer, only saying, "Zhou Mochen, I really have to go back."
~~~
In the end, their meeting ended on a sour note.
When she wasn’t studying, all Xu Su could think about was how to escape Zhou Mochen’s control.
She couldn’t think of a way.
She didn’t dare infuriate him, but she was also unwilling to be shackled to his side like she was in her past life.
Every time Xu Su thought of Zhou Mochen, she felt suffocated.
A week later, in the competition prep class, Teacher Wu announced the results of the preliminary round.
Out of the nineteen students, only five advanced to the second round. Fourteen had been eliminated.
Looking at the now half-empty classroom, Teacher Wu didn’t seem displeased. He said, "Xi Zirong got a perfect score, tying for first in the city with Qiu Cheng from Experimental Middle School and Fan Wenhua from No. 16 High."
Mr. Song, standing nearby, beamed. "It’s been years since our school has had a student get a perfect score in this competition. Of course, the rest of you who passed the preliminary round are also incredible. You have a chance to go even further, so give it your all in the second round. Seize this opportunity to get into the provincial team."
Among the five students who advanced to the second round, three were from the "Rocket Class." Besides Xu Su and Xi Zirong, the discipline monitor, Fu Jun, also passed.
The other two were one student each from Class 13 and Class 16.
The news spread throughout the school the very next day, especially the part about Xi Zirong getting a perfect score.
While it was common for him to get perfect scores on regular exams, this was a competition. The questions were much harder than any normal test, and only three students in the entire city had managed a perfect score.
Furthermore, their school wasn’t particularly known for its performance in academic competitions, so producing a student with a perfect score was a wonderful surprise.
If God Xi could maintain a perfect score in the second round, he would be a shoo-in for the provincial team, able to represent them in the national finals.
And if he went even further—making it onto the national training team to represent the country in the International Olympiad—he wouldn’t just be bringing glory to the school, but to the entire nation.
If anyone from City No.1 High School had a real shot at going all the way, it was undoubtedly Xi Zirong.
Many first-year math teachers spoke of Xi Zirong in class with tones of deep admiration. "All of you need to study hard. When next year comes, you too can enter the competition and bring glory to our school."
The first-year students: "..."
’We’ll definitely enter the competition, but bringing glory to the school? That’s another story.’
’A study god like Xi Zirong only comes around once in a blue moon at First High School.’
The school placed great importance on the upcoming second round, and the two supervising teachers began assigning a new round of training exercises to the remaining students.
The pressure on the students mounted.
Fu Jun let out a sigh. "If I pass the second round, I’m not even aiming for the provincial team. A second-place prize would be good enough. Heck, even a third-place prize would be fine."
He had little confidence in his own abilities. Making the provincial team was completely off his radar; his highest aspiration was to win a second-place prize in the N Province Math Competition.
A provincial first-place prize added twenty points to one’s college entrance exam score, a second-place prize added fifteen, and a third-place prize added ten.
Even a third-place prize was worth it. After all, a few extra points on the college entrance exam were still points.
Fu Jun’s sentiment was shared by the other members of the competition class.
The students who had been eliminated weren’t too upset. In fact, getting knocked out early was a clean break, allowing them to focus all their energy on preparing for the college entrance exam.
With the exception of Xi Zirong, no one was confident about making the provincial team, let alone securing a spot in the national finals. They were content with using the competition to snag a few extra points for the college entrance exam. As for earning direct admission to a university, that was just a pipe dream.
Xu Su felt the same way.
’As long as I can pass the second round,’ she thought, ’a second-place prize will be enough.’
During the evening competition prep class, Xi Zirong also brought up the topic.
