Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 128: You Don’t Know How Much I Mind These Things
It gets dark early in the winter. Though the evening self-study session hadn’t begun, the sky was already dim. Xi Zirong leaned against the long bench, his head tilted to the side, his expression unreadable. He reached out to pull Xu Su over and decided to apologize. "I’m sorry. It was my fault."
The boy’s voice was a little hoarse and tentative.
Xu Su: "..."
’This guy really knows how to make me go soft...’
Xu Su was silent for a good while before sitting back down. Letting him hold her hand, she explained softly, "If it were up to me, I would have waited until after graduation to tell him. Xi Zirong, I don’t want this to become school-wide gossip. It’s not something I want everyone talking about."
"Mm, graduation is still over a year away," Xi Zirong replied, then asked calmly, "What if he keeps harassing you for that entire year?"
Xu Su already had a plan. "I’m living in the dorms now, so I can go for months without seeing him," she said. "Xi Zirong, he already promised me this afternoon that he won’t show up at school anymore. So all I need to do is focus on my studies, and then, after the college entrance exams, I’ll make things crystal clear with him."
’As long as Zhou Mochen didn’t show up at school, she could have some peace. Since they wouldn’t be seeing each other, she could just reply to his messages occasionally to placate him. Everything else could wait until after graduation.’
In truth, Xu Su was deeply afraid of Zhou Mochen. But since she had chosen to be with Xi Zirong, a confrontation was inevitable. She had been prepared for this possibility from the day she agreed to be his girlfriend.
However, no matter what, Xu Su just wanted to postpone that confrontation for as long as possible.
’Call her an ostrich burying her head in the sand; she didn’t care. Every day she could delay it was a victory.’
"He promised you he wouldn’t show up at school?" Xi Zirong chuckled softly. "So what did you promise him in return to get him to agree not to bother you here?"
’He’s so perceptive.’ Xu Su felt a little helpless. ’My boyfriend is too smart...’
She decided to come clean. "You know how I blocked him before? Well, I unblocked him. I promised to reply to his messages occasionally. That’s it."
"That’s it..." Xi Zirong repeated slowly. He rubbed his temples, seeming to have a headache.
Then, his tone turned serious. "Susu, what if I said that I really mind you messaging him back?"
"..." Xu Su was taken aback.
She was at a loss. "Then what do you want me to do? Settle things with him right now? I told you, after I was sure about my feelings for you, I made it perfectly clear to him. I told him I don’t like him, that I can’t stand him, and that he should stay far away from me. But it’s no use! You saw it yourself—he still came to school to find me."
Xu Su said, "The only thing keeping him from coming to school is me occasionally messaging him back. Xi Zirong, what do you expect me to do? I really don’t want this to blow up and have the whole school find out. If he shows up here a couple more times, people will figure out we’re together."
’Xu Su’s head throbbed. For the first time, she started to wonder if she’d been too rash in agreeing to date Xi Zirong, especially knowing how obsessive Zhou Mochen was...’
’Now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. What should I do?’
’She suddenly remembered the way Zhou Mochen’s eyes had reddened that afternoon. If he found out she was already with someone else...’ 𝐟𝕣𝗲𝕖𝕨𝗲𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝗲𝚕.𝗰𝚘𝐦
Sensing Xu Su’s hesitation, Xi Zirong squeezed her hand and said firmly, "Don’t be afraid of him, Susu. I’m your boyfriend. I can’t let my girlfriend text other men back, not even to humor them. You know this about me. I’m very petty."
He continued, "You’re worried about the whole school finding out he’s harassing you? Then let’s handle it off-campus. Susu, he seems like a proud person to me. Since you like me now, if he has any self-respect, he won’t keep bothering you."
Xi Zirong had met Zhou Mochen before, and even that brief encounter had left a deep impression on him.
In Xi Zirong’s estimation, the man was aloof, proud, and outstanding. He believed a man like that wouldn’t harass a girl who was already taken. Rather than give him false hope by messaging him back occasionally, it was better to be direct.
His reasoning left Xu Su speechless. After a long pause, she gave a hollow laugh. ’I really don’t know what to say...’
’Xi Zirong has no idea how obsessive Zhou Mochen is...’
’In Zhou Mochen’s eyes, what was a little dignity compared to having Xu Su?’
Xu Su glanced at her watch. They had been talking for too long; evening self-study was starting in less than ten minutes. She stood up abruptly and changed the subject. "Let’s head to class first. Xi Zirong, you don’t really know him. Let’s talk about this some other time."
Xi Zirong grabbed her, stubbornly demanding an answer. "Running away from the problem won’t solve anything. Tell me, what’s your plan to handle him? Are you really going to wait until after graduation?"
The sky was completely dark now. Having been interrogated by him for so long, Xu Su felt completely overwhelmed.
Seeing that it was pitch-black all around them, she threw caution to the wind. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Xi Zirong’s neck. The boy froze for a second, then quickly obliged by lowering his head.
Xu Su pressed her face against his neck, nuzzling him before she spoke. "If you’re worried he’ll snatch me away, then just keep a closer eye on me. Xi Zirong, I give you permission to watch over me. You can be more confident. When I had to choose between the two of you, I didn’t choose him. Now that we’re together, there’s no way I’ll let him sweet-talk me into leaving."
’Both of them were incredibly smart, but Xu Su was no fool. She knew what was really bothering Xi Zirong.’
’Xi Zirong wanted Xu Su to tell all her suitors that she was taken, cementing his status as her boyfriend.’
Xu Su’s direct and heartfelt reassurance worked. Xi Zirong wrapped one arm around her waist and placed his other hand on the back of her head, trying to pull her even closer. He spoke softly, "You let him hug you. Susu, he hugged you."
The boy’s voice was husky and aggrieved, with an almost pleading tone that made Xu Su feel terribly wronged.
She nuzzled his neck again, continuing to placate him. "It’s true he hugged me, but it’s not like I let him. Didn’t you hug me by force before, too? He was doing the same thing you did."
’Xu Su pouted. To be honest, Xi Zirong used to be just as clingy, acting all pitiful in front of her now and then until she somehow caved.’
’Looking back, Xu Su wasn’t even sure how she had started to like Xi Zirong. It really seemed to have all begun with her heart softening toward him.’
’Once her heart started to soften and she found she couldn’t reject him outright, the clever boy had gradually closed the distance between them, until agreeing to be with him felt like the most natural thing in the world.’
’But in the very beginning, he had forced hugs on her, too.’
This reminder made Xi Zirong recall his own past actions, and his tone immediately lost its righteous edge. He turned his head away and paused before speaking again. "Don’t meet him alone anymore. And don’t let anyone else hug you, either. Susu, you don’t know how much that stuff bothers me."
Xu Su was anxious to get back to the classroom. She patted Xi Zirong’s shoulder and said breezily, "Okay, I promise. Now let go, Xi Zirong. We’re going to be late."
Xi Zirong seemed genuinely upset. Unwilling to let go, he asked in a wheedling tone, "What if we skip class? I just want to keep holding you."
