Love Affairs in Melbourne-Chapter 68 - 65: Love That Is Too Heavy (Extra for the first league of readers @Chasing Light Years in the Stars)
Chapter 68: Chapter 65: Love That Is Too Heavy (Extra for the first league of readers @Chasing Light Years in the Stars)
In the previous generation, there were many couples who had no sense of self, only their children.
Parents in China often say that everything they do is "for the children" or "as long as the children are fine, it doesn’t matter how we, the adults, fare."
Then, because they only have eyes for their children, some people completely neglect their other halves after having kids, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the family relationship.
If they come to realize this in time, that’s still not too bad.
What’s more exaggerated is that after the breakdown of the marital relationship, many mothers place all their hopes on their children.
What they say most often every day is, "I’m doing this for your own good."
They can never let go of their "hopes" for themselves.
They treat their children as their possessions, dictating what schools to attend, what jobs to find, and even who to date, all according to their own wishes.
These mothers reason very simply: Because I have given up everything for you, money, youth, and even my marriage, you were born to me, raised by me, so you must listen to me in everything.
Such sacrifice is less a form of love and more a form of moral hijacking.
Many people agree that Chinese are more human than foreigners.
But what is humanity?
Some people hear that, abroad, some parents completely let go of their children after they turn 18, and conclude that Chinese parents love their children more than foreign parents do.
This statement is also debatable.
Selfless love should seek no reward. The common Chinese saying of "raising children for old age support," fundamentally, does not belong to the category of selflessness.
For the generation of only children, they will have at least four elders to care for above them and still need to provide for two kids below them.
If all four elders have not made proper plans for their old age and place their hopes on the family’s "only seed,"
Then this seed will surely not be able to grow well.
Parents in middle age who lack a sense of self can easily become parasitic on their children’s lives.
These people, by controlling the children’s lives, try to achieve their own unrealized ideals and face the future they are afraid to confront.
Such love is too heavy.
Abroad, parents first feel that since they decided to have children, they are obliged to raise them until they are eighteen.
At the same time, these parents also believe that their eighteen years of giving does not require any reward.
A part of these people also reason very simply, parents did not receive consent from their children when deciding to have them.
Having children is the parents’ choice and raising them is the parents’ duty.
When a child turns eighteen and gains an independent character, the child should have their own choices.
Children need not be responsible for their parents in old age. Parents will not live frugally to give their all in planning their children’s future.
After adulthood, whether the development of the child’s future is good or bad, is their own choice.
You are you, I am I, between you and me, there is always a boundary.
The creation of such a boundary is an inevitable result of social development.
Of course, in countries like Australia and Northern Europe with their welfare systems, you don’t often see situations where the elderly have no one to rely on.
In today’s age, humanity should be considered a neutral term, not always a positive one.
Just as city dwellers lack the humanity of country people, it is also an inevitable result of social development.
......
"I’ve finished talking," Qi Yi said, seeing Yan Yan’s lack of response, and took the initiative to speak again.
"Qi Yi, I don’t know how to comfort you about what you’ve talked about today," Yan Yan, after listening to Qi Yi describe the family crisis that happened last night, was a bit unsure of how to respond.
Yan Yan was very good at helping Qi Yi deal with the psychological troubles of his gains and losses.
But what Qi Yi had just mentioned about his parents’ relationship issues were ones Yan Yan had never faced before.
Yan Yan now realized why Qi Yi had never brought up his family.
"You don’t need to comfort me. I think this might have been the most relaxed year I’ve had in a decade," Qi Yi shared his current feelings with Yan Yan.
"Are you serious?" Yan Yan asked Qi Yi for confirmation. ƒгeewebnovёl.com
Yan Yan could actually feel that Qi Yi was serious, but she still didn’t quite understand his words, the voice so weary, how could it belong to someone who had a relaxed year?
"Yeah, I’m serious," Qi Yi affirmed his previous statement.
"Then... why is that?" Yan Yan asked.
"Using responsibility or a child to tie two people who don’t love each other together is a kind of torture and doesn’t bring a sense of happiness to those around them.
My mom thought she did everything she could to give me a complete family, but how can a home without love be complete?
I actually liked studying quite a bit in middle school, but the feeling of being forced to study because of my parents’ marriage was not good at all.
So after high school, I wasn’t studying for myself.
After going to Peking University, I not only didn’t keep in touch with my classmates but didn’t go home either.
I was afraid that as soon as I returned, my mom would find some way to pull my dad together and weave some false image of a harmonious family.
For more than three years, I didn’t return to Wenzhou, I even ran away to the United States.
I think my mom should have understood by now that she doesn’t have to deceive herself for my sake anymore.
This time I came back, and she should have divorced my dad already, starting her own new life.
Unexpectedly, in the end, I still witnessed them both signing the divorce papers on New Year’s Eve.
It’s better this way. I feel that the divorce should be a release for me, my dad, and my mom," Qi Yi’s tone sounded as if he were talking about something that didn’t relate to him.
"Is your mom okay now?" Yan Yan asked with mixed feelings.
"Yeah, she made a fuss all night yesterday, and was still crying this morning, but since my mom has accepted reality, she should figure it out soon.
Waiwai, sorry, I haven’t had the chance to read the email you wrote me yesterday.
I just opened my computer and planned to reply to you right after reading the email.
It’s just that I suddenly missed you so much that I sent you that email first.
Wait for me a little longer; I’ll write to you after I hang up the phone," Qi Yi apologized, his voice weary and not as clear as usual.
"Since you’ve already turned on the computer, just read the email I sent you.
Then, go get some sleep; there’s no rush to reply to me.
I’m about to go out with my parents and won’t have time to read emails either.
And besides, we’ve already talked on the phone today.
Once you’ve finished reading my email, go get some good rest.
When you’re well-rested and have the energy, then give me a proper reply, or you could wait until tomorrow to write it if you prefer.
Xiao Qizi, as my accessory, you must obey my orders, you’ve got to be good, understand?" Yan Yan urged Qi Yi to rest.
"Alright, I’ll be good." After hanging up the phone, Qi Yi clicked open Yan Yan’s "New Year’s email" and soon read the words in Yan Yan’s attachment.
Yan Yan’s words, like a babbling brook, flowed through Qi Yi’s heart, sweet and refreshing.
At such a time, to hear Yan Yan’s voice and see the New Year’s surprise she had drawn for him, Qi Yi began to look forward to his future with Yan Yan.
"Beating red heart," "short tiger," "squid," his Waiwai, so earnestly "telling" him the words he wanted to hear.
Qi Yi felt that going to Melbourne to find Yan Yan was the bravest and most beautiful decision he had made in his life so far.
