Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 44

NADINE’S P.O.V

I was sore... everywhere.

My skin bore the mark of everything Rowan and I did last night. His hand prints were stark on my thighs and sides, and I found hickies in place that I didn’t even know they could exist. Every step I took left me with a clearly painted memory of last night and I knew there was no way I’d be able to hide it from the others.

Rowan was already awake when I woke up. He lay behind me, his fingers gently stroking my sides and my hair. He didn’t say a word to me, but then again, he didn’t have to. Once he noticed I was awake, he kissed me softly before handing me something for breakfast.

"You look good," he drawled, the cone rof his lips curved with some sense of male pride as he watched me.

I wasn’t naked, but I wasn’t properly dressed either.

After I passed out last night, Rowan took me out under the pouring rain where he washed me. I could barely move while he did it, too spent and exhausted to lift a muscle. Once he was done, he put me on one of his shirts and that was what I wore even now.

"You look good in my clothes," he continued and I flipped him off.

His laugh echoed off the walls of the container.

"When do we start moving?"

"When I say we do," he shrugged. "Take your time, eat and get dressed. I’m going to talk to Dan."

I nodded and watched him leave the container. He left the door ajar as he walked out and bright light filled the otherwise dark space. I just stared at the spot... thinking. It wasn’t something I did often, I always found it frustrating because it left me with a sense of hopelessness.

It was something I avoided and yet, here I was, thinking about how different things would be if we never left the bunker. Would Rowan and I still have what we had right now? Would we have learned to like each other or would we have remained cordial to each other... bordering on actual hatred?

We would have been safer than we were out here but somehow, it didn’t seem like the better option.

I forced the thoughts out of my head and pulled on a pair of cargo pants and a short sleeves shirt. I picked up Rowan’s jacket, the one he gave me to wear when we first started moving alone. I liked it better than my own. It smelled like him and it was much bigger. It was warm and it always made me feel safe in a way I didn’t understand.

I packed up our things, trying not to turn into a blushing mess as I packed up the sleeping bag.

"Are you okay in here?" Rowan asked as his body filled the entrance to the container.

"Yes, I’m all packed up. We can leave whenever you’re ready." 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶

His eyes roamed my body slowly. "Are you sure? We can stay longer if you need to... rest."

My cheeks burned bright. "I’m fine. We can start moving."

He nodded and grabbed both bags. I protested and tried to take one from him but he swatted my hand away and kissed me softly before making his way out of the container. I exhaled deeply before following him out.

Dan and Jennifer were already outside and as we made our way over to them, Dan wiggled his brows at me. My cheeks turned bright pink against my will. There was no way he could’ve heard us last night, but the way he looked at me, it was almost as if he knew.

I tried to avoid his teasing gaze the whole time and walked in step with Rowan but Dan clearly had other plans because after a few minutes of walking, he came up to my side and draped a hand over my shoulder.

"Hello," he grinned. "You both must have had a great night." Rowan stared at him blankly, then at the hand on my shoulder before looking away. "You could at least say hi back."

"Fuck off."

His tone held no bite, and Dan knew that too because he waved him off and turned to me. When he spoke, his voice was barely over a whisper.

"I would’ve thought that getting laid would make him a tad bit nicer."

I tried to keep my blush under control and kept my voice neutral as I responded. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"You’re a shitty liar."

"I have no reason to lie."

He just smiled at me. "You have a hickey on your neck that isn’t hidden well by your hair and Caine is looking at me like he’s going to rip my head off my skull."

"You’re being dramatic."

He tipped my chin to the side.

Rowan had given us some space to talk, but was still close enough to us that he could probably hear the conversation. Sure enough, he was shooting daggers at Dan who just waved it off like it was a casual occurrence. I wasn’t sure if he had a death wish or if he just didn’t care.

"Also, we can add in the fact that you have that freshly fucked-"

"I think that’s enough." My cheeks were burning at this point. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. Jennifer isn’t feeling particularly chatty today. I wanted to steal you away from your boyfriend for a while."

"He isn’t my boyfriend."

Dan scoffed. "Are you trying to lie to me or to yourself?"

"Neither," I crossed my arms over my chest and dropped my voice low so Rowan wouldn’t hear. "We aren’t together."

"So if you found another man, you would fuck him?" I stayed silent. "If he found another woman, you would be okay with him fucking her, right?"

I felt something bitter and ugly swirl in my chest. It was an emotion I had never felt before, one that dug sharp claws into my skin and had bile rushing up my throat. The thought of Rowan with another woman pissed me off for unknown reasons.

He wasn’t mine, he had never asked to be, but I felt a fierce wave of possessiveness when it came to him.

"We aren’t going to find any other people," I said instead and he laughed.

"What about when you get to a bunker? Do you think there won’t be guards there? Tell me, Nadine, would you be fine with it then?"

"Stop."

It was a soft request but it was enough for him to go silent.

"You are deluding yourself if you think that you’re not his."

"It’s just because we’re doing this together," I argued. "This never would have happened at the bunker."

He laughed humorlessly. "If you think that’s true, then you’re not as smart as I thought you were."

"So what? Am I some kind of property that he owns until he gets tired?"

"I don’t think you need me to answer that for you. I don’t know your relationship with Caine, but I do know Caine, and I know that he doesn’t play with what’s his."

I didn’t know what to say in response to that so I remained silent.

I liked Dan, he was fun, but also had an air of seriousness around him. He seemed like a good friend and someone I would have liked to know before all of this.

"I better go before Caine decides I’m better off dead," he ruffled my hair. "We’ll continue this conversation later."

He walked away, going over to Jennifer who was walking alone.

As he did, I couldn’t help but glance over at Rowan who had slowly made his way back over to me.

"Did he bother you?" he asked and I shook my head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I smiled softly. "Let’s just keep moving."