Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 50

NADINE’S P.O.V

I waited until Rowan returned before leaving Dan alone.

I wanted to spend every possible moment with him but there was something more important- or someone.

Jennifer was in the room, sitting cross-legged in front of the bed where Dan lay before. She didn’t speak to me, but she was aware of my presence. I should have left her alone, it was clear she didn’t want the company but I forced myself to take a step forward.

"Get out." She hissed but I ignored her, stepping closer to her. As I got closer, I realized there were tear streaks on her face. I opened my mouth to speak but I saw something flying in my direction.

It was a blood stained cloth. I managed to catch it just before it hit my face.

"I said get out!" she turned to me, fire in her eyes. "I don’t want you here."

"It is a good thing that I don’t care about what you want," I shrugged as I sat next to her. "Are you going to stay here all day?"

"What do you care? I’ve been nothing but a thorn in your side since day one. You should be happy that I’m letting you spend time with the people you actually like."

"I should," I agreed. "It would be easier to pretend that you don’t exist, but I’m here, trying to talk to you even when you’re being a complete ass. I don’t owe you a thing; not decency, not respect, but I’m giving it, so I would appreciate it if you stopped acting like a fucking bitch and listened to me."

She turned to me, her expression a mixture of shock and annoyance.

I barely spoke to her on a good day. I had never cursed at her before and she had not seen me pissed off. It was always Rowan who dealt with her.

"You’re not as much of a pushover as I thought."

Underneath what sounded like snark, I could hear the pride in her voice. On another day, I would have focused on it, but I didn’t care about her compliment- not today.

"And you’re more of a coward than I thought." I shot back, my hands crossed over my chest. "You’re not even going to say goodbye."

Just like that, whatever camaraderie we formed was gone and replaced with rage. "You don’t know a thing about my relationship with Dan. You have no right-"

"I may not know much, but I do know that if you can’t be bothered to spend his last hours with him then maybe there wasn’t much of a relationship to start with. This could be the last time you see him-"

"And who made that choice?" she snapped, her voice thick with emotion. "I didn’t make that choice. He did it without consulting anyone."

"What would you have preferred that he did?"

"Fight!" she ran her hands through his hair. "I want him to not give up so easily. I need him to want to live. Dan is the first person in a long time that actually liked me for who I was. He wasn’t tolerating me, he wasn’t just putting up with me. He was cool and he was kind to me. I can’t lose that."

"You’re being selfish."

She scoffed. "I don’t expect you to understand."

"Good, because I don’t. I know he’s your friend, but he is dying. He sacrificed himself to save us. The least you could do is honor that sacrifice by being there for him."

"I’m sorry but I can’t," she waved me off. "I won’t do it. Call me a heartless bitch or whatever you want. I refuse."

"Jennifer-"

"Please leave. I want to be alone."

I pursed my lips.

There was so much I wanted to say; so much at the tip of my tongue but I forced the words back into my throat and walked out of the room. Just before I shut the door behind me, I heard a small sob break free from her lips.

Dan was still seated outside when I got there, but Rowan was gone.

I had barely sat down when he spoke. "Thank you for trying to talk to her."

"I don’t know what you mean."

I attempted to feign ignorance but Dan just snorted. "Don’t insult my intelligence, Nadine. She isn’t going to come out unless she wants to. She is stubborn that way."

"It’s not fair."

He shrugged, his movements slow and sluggish. "Life isn’t fair. You don’t have to be there."

"I want to."

He sighed. "You’d have to leave as soon as it is done. The blood will attract them."

"Blood?" I asked and he gave me a small smile.

"I don’t want to die slowly. A good dagger to the heart will work wonders."

I hated how casually he spoke, as if he was talking about the weather. This was his life, it wasn’t something trivial.

"I’ve had a lot of time to think about this." He squeezed my hand in his softly. "It’s what I want."

I didn’t know what to say to that so I changed the subject. "Where did Rowan go?"

"He went to find somewhere close by that you can all run to after it is over."

I stayed silent after that.

Rowan returned after an hour and told me about a container on the tracks that was empty. It was risky but it was the closest place he found and as long as we stayed silent, we would be fine.

No one said a word about Dan’s request until night fell. The moon was in the sky but it was devoid of stars. It was almost as if nature knew what was going to happen and was causing the sky to reflect the mood.

Dan sighed and turned to Rowan. A silent conversation was had between them before Rowan stood to his feet, helping Dan up easily.

"There’s still time for you to go," Rowan offered but I shook my head. I was staying.

We didn’t go far, Dan’s only request was that he be able to watch the stars as he died so we laid him out on the ground, his eyes fixed on the skies above.

"Now would be a good time for the stars to come out," he mumbled and I couldn’t help but laugh.

"We could wait till tomorrow," I offered but he shook his head.

"No, this is good enough."

I saw Rowan retrieve the dagger from his side and Dan’s hands tightened around my own. For the first time since this all began, I saw a flash of fear in his eyes.

I guess no one truly wanted to die.

"You’re a good person, Nadine. It was an honor to have known you and I hope that in another life, we get to bother Caine together," he teased. Moisture gathered behind my eyes but I blinked it back. "Tell Jennifer that I’m not mad at her and I forgive her for not being here."

"Tell me yourself, you bastard," a voice drawled about from behind us and I saw Jennifer make her way over.

Her hands were shoved in her pockets and her eyes were red rimmed but she said nothing to us, she just made her way to Dan’s other side and clasped his hand.

"I still hate you for choosing this."

"I know," he gave a small smile to her before turning to Rowan. "Come here for a second."

He whispered something to Rowan. Despite how close we were, I couldn’t hear the words. By the time Rowan pulled back, his jaw was set but he said nothing.

"The stars," Dan said and I looked up.

It was one second and then it happened.

I heard the sound of flesh tearing and a small gasp left Dan’s lips. I squeezed his hand tighter, silently letting him know that I was here. My hand smoothed back the hair on his face.

For a second, he smiled and then he was gone.