Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 83

CAINE’S P.O.V

Amy wasn’t very slick with her plan to try and get Joshua and I to speak.

There would’ve been a better chance of success if she’d just come out and said what she wanted. It would’ve saved us all the trouble. I had nothing against Joshua. I still didn’t trust him despite everything that happened and it was clear that he didn’t trust me either.

He played his cards too close to his chest and he acted too much like a soldier for someone who’d spent his entire life being protected and provided for.

When the girls left, he stared at me for a long minute before mumbling something under his breath and disappearing into the back room. I didn’t try to stop him or ask for help, I just focused on the map in front of me and resumed trying to memorize the path we needed to take just in case the map went missing.

A few minutes had passed when he stepped out again. "When do you think they’ll be back."

I shrugged. "Soon. It’s only been a few minutes."

He frowned. "Aren’t you the least bit worried that they’re out there alone? They could be hurt."

"They just went to the park. I’m sure they’ll be back soon. They can both defend themselves."

"Nadine is still healing from a fucking miscarriage. You don’t seem to care so much about-"

I turned to him slowly, rage coursing inside of me like an ocean. It took everything in me to not send him flying through the door behind him. He must have seen murder in my eyes because he had the common sense to take a step back.

"Don’t you dare assume that you know how I feel about Nadine," I hissed out, my voice low. "If I even thought for a second that she was in danger, I’d have gone after her."

"She shouldn’t be out there."

"If she thought that, she’d have never gone with Amy. Get your head out of your fucking ass and stop treating her like she’s going to break. She doesn’t need you to be her protector."

"Clearly she does, seeing as you won’t do it."

I bit back a humorless laugh. "If there’s something you want to say, boy, say it."

He scowled at my words. "I thought you were good for her. I thought that as long as she was happy then I’d let things be, but clearly you’ve manipulated her or some shit."

"If you think Nadine can be manipulated then you don’t know her well enough."

"It’s the only plausible explanation. Why else would she be with you? I’ve watched you with her. You’re cold, you don’t even smile at her. She is hurt and instead of protecting her and keeping her safe, you let her go out there where the monsters are. She needs to be watched over right now."

I took a slow step forward. "She was going through a miscarriage, she’d been beaten bloody and she still managed to kill one of those creatures. That isn’t someone that needs to be coddled. She doesn’t need you."

He snorted. "I’m just looking out for her. It’s what I’ve always done."

"Always? At the first sign of danger, you ran. When the last bunker fell, you weren’t looking out for her. All you cared about was yourself. Don’t try to swoop in and play hero."

His cheeks burned bright. "I couldn’t go back. I was too far from the rooms."

"I was on my way out, I was at the door and I turned back to get her." His eyes widened in shock. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "If you even cared about her, you’d have never left her behind."

I hadn’t even realized when I’d walked up to him. I was standing in his face and it was clear just how uncomfortable he was.

He couldn’t even look at me. He stared at the wall behind me like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when the door knob jiggled. Amy and Nadine rushed in, shutting the door behind them.

They were both panting, their eyes wide and their knuckles white as they clutched the bottles tightly.

"What’s wrong?" I asked but Nadine waved me off. She pulled back the curtains a little and stared out the driveway. "Nadine?"

She drew the curtains shut. "Nothing."

I raised a brow at Amy who just shrugged. "There was a monster, no big deal."

"What?"

She held up a hand while Nadine shushed me. "It’s dead now. Your girl killed it. She has great aim by the way."

I wasn’t sure if I was impressed or pissed that they were both acting like it wasn’t a big deal that they’d almost gotten killed by a monster. I felt like a hypocrite seeing as I’d just told Joshua that she could defend herself.

"We just have to be quiet," Nadine said, her voice barely over a whisper. It was at that moment that she realized Joshua and I were standing together. "What’s going on with you two?"

I turned back to Joshua. His eyes were hard, his hands crossed over his chest as he stared at me, but I could see the guilt in his eyes. For a long minute, neither of us said anything, neither one of us willing to break eye contact.

I broke it first and turned back to Nadine who was watching us with curiosity.

"Nothing," Joshua said and then he was gone.

We didn’t speak about it again. We just gathered our things and took turns keeping watch through the window. Fortunately, no monsters passed by and Joshua hadn’t dragged himself out of wherever he was hiding.

"Hey," Nadine drawled as she sat on the couch next to me.

It was my turn to keep watch. I watched through a small gap in the curtain. I wasn’t looking at anything in particular but I kept staring out because I knew exactly what she wanted to ask.

"Avoidance isn’t your thing, Rowan, don’t start now."

I sighed before turning to her. "Yes, princess?"

"Do I want to know why Joshua is hiding away?"

I shrugged. "I think you should be asking him that question."

"Please, Rowan, I know you, don’t insult my intelligence." She crossed her arms over her chest. "What did you both fight about?"

"We didn’t fight. If we did, you’d know."

"So fucking arrogant," she mumbled, rolling her eyes. "What did you talk about, then?"

"You."

Her eyes widened in shock. She opened her mouth to speak but I held up a hand to stop her. "I don’t want to talk about him."

"But if you’re talking about me, then I have a right to know."

I reached out for her and pulled her between my thighs. She protested but quickly quietened when I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back to lean against my chest. She shut her eyes and sighed deeply.

"This won’t make me forget," she mumbled and the corner of my lips quirked.

"It doesn’t matter," I assured her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"Rowan-"

"Just trust me on this, okay?" she was silent for a moment and then she nodded. I kissed her temple again. "Am I too cold to you, princess?"

"Cold?"

"Do you ever feel that I’m too hard on you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Is that what Joshua said?"

"Just answer the question."

She turned to me, cradling both my cheeks in her hands. "You’re fucking perfect, Rowan. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be here. You can believe that."