Martial Arts Ain't Anything Special-Chapter 23: Red Moon Pavilion (3)

“Eeeeek...!!”

Bang! Bang! The blanket looked like it might tear at any moment.

“Now now, Geum Chunbong. Kick gently, gently.”

“Kyaaaah...!!!”

Ratatattat! Like a machine gun, her kicks finally caused the blanket to disintegrate mid-air.

Seojun nodded as he watched Chunbong.

“Endure it, young lady. Puberty passes quickly.”

“Stop talking bull—!”

Chunbong leaped up and crashed into his stomach like a missile.

“Oof...!”

“Y-You... if you weren’t here, no one would know about this...!”

“Patricide is forbidden, you brat!”

“Die, Lee Seojun...!”

Tap tap tap! Her rapid-fire punches landed on his chest. They didn’t hurt at all.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah────”

Her voice cut off like someone talking in front of a fan.

After showing off her impressive lung capacity, an exhausted Chunbong collapsed onto his chest, panting.

“Uuugh...”

She looks like she might die of embarrassment. My my. What a sensitive age to be embarrassed by everything.

“Up we go, my Chunbong. Want to go out for a walk with your big brother?”

“...Where to?”

“The red-light district?”

“You really are insane...”

Even if I’m your big brother, that kind of expression hurts, you know?

Smacking his lips, Seojun got up with Chunbong tucked under his arm.

“Let’s go get food first. We can visit the red-light district when the sun sets.”

“Ugh, stop with the red-light district...”

Though she grumbled, he knew she’d follow.

Seojun started walking along leisurely.

*The Black Tiger Sect had been wealthy.

And naturally, having raided their vault, Seojun was quite wealthy too.

Now they could eat luxuriously at inns every day without any problems.

“Come now, Master Chunbong. Have a drink.”

“Mmm. The aroma is excellent.”

“To detect aroma in water! Truly a master!”

“...Let’s stop this. We sound like morons.”

“Kay.”

Sliced pork with garlic sauce, sweet and sour tenderloin, Beijing-style shredded pork, and Beggar’s Chicken, was it?

With Chunbong’s help, the ordered dishes spread across the table. All meat dishes.

A bottle of alcohol would make this perfect.

Why not just order it you might ask? Obviously, I can’t.

My Chunbong is just a baby. I have to protect her.

Seojun looked around while eating.

“What are you doing?”

Chunbong asked while chewing with her cheeks stuffed. Seojun went closer upon hearing her question.

After she leaned in to listen, he whispered.

“You have to be careful at inns. They’re one of the Three Great Demonic Realms of Murim.”

“What bullshit is it this time?”

“Look at what happened before. We met those Clear River Sect guys at an inn too.”

“That’s because you beat up the cloth shop owner.”

“No, but regardless of that! I’m serious you know?”

In martial arts novels, about half of all incidents happen at inns.

How many inns must close down daily across the Central Plains? Probably hundreds?

Well, when martial artists cause trouble, inns have no choice but to close. Better than getting stabbed.

Unless the innkeeper was the Heavenly Demon or something, but it seemed unlikely that the Heavenly Demon would have nothing better to do than run an inn.

“Mmm, I’m full.”

Chunbong patted her belly slightly sticking out after finishing her meal.

Seojun, who hadn’t lowered his guard until then, scratched his head.

“I guess nothing happened after all.”

“Stop with the nonsense already, stupid.”

“Kyuu~”

“Bleh...”

Leaving Chunbong, horrified by a grown man acting cute, he paid with silver.

The sun was still glaring in the sky as they stepped out of the inn. Surely the brothels wouldn’t be open during the day?

“Hey, Geum Chunbong.”

“What?”

“Say, do you know how to have fun?”

“I wouldn’t know. I only trained when I was young, and when I grew up, I lost everything—my home, my family, everything.”

“Oh...”

This brat. How am I supposed to respond when you say things like that?

Scratching his chin, Seojun suddenly picked up Chunbong and gave her a piggyback ride.

“Uwah...!”

“Let’s go, Geum Chunbong...!”

Today, we’re gonna play until we’re sick of it!

*He gained one insight.

There’s fuck all to do in murim.

I used to wonder why martial artists were so obsessed with martial arts, but in this world, martial arts is literally all there is to do.

“Ugh... I think I’m gonna puke.”

With nothing else to do, we ended up trying everything we saw.

I’ve eaten so much of Chunbong’s favorite tanghulu that my mouth feels numb now.

“Hehe...”

But Chunbong seems to have had fun. Her beaming smile is cute. But that’s beside the point.

How dare she.

Because of her, I ate at least five tanghulu.

Suddenly grabbing Chunbong’s waist, Seojun lifted her high like in The Lion King.

“Everyone look...! Check out my Chunbong!”

“W-What, what, what are you doing...! Put me down right now, you crazy bastard!?”

“The cutest in all the Central Plains! Too adorable! My Chunbong!”

“Y-You FU...! Stop it...!”

People passing by giggled. Chunbong’s face was completely red, looking like it might burst if you poked it.

“Phew, that felt good.”

“You son of a bitch!”

After putting Chunbong down, her tiny fists came flying rapid-fire.

“Ow...!”

These hurt as fuck. These weren’t her usual playful punches—each hit landed with a solid thud.

After throwing punches until she tired out, Chunbong stomped away huffing. Her tiny stomping figure looked quite determined.

Has she finally cheered up?

She definitely seemed better now. Seojun grinned and ran to grab the top of her head.

“Hey, Geum Chunbong. Let’s go together.”

“Go away!”

“Aww~”

“Ugh...!”

“Aka.”

“You were going to say Murasaki, weren’t you! Stop with that already!”

“Ah! You figured it out...! Truly a master!”

“Bullshit.”

Well, I had fun too.

*As the sunset began to paint the sky, Seojun made his way towards the red-light district.

“Aren’t you tired of those?”

“Nope. They’re delicious.”

Beside him walked Master Geum Chunbong with dangerously high blood sugar, still consuming yet another tanghulu.

“Hmm.”

Row after row of courtesan houses.

Some were large like the Red Moon Pavilion, while others were just shabby small houses that were courtesan houses in name only.

Most fell into the latter category. That was just how back alleys were.

“What should we do?”

“About what?”

“Alright, made up my mind.”

“Hold on, what are you planning to do?! Tell me before you do something!”

Answering only with a grin, Seojun burst through the door of the courtesan house at the district’s entrance.

“Hey, friends!”

All eyes turned to him.

Courtesans, customers, Black Path thugs.

A young-looking boy scurried over and asked.

“Are you a customer?”

“Nope?”

“Uh... huh?”

That response wasn’t in the manual—the boy seemed to malfunction.

Seojun patted the boy’s shoulder and approached a nearby thug.

“Yo?”

“...Fiend. What business do you have here.”

“Where’s your boss?”

“Think I’ll tell you?”

“Good point.”

Seojun scratched his chin. Come to think of it, they won’t just tell me willingly, will they?

After pondering, he stomped the ground hard with his foot.

Boom!

Crack— Starting from where his foot landed, the surrounding area completely froze over.

The thug with frozen feet stiffened his expression.

“You tryna see stars, HUH?”

“What stars? The sun just set. It’s too early for that, the moon’s about to rise, my guy.”1

Behind him, Chunbong was appalled.

“That was really not funny.”

“Ah.”

Anyway. That’s not what’s important.

“So, where’s your boss?”

“...I’ll lead the way.”

“Playing hard to get when you were gonna show me anyway.”

*He met some Black Path boss whose name he didn’t care about and informed him.

In about a week, he’d be borrowing the courtesans briefly, so cooperate.

Of course, there was resistance.

“Take the courtesans? Who do you think you are!”

“Well... a martial arts master doing as he pleases?”

“Even if it’s you, do you think you can survive after turning all the Black Path sects against you?!”

“Of course!”

When Seojun casually fired a qi bullet at a nearby tree, the man snorted.

“You think your inner qi is endless?”

He silently fired another qi bullet.

BOOM──────────!!!

The man, completely covered in wooden splinters, nodded his head vigorously.

This chapter is updat𝙚d by freeweɓnovel.cøm.

“Yes! Take them whenever you please!”

Leaving the man bowing repeatedly at ninety degrees, Seojun walked away saying.

“What should I name this? Yin-Yang Finger Bullet? Yin-Yang Finger? Hm... Nah. Primordial Sun Moon Finger?”

“That sounds lame.”

“Then Yellow Dragon Divine Finger? No, that’s lame too. Yellow Dragon’ Divine Bullet?”

“...That actually sounds kind of good.”

Your true feelings are showing, Geum Chunbong!

Chuckling and thinking about just calling it Yellow Dragon Divine Bullet, Chunbong must have felt called out because she spoke up.

“...No. On second thought, Primordial Sun-Moon Finger would be better.”

“You think so?”

“Martial art names should be intuitive. It’ll influence your mental imagery somewhat.”

“Aww, you cute little thing!”

“W-Why so suddenly...?”

And that’s how it was decided.

*After some thought, instead of entering other courtesan houses, Seojun headed to the Red Moon Pavilion.

He realized after visiting the first place that it would be too much trouble to break into every courtesan house and convince (physically) people.

“So, shall we make it two days from now? If you can gather the courtesans who belonged to the Black Tiger Sect, I can make a round then and receive them.”

Maewol greeted him with a bright smile and nodded.

“As you wish. But Young Expert, there’s no need for such formality with me. Please speak comfortably as you did before.”

“I’d rather not?”

“Fufu, I understand.”

Though he wasn’t sure what she understood, he just nodded, then felt a sharp gaze from beside him.

“Why are you glaring now, Chunbong?”

“Before? Was this where you came yesterday?”

“Ah.”

Seojun covered his mouth. Hearing this, Maewol came to his defense.

“It’s good for a man to be healthy. If you try to confine them too much, they’ll try to break free and fly away from their cage.”

“Who asked you to butt in?”

Chunbong bared her teeth with a growl.

Why is she acting like this?

“My Chunbong doesn’t bite.”

“Yes, Young Expert. By the way, how about tonight?”

Maewol boldly flirted, unintimidated. Seojun stepped back slightly and shook his head.

“Uh... no thanks. I’m a bit worried about sexually transmitted diseases...”

“Fu-fufu... Is that so...?”

The corner of her eyes trembled.

“Well, goodbye!”

Seojun grabbed Chunbong and quickly bowed before fleeing the Red Moon Pavilion.

“Phew, this popularity of mine.”

“...You crazy bastard.”

Her gaze was a bit strange. Like she was looking at a genuine madman.

“Hey! I took your side but why!”

“Sigh, forget it.”

Though she shook her head, Chunbong’s expression didn’t look too bad.

“Oh, right. Do you know anything about the Hao Sect?”

1. The original Korean uses a pun on '해' (hae), meaning both 'do' and 'sun.'

A more literal translation:"You tryna do (fight/go at it) this?""Do what? The sun's already already set. The moon's about to rise, my guy."