Martial Arts Ain't Anything Special-Chapter 67: Breasts (2)

Soft and heavy, yet warm and cozy.

Where lies the truth of all creation? It was within reach.

This massive violent force rivaling Chunbong’s Profound Realm cheeks.

Seojun’s soul reached out to the root of all creation in the universe.

“I never dreamed Young Expert was bearing such pain. I thought you were just a cheerful person... I’m sorry. For being so blissfully unaware.”

“Uh... It’s alright? Thank you?”

“Fufu, is that so? My mother used to do this sometimes, and I found it very comforting.”

“I see...”

So those huge things were hereditary. As expected of the Namgung Clan. Though he didn’t know the Namgung Clan Head’s face, he could understand how he reached such a high realm.

If the Divine Sword Geum Clan has chubby cheeks... then the Namgung Clan has fat tits...!

After Namgung Suah moved away, Seojun finally regained control of his senses.

“Hmph...!”

“Eek...!”

A very upset Chunbong was glaring at him fiercely.

“Oops...”

“By the way, may I ask you something, Sister Geum?”

“...What is it?”

Chunbong answered curtly.

“What’s your real name?”

“Real name? What are you talking about? It’s Geum Chunbong—Ack!”

Chunbong covered her mouth in shock.

“Lee Seojun! This is all your fault...!”

“What? How?!”

“Because you always call me Geum Chunbong!”

“You can’t go around using your real name!”

“It’s fine when it’s just the two of us!”

“But...! Geum Chunbong sounds so nice!”

“Augh...!”1

“Aka...!”

“I swear if you say Murasaki I’ll kill you...!”

Seojun chuckled.

Chunbong sighed deeply and revealed her real name.

“Hee. It’s Geum Hee.”

“Hee... That’s a pretty name.”

“Yeah. It is. Though that bastard doesn’t seem to think so.”

Seojun, who was being pointed at, jumped up and down.

“Hey, I said it was pretty too!”

“Then call me Hee sometimes!”

“Ugh.... I don’t wanna.”

“Kyaaaaaah...!!”

What an impressive shout. It reminds me of Sister Kim Kyung-ho from her devil days...

Namgung Suah, giggling at Chunbong’s tantrum, returned to her seat.

“It’s certainly surprising nonetheless. Talent... Can such an absurd ability even be called talent?”

“Huh? Oh, that? I guess so?”

“So at the Huayin martial arts tournament, you copied Mount Hua’s plum blossoms and my sky with that talent?”

“Uh... well...”

Seojun scratched his head.

Pfft, Namgung Suah laughed softly.

“I don’t mean anything harmful. It’s not exactly the same either way, so it’s not noticeable.”

“Is that right?”

“Of course, it would be a big deal if people found out. Mount Hua might even issue an arrest warrant...”

“Gasp...!”

Namgung Suah raised one finger with a coy expression as she watched Seojun’s exaggerated surprise.

“But, the Namgung Clan won’t particularly care.”

“Seriously? For real?”

“Of course. The Namgung Clan isn’t that petty.”

Even Chunbong, who had been panting after throwing a fit, nodded as well.

“Huff... Th-That’s true... If you had to name the most trustworthy among the Orthodox Faction, it would be the Namgung Clan.”

“That much?”

“Yeah. So...”

Chunbong glanced at Namgung Suah.

As if knowing what she was about to say, Namgung Suah nodded, and Chunbong continued.

“The Namgung Clan is pretty famous. As... a clan of sword lunatics.”

“What?”

“It’s not for nothing that people say it’s a miracle the Namgung Clan line continues.”

The clan members, especially the successive heads of the Namgung Clan, often heard such comments.

People wondered if their children were born from unions with swords.

Of course, it was just a joke.

While the direct descendants of the Namgung Clan were typically sword lunatics who lived and breathed the sword, once they fell in love they would pour all of their affection including what they had for the sword into their beloved.

Perhaps because of this, the Namgung Clan had never produced a Profound Realm martial artist.

Once they found a lover, they would devote all their attention to that person, forgetting about swords and everything else.

“However, the current Namgung Clan Head is one of the martial artists most likely to reach the Profound Realm.”

“Why’s that?”

Chunbong pressed her lips together and looked at Namgung Suah, who smiled bitterly.

“My mother passed away quite some time ago, leaving behind a single sword.”

“...”

“Perhaps because of that, father seems to regard that sword as mother. He truly never parts with it for even a moment. It seems his realm has risen rapidly because of that.”

Her expression was strange as she talked about her family. There was a self-deprecating smile on her drooping face which was pitiful to see.

Seojun’s eyes rolled around before he unconsciously reached out to pat her head just like he did with Chunbong.

“Oops.”

After realizing his mistake he tried to pull his hand back, but Namgung Suah caught it.

“More.”

“Okay.”

He stroked her head for a while.

*Afterwards, as if trying to change the mood, Namgung Suah went on about how the Namgung Clan would be turned upside down if they knew Chunbong was from the Divine Sword Geum Clan, and how everyone would line up just to see Chunbong’s face. Listening to this, Seojun dozed off.

Her soft voice was practically ASMR to the ears, making it impossible not to fall asleep.

Seeing Seojun asleep, Chunbong sighed and patted the spot next to her.

“Big sis, come here.”

“Oh my...”

Namgung Suah smiled softly and sat next to Chunbong.

“You’re calling me big sis now?”

“...Whatever.”

Hmph, Chunbong snorted and stared at Seojun’s sleeping face.

“He’s a real moron.”

“Pardon...?”

“It makes me so anxious every time I look at him. He needs someone to lean on.”

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“Is that someone not you, Sister Geum?”

“No, it can’t be me. To him, I’m a little sister he needs to protect, not someone he can rely on.”

She could be an emotional support. Chunbong took pride in that fact.

Her existence alone could suppress his qi deviation, a truly remarkable act.

“But do you think he’d show weakness to me? Never. He’d just suffer alone and then go crazy doing something weird again.”

“That’s...”

“So you have to do well, big sis. Be the support he can lean on.”

“...I’m not that great of a person.”

Chunbong snorted.

“Not that great of a person? Well, you don’t need to be great. Just being by his side is enough. However...”

A chilling aura filled her eyes. Her platinum-glowing eyes pierced through Namgung Suah.

“If you betray him, I’ll chase you to the ends of the Central Plains and kill you.”

Namgung Suah smiled awkwardly at the pressure that seemed to squeeze her heart.

“Don’t worry about that. I am a Namgung after all.”

“...Yeah. That’s right.”

Chunbong sighed and got up to go to Seojun’s side.

“But don’t cling to him too much...”

Blink, Chunbong’s eyes met Seojun’s and she jumped in place.

“KYAAAAAAH...!!!”

She glared at Seojun while panting heavily, startled to the point she felt her heart might fall out.

“Y-Youuu...! How long have you been awake?!”

“Since ‘He’s a real moron?’”

“You, you fucker...! You were awake from the start, asshole!”

“Mm-hmm. I’m happy to have such a caring little sister... Oof...!”

Chunbong floated up and body-slammed Seojun’s stomach.

“Die! Just die!”

“B-Big sis...! Save me...!”

“Look at this bastard? Asking another woman for help!?”

“That’s not what I... Gaaah...!”

He got beaten to a pulp.

*The next day, as they were cleaning up the campsite and heading to the inn, Seojun suddenly had a thought.

Is this... kind of like a half-orphan party?

Slap!

Startled by his own thoughts, Seojun slapped his cheek.

This wasn’t something any decent human being should think, regardless of the circumstances.

“...What are you doing?”

“Oh, my Chunbong who loves big brother so much—oof!”

“Go die...!”

The group arrived at the inn around lunchtime after walking leisurely. Instead of heading straight to their rooms, they sat in the dining area to make future plans.

“We’ll be going to the Namgung Clan first, but... before that... should we stop by the Hao Sect one more time?”

Chunbong raised her eyebrows at Seojun’s words.

“Hao Sect? Why there again?”

Seojun looked around and spread out his qi barrier to prevent their voices from being heard.

“Even if Jongin joined the Black Serpent, others don’t know that. But he suddenly disappeared, so wouldn’t something be going on?”

“And you want to ask the Hao Sect about that? If we’re not careful, rumors might spread that we did it.”

“No, we just need to probe carefully.”

Seojun grinned and looked at Namgung Suah who tilted her head curiously.

“Of course, big sis will do it. I’m not confident.”

“Pardon...?”

“You’ve probably been educated in the Namgung Clan, so you’d be good at this kind of thing, right?”

“Hmm.”

Namgung Suah pondered. Chunbong also thought deeply before nodding.

“Agreed, big sis would be best for this.”

“Is that so? Then I have one condition.”

“A condition?”

“Yes.”

Namgung Suah stared at Chunbong.

“Sister Geum, allow me to touch your cheeks just once. It’s the first time I’ve seen this Young Expert praise something so highly.”

“Mm-hmm. Indeed.”

Seojun nodded.

“But big sis, you need to get permission from me for that. Those cheeks are mine.”

“What the hell? Since when were my cheeks yours?”

“What do you mean since when? They always have been.”

“Bullshit.”

Hmph, she snorted and stared at Namgung Suah.

“Fine, but I have a condition too.”

“Really? I’m fine with that.”

“Let me touch those fat lumps too. I need to know what drives men to go crazy over them.”

1. The sound is like 'Ao', Japanese for Blue, another one of Gojo Satoru's Techniques.