My Scumbag System-Chapter 316: A Hero’s Welcome is Just Another Word for a Social Minefield
The ferry ride back to the Atoll should’ve been peaceful. Should’ve given me time to process the fact that Luka had just given me his blessing to date his daughter instead of breaking my spine in fourteen different places.
Instead, I got to watch Natalia practically vibrate with excitement beside me on the deck, her purple eyes reflecting the moonlight off the water. She kept glancing at me, then away, then back again, like she was working herself up to say something.
"Spit it out."
"They’re waiting for us."
I blinked. "Who?"
"Everyone." Her smile turned wicked. "I may have sent a group chat while you were unconscious."
Oh no.
"Natalia."
"What? They were worried!"
"What exactly did you tell them?"
She pulled out her phone, scrolled through messages. "Let’s see. ’He’s awake.’ ’He’s fine.’ ’We’ll be back tonight.’" She paused. "Oh, and Marco asked if you could still fight. I told him you could barely walk."
Great. Just fantastic. Nothing like coming home looking like I’d been hit by a truck to reassure my guild of violent misfits that their Number One was still worth following.
The Atoll’s lights appeared on the horizon. Closer than I wanted. My ribs throbbed in protest as the ferry rocked over a wave.
Natalia’s hand found mine.
I looked down at our intertwined fingers, then up at her face. She wasn’t smiling anymore. Her expression had gone serious, vulnerable in a way she rarely allowed.
"What’s wrong?"
"Nothing. I just." She squeezed my hand. "I’m glad you’re alive."
Before I could respond, she’d already turned away, back to watching the approaching island.
The walk from the dock to Onyx House felt longer than usual. My shoulder complained with every step. The regenerator brace made breathing feel like sucking air through a straw. But I kept walking, Natalia beside me, neither of us speaking.
The house sat dark on its hill, framed by pine trees that swayed in the night wind. No lights in the windows. No sounds except crickets and the distant crash of waves against rocks.
"See? They went to bed like normal people."
Natalia just smiled.
We climbed the steps to the engawa. I reached for the door handle, already planning which painkillers to take before passing out for twelve hours straight.
"Ready?" Natalia whispered.
"For what?"
She pushed the door open.
The living room exploded.
Lights slammed on with the force of a flashbang. Something burst above my head, showering me in glittering confetti that got in my hair, my mouth, down the collar of my shirt. A speaker system I didn’t know we had started blasting what sounded like triumphant boss battle music.
And then they were all shouting.
"WELCOME BACK, BOSS!"
Marco materialized out of nowhere and grabbed me in a hug that would’ve cracked my ribs if they weren’t already broken. "You absolute madman! You fought an A-Rank! With a BASEBALL BAT!"
"Can’t. Breathe."
"Oh! Sorry!" He released me, grinning so wide his face might split. "But seriously, that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!"
Jaime appeared next, shirtless as usual, flexing in what I assumed was celebration. "YOUR MUSCLES SPOKE TO ME IN THE DUNGEON!" he bellowed. "THEY SAID: ’JAIME! THIS IS WHAT TRUE STRENGTH LOOKS LIKE!’ AND I SAID: ’YES, MUSCLES OF SATORI-SAN! I SHALL FOLLOW YOUR EXAMPLE!’"
I stared at him. "My muscles said that."
"YES!"
"To your muscles."
"IT WAS A SPIRITUAL CONVERSATION!"
Hikari bounced over, her orange ponytail swinging. "Satori-senpai! You’re okay! We were worried! Well, I wasn’t worried because you’re super strong, but everyone else was worried, so I was worried about them being worried!"
My head hurt.
Malachi appeared at my elbow, silent as a ghost. He pressed a cold can of something into my hand. When I looked at the label, it was Thunder-Strike energy drink in Blue Raspberry. The kid had actually gone out and bought my sponsor’s terrible product.
I popped the tab. It still tasted like melted plastic mixed with regret, but somehow that made me smile.
"Thanks."
He nodded once, then melted back into the shadows.
Raphael stood by the kitchen doorway, arms crossed. For once, he wasn’t glaring at me like I’d personally insulted his ancestors. Instead, he looked almost... worried? No, not worried. Pissed off. But pissed off in the way someone gets when they’re relieved.
"You look like shit."
"Thanks, Raphael. Really feeling the love."
"I’m serious." He pushed off the doorframe, stalked closer. His amber eyes locked onto mine. "You went down. We saw the combat recorder footage. Carmen showed us. That thing..." His jaw worked. "It should’ve killed you."
"Yeah, well. It didn’t."
"Because you’re too stupid to die."
I grinned through the pain. "That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me."
He snorted, looked away. Then, quietly: "Don’t do it again."
Before I could process Raphael actually giving a damn about my survival, Isabelle emerged from the kitchen carrying a tablet. She looked as composed as ever, her wine-red hair pulled back in a severe ponytail, her crimson eyes scanning me like a medical report.
"You survived. Good."
"That’s it? ’Good?’"
"What would you prefer? Tears? Declarations of eternal gratitude?" She arched an elegant eyebrow.
"You did exactly what any competent leader would do. You protected your assets and secured victory. Congratulations. Here are your statistics."
She turned the tablet around.
The screen showed the updated Guild Rankings. My eyes widened.
Onyx Hounds: First Place. By a lot
We’d leapfrogged the rest of the guilds entirely.
"The Board decided that successfully clearing a misranked Gate while saving eight Sentinel lives demonstrated ’exceptional tactical awareness and battlefield adaptability,’" Isabelle read from the official statement. "We received full points for completion, a bonus for the rescue operation, and..." She paused. "A formal commendation from President Vance herself."
Akari sauntered over, her chains rattling softly with each step. She’d changed into silk pajamas that left very little to imagination. Her emerald eyes glinted with amusement.
She traced one finger down my chest, stopping at the regenerator brace. "This is sexy, by the way. The whole ’wounded warrior returning from battle’ thing? Very marketable."
Natalia materialized at my other side like a vengeful spirit. "Akari."
"Natalia."
"He needs rest."
"I wasn’t stopping him from resting." Akari’s smile turned predatory. "I was just... appreciating the view."
The temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees.
Before the two could escalate into actual combat, Emi pushed through the crowd. She’d changed into an oversized sweater that hung past her thighs, her blue hair pulled into a messy bun with those antenna strands sticking up.
And she looked like she was about to cry.
"Satori," she whispered.
Her eyes, those warm brown eyes that always looked at me like I’d hung the moon, were red-rimmed and exhausted. She’d been crying. Recently.
My chest tightened.
"Hey. I’m okay."
"You’re not." Her voice cracked. "You almost died. For me. For all of us. And I..." She blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears. "I couldn’t do anything. I just watched you get hit and I froze and if Natalia hadn’t—"
"Stop."
I reached out with my good arm and pulled her into a gentle hug. She made a tiny sound, somewhere between a sob and a sigh, and buried her face against my chest.
"You kept everyone alive," I told her quietly. "That was your job. And you did it perfectly."
"But you—"
"Did my job too. We’re a team, Emi. That means I take the hits so you can keep healing. That’s how it works."
She pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at me. Her face was flushed, her eyes still wet, but something else had crept into her expression.
Adoration.
Pure, unfiltered worship.
The Nectar had done its work well.
"Thank you," she breathed.
Then she rose up on her toes and kissed my cheek, soft and reverent, her lips lingering just a fraction too long.
The room went silent again.
Natalia’s eye twitched.
Skylar, who’d been lurking by the fireplace with her headphones around her neck, straightened up. Her violet eyes narrowed.
Soomin, sitting on the stairs in oversized pajamas, watched with wide eyes and a faint blush creeping across her cheeks.
I was so screwed.
