Oathbreaker: A Dark Fantasy Web Serial-Catrin’s Letter

Hey, big man.

First, I should mention I’m not actually writing this. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I don’t know how. I’m… what’s the word? Dictating?

Garrett is nodding at me, so yeah. That.

I’m learning, though! Thought it was about time. I’ve got a lot of that, you know? Time, I mean. Used to be I didn’t think about it much. I’d live moment to moment, night to night, feed to feed. I’m not sure when that changed, but lately I’ve felt this restlessness. Do you ever feel that? The pressure in your chest screaming that you’ve wasted a chance, a million chances, and now it might be too late?

And I’m rambling. I hope you’re doing well, Al. I know you probably aren’t, that you’re probably fighting some nasty whatsit or rescuing some comely aristo who isn’t good enough for you takes you for granted. I know you’re probably bruised and beaten, avoiding sleep, that you’re probably giving up that delicious blood of yours for someone else again. I know that you’re probably beating yourself up over what happened still.

Is that selfish of me to think? You have so many people you sacrifice for, and I’m half a world away wondering if you’re thinking about me. If you are, please know that I’m alright. I’m in the continent, just like we talked about, and I’m keeping myself busy. It’s been months now since I heard that monster in my head.

You got him, Al. He’s gone and in hell, and we’re still here. I need you to know that. You saved me.

And yet… God, I feel wretched about saying this to you after everything, but I think the way things played out are for the best. I was hurting you, Al. Every time we were together, I was bleeding you and filling you with so much guilt and confusion. I could feel it, you know? In your blood. Your thoughts, your feelings, I leeched them out and they were so warm and so bitter. It wouldn’t have worked between us. I love you, and I’ll keep loving you until I go to dust, but if we’d stayed together I would have hollowed you out.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I’ve started to understand myself more this past year. Once, I told you I was content with being the little monster. But I’m not a little monster. Things are bad here in the continent, Al. The Guilds are worse than any ten Council of Caels, and they control so much over here, but they’re not the worst of it. The crows are like a plague, they’re everywhere, trying to poach souls, but even they aren’t the worst of it!

I have to be careful what I say. They are always watching, always listening. The man writing this for me is trustworthy, but we’re not exactly safe talking about certain things. It’s the Magi. They’re the real powers over here, big man, always have been. They are the True Alchemists, and they play games with empires that make your Accord look like small coins. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

Somewhere in all this mess is him. That count. He’s not just some recluse manipulating politics in the subcontinent. He’s dangerous, Al. All that shit he told us last year, it barely scratches the surface of what he’s involved in. Don’t get involved with him. Keep well away.

I don’t know if there’s some big secret to why I crawled out of my own grave as a kid. Maybe I’m just some damned thing stuck in a corpse with good legs. I don’t know. But the secrets stack up over here, dust over dust, grave over grave, kingdoms atop kingdoms. There are answers. I will know myself.

And maybe I’ll take after you a bit — whatever I am, I can be a scary bitch, and there are plenty of bastards over here who need a bit of scaring.

I know some of this is hard to hear. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, but I also couldn’t leave us in silence, you know? Take care of yourself, big man. Find some nice girl who cares about you and rock her world. Ditch all those lords and ladies — they never gave a shit about you — and find some peace.

All my love,

Cat