Reincarnated Into A Dead Woman's Body In Another World-Chapter 147: Arc 3, - 57: And What I Choose to Do

Voices grew in an inky void; Jotou was waking up? It was all a daze, a blur as her eyes opened. The voices, sounding like static from a radio.

"Okay Jotou, I promise to help you through all of this, till the end!"

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"Please! You know how long I’ve been saving this adventuring outfit for!? Every party rejects me and the Adventurers Guild never accepted me! Don’t throw me away like this!"

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"Life on the road sure gets bumpy! Give me some time to pack! -And, thank you..."

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"We all have problems; we all have things haunting us, we all make mistakes.

But that doesn’t mean you need to be the perfect one to guide us all out. You’re a person too- It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to let it all out. -It’s who you want to be that counts."

"-I like talking to you too. -Thanks for being here."

"Of course."

"-Can you please hold me?"

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’I always wanted armour. And I’m holding an actual sword. Wearing this, I feel like an actual warrior! Like I have the confidence to take on the world; you better watch out velatos.’

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"Thanks for trusting me... and calling me a detective; I could tell that was genuine."

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"I just hope you can be a saviour because that would honour Ana in a way. Promise me, you’ll do your best."

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’All the ideals I held of them are nothing more than overexaggerated truths... Much like any story in history. This confirms it, once and for all.

This is all real. These are real people with emotions that I couldn’t begin to comprehend the depth of; just like people in my world. The ideals I held of them aren’t always true, especially in moments like these.

-Still, I can view them as their greatest images until they grow to surpass them in my mind, just like anyone. And just like friends, I can make fun of and ridicule them. -If I wasn’t taking this seriously before, I need to do so now’

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’Are you really that pathetic? Thundering Blade; nothing more than a joke. What will people see when they see you struggling like this, huh? Should’ve just bent over and went to college, right!?- I’ll prove them wrong; I’ll show you I can do it!’

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’If I tell her about my pathetic excuse for a life, I might end up getting her depressed. Besides, she’s been through way worse than me.’

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"I always have to say things I want to say, like pretty; that includes you! Otherwise, I may never get to say it again. No regrets!"

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"Thank you Jotou. I- I’m lucky to have you."

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"Many seem to forget; before a battle of attrition comes the battle of the mind."

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"I have one clue what’s at stake and that’s all of you- I’m not an angel, I’m not some hero. At the end of the day, the reason I keep going is, because why the hell not?"

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"-I think I do want to see what’s out there. There’ll be places to go, mysteries to uncover and sights to behold. I’m sure of it. So, what do you guys say? Wanna go on an adventure together?"

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"I don’t know who the heck I am at this point or how I got here. Hell, I don’t even know if this is all real or fake. It could all be some coma dream, but I heavily doubt that.

I don’t know what happened to my friends and I don’t know why I can stop you. But it all feels too real. In this world, I’ve made new friends and I’m not going to abandon them.

They make me smile and believe in me. I refuse to disappoint them. My old world was just one bad thing after the other. Maybe it was my own doing, maybe not, but I’ll figure a way out; I will.

Still, I want to see what this world has to offer, because I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a while and you’re in my way..."

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"That’s a lie... I chose not to be happy. I chose to wallow in my shortcomings," Jotou’s voice spoke, a sense of waking up yet still in a dream...

Jotou peered around in a pitch-black void, memories flashing by of every happy moment she’s had in this world and the last. Every moment catching up to the present.

Every loop, bringing a brand new memory; every conversation she had, bringing her a different joy—a new insight. Jotou gazed around, feeling blonde strands going down her neck.

In this black void, filled with voices of her memories, she stood not alone. Two figures stood within walking distance; one to the right and one to the left.

On the right stood a beautiful blonde, in her full adventuring gear and blue eyes; her hair had no black ends. She smiled, her brows furrowed at Jotou.

On the left, a shadow with red eyes—not a velatos. It was shaped like a person—a little misshapen. About six feet, long limbs and an unnervingly familiar shape.

It was Jotou, before coming to this world; no features, just a shadowy body with red eyes that stared and stood still, equidistant from the blonde on the other side.

Jotou narrowed her gaze, and looked down, up, left and right; nothing but an inky void, "Where am I?"

"Your memories are flying by like the car crash you were in and you still can’t figure it out?" the blonde figure spoke.

"We- we-we’re inside your head," the shadowed figure stuttered—Jotou’s old voice.

"I’m inside my own head? Is this the device’s doing?" Jotou raised a brow.

"Obviously dumbass. You think the device wasn’t trying to reset your memories too? It’s just making a mess in here."

"It-it took many times, but it’s pushing through," the shadowed figure peered up.

"Oh stop whining you creep, we won’t be affected; nothing in here will."

"H-how can you be sure? We have no idea about the magic t-that brought us here or why w-we can even resist this."

"So this is what my conscience is? No wonder I’m a mess..."

"Hey, just get rid of that thing, we’ll be fine," the blonde pointed.

"No! Please don’t! I—I’ll just, be in a corner somewhere, please!"

"Stop snivelling you weasel!"

"I’m sorry!"

"We... You’re both still me and I’m-? What even am I in here? This is confusing as hell," Jotou tried to look at her hands only to see nothing...

"You look like a blonde with brown eyes to me," the blonde rolled her eyes.

"Y-you look like the old us—hoodie and everything."

Jotou sighed, "When do I wake up? This feels like a fever dream..."

The blonde shrugged, "You’re us, tell us."

"We’re not quite sure..." the shadow answered.

"When are you sure about anything?"

"I-I’m sure that you’re sure about everything."

Jotou watched the two argue; watched herself argue? "Hey, we’re all me, right?"

"Didn’t you already get that!?"

"D-don’t yell, we’re just making sure," the shadow replied.

"Ugh, fine. You’re everything," the blonde crossed her arms.

"If I’m everything, that means everything else... Which means, you two popped out of me, somehow?" Jotou squinted.

"Helllooo! Messing with our memories and time! Weird things are bound to happen!"

"I get it, I get it. My point is, if I’m arguing with myself, how are we gonna get anything done?"

"W-well, we can just run away from all of this. Maybe staying put’s a good idea," the shadow shrugged unsure.

"That’s how we end up dead and we can’t save everyone idiot. The only way is to kill all of them, take the time egg, destroy it and bring this war to the west of Galuvit...

Yes, yes, then we use our magic and slaughter every enemy in sight! First of all, we get that fucking Lieutenant Frye and we break his fingers one by one, slowly twisting a butterknife into his eye-"

"Okay, we’re not doing either of that," Jotou exhaled.

"You know how many bad things’ve happened to us?-! So many things just piling up into stress and how bad life’s been to us.-!" both the shadow and the blonde synced.

"We should just do nothing because w-we can’t control anything," the shadow fell to the floor and lied on the inky void.

"Bullshit! If you want to control something, you take it by force and do it! That way you can be absolutely sure! Prove anyone WRONG!" the blonde stood taller.

Jotou took a deep breath, "I get it. You’re both my past... and I have to deal with it..."

The two figures stared to Jotou, the blonde furrowing her brows whilst the shadow rolled its head lazily. "Listen, maybe we just look at the bad moments because it’s easier. Because it gives us something to blame.

We don’t bully the weak because of it, we don’t turn to a life of crime. But now, we’re killing out of rage and stress."

"That’s because you listened to him," the blonde pointed to the shadow, "Tomorrow can be better, be nice to everyone, EmPaThY," she mocked.

"All the bad moments and I’m angry you only listened to me on certain occasions. Finally, after so long you listened to me again in that third and fourth loop. Hey, why don’t you listen to me again?"

"Be-because that’s wrong. We’ve been doing just fine..."

"Just fine!? This is the seventh time!"

"M-maybe... but maybe we could just try staying put?"

"You two, listen. There’ve been so many bad moments in my life, but my life’s filled with so many happy ones too, even in these two weeks.

You think Fumeko would trust either one of you? You think Hotaru would support either one of you? You think Asobi would be happy with either one of you? What would our old friends think?

Face it, all the good things that happened were because of the both of you and me. We need each other to function. Why should we dwell on the bad memories?

Have we just been blaming life for everything bad, without thanking it for everything good? Seems a little unfair. Sure, we’ve endured a lot of trauma.

Maybe not as bad as others, but these traumas are mine and they’ve shaped me a lot. But so have the good moments. And with them I can face my past, my present and my future together.

I have my friends to help in the worst of times, but I need myself too. Please, I need both of you. The fear, the fight, the pain, the rage, the meek, the bold.

I have a purpose, I have a goal and I have the present. Let’s do this together. We can make it; no matter how many bad things happen, there will always be good things."

A memory flashed by all of them in the inky void—Jotou’s adventures with Fumeko, Hotaru and Asobi so far; the most recent jolt of happiness coming from Asobi kissing her on the cheek.

"Those were nice..." the shadow slowly got up, some of its shadow disappearing into skin.

"I guess, there’s been happy ones..." the blonde’s eyes turned to a shade of brown, black ends forming in her blonde hair.

"Though, knowing Asobi, it was probably just an innocent kiss," Jotou smiled.

"Yeah, she still thinks people are born from eggs," the blonde relaxed her brows.

"S-she makes us quite happy," the shadow stood up, looking more like the past Jotou.

"Fumeko trusted us with her past... It was all a crush, but even so, we’re her first friend. And crush or not I don’t think that would’ve changed; I think she would’ve still felt comfortable around us."

"That girl trusts us way too much for her own good," the blonde breathed, the ends of her blonde hair had turned black completely.

"It’s n-nice to have her around. We feel more confident when she’s with us," the shadow looked exactly like the past Jotou, hoodie and all.

"Do we even have to talk about her?" Jotou smiled, remembering the scent of Hotaru—the scent of sea dandelions.

"S-she’s going to tease us a lot... She’s f-flirting with us and giving mix signals and it’s all v-very terrifying. Remember when we asked a girl out and she rejected?" the slight shadow of Jotou worried.

"So what? We’ll just tease her back. It’s quite fun and we enjoy her company a lot. If we get rejected, we get rejected. Besides, we have to outsmart-ass her," the blonde smiled.

"Exactly," Jotou chuckled. "So stand for another day. Fight again and again. I’m not giving up on my life. Because my life is mine.

What I choose to do with it, is up to me. And we’ll face the hurdles, we’ll face the traumas. We’ll keep going for another happy moment till our legs give out and when we fall, we’ll stand back up.

I’ve had happy moments that made me smile. Maybe not as happy as others, but these joys are mine, no matter how small or how big," Jotou walked forward and like mirrors, the other two did as well.

"We know our weaknesses," the shadow Jotou held Jotou’s hand.

"We know our strengths," the blonde held Jotou’s other hand.

"And we know how to accept help and take care of ourselves."

"I can’t fear every outcome—I can’t live on spite alone; I just need to be me," the three said as no more figures stood—just Jotou staring into the inky void.

The void exploded into a blast of colour, darkness turning into every colour of light, spiraling and sparkling down in rivers and dust.

"It’s funny. We already have the solutions to our problems, but we somehow still need to find it; fickle thing the mind," Jotou repeated Father Keel’s words.

Her eyes waxed open.