Renegades: Battlegrounds.-Chapter 31: Rooftop Confessions

April 8, 2005 - Same Day,

Lunch Period - Rooftop - 12:51 PM

Ren couldn’t do the cafeteria today maybe not ever again.

The idea of stepping into that room.. the scene of the crime. The place where everything had exploded. Where tables had been destroyed and bodies had collided and his entire life had shifted off its axis.

Just thinking about walking through those doors scared him, seeing the repaired furniture, feeling everyone’s eyes on him again.

No. Not happening.

So he’d grabbed convenience store bread from the hallway vending machine and headed up.

The door was still unlocked. Chain still broken from... whenever someone had broken it. Probably during some previous gang drama that Ren knew nothing about yet.

He pushed it open and stepped out into sunlight. It was empty, quiet save for the wind and distant city sounds.

Ren exhaled and released the tension he didn’t know he’d been carrying in his shoulders.

He walked to the railing, sat with his back against it, stretched out his legs.

He tore open the melon-pan he’d bought from the vending machine and pulled out the plastic sleeve from his jacket pocket.

Kaito’s note. He had put it in a clear plastic document protector to prevent further damage.

He traced the letters through the plastic. "HASEGAWA FUJIMOTO - SAKURA HIGH - THE TRUTH "

"I found Hasegawa. Met him face to face. But the truth? What truth. I’m more confused than ever. "

He bit into his bread, chewed it softly. It didn’t taste as good as it looked but what could he do.

He thought about Hasegawa’s words in the nurse’s office. About how Kaito’s ideals almost got everyone killed and about the hard choices Hasegawa had to make afterwards.

"Two days and fourteen hours until the deadline. " He thought.

"What would you want me to do, Kaito? Would you want me to join them? Or stay away? "

The rooftop door opened behind him and Ren looked up sharply. Haba stepped out, a small lunch bag in hand. Her eyes widened a fraction at the sight of himbut she didn’t back away.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Oh. " She said. "Hey."

"Hey. " Ren replied back.

"Mind if I sit?"

Ren gestured to the empty rooftop. "It’s your school too. "

She smiled faintly and walked over, sat beside him against the railing, leaving a respectful distance between them.

They unwrapped their respective lunches in silence. Ren with his convenience store bread, Hana with what looked like a homemade bento box.

They ate in silence for a while before she finally spoke up.

"You can’t hide forever. " Hana finally said, breaking apart a piece of rolled omelet with her chopsticks.

"I’m not hiding. " Ren muttered. "Just... thinking. "

"About Hasegawa’s offer?"

His head snapped toward her.

"How did.. "

"Everyone knows, Ren. " She gave him a look. "You fought Yuto in the middle of the cafeteria. The entire school knows. Most of the city probably knows."

"So. " Hana tilted her head. "Are you going to join them? "

Ren set down his bread. "I don’t know. I came here for answers. But the more I find out, the more confusing everything gets."

"Yeah. " she murmured. "That’s how gang business works. Never just black and white. "

She pulled a juice box from her lunch, stabbed the straw through the top with more force than necessary.

"My sister knew your brother. " Hana said suddenly.

Ren’s attention sharpened. "Your sister? "

"Aoi. She’s in university now. Studying nursing." Hana picked at her rice. "But back then... she was here. Same class as him, actually. They weren’t friends exactly, but... they talked sometimes. "

"What did she say about him? "

Hana was quiet for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "She said he was kind. Even when he was leading Sakuratei, even when he was fighting and making decisions that put people in danger... he was still kind. Still helped her with homework. He’d still help her with homework and ask about her day and smile. "

"But she also said the gang life changed him. Made him harder, bit by bit. She watched it happen over two years. Watched the kind boy who helped with math problems turn into someone who ordered people into fights. Who made decisions that hurt people. "

She turned to him, eyes steady.

"I don’t want to watch that happen to you."

Something loosened in Ren’s chest. He wasn’t sure what to do with that feeling.

"I appreciate that. But I can’t just walk away. Not until I know what happened to him. "

"I figured you’d say that. " Hana sighed.

She set down her juice box, pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them. Looking smaller suddenly. Less like the tough, street-smart girl who’d grabbed his wrist on day one.

"You know what the worst part is?. " She whispered.

People like Kaito.. good people who join gangs thinking they can change things from the inside, thinking they can make it better, they’re the ones who get hurt the most.. "

"The ones who are already cold, already ruthless? They survive. They thrive. But people with hearts?" She shaked her head. "They get torn apart. "

Ren thought about Hasegawa. The way he’d eaten that apple so casually while discussing violence. The way his jaw had tightened at Kaito’s name, the only crack Ren could find in his armor.

Maybe Hasegawa wasn’t heartless. Maybe he was someone who’d closed the door on his heart a long time ago, and gotten good at pretending it wasn’t there.

"What about you? " Ren asked.

Hana’s eyes flickered. "What about me?"

"You seem to know a lot about gangs. About how they work. Personal experience? "

Hana’s expression shuttered immediately her defensive walls going up.

"I’ve lived in Hanasakura my whole life. You learn things. Pick up on patterns."

But there was something else there. Something she wasn’t saying.

Ren didn’t push. Everyone had secrets.

"Look, I’m not trying to talk you out of it. " Hana added, standing and brushing dust from her skirt. "You’re going to do what you’re going to do. "

"I just... I don’t want another good person getting destroyed by this life. That’s all. "

She picked up her lunch bag, walked toward the door but at the rooftop door she paused.

"And Ren? You’re not alone in this. Remember that."

"Thanks, Hana."

She nodded once, then left. The door closed behind her with a soft click.

Ren sat there for a long moment, staring at the spot where she’d been. "You’re not alone. "

Shiin said the same. Fubuki too.

"What would you have wanted, brother? " Ren thought. "Would you have wanted me to stay away? To live a normal life? Or would you have wanted me to finish what you started? "

"First. " He thought, "I need more information. I need to know what Kaito was investigating. What he found that was worth putting him in a coma. "