Ruthless Alpha, and his Curvy Saint-Chapter 54

Angel’s POV

I was completely absorbed in the book.

The Immense Pleasures of Gloria had started innocently enough - a young woman, sheltered and naive, stepping out into the world for the first time. Making friends, experiencing independence, discovering who she was beyond the strict confines of her upbringing.

I related to Gloria immediately.

The way she questioned everything she’d been taught. The way she looked at the world with wonder and uncertainty. The way she...

"I’m done!"

Lyra’s voice shattered my concentration.

I looked up to find her standing in the middle of my room, already halfway out of the burgundy dress.

"Done with what?" I asked absently, my eyes already drifting back to the page.

"This whole ridiculous charade!" Lyra yanked at the sash, unwinding it with violent efficiency. "Nothing worked. Not the dress, not the conversation, not the strategic positioning at breakfast. He barely looked at me, Angel. Barely acknowledged I existed."

"Don’t give up," I murmured, turning a page.

The dress came off. Lyra stood there in just her shift, looking more like herself without all the padding and gathering.

"That’s it? That’s all you have to say?" She threw the dress onto a chair with more force than necessary. "’Don’t give up?’ Thanks for the groundbreaking advice."

"Mmm."

"I made a complete fool of myself. Talked about weapons I know nothing about. Pretended to be interested in architecture. Even mentioned poetry, for God’s sake, and I hate poetry."

"That’s unfortunate."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Absolutely."

Lyra moved closer, peering at me. "What are you reading that’s so fascinating?"

I tried to hide the book, but I wasn’t fast enough.

Lyra’s eyes went wide as she read the title.

"The Immense Pleasures of Gloria?" Her voice rose an octave. "Angel, where did you find that book?"

"The library," I said, feeling my face heat.

"And you’re reading it?" She looked genuinely shocked. "You. The girl who was about to become a nun. You’re reading that?"

"What’s my nun status got to do with it?" I asked defensively.

"Because that book is sin itself!" Lyra snatched it from my hands before I could stop her, flipping through pages. "Like, literal, actual sin. The kind of sin your priests probably warns about. The kind of sin that gets you..." She stopped, her eyes scanning a page. "Oh my God, you haven’t gotten to this part yet, have you?"

"What part?"

"The part where Gloria discovers how to touch herself. The part where she meets Lorenzo. The part where..." Lyra flipped forward several pages. "Sweet Jesus, I forgot about the scene with the bath oil."

I snatched the book back. "Don’t give me spoilers!"

"Spoilers? Angel, this isn’t that kind of book. It’s not about plot, it’s about..." She gestured helplessly. "It’s about very graphic descriptions of things good Catholic girls aren’t supposed to think about, let alone read in detail."

"I know what the book is about," I lied, praying for forgiveness. "I still want to read it."

Lyra stared at me like I’d grown a second head.

"You... know what it’s about?"

"Yes."

"The explicit parts? The descriptions of... of lovemaking positions?"

"Yes," I repeated, my face now burning so hot I was surprised the book didn’t catch fire.

Lyra studied me for a long moment.

"Who gave you this book?"

"No one. I took it from the library."

"You just randomly picked this particular book from Lord Merrick’s extensive library? This specific one?"

"Yes."

Another lie. Another prayer for forgiveness.

I was racking up quite the collection of sins lately.

Lyra’s expression shifted - doubt mixing with curiosity.

"Angel," she said carefully, "I’ve read this book. Multiple times, actually, because it’s... well, it’s educational in ways my mother certainly never taught me. But it’s also very explicit. Very detailed. Very..." She searched for words. "Very much not for innocent girls who’ve never even been kissed."

"Who says I’ve never been kissed?" I blurted out.

Wrong thing to say.

Lyra’s eyebrows shot up. "Have you?"

"That’s none of your business."

"Oh my God, you have!" She sat down on the bed beside me with enough force to bounce. "When? Who? Was it Uriel? It was Uriel, wasn’t it?"

"Lyra..."

"No, wait, you just told me you met Lord Merrick in the study." Her eyes widened further. "Was it him? Did he kiss you? Is that what happened before you came in here?"

"Nothing happened!"

"Then why are you reading a book about sex?"

The word hung in the air between us.

Sex.

That’s what this book was about.

I’d known, on some level. Had suspected from the title, from Merrick’s meaningful tone when he’d given it to me, from the way my body responded to certain passages even in these early, relatively innocent Chapters.

But hearing it said out loud made it real. Made it something I had to acknowledge instead of pretending I was just reading an educational novel about a young woman’s adventures.

"I’m curious," I admitted finally, quietly. "Is that so terrible?"

Lyra’s expression softened. "No. It’s not terrible at all. It’s actually very normal. I was curious too, which is why I read this exact book when I found it in my father’s study five years ago."

"You read it when you were nineteen?"

"And you’re reading it now at..." She paused. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Then you’re overdue for curiosity." Lyra picked at the bedspread. "But Angel, you need to understand something. This book - it’s not just describing what happens between a man and a woman. It’s describing how it feels. In very explicit detail. And reading it when you’re attracted to someone..." She met my eyes. "It’s going to make you want things. Feel things. Imagine things."

My stomach did a complicated flip.

"That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?" I asked.

"I suppose." She stood, moving to retrieve her regular dress from where she’d left it. "Just be careful. Books like this have a way of creating expectations that reality doesn’t always match."

She started changing, and I returned to my book, though the words swam slightly now that I knew what was coming.

Gloria discovering her body.

Meeting Lorenzo.

And me, reading it all while thinking about...

Who?

Uriel, who’d confessed his feelings this morning?

Or Merrick, who’d given me the book and made me promise to think about him. Even offering to answer any questions I might have? 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

The thought of either of them demonstrating what Gloria was about to learn made heat pool low in my belly in a way that felt decidedly un-nunlike.

Forgive me, I prayed silently. For the lies, the curiosity, the ungodly thoughts, and whatever sins I’m about to commit by reading the rest of this book.

Then I turned the page anyway.

Because apparently, I was going to hell.

But at least I’d be educated when I got there.