Stranger Danger-Chapter 344: Blue Duckweed Flower

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“What are those burial clothes for? Is it something you need to enter the Yin Market?” Peng Hu pointed a thumb at a stall selling all kinds of burial clothes.

“Duh? Who in their right mind would buy burial clothes and paper offerings looking like they scored first place in the imperial exams otherwise?” Mank Ee stared at Peng Hu dubiously. He doesn’t have a screw loose in his head, does he?

A vein popped on Peng Hu’s forehead. I would slap the shit out of you if you weren’t so young!

Ye Qing wasn’t an older man, so he had no qualms slapping Mank Ee on the back of his head. Huh! It feels surprisingly good. No wonder Gu Suitang and Yi Pin couldn’t stop slapping their disciples. “Ahem... what does the burial clothes and paper offering do?”

Mank Ee rubbed his sore spot and answered, “The Yin Market is located in Fengdu; the yin world. Naturally, a living person cannot enter it directly. Trying to force one’s way in is like mixing water and fire. The weaker element would be overwhelmed, or in this case, ejected from the Yin Market.”

“Burial clothes are the clothes of the dead. You only wear it only after you die. Therefore, wearing a set of burial clothes could effectively isolate a living person’s yang qi and allow safe entry into the Yin Market.”

“As for the paper offerings, they’re functionally useless. The only reason people are buying them is to make themselves look better. For example, if you carry two paper dolls with you when you enter the Yin Market, they would transform into the Golden Boy and Jade Maiden and act as your servants. If you carry a paper horse carriage with you, then it’ll turn into a real horse carriage that you can ride in the Yin Market.”

“That’s all though. The items are purely cosmetic, and they won’t help you in any way.” Mank Ee snorted. “But of course, we still sell them because there are always stupid people who can’t resist showing off and looking good.”

“In fact, I noticed that the poorer someone is, the more they care about their appearances. They might be so poor they couldn’t even afford a pair of pants in the yang world, but in the yin market, they’ll make themselves look better than even the actual officials who live in Fengdu. Silk clothes, tall hats, a whole parade of slaves and so on. Seriously, who are they showing off to?”

“You look like you’re speaking from experience.” Ye Qing raised an eyebrow.

“I am!” Mank Ee declared proudly, “To tell you the truth, I entered the Yin Market three times! I know it better than I know my own house!”

“Very good. I expect you to join us in the Yin Market tomorrow!” Ye Qing clapped Mank Ee on the shoulder.

“What? Why? No way!” Mank Ee immediately rejected the suggestion. “It costs a lot of lifespan every time you enter the Yin Market. There’s no way I’m entering that place!”

He was a living person after all. The yin world was full of yin qi, and being in this environment even for a short time was very bad for the body and shortened one’s lifespan.

“From the moment you fell into our hands, you’ve lost the right to refuse our requests!” Chu Nianjiu sneered.

“Hmph! So what?” Mank Ee puffed up his chest and actually moved closer to Chu Nianjiu. “If I enter the Yin Market, I’ll lose my lifespan. If I don’t, the worst I’ll get is a beating. Even an idiot can tell which option is better!”

“Feel like beating me up? Then get on with it already!”

Mank Ee dared to challenge Chu Nianjiu because he knew that the guy wouldn’t dare to kill him. After all, all he did was to try to steal from him. Besides that, he knew from experience that jianghu warriors loathed getting involved with the government in any way. Therefore, they wouldn’t turn him in for his crime either.

His experience told him that the worst he was going to receive was a beating. In fact, a thief who didn’t get beat up at least two or three times per day didn’t deserve to call themselves a thief. That was why he wasn’t afraid.

Things didn’t go the way Mank Ee anticipated, however. As soon as he finished his sentence, Ye Qing raised his hand and slapped him on the back of his head.

Slap! Slap! Slap!

Before Ye Qing could hit him a fourth time, Mank Ee clutched the back of his head and ducked. While staring at the young man in disbelief, he asked, “You actually hit me?”

“Aren’t you the one who asked for it?” Ye Qing said innocently, “Honestly, I’ve never heard such an insane request in my life. I just can’t help but do as you say.”

“Come, brothers. Let’s beat the shit out of him. No need to go too far, of course. A pair of broken arms and legs should be good enough. And oh, and remind me to hand him over to the administrative division after we’re done. Nianjiu, you’re an official yourself. Please inform the magistrate to lock him up for eight to ten years. It’s just harmless theft after all. It’s no big crime.”

Mank Ee’s eyes widened like saucers when he heard this. No need to go too far, just break his arms and legs? It’s just harmless theft, eight to ten years in prison should suffice? Are you even human?

The most important part was Ye Qing calling Chu Nianjiu an official, however. There was no way to know if Ye Qing was lying to him, but if he wasn’t, then Chu Nianjiu absolutely possessed the power to punish him as he pleased!

“Sure!” Chu Nianjiu grinned and cracked his knuckles. That was the final straw that broke Mank Ee’s backbone and dropped him to his knees.

“What was I saying just now? Sorry, my head’s a little dizzy because I drank some yellow wine. Please don’t take what I said earlier seriously.” Mank Ee shook his head a few times. “What were you saying earlier? Oh right, you want to enter the Yin Market. No problem, good men! I’m very familiar with that place. I’m more than willing to guide you if you would accept my service!”

“You shouldn’t drink on the job, brother! You’re likelier to make mistakes that you can’t take back!” Ye Qing smiled. “Don’t worry, we won’t make you work for free. We’ll pay you five silvers after your duty is done.”

“Five silvers?!” Mank Ee’s eyes lit up for the first time. “How generous! At your service, my lords!” You should’ve said it sooner and saved me some brain cells!

“By the way, it looks like you just arrived at our humble village. You haven’t found a place to stay, have you?” Mank Ee asked.

“Nope.” Ye Qing shook his head. “If you find us a place to say, then this silver is yours.”

Ye Qing tossed a silver ingot into Mank Ee’s hands. The thief hurriedly caught it and broke into a wide grin. “Don’t worry, my lords! Just leave this to me! It’s true that every inn in our village is probably full right now, but I have my ways! I take you to a place where you can eat well and sleep well right away! This way, please!”

Mank Ee sauntered forward and took the lead. Behind him, Ye Qing and Chu Nianjiu exchanged knowing smiles with each other.

Mank Ee was a local criminal. If they kept beating him with the stick, then it was only a matter of time before he grew resentful and tried to screw them over. On the other hand, a suitable amount of beating plus a carrot would make him as obedient as a donkey. That was why they had put on that little show earlier.

As expected, Mank Ee didn’t disappoint them. He quickly led them to a farmer’s house.

“This is my sister-in-law’s house, my lords. I guarantee that you’ll be comfortable here. Just speak to my sister-in-law if you need anything. I’ll be leaving to prepare the things you need to enter the Yin Market.”

Mank Ee instructed his sister-in-law to prepare them a warm meal as soon as they entered the house. He himself went away to buy them the items they needed to enter the Yin Market.

Ye Qing wasn’t worried that Mank Ee would run. For one, he was a thief, not a warrior. He most likely didn’t have the balls to pull a great escape. Second, he was greedy as hell. There was no way he would run until he had gotten the five silvers he was promised.

......

Mank Ee didn’t go to the market after leaving his sister-in-law’s house. Instead, he strode through a number of winding alleys until he finally arrived at a shabby-looking grocery store.

“Old Hu, you there?” Mank Ee rapped the counter table with his knuckles while yelling.

“Mank Ee? What brings you here today?” A lazy voice came from behind the counter. It was an old man with a head of white hair and a hunched back. He had to be in his fifties at least.

Mank Ee smiled and answered directly, “We got business to do!”

“Oh? How fat’s the prey?” Old Hu asked.

“Very. They offered me five silvers like it’s nothing. What do you think?” Mank Ee chuckled.

“Oh! That is quite fat.” Old Hu grinned. “Where are they staying?”

“My sister-in-law’s house.”

Old Hu cocked his head to one side. “That’s a daring move. Aren’t you afraid that your sister-in-law might get caught up in this?”

Mank Ee replied in a cool voice, “It won’t happen. My sister-in-law is just an ordinary person. They would never suspect her.” freew(e)bnove(l)

“I need to warn you though. As far as I can tell, everyone in the group is a warrior. You better give it your all!”

Old Hu cracked a yellow-toothed grin at him. “Have I ever failed?”

“That’s true.” Mank Ee laughed. “I look forward to the good news.”

Before Mank Ee left, he added, “By the way, we’re splitting the spoils fifty-fifty as usual. You better not hide anything!”

“Hehe. Do I look like that type of person?” Old Hu chuckled.

“You absolutely do.” Mank Ee sneered.”You think I don’t know that you kept a silver ingot to yourself the last time we worked together?”

“Slander! You were right there with me. How could I have hidden a silver from under your nose?” Old Hu protested his innocence. “Slander me again, and I’m not taking this job!”

“Fine, fine, I was wrong.” Mank Ee sighed. “You know, can’t you come up with a new tactic to threaten me? It’s always the same threat!”

“Why fix something that isn’t broken?” Old Hu chuckled.

“Screw it. I don’t have time to argue with you.” Mank Ee waved him goodbye and said, “I’ll give you the stuff at night.”

“Sure. I can use the cat nap myself.” Old Hu waved Mank Ee off before sitting down on his rocking chair and humming a small tune. He fell asleep soon after.

......

It was night. The moon was bright, and the stars were scarce. Auspicious Phoenix Market slowly regained its tranquility after a whole day of hustle and bustle. Ye Qing’s group had also returned to their rooms after exploring Auspicious Phoenix Market for a bit.

The first thing Ye Qing did after returning to his room was to take out Nanke. Before he could say anything, White Lord and Black Lord turned their heads toward Ye Qing and complained like a resentful housewife, “Finally remember your cute little snakes, master?”

“It’s only been a day!” Ye Qing rolled his eyes. These snakes should’ve been born as actors!

“Anyway, what’s your request this time?” Ye Qing asked directly. “Should I sing another song for you?”

“No!”

“Don’t!”

Both snakes blurted at the same time. Most people’s singing deserved at least a coin or two. But Ye Qing’s singing was the opposite. It robbed his audience of their lifespan!

“What? Do you hate my singing that much?” Ye Qing cocked his head smilingly.

“O-Of course not!” White Lord racked its brain for a suitable answer. “Your singing is too good for this mortal coil, so good that we couldn’t forget about it even if we tried. Last night’s singing alone is enough to last us for thirty to fifty years, so really, there’s no need.”

“Yeah, yeah! Also, it’s almost midnight. You don’t want to disturb your neighbors, do you? And what about the plants and livestock? They need their beauty sleep too!” Black Lord hurriedly echoed in agreement, its tone was as sincere as it could be.

“In that case... fine!” Ye Qing shrugged. He was just joking. The first time was just a freebie. He knew that Black Lord and White Lord wouldn’t make an easy request this time. “So? What’s your request?”

White Lord flicked its tongue and answered, “We want a Blue Duckweed Flower.”