Stray Cat Strut-Chapter Twenty-Five - Kawaii Kitty Kohai Kicking

Chapter Twenty-Five - Kawaii Kitty Kohai Kicking

"Unfortunately, because of reasons beyond my control, Smash or Pass Samurai edition will have to be cancelled."

--Vtuber BirbKnife during a 2038 stream

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Nya wasn't focusing on me. It took me a stupid amount of time to realize it, but she wasn't targeting me directly. She'd move in, swipe--why did she have claws?--then put just enough pressure on me to pull me away from the others before pouncing back onto them.

It meant that at some point, maybe a minute into the fight, I was the last one standing, and I wasn't intact. I'd eaten a pair of kicks to the chest and a tail swipe across the face that felt like a mean bitch slap.

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"You're not so bad, nya!" the weirdo said. She walked around me in a big circle, forcing me to constantly shift my stance so that I'd be ready when she rushed in. Her tail swung low behind her, like a playful cat's, and her little ears twitched. "But you're still just a little kitty! So kawaii!"

"Oh, fuck off," I growled. Who the fuck was this bitch anyway?

"Nya!" the freak screamed as she leapt at me.

Then I was moving backwards, avoiding quick swipes and flat-handed jabs aimed at my throat. Nya went high, then swept in low and tried to get in under my guard.

I shifted my stance, legs going wide for a moment before I tried to move in to clock her in the face with an elbow, but Nya didn't just sit there, she threw herself to the side, rolled, bounced up to her feet, then used her momentum to spin into a roundhouse.

Everything I knew about martial arts and street fighting told me that she was being wasteful and flashy as fuck. And none of that mattered because she was so fucking fast.

I gritted my teeth and caught the kick on my forearm, then stumbled back from the blow. That had caught my fleshy arm, not the cybernetic one, and it hurt like a bitch.

"Slow slow, nya! You need to be fast and flexible, little kitty! Show me your tummy!"

This bitch is crazy.

"Myalis, could use a distraction," I muttered.

Here, try this.

I caught something out of the air, then flung it hard at the samurai.

She caught it in one hand, then blinked to stare at it. I stared too while sucking air in to catch my breath. It was a large ball of yarn.

"Nya haha!" the woman laughed. "A gift!"

"Fucking..." I started, then she was on me again, I blocked, weaved under a strike, stumbled back from a kick, then cursed some more as Nya rolled in mid-air to bring her heel down near me in an axe-kick out of some shitty video game.

Nya swept up before me, and started to try and... pinch my cheeks? I slapped her arms away, then again, then again, all the while backing away and trying to get a few quick snap-kicks in to break her footing, but she was always a step to the side whenever I tried to strike out.

Speedware? Some sort of stupid enhancements? I clenched my jaw until my teeth hurt and pushed myself to move faster.

I had an idea.

It wasn't a very good one.

Nya batted a swing aside, then grabbed my wrist and started to pull me forwards, which is what I wanted.

She lifted me off the ground and spun, prepping for a pretty standard grapple throw. I reached out towards her face with my cybernetic arm and met her eyes even as she flung me across the room.

Which is about the time that my arm opened up and revealed the grenade launcher built into it.

Nya's eyes widened comically, but the madwoman just smiled wider.

Then I hit the ground back-first and coughed as the air was knocked out of me.

She came to stand before and above me, blinking down. "You didn't shoot?" she asked.

"Loaded with high explosive," I said. "Would have blasted the whole room."

"Nyaaawww," she said sweetly. "So considerate! But don't worry! I would have been just fine!"

"I was thinking more the other students," I grumbled.

"Oh... yes, Nya would have fixed them. But it's okay! I would have caught the bullet." She mimed catching a grenade out of the air and tossing it into her mouth. "Om nom nyam!"

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I pointed at her. "Cringe," I said.

Nya recoiled, and I think I had just delivered the hardest blow against her yet.

I kind of had two options. Shit all over this weirdo or try to be the bigger person. I was very very tempted to do the former. But I wasn't an angry fourteen year old with everything to prove, so I reached my flesh arm up while my other reconfigured itself back to normal. "Help me up?" I asked.

She grabbed my hand and soon I was back on my feet and dusting off my gym shorts. "I'm Nya! Hajimemashite!"

"Yeah, you too," I said to whatever that meant. I was about to ask her a few things, but Professor Rogers clapped his hands. "Thank you, Samurai Nya, for that demonstration. I'm sure everyone learned a valuable lesson today."

"Ah! Yes. Thank you for having me as your sensei," Nya said. She bowed.

Most of the class was still sprawled out across the floor in various states of pain and incapacitation.

"Oopsy! Nya! Let's fix your guys up?"

I stepped back as Nya started to circle the room, helping people up and passing out a mix of cat-themed band-aids and what looked like nano-regeneratives in a smaller, more compact form than what I was used to.

She bowed and apologized profusely to one of the bigger students whose arm she'd smashed up, then she summoned up a box (it was, unsurprisingly, covered in chibi cats and the word 'Nya' about a thousand times) which she handed to the student. He looked happy with the exchange overall, and I couldn't blame him. Nya's tech looked like it was a tier or so above mine, at least.

It didn't take long for class to be dismissed after that. I still wanted to talk to Nya, but she seemed willing to linger around the professor for a bit, so I ran off and got changed, skipping the shower entirely.

When I stepped out, I found Nya waiting for me nearby, arms crossed, tail swaying. She wasn't paying attention too much, which finally gave me a chance to look her over. Nya was half a head shorter than me, with a padded bodysuit on, all in blacks and greys with a few subtle highlights. Black hair, narrowed eyes, a tiny nose. Kind of cute, but a bit old for my tastes. Like, she was at least in her thirties.

She was wearing a small coat too, the sort that stopped mid-torso. It was lined with fur and somehow tied in her furry ears and cat tail together.

Was there someone like Emoscythe out there badgering Nya as well?

"Hey," I said as I walked over.

"Hi!" she said as she snapped to attention. Her hands darted out and grabbed onto mine. "I'm very excited to finally meet my kohai!"

"Your... what?" I asked.

"Kohai! It means cute little junior," Nya said. "You're a Catmurai, just like me! But since I'm the older cooler one, I'm the senpai."

I blinked, then shook my head. "Nope."

"Nyope?"

"Nope," I agreed. "First of all, using the word 'Catmurai' should be a crime of some sort. Second, I don't need a... senpai. I'm doing well enough on my own."

"Aw! The kohai is cute and thinks she has it figured out! But she forgets that Nya does what she wants!" Nya said. She stuck her tongue out at me, then her posture shifted to something a little more serious. "I didn't mean to barge into your class, but I met your Professor and he asked. I thought it might be a fun idea! But I did come all this way to see you!"

"Okay, but why?" I asked.

Nya snapped her fingers. "Because making friends is important!"

"I have plenty," I said.

"Because... having powerful allies is useful!" She snapped her fingers again.

"Got some of those."

Nya snapped her fingers, then after a pause, half-turned and pinched her chin. "One sec, Nya needs to think... oh!" She snapped again. "Because I want to!"

"You tried that one already, and I shot it down, I think."

She pouted. "But I came all this way! I can't just slink back home with my cat tail stuck between my cat legs. That's shameful. Everyone at the Keiretsu will make fun of poor Nya."

"Wait, you're one of the Keiretsu samurai?" I asked.

"Yup!"

Perfect. I could call her boss and foist her off onto him.

New Montreal didn't need more than one stray cat wandering around.

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