Surviving marriage in yandere world-Chapter 74: Yandere Cold War

It began at breakfast.

"From now on, Rei’s toast shall only be buttered on the north side of the mansion," Seraphina declared, dramatically planting her gilded rapier into the dining table like a diplomat laying down a treaty.

Drakana countered with a smirk, sliding a map across the table. "Then I claim the southern wing. He sleeps by the dragon-engraved windows. For his protection, obviously."

Lucivella conjured a black rose of demonic smoke. "West wing is mine. I need privacy to test honeymoon simulations alone with Rei and Multiple timelines. Don’t question it."

Rosette appeared from the shadows with five miniature flags and stabbed them silently into the eastern corridors. Her cold eyes sparkled like steel. "I already trapped that section. Please avoid triggering the ’Marry Me or Die’ runes."

And Lilia, smiling with saintly innocence, held up a scroll longer than Rei’s life expectancy. "I, Duchess Lilia von Heartveil, hereby enact the Holy Edict of Mutual Engagement Protection. Clause 73: The center hall—and Rei—is my divine property from 7am to 7pm, with cuddles mandatory every third hour."

Rei, sitting between them with a spoon half-raised to his lips, blinked.

"...Did I just get partitioned like a watermelon?"

The duchy was officially in a state of Yandere Cold War.

[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: REGIONAL OCCUPATION DETECTED]

[New Feature Unlocked: ’Yandere Territory Control!’]

[Each fiancée now governs a zone of romantic influence. Expect random border skirmishes, petty sabotage, and weaponized lingerie.]

[Mission Update: Survive Until Dinner Without Causing an International Incident.]

[Reward: One (1) extra pillow for hiding under.]

The mansion’s floor plan now resembled a war map from a very emotionally compromised strategy game.

There were:

Border checkpoints (complete with affection inspections).

Love taxation policies ("Five forehead kisses a day or pay in cake.").

Romantic surveillance squads (also known as Rosette’s spy cats in tiny hats).

And propaganda posters featuring Rei smiling awkwardly beside slogans like "Vote Lilia: The Snuggle Queen!" or "Lucivella—She’ll literally consume your soul with love!"

Rei tried hiding in the greenhouse. The plants sympathized.

Too bad the girls rotated schedules like synchronized tyrants.

First Shift: Drakana

"Time for the flame-forged bonding ritual," the dragoness purred, dragging Rei (and half a bed frame) into the southern wing. "You must sit with me in molten hot milk for ninety-nine minutes."

"It’s milk," Rei gasped, already sweating through his shirt, "but it’s boiling!"

"It’s symbolic," she cooed. "Purification. And also—it makes your skin nice."

He barely survived. The milk was strawberry-scented. Rei would never smell breakfast cereal the same again.

Second Shift: Seraphina

"Royal grooming hour begins now!" she declared, wheeling in fifty silver brushes.

"You’re brushing me like a show pony!" Rei protested.

"You are a prize stallion, and I shall parade you at next week’s Ball of Beaus."

He had glitter in his ears for days.

Third Shift: Lucivella

"We shall review three centuries of demon wedding traditions. And by ’review,’ I mean ’reenact.’ In full costume."

Rei blinked in horror. "This robe is made of goat hair and... is that a tail?"

Lucivella grinned. "It’s a recreation from the Bloody Moon Matrimony of Era 764. You may scream for authenticity."

He did.

Fourth Shift: Rosette

She said nothing, just handed him a spoon. Then pointed to the five-course meal on the table. Carved into a meat sculpture of Rei’s face.

"This is your liver," she whispered, slicing into the roast. "Made with love."

Rei chewed slowly. And prayed harder.

Fifth Shift: Lilia

"Time for cuddles!"

"Already?! We just did this three hours ago!"

She smiled sweetly. "Clause 73.1.B: Emergency cuddles authorized upon elevated stress."

"How did you even—wait, are you monitoring my heart rate?"

She patted his chest. "That’s what the love rune necklace is for!"

[SYSTEM ALERT: Rei’s sanity levels dangerously low]

[Suggested Action: Pretend to be a potted plant.]

[Bonus Tip: Plants can’t be fiancés.]

Even the royal palace noticed.

The King himself sent a diplomatic envoy. A tall, broad-shouldered man in full regalia arrived with an official scroll and read it aloud:

"To Rei Velden, future heartthrob of the realm: Please... pick one. The treasury can’t survive five simultaneous royal weddings."

The letter exploded seconds later—Lucivella’s security curse.

The envoy screamed. Then sighed. "I knew this job would kill me. I just hoped it’d be taxes."

Meanwhile, in the Chapel of Peace...

Rei stumbled in, robes tattered, eyeliner still leftover from Demon Wedding Roleplay Hour.

"I’d like to file for emotional support status."

The priest paused. "Ah Another one."

He handed Rei a form titled ’Victims of Polyamorous Nobility’ and a cup of calming lavender tea.

Then the roof exploded.

"I claim this chapel as my sanctuary wing!" Seraphina shouted, sword drawn.

"Over my undead bouquet!" Lucivella countered.

Lilia wept while writing "Rei + Lilia = Eternal Bliss" in holy chalk across the altar.

Drakana set the podium on fire. Rosette just stood there holding a bridal net and smiling.

[SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT: YANDERE COLD WAR: DAY 5]

[Rei’s Status: Technically Alive and Mentally... pending.]

[Negotiation Mission Unlocked: Convince All Five Yanderes To Not Kill Each Other Over Breakfast.]

[Reward: One blessed croissant.]

Later that night, Rei lay in bed. Or rather, what was left of his bed after five personalized pillow "gifts" from each girl had crushed it under sheer emotional weight.

He stared at the ceiling.

"I used to dream of peace," he whispered.

A mechanical voice rang in his ear:

[SYSTEM RESPONSE: Peace is unavailable in your region. Would you like to try ’Desperate Polygamy Survival Mode’ instead?]

He threw the pillow at the wall. It hit a hidden rune and triggered the Romantic Fireworks Protocol. The ceiling rained pink glitter hearts. He sighed.

"I miss being in a coma."

The glitter hearts didn’t stop. They just kept falling.

Rei lay there, unmoving, arms splayed out like a martyr beneath a ceiling that wouldn’t shut up. It was midnight.

Somewhere in the mansion, a love ballad played softly on enchanted violins. The kind of haunting melody that could only mean one thing: Lilia was writing poetry again.

He tried turning over—but found his entire left side was now spooning with a pillow embroidered with Drakana’s scale pattern and the words: "MY HOARD."

"...That’s not healthy," Rei whispered into the darkness.

Just then, a faint creak echoed near the wardrobe. He sat up like a startled meerkat.

"Who’s there?"

Silence.

Then a faint giggle. A very dangerous one. Rosette stepped out, dressed in her usual maid uniform but with a veil made of spider silk draped over her hair.

"Midnight ceremony practice," she said softly.

"There are no midnight ceremonies."

"There are now."

Before he could flee, Lucivella’s demonic portal opened beside the bed, glowing with violet flames.

"You didn’t recite the Vow of Sleep-Bound Souls," she said, crawling through like a succubus with perfect timing. "This void between dreams is our honeymoon chamber."

Then the door to the hall opened. Lilia stood there in an oversized nightgown, holding a clipboard, a love thermometer, and a teddy bear modeled after Rei.

"Clause 74: If nighttime heart rate exceeds 120 bpm, cuddles must be administered immediately."

Drakana arrived through the window, landing on all fours like a prowling dragonpanther.

"You forgot your warm milk, mate."

And Seraphina kicked down the door. "I bring royal blankets, woven from unicorn hair and scented with royal decree!"

Rei slowly backed up against the headboard as the room filled with beautiful, glowing, insane women—all holding different tools of love enforcement.

[SYSTEM WARNING: Intimacy Overload Detected]

[Risk of Snuggle Collapse: 87%]

[New Passive Skill Unlocked: Pillow Evade Lv. 2]

In a final act of self-preservation, Rei lunged for the dumbwaiter in the corner—a tiny servant elevator he had once gotten stuck in during Escape Plan Alpha.

"I regret nothing!" he cried, squeezing himself inside.

The doors slammed shut.

Silence.

He panted in the darkness, clutching his knees. The only sound was the distant squabbling of territorial yanderes and the occasional pop of magical glitter.

Then the dumbwaiter began to move—on its own. Up Rei’s eye twitched.

"...I didn’t press anything."

The elevator groaned ominously before arriving at the Secret Observation Room, which the System helpfully labeled:

[PRIVATE: YANDERE ESPIONAGE CONTROL CHAMBER]

The door opened automatically.

Inside was a cozy, cushion-lined chamber full of surveillance crystals, romantic probability charts, and a stack of "Rei Emergency Escape Protocols" designed by—oddly enough—Rosette.

She stood inside, sipping tea.

"I figured you’d come here."

"You’ve planned this."

She nodded.

"I even scheduled your panic attack. It’s in my diary. Page 37."

Rei sighed and flopped onto the floor, defeated.

"Rosette... do you ever get tired of this?"

She tilted her head. "Tired of what? Being madly in love with you to the point of calculated insanity?"

He blinked. "...Yes?"

"No," she said firmly.

Then handed him a muffin with his face carved into the top.

[SYSTEM TIP: When all else fails, accept the muffin.]

He took a bite. It tasted like sugar and resignation. Rosette gave a rare, tiny smile.

Then, to his horror, four more shadows loomed at the door—each fiancée holding their own version of Rei-themed snacks, having followed his System panic signal like bloodhounds on an emotional trail.

"I call this ’Soul Soufflé,’" Lucivella said proudly.

"Mine’s a ’Love-Laced Lava Cake,’" Drakana added, setting it down with enough heat to melt the table.

"Behold: Royal Fruit of Devotion Tart," Seraphina declared, lifting a golden dome with a flourish.

Lilia beamed. "I baked a heart-shaped pie! It bleeds strawberry filling when you cut it!"

Rei just stared at them at all of them.

And then, with the quiet acceptance of a man who had truly lost all control of his own life, he reached for a spoon.

"Let’s share."

They blinked in surprise then beamed.

Then chaos happened anyway, because they began fighting over which dessert would enter his mouth first.

[SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT: YANDERE COLD WAR: STATUS—ESCALATING]

[Rei’s Status: Full And Still Doomed.]

To be continued...