Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 170: And How Does That Make You Feel?

Ren watched, wide-eyed, as the crystal-clear tear dissolved into her skin.

A cool, tingling sensation washed over her ankle, chasing away the hot, throbbing ache of the sprain. It felt like sticking her foot in a bucket of minty ice water.

"Whoa," Ren breathed.

She watched in disbelief as the angry purple bruising faded before her eyes, turning from violet to yellow to normal skin tone in seconds. The swelling deflated like a punctured balloon.

She wiggled her toes. No pain. She rotated her ankle. No resistance. She poked the spot where the bone had definitely almost snapped. Nothing.

"Phoenix tears," Ren whispered, staring at the bird with awe. "You’re like Fawkes from Harry Potter! But...an eagle!"

The Golden Eagle, having dispensed its magical medical treatment, simply turned around and waddled back to the entrance of the hollow. It sat down, spread its wet wings again, and resumed its silent vigil.

Ren sat there, flexing her foot. She was healed. Completely.

"Well," Ren muttered, a mix of gratitude and annoyance bubbling in her chest. "That is... really cool. Thank you."

She paused, frowning slightly.

"But you kind of ruined my plan," she told the bird. "I was going to use that limp. I was going to be a tragic, hobbling victim so my husbands would stop trying to kill each other to carry me."

She sighed.

’Plan B it is,’ Ren decided. ’I’ll just pretend to be terribly sick. I’ll cough. I’ll wheeze. I’ll swoon.’

She looked at the curtain of rain falling outside.

’I could go stand out there for five minutes,’ she mused. ’Get a fresh dose of the flu? Maybe a fever?’

She shook her head immediately.

’No. With my luck, I wouldn’t get a cute, damsel-in-distress fever. I’d get pneumonia. I’d die.’

It was best to stick to acting. Surely, she could play a sick person.

Ren shifted in the nest, getting comfortable. Her eyes drifted back to the eagle.

It was looking at her again.

Ren pulled her knees to her chest, feeling self-conscious under its intense silver gaze.

"Stop staring," Ren mumbled, smoothing down her messy, wet hair. "I know I look like a swamp witch."

The bird’s head tilted slightly, as if analyzing the creature that had invaded its home.

Ren sighed. The silence was getting loud. And when silence got loud, Ren got talkative.

"Sorry for the mess," Ren apologized, gesturing to her general existence. "I promise I usually clean up nice. I own a restaurant, you know."

The bird stared.

"I’m Ren," she introduced herself, pointing to her chest. "I’m a human. And a top Michelin Star chef. From another world."

She waited for a reaction. Nothing.

"I died," Ren continued casually, picking a piece of moss off her leg. "Dave—my sous-chef, total idiot—tripped over a cooler and knocked me into a ravine. Splat. Dead. And then I woke up here, under a giant leaf, two moons ago."

She paused, smiling to herself. "Two moons. Not months. See? I’m learning the lingo."

The eagle remained stoic. A statue of golden feathers.

"You’re the only one who knows all that, by the way," Ren admitted, her voice softening. "I haven’t told the others. They wouldn’t get it."

She leaned back against the soft side of the nest. It felt good to say it out loud.

"My life is a mess," Ren told the bird. "I have two husbands...well, technically mates. One is a White Tiger King named Kael. He’s sweet and super muscular, but he has the IQ of a golden retriever. The other is a Snake King named Syris. He’s gorgeous, but he’s a narcissist who is kind of controlling."

She huffed. "And they want to kill each other. Over me. Can you believe that? This stupid Rite of the Severed Fang. It’s barbaric!"

Ren waved her hand. "And then there’s Vex. The fox. He’s annoying. He’s a liar. But he saved me from a poop pit and is a damn good doctor, so I guess he’s sort of okay?"

She looked at the bird.

The bird blinked slowly.

"And don’t get me started on the System," Ren groaned, looking up at the wooden ceiling of the hollow. "It’s this magical voice in my head. It’s supposed to help me, but mostly it just judges me. It’s a sassy bitch."

[System: I am right here, Host.]

Ren ignored it.

"I’m in debt," Ren whispered conspiratorially to the eagle. "Survival Points. I owe thousands. But I have a quest. If I can get the Tiger and the Snake to be friends—or at least not murder each other—I get 50,000 points."

She chewed her lip. "I’m optimistic. Mostly. But... I have my doubts. They really hate each other. And my acting skills...I don’t know."

She frowned. "What if I can’t fake it? What if I look too healthy? What if they see me walking normally and decide it’s fighting time?"

Ren’s eyes widened. A lightbulb went on.

"Wait," she gasped. "This forest is full of weird stuff."

She looked at the bird with a devious grin.

"Maybe I can find a plant that actually makes me sick?" Ren plotted. "Just for a little bit. Something that makes me vomit on command or turn green? That would really sell the performance."

She giggled. "Project Puke is a go."

The bird stared at her. If it could roll its eyes, Ren felt like it would have.

"You’re a good listener," Ren told it sincerely, her smile turning soft. "Really. Best conversation I’ve had in a while. You haven’t tried to mate with me or eat me. It’s refreshing."

She felt lighter. The weight of the secrets she had been carrying—her death, her past life, the System—felt a little less heavy now that she had dumped them onto a bird.

Growl.

Ren’s stomach protested loudly.

"Right," Ren muttered, rubbing her belly. "Chatting burns calories."

"The inventory is the System’s only actual usefulness," Ren explained to the bird as she held out her hand. "It’s like a magical purse that never gets full."

Pop.

Three electric blue berries appeared in her palm. They glowed faintly in the dim light of the hollow.

Ren picked one up, ready to pop it into her mouth. Then she paused.

She looked at the bird. It had saved her from a bear. It had let her crash in its pad. It had healed her ankle with magic tears.

The least she could do was pay rent.

She held out her hand, offering the berries to the majestic creature.

"Do you want some?"