Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 272: Is This What a Stroke Feels Like?

"WHAT?!"

Ren’s furious scream echoed through the pitch-black canopy of the forest, startling a flock of unseen birds into the night sky.

But apparently, her deafening outburst had also deeply disturbed the local furniture.

The large, flat ’rock’ she was sitting on suddenly lurched beneath her.

Ren gasped, her arms flailing wildly as the solid stone suddenly stood up.

A low grunt rumbled from beneath her. It wasn’t a rock at all. It was a massive spurred tortoise. Deeply annoyed by the loud female on its shell, the giant reptile shifted its scaly back at a steep angle, tossing Ren straight off. 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶

She landed face-first in the dirt with a pathetic thud.

With deliberate slowness, the giant tortoise turned its wrinkled, judgmental head to give her a scathing side-eye, before slowly and heavily trotting away into the thick fern bushes.

Ren just sat there in the dirt, her mouth hanging completely open in disbelief. She stared blankly at the bushes long after the turtle had disappeared. ’What the hell?!’

Shaking her head, Ren scrambled back to her feet, aggressively brushing the loose leaves and dirt from her silk dress.

Her exhaustion-fueled frustration came roaring back in full force.

"Why didn’t you say anything?!" Ren yelled, throwing her hands up into the air. "If we passed the path to the swamp miles ago, why did you just let me keep walking?!"

Viper’s eyes widened slightly. Instead of answering her perfectly reasonable question, he immediately began to aggressively gesture with his hands. He pointed to his own mouth, crossed his muscular arms in a giant ’X’, pointed sharply at Ren, and then mimed walking backward.

Ren stared at him. A deep, agonizing look of absolute confusion, irritation, and sheer frustration twisted her features.

Viper tried again. He tapped his lips, aggressively shook his head, and then pointed at the moon.

"What are you doing?!" Ren shrieked, wanting to pull her red hair out by the roots. "I cannot understand a single thing you are trying to say! Are we playing charades right now?! Just say it! Use your words!"

Viper let out a heavy sigh, dropping his hands to his sides. He finally spoke.

"I didn’t say anything because you ordered me not to speak for the rest of the night," Viper explained, his tone entirely serious. "You are my King’s chosen mate. If you give me a direct order and I disobey you, my king will behead me for sure."

Ren froze.

She could feel a massive, throbbing migraine blooming right behind her eyes. She reached up and aggressively massaged her temples. She couldn’t even argue with him. She had, in fact, said that no one was allowed to say a single word for the rest of the night.

’His unwavering loyalty is really, really annoying sometimes,’ Ren thought.

"Fine," Ren sighed for the billionth time that night, desperately trying to ignore the deep, burning ache in her calves and the lingering soreness between her thighs. "Let’s turn back, then."

Viper immediately rushed past her, eagerly taking the lead this time. He could clearly see that his King’s mate was deeply disappointed in him, and he genuinely didn’t understand why. He had done exactly as she commanded!

Desperate to cheer her up, Viper looked over his shoulder.

"Do not worry," Viper promised, his tone lightening just a fraction. "I took the absolute best boat from the swamp for you. It has the softest furs. You will really like it."

Ren managed to force a small, exhausted smile onto her face. She really was just so incredibly tired. She didn’t even care about the quality of the boat; she just wanted to lie down and sleep for the next three days.

They trekked back through the dense foliage, retracing their steps for what felt like an eternity. Finally, the trees began to thin out, giving way to a large, soft grass clearing that sloped gently down toward the muddy banking of the massive swamp.

Because there was no thick canopy to block the sky here, the silver moon shone incredibly bright, illuminating the dark, glassy water of the marsh.

And there, sitting completely idle in a beautifully crafted wooden boat some distance from the shore, was Vex.

The Fox Shaman was leaning back casually against the softest pile of luxury furs. The moonlight caught his bright orange hair and his devastatingly wicked smirk. Behind him, three incredibly fluffy orange tails swished back and forth with giddy excitement.

When he spotted them emerging from the tree line, Vex raised a hand and waved with a wide, arrogant grin.

"Thanks for the boat, Viper!" Vex called out cheerfully.

With a few effortless, powerful strokes of the wooden oars, Vex began rowing away.

Ren stood entirely dumbfounded on the grass.

"Hey!" Ren screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice echoing violently across the still water. "That’s our boat, you thief!"

Viper was absolutely livid. His fangs fully descended, dropping past his bottom lip as he stepped into the shallow mud.

"My King will hear of this!" Viper threatened furiously. "You are a dead fox!"

Vex’s dark, velvety laughter echoed loudly across the open swamp, taunting them both. He didn’t even stop rowing.

"Your King can kiss my furry ass!" Vex shouted back happily over his shoulder.

With a few more strokes, the Fox Shaman and his stolen luxury vessel disappeared completely into the distant, foggy reeds, leaving them stranded on the muddy shore.

"Get back here, you asshole!" Ren screamed after him, her voice cracking with pure rage.

She groaned loudly, burying her face in her hands. Her chest was heaving heavily as she tried to catch her breath. The overwhelming stress of the evening was finally catching up to her.

"Viper," Ren wheezed, rubbing her right shoulder. "I think I might be having a stroke. I am feeling a really sharp pain running straight up my right arm."

She couldn’t even remember which arm meant a stroke and which one meant a heart attack, but something was happening.

Completely defeated, Ren stumbled over to a large, smooth rock resting on the grassy bank. She just wanted to sit down and cry.

But the second her bottom touched the stone, the rock shifted violently beneath her.

With a low, irritated grunt, the rock stood up on four scaly legs, completely throwing her right back down into the dirt, and casually walked off toward the water. It was another spurred tortoise.

Sitting in the damp grass, completely stranded at the edge of a freezing swamp, Ren threw her head back and screamed at the moon.

"Why are all the damn rocks turtles tonight?!"