The Bride He Hates-Chapter 105: Crown Vs Compassion
Azrael took a deep breath and started speaking.
"I was wrong."
Lyanna blinked, clearly not expecting him to start from there.
"About Emma." Azrael continued. "About stopping you from helping her, about the things I said afterwards, about calling you reckless, sentimental and too human. About everything."
He stepped closer. She didn’t step back, but didn’t step towards him either.
"I was terrified. I was terrified of losing control of the situation. I was scared of what vampire law would demand if you accidentally turned her. I was scared of the political consequences and how it would look to the council. I took that fear out on you instead of acknowledging it."
His hands were shaking again. He clenched them to hide it, but failed.
"I made it about your disobedience instead of my fear. I called your compassion a flaw. I called you reckless when you were brave, called you emotional when you were just being compassionate and called you too human as if that’s a weakness, when it’s a strength I don’t have."
Lyanna kept her expression neutral, but her eyes were wet.
"I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For all the things I said. For hurting you." His words were sincere.
Lyanna wanted to forgive him immediately. She wanted to close the distance between them and say ’It’s okay, we can start over, I believe you.’
But she couldn’t because this wasn’t just about one apology anymore.
"You are right, you were wrong." Lyanna said. Her voice was steady though her hands trembled as well. "But Azrael, it’s not just about being wrong. It’s about who you become when you’re scared."
"What do you mean?" Azrael asked, though he already knew.
"When you’re terrified of losing control, when something challenges your authority, when you feel threatened... you become a monster. You become cruel and lash out at the people closest to you. You say unforgivable things."
"I can change..."
"Really? Or will you just be better at hiding it until the next crisis? Will you be honest when things are calm and then revert to being the controlling king when pressure comes?"
"I’ve been a king for hundreds of years." Azrael said. "Sometimes kings have to make difficult choices that..."
"Don’t make this about duty and kingship." Lyanna cut him off. "That situation wasn’t some complicated political decision. That was about a dying child and your lack of compassion. You valued political stability over a child’s life."
"And you valued one life over the stability of our entire society!" Azrael’s voice rose, his control was slipping. "Do you still not understand what could have happened if you had accidentally turned her? According to the vampire law, turned children must be executed because child vampires are unstable and dangerous.
You could have forced me to execute a nine-year-old! You could have made me the exact monster you accuse me of being!"
"I know. I made a decision without properly understanding the consequences." Lyanna confessed. "And I’m sorry for that. But I saved her! She is alive and human!"
"You were lucky! The situation wouldn’t have arose, if you had just obeyed!"
Lyanna’s expression changed instantly. 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞
"Obeyed? I’m your wife, not your subject!" She shouted.
"You’re my queen!" Azrael shouted back. "That comes with responsibilities you keep ignoring! Lyanna, please understand, you can’t just do whatever you want. There are consequences. There is..."
"Control, right? There’s your need to control everything and everyone, including me."
"That’s not what I’m saying..."
"You think I should have obeyed. You think my role as queen means submission to your authority."
They were both arguing again about the same topic that had separated them, just with slightly different words.
"You still don’t understand." She said calmly. All the anger was drained and replaced by resignation in her voice. "You think I was wrong to save her."
"I think you were reckless. You acted without complete information." He replied.
Lyanna laughed bitterly and walked to one of the broken windows, looking out at the mountains stretching between Thornfield and Valdris.
"I’ve been in Valdris for weeks." She said, her back to him. "And you want to know what I realized?"
"What?"
"I miss being human."
Azreal froze.
"I miss the simplicity. I miss caring about the small things like gardens and books . I miss conversations where every word doesn’t carry kingdom-wide consequences. I miss relationships that are just about connection instead of strategy."
She turned to face him.
"At Thornfield, everything is life or death, power and survival. Every decision is strategic, every relationship is political and every choice has consequences that affect thousands of lives. Even our marriage has become about politics and the succession game. And honestly, I’m exhausted, Azrael."
Azrael looked devastated.
"And Roland is offering you this simplicity? He is offering you what you desperately miss and want?" He asked in his broken voice.
Lyanna nodded.
"He is."
"He is giving you a life without complications. A life where there will be no pressure of being a perfect queen, without the burden of making impossible choices and without having to worry about being a proper vampire?"
"Yes. A life where I can just be myself." Lyanna replied. "Where caring about a dying child doesn’t create political crises, where compassion is valued instead of seen as weakness and where I can be exactly who I am without apologizing for it."
"With him?"
"I don’t know yet. But what I do know is that I can’t go back to Thornfield. I can’t go back to being your queen and feel unfit every day. I can’t go back to a marriage where my humanity is the problem we’re constantly trying to fix."
"I don’t think your humanity is a problem..." Azrael started, but even he could hear how hollow it sounded.
"You do." Lyanna replied. "Maybe not consciously. Maybe you tell yourself you love my compassion but when there is a real crisis, when my humanity conflicts with your strategy, you resent it."
Azrael stood there as if she had just killed him. Because they both knew it was somewhat true.
