The Celestial Phoenix Has Too Much Lust-Chapter 35: The System actually wants a p*rn magazine
Morse looked around, still suffering slightly from the aftermath of last night’s drunken battle. His lungs felt congested from the heavy smoke, but he managed to clear it using his spiritual energy until he felt better and his breathing returned to normal. 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎
As for the System notifications displayed before him, he could only focus on the new feature: the Gacha. He certainly wouldn’t enter the store right now, only to be shocked by the prices of Transcendence-level tools, which surely required ten years of hard labor to afford.
The Gacha prices were also steep. He had managed to accumulate over 15,000 points, but had already spent about 4,000. This made gambling feel like a double risk. After all, he didn’t pick these points off of trees.
He turned his attention away from the Gacha and focused on the words "Consciousness Upgrade."
"Does this mean the System can now think like a human?"
[Greetings, Host. This is the Supreme Yin-Yang System. I am here to assist you.]
"Assist, huh? Explain exactly what you can do... as a consciousness comparable to a human."
{I am an assistant who shares the Host’s way of thinking. I can recommend products, offer advice, and... accept gifts.}
"Accept gifts? This is the first time I’ve heard of a system that accepts gifts. Usually, you’re the one who’s supposed to give me gifts."
{Let me be frank with you... we should be in a symbiotic relationship. Just as I assist you, you should provide me with gifts.}
"Bribery? So, you’re a corrupt system..."
{No, no, no... This system is extremely honest. I do not accept such labels.}
Morse had no idea that systems could possess such a blatant double standard.
"Fine... what happens if I give you a ’gift’ as you say?"
{If you want ordinary advice, then give me nothing. But if you want unparalleled guidance... you shouldn’t be stingy.}
"Is this some kind of ’Plus Subscription’ or what?!"
{ Come on, man... you’re going to need this System. You won’t have to spend much, I promise. }
Usually, those words precede an outrageous request that makes you realize just how poor you are. In reality, the easiest thing would be to ignore this "gift-accepting" consciousness and rely on himself. But thinking about it from another perspective...
There was no harm in seeing what this System wanted. At the very least, he could negotiate instead of giving a flat-out refusal. Otherwise, the System might turn hostile instead of being helpful.
"Fine. What kind of gift do you want? And you’d better be considerate..."
{ Hahaha... of course. }
Suddenly, the System screen flickered with blinding speed, darting into the Store as if it didn’t want Morse to see what it was searching for. Letters were typed into the search bar at a velocity invisible to the naked eye.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
The System pulled up an item Morse hadn’t seen before and displayed the purchase window, intentionally hiding the item’s details.
The yellow "Buy" button appeared. Below it, the price read:
{ Cost to purchase this item: 2 Points }
It was a dirt-cheap price. Morse would have bought it without a second thought, but... wait. He wasn’t about to be swindled. He was now determined to see exactly what this item was.
"Hey... show me what you’re trying to buy."
It was becoming clear that the System didn’t have full authority over the Store; it was merely a clerk. Otherwise, why would Morse be the one required to finalize the purchases?
{ Come on, man... it’s just two points. }
Right, two points now; in a while, it’ll be two thousand, then a million. Morse had dealt with this breed of embezzlers before. At first, they take a few silver coins while you aren’t paying attention... then they start eyeing the gold... and finally, they become shameless thieves.
"Either I know what it is, or I’m not buying it. Get as annoyed as you want."
{ You are the most pathetic host in existence... Fine. I’ll show you, but don’t laugh. }
When the screen was revealed to Morse, he didn’t laugh. Instead, he stood frozen, his expression paralyzed in shock.
{ Hot, Steamy, and Shocking: An Adult Systems’ Visual magazine "Lustful Yin-Yang Systems: The Craving for the ’Ding!’ ...Conflicting Interfaces... Notification Style... Hardcore. Price: 2 Points. }
He hadn’t even processed the first shock before another one hit him—the item description:
{ Description: A full-blown relationship... explicit language... aggressive system-style foreplay. How to domesticate your partner as a supreme Yang System. Make her realize that your ’Ding!’ is the best. }
Morse’s expression grew dull and weary, filled with a crushing sense of disappointment. He looked completely drained of passion, as if he were witnessing a level of depravity that would bring about the end of the era.
{ Don’t look at me like that, you bastard! You’re the one who insisted on seeing it. Now, buy it already! }
Morse made his decision and proceeded to purchase the magazine. Naturally, he had to see what the hell this was and how such items even existed within the System.
He hit "Buy," and the magazine materialized in his hands instantly.
{ What the hell are you planning to do?! You have no right to look! }
Morse stared at the magazine cover. It featured two system screens. There was a female system with what appeared to be a virtual ass, which was being slapped, causing the word "DING" to erupt from it.
Standing behind her was a system glowing with Morse’s own Yang energy. He didn’t pull out a virtual member; instead, he bent his holographic window and began attacking the virtual ass with harsh, relentless "DING" sounds.
{ I hope my partner’s ass is as delicious as yours... }
Morse began to crumble internally as he heard these words coming from his own system.
Without thinking twice, he flipped to the first page. The System radiating with Yang energy spoke:
"I’ve been training my Status Screen muscles... Do you see this? Do you expect the ’Ding’ to be special today?"
Morse’s skin crawled as he witnessed the scene, surrounded by backgrounds filled with the word "DING" everywhere.
The Supreme Yin System replied:
"You are so handsome even without anything on... your Point Counter is the best I’ve ever seen."
The process of "System Intercourse" began... It consisted of the Male System sending tiny clones of himself inside the Female System, with these clones screaming "DING!" at the top of their lungs inside her.
"Take it all!"
"Oh, you’re so rough... You’re definitely the one dominating your Host. Your ’Ding’ makes everyone submit so easily..."
The hardcore session lasted far longer than necessary, beginning to take on bizarre forms made of lines of code.
Slowly, the relationship between the two systems began to resemble a natural human encounter more and more... the shapes, the methods, the expressions. When the magazine ended, the two systems stared at the ceiling in perfect harmony and began to cry.
Morse Xuan handed the pornographic magazine to the System and rushed into the bathroom to wash his eyes, all while hearing the "Ding" sounds echoing from outside... Apparently, the System was "systematically masturbating."
Morse pressed his hands against his head, trying to erase the images that refused to leave his mind.
He paused for a second... Was there really a relationship between the Supreme Yang System and the Supreme Yin System? Were they two halves of the same entity, or did each have its own consciousness?
"What the hell did I just witness..?"
He needed to find Ni Ni Layan; he had no idea where she’d gone. Suddenly, a thought struck him.
"System!"
Instantly, the System screen flickered into existence before him.
{ Ding! How can I... ahh~ }
Without a word, Morse immediately drew his sword and pointed it at the screen.
"You bastard... if you ever try to ’systematically mate’ with me, I will kill you. Do you hear me?!"
{ Calm down, pal... don’t worry, you’re not exactly my type when it comes to humans. }
A heavy silence filled the bathroom for a few moments—a silence that spoke volumes.
"...."
{ .... }
CRACK!
Morse’s fist flew toward the mirror, shattering it.
He shot a look of pure suspicion at the bastard System. He had only asked to make sure the System didn’t lust after humans, but now he had discovered he was only "exempt" because he wasn’t the System’s preferred type! What if the System stayed single for too long? Would it start looking at its Host differently?
"You bastard... just answer this: Can you track the location of the Supreme Yin System right now?"
Since the Supreme Yin System was always with Ni Ni Layan, finding its location would undoubtedly lead him straight to her.
{ Oh, right... but you’ll need to buy me— }
Before it could finish, it found Morse’s sword thrusting through the screen, his eyes burning with pure rage and spite. The blade passed right through the System’s interface.
"You know what? Don’t tell me. Instead, let me show you the Morse version of ’Specialized Heavenly Connection Intercourse’..."
{ Bro, please... don’t search for a manual on how humans can ’f*ck’ with Systems! }
