The General's Wife Wants to Leave-Chapter 238: The so-called experience

Joanna was not sure if others could make a right guess of what happened to her lips, as she could not hide them when she spoke. But there was nothing she could do about that, as wearing a hat with a veil to hide her face would also raise questions more, as it had never been a favorite thing she did. She had never gone somewhere with such a hat covering her face.

Since she could not think of anything to hide her lips from many eyes, she could only try not to think too much about that, as one thing that she had learned was that anything that might appear in the spectators’ minds if they were experienced to know the cause of that, she did it with her husband. So there was nothing wrong with that.

She had also tried her best to appear as calm as she could manage when she noticed her father’s gaze on her lips with a crease on his forehead, but fortunately he voiced nothing as if he swallowed the reason behind that or acted not to notice that.

Aside from her lips, Joanna also noticed where else her father paid attention on her face, which were the dark circles under her eyes. Although it was not too obvious, the trace of fatigue might not be hard to decipher by him.

She could not sleep the entire night after what transpired between her and the man who slept next to her. After he got back to the bed from the bathroom, both of them just lay on the bed, side by side, in silence. No words were formed; even distance was created, as if being close to each other would reignite the fire that might not be completely dimmed.

She was not sure if he thought she had really fallen asleep. But overall, she thanked him for not doing or saying anything in relation to the prior event.

She was also not sure whether he could sleep or not. What she knew was that none of them made much movement but lay with their backs against the bed, engulfed in the illumination of a warm glow with her heartbeat ringing loudly in her ears.

It was before the break of dawn that she felt her eyelids heavy as tranquility gave her mercy. Calmness gradually washed over her, lulling her to drift into slumber. After managing to sleep for slightly over a couple of hours, her biological clock woke her up to be ready to start the day.

Yet despite her readiness along with the fatigue she felt, she did not expect that she would be welcomed with such an overwhelming view through her reflection in the mirror. It had never crossed her mind that such intimacy could have such a bewildering impact on her body. Such a view was enough to get rid of most of the portion of her fatigue. Her senses were awake in an instant.

Biting her lower lip, Joanna shifted her gaze from the window to again peek at the man in front of her to get a better look at him, as she had directed her eyes anywhere but at him since he left for the bathroom last night. She wanted to know whether he also experienced the same things as her. But it only took her aback when she met his piercing gaze, making her breath hitch and her heart skip a beat.

A few seconds ago, she was sure that he had his focus on anything he saw outside the window.

As they stared at each other, with the book still held in front of her to cover the part of her face below her eyes, Joanna should have acted as if she did not look at him and deviated her eyes away from his. But she did not do that.

Feeling not able to help herself, Joanna brought her eyes to trail down his lips—the same lips that tortured her last night. And she subconsciously frowned when she found his lips were in good condition, far different from her poor ones.

Her gaze trailed more down toward his neck to see no red marks there. That finding made the crease between her brows deeper. But then it slightly reversed when she realized that he would not experience things like hers, as the one who was active during their indulgence on the bed was him, while she just stayed still as she also completely did not know what to do and respond to such an unfamiliar affair.

She still remembered what was taught by her governess during the premarital education. The knowledge that was shared with her was that wives did not need to do anything during marital intimacy. They just needed to lay down and let their husbands be the busy ones from the beginning to the end. Therefore, the contrast on their bodies could be seen after the deed.

It was then she noticed that his face also looked not as haggard as how he looked in the past few days. He somehow looked brighter and more fresh. It made Joanna wonder if the activity that they had the previous night had an impact in such a way on him instead, which was in contrast to what happened to her.

Joanna was clueless about that matter because, according to the memory she kept in her mind, her governess and the information from the book she read never mentioned anything related to the current condition of her body.

Nonetheless, as she recalled all the content of the books she had read and the knowledge her governess shared with her, Joanna thought that if they did further last night, she was certain that she would be the one who would feel the pain. It was what was informed that the first experience to become a woman was painful.

Pondering over such unfairness, Joanna’s mind twirled in the so-called experience.

As she focused on the current condition of her body, Joanna wondered if every marital intimacy had such an impact on the women’s bodies. Or did the marks appear because it was done by someone who was not experienced? Or perhaps it was because someone experienced that her body became like that?

Joanna surely did not know how to categorize someone as skilled or not in that particular matter, as last night was her first-ever experience. She was innocent. She also did not know about the aftereffects of kisses.

But then, as Joanna kept on pondering, her mind drifted to the time they danced in the royal banquet. It was not hard to figure out that one who could dance very smoothly meant that he had danced so many times, or, in other words, he was an experienced one.

Then, the next question that appeared in her mind was whether he did such activities with the same person... or many people that made him an expert in dancing and kissing or other indulgences in bed.

It was her first kiss. What about him?

No one except her handmaids had ever touched and seen her body. What about him?

There were some occasions where she attended social gatherings where she heard conversations about how soldiers who dwelled on the battlefield for a long time would find partners to entertain them and help them quench their desires and lust that were blocked due to the prolonged gore battles.

Staring at the lips of the man before her while her mind was wandering with questions after questions, Joanna hid her eyes by pushing up the book to cover her whole face, ignoring the way the green eyes stared unwaveringly at her as she did not want to see the unfairness through them.

Yet before the protest of unfairness seeped into her pores and sunk deeper in her core, her whole sight suddenly changed. Her eyes met the green eyes that she avoided seeing.