The General's Wife Wants to Leave-Chapter 240: Shall we?

It was not the first time for Joanna to be faced with the switch of emotions when she was with the man whom she called her husband and was now having her in his arms. At one moment, she was brought into the wave of a melancholic feeling; in a blink of an eye later, she was faced with perplexity.

And it was the same as what she was currently facing, from feeling touched by his heartwarming words to a panicky state that made her want to be free immediately from his arms. But what could she expect from her husband when he was back as the figure that she recognized?

"It is said that practice makes perfect. Once we do that, you won’t be concerned about hiding from me or many eyes anymore, and there will be no more feeling uncomfortable." With her eyes opened, Joanna, who still rested one side of her cheek on Canillas’ shoulder as he still patted her back as if to lull her, heard more of his words.

"Then, shall we, wife?"

Feeling her husband make a movement and grab her shoulders as if about to kiss her again, Joanna quickly lifted her head from his shoulder. "And dance?" Joanna blurted out as she faced him, placing her hands on Canillas’ chest to stop him from doing any practice he offered.

She was not ready to see her lips back to the condition she saw in the mirror, as they were not completely back to their original state yet. Besides, she would still need to face many faces once she stepped out of the carriage. He would be fine, but she would not. Therefore, she should shun any idea regarding being skillful in that kind of affection.

"Shall we practice too?" Canillas asked, wondering why she suddenly mentioned dance.

Joanna quickly shook her head, sliding backward until her back and the back of her head pressed against the wall of the carriage when she found Canillas keep inching closer after her lips. "No, that’s not what I meant," Joanna hurriedly answered. "I mean, Sir Canillas is already good at dancing, so no more practice is needed."

"I am overwhelmed with the praise. My wife is good at it, either." Her husband responded to her but showed no intention to stop chasing after her lips, and his lips were now brushing hers. Joanna felt her scalp tingle.

"I am overwhelmed with the praise too. But how can you be that good at it, Sir Canillas?" Joanna quickly spoke with her head turning to the side, feeling Canillas’ lips brush against her cheek. And soon relief washed over her when there was no further progress made by Canillas as she felt him pull backward.

Finding a sliver of a gap growing between them, Joanna turned her head to look back at him. She asked, "Have you danced a lot?"

’With whom?’ She wanted to ask that question, but Joanna chose to keep it to herself.

For a moment, there was no answer coming from Canillas, who was sitting in close proximity to her. He just sat in silence, facing her with the corners of his lips slightly tugged up. "I never thought that my wife was so attentive and curious about me to this instance," Canillas remarked not long later with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Feeling shy about her conduct and not wanting to be teased further, Joanna cleared her throat before saying, "It is fine if you don’t want to answer. I am sorry for being nosy." She then shifted her gaze while trying to adjust the way she sat, as she was now sitting diagonally with her back against the wall of the carriage. That way, she would not sit facing him. But before she was able to do what she intended to do, she heard her husband speak to her, which made her look back at him.

"I didn’t dance a lot. Then, how can I be good at dancing?" Canillas hummed, tapping his chin with his index finger as if thinking hard for something, which answer he already knew. With a sly smile, he then uttered, "I think it is something for you to be proud of me, my dear wife. You are indeed married to a very talented person and a fast learner. A person who can master something even just by watching certain scenes that lay barely before his eyes." He grinned, not sure if his innocent wife could catch the meaning of his words, as he could not elaborate to her that there were times for soldiers who engaged a lot in a war releasing a pent-up desire by overlooking time and places.

"Is there any more question?" Canillas inquired, smiling blissfully at his flustered, innocent wife, who was looking at him with a face tinted with natural blush.

Joanna wanted to ask more. She somehow could catch the underlying meaning of the spiced answer she heard from her mischievous husband, but she felt that the answers did not satisfy her. Yet she questioned herself what kind of answer she wanted to hear from him. Thus, she ended up shaking her head, considering that she should not be greedy. That way, by looking at his current mood, she could avoid being the subject of his amusement.

Besides, the previous statement that came from him was more important than the talk about the dance that was inevitable in the society, remembering the position he held as an important figure in his homeland. Thus, it was enough.

Finding Joanna was silent after shaking her head as the answer to his inquiry, Canillas smiled faintly, caressing her cheek. "About what happened between us last night, we both know that it is something that we can’t avoid forever, don’t we?" He said in a low voice, knowing how much it would affect Joanna.

From the way Joanna avoided him, it was a sign of how she responded to the first physical intimacy that they had last night. He was thankful for her not pushing him away even though their marriage had not been consummated yet because of her sudden resistance that prevented him from moving further to make it complete. But it did not mean that she was fine with that.

If he did not do something to calm his innocent wife, talking to her about what they did last night, she would be restless and continue to avoid him. Hence, he tried to calm her, talk to her, and make a probably dry joke in order to ease her mind. To his relief, from all of that action, he was enlightened that she still accepted him, not pushing him away, although her shyness and worry were palpable.

"I am scared." And she was also scared, as she just confessed in a trembling voice. A reason that made resistance was still there.

As he heard that, Canillas pulled Joanna into his embrace. Tightening his arms around her, he said, "Feeling shy, nervous, worried, and even scared about the first time is naturally common. It mostly is unavoidable in life. It must be done when there is no choice to say no. But if one doesn’t give it a try and jump on it, there will be no such thing as experience." Stroking the back of Joanna’s head, he continued speaking.

"If I had surrendered in fear, I wouldn’t have jumped on the battlefield, and there wouldn’t have been General Canillas von Rodega."

Pulling away so that he could see Joanna’s face, he said, "Then there would have been a high probability that the one sleeping next to me wouldn’t have been you and the one sleeping next to you wouldn’t have been me." He paused and smiled, offering Joanna, who was shyly staring at him, his warm gaze.

"I don’t know if that probability is one thing that you prefer. But to me... I am glad that that probability doesn’t exist in my life. And I am glad I surpassed the fear of the first time to jump on the battlefield so that I can be who I am now and marry you, Joanna."

Time was ticking by. Joanna felt that nothing was around them but themselves at the moment. She could not help but keep her eyes on the man who had, for so many times, said something that gave warmth to her heart.

Finding Joanna returned his smile with her reddened eyes, even placing her one hand on the back of his hand that was on one side of her cheek, Canillas closed his eyes and brought his forehead to rest on hers.

Silence once again fell in the carriage that was occupied by the von Rodegas.

"Let me tell you a secret." Canillas’ low voice gently broke the peaceful silence. Bringing his lips near Joanna’s ear, he whispered, "No one has ever slept next to me but you, Joanna." A light kiss landed on Joanna’s flushed cheek before he spoke with his eyes on hers.

"So, don’t be scared. Let’s learn and practice together, shall we?"