The General's Wife Wants to Leave-Chapter 250: Failed to turn the page

It had been more than two and a half hours since she stepped back into her room, changing her attire into her nightgown.

She had planned to rest like how she excused herself to each person to whom her excuse was made. However, despite her fatigue and the feeling like her body was being mashed, no matter how hard she tried to go sinking into slumber, pushing aside every train of thought that consumed a high amount of her energy, she ended up sitting on the bed with her eyes open, but like a person whose soul was leaving her body.

Sitting on the bed with her back leaning against the headboard, Joanna directed her eyes toward the dancing flame in the fireplace that illuminated a soothing glow in her expressionless face.

She was very tired and needed to rest, but she could not close her eyes and sleep. She was also having a headache, but her head refused to stop thinking of anything that had disturbed her mind for hours now.

Her heart was restless. Her mind was a mess. She wanted to scream, pouring out all the content in her heart and mind so that she could gain an ease. Yet she was in a dilemma because she was in a situation where she could not share anything with others, or else they would label her as being insane.

She was there again, back to swirl in the turbulence of the dream that stubbornly revolved around her mind, and she herself seemed to be stubborn either to not be able to let go, seeming to fail to follow the decision and determination that she had chanted in her mind these past few days.

She had reminded herself that she was thinking too much. Everything that she was afraid of was baseless and would not happen because that dream was only a mere dream. So she brushed off her anxiety by exhausting her body and mind through reading. She thought that by doing that she would then be able to sleep and she would become better when the morning came.

Thus, she took the book that she had not finished reading from the bookshelf that stood against one side of the walls in her room. Nonetheless, the page of the book where she last read a few days ago just stayed like that. No new page was flipped open, as if her vacant stare failed to turn the page automatically. Her heart refused to cooperate, and her mind followed suit.

At the end, she closed the book and placed it on the table side to then take some time to sit still, trying to dwell on the chaotic thoughts in her mind.

Shifting her gaze from the dancing flame, Joanna’s eyes landed on the trunks that were stacked near her wardrobe. They were still empty and would be filled with her belongings that she would bring to Archess by tomorrow. It was the schedule that she had set, recalling the message her husband gave her that they would leave Terra within three days.

Initially, she planned to pack after she arrived at her home, but the presence of her brother Phillip did not allow her to because she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, her only brother, that she had missed dearly.

With her gaze settled on the trunks, Joanna bit inside her cheek before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Letting it out, she opened her eyes and climbed down from her bed. She then took the robe to be put on over her nightgown and slipped her feet into her slippers.

Pulling the door open, Joanna stepped out of her room and walked down the quiet, dimly lit corridor after closing the door behind her back. She decided to do what she had planned to unruffle the jumbled knot in her heart and mind. She wanted to feel ease. She needed to breathe relievedly.

She did not know what the result would be. She was also hesitant that it would end up with success. She was not sure if she could gain a peaceful heart with her mind less crowded. Yet it was better to give it a try rather than doing nothing and regretting it later.

Because time could not be turned back.

From the corner of her eyes, Joanna could see her long shadow twirling on the wall, following her to keep her company toward the place where she had set her mind to be.

No sound came from her soft slippers as she was careful with every step she made. Her breath was also not heard as she took control of all of them so that it did not disturb the stillness of the night.

Reaching the other end of the long corridor, Joanna stood in front of a mahogany door. Taking a deep breath before letting it out through her slightly trembling lips, Joanna raised her hand and gently knocked on the cold surface of the door, waiting for the door to be opened by the person that she wished to see.

Three knocks had been made before another three knocks followed, but the door was still closed.

Joanna wondered if the person inside the room had already slept. Her hand was raised again, but before she gave another knock on the door, she changed her mind, contemplating if it was impolite to disturb someone’s rest, remembering more than forty minutes needed to pass for time to strike midnight.

The determination she had painstakingly summoned before had dimmed again.

It also represented the actual hesitation inside her. If she were determined enough, she could just call the name of the person on the other side of the door. Yet she did not do that, as if there was something holding her back from doing that despite the eagerness to pour out what she had in heart and mind.

Bringing her hand down to her side, Joanna took a step backward before turning in the direction back to her room. Nonetheless, before she could take a step forward, a clicking sound coming from the door that she had just knocked on pulled her feet to root on the floor beneath her.

Soon, through the small gap of the door that had just been pulled open, she caught a glimpse of the person that she had intended to see before she saw the whole of him when there was no more barrier to separate her and him.