The Lazy Chronicles: Apartment of the Apocalypse-Chapter 61: Unlikely Heroes

Mallory stared at the newest addition to their ragtag team—a toaster that had popped out of her apartment’s refrigerator that morning. It wasn’t just any toaster, though. This one had legs. Long, spindly legs that allowed it to skitter around like a caffeinated spider. It also had an unsettling habit of staring at her with what could only be described as "judgmental toast slots."

"What... is that?" Alex (the original) asked, recoiling slightly as the toaster made a beeline for his boots.

"It’s Blinky 2.0," Mallory said with a deadpan tone, already regretting the name.

"Blinky 2.0?" Greg asked, nearly choking on his laughter. "What happened to Blinky 1.0?"

Mallory scratched her head. "Uh... long story. Let’s just say the first Blinky had some ’behavioral issues.’"

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Behavioral issues? You’re talking about it like it’s a problem child."

"It was a problem child!" Mallory shot back. "That little blob of goo tried to take over the bathroom. Do you know how traumatizing it is to wake up to your shower curtain moving on its own?"

The group dissolved into laughter, the tension of the morning temporarily forgotten. Even Vanessa cracked a smile, though she quickly masked it by pretending to check her weapon.

The toaster, meanwhile, had taken up a position next to Greg and was tapping one of its legs against his shin.

"Does it... want something?" Greg asked nervously.

Mallory shrugged. "Probably. It seems to like shiny things. Don’t let it near your zipper."

Greg’s face turned crimson as the group howled with laughter.

Altair, ever the serious one, cleared his throat. "As amusing as this is, we need to focus. We’re heading into uncharted territory today."

"Oh, good," Mallory said. "Because the last time we did that, we almost got eaten by a horde and chased by trigger-happy survivors. Sounds like a blast."

"You’re welcome to stay behind," Altair said, smirking slightly.

Mallory crossed her arms. "And miss all the fun? Never."

As the group set off, Blinky 2.0 scuttled along behind them, its metallic legs clicking against the pavement. fɾeeweɓnѳveɭ.com

---

The journey to the next safe zone was surprisingly uneventful—for about ten minutes. Then the hilarity began.

Greg, who had been walking slightly ahead of the group, suddenly stopped and turned around with a panicked expression.

"What’s wrong?" Vanessa asked, her hand already on her weapon.

"I stepped in something," Greg said, lifting his foot to reveal a shoe covered in... something green and slimy.

Mallory leaned in for a closer look. "Congratulations. You found zombie pudding."

"Zombie pudding?" Greg echoed, horrified.

"Well, it’s not actual pudding," Mallory said, grinning. "But it’s close enough. It’s like the goo that zombies leave behind when they... you know... disintegrate."

Greg’s face turned green. "Why does it smell like rotten eggs and despair?"

"Because it probably is," Alex (the new one) said, trying and failing to suppress a laugh.

As Greg frantically scraped his shoe against a rock, the rest of the group took the opportunity to catch their breath.

But their break was short-lived.

From around the corner, a lone zombie stumbled into view. It was missing an arm, its clothes were in tatters, and it appeared to be wearing a tiara.

"Is it just me," Mallory began, "or does that zombie look like it just came from a beauty pageant?"

"I think it’s kind of fabulous," Greg said, finally recovering from his goo incident.

The group prepared to engage, but before they could, Blinky 2.0 launched itself at the zombie with a surprising amount of ferocity.

"What is it doing?!" Vanessa exclaimed as the toaster clamped its legs around the zombie’s head and began spinning like a deranged carnival ride.

The zombie flailed wildly, but Blinky 2.0 held on, its tiny legs whirring like helicopter blades. Within moments, the zombie collapsed, its tiara falling to the ground with a faint clink.

"Well," Mallory said, picking up the tiara and placing it on her own head. "I guess Blinky 2.0 wins the pageant."

The group erupted into laughter, even Altair cracking a rare smile.

---

As the day wore on, the group encountered more challenges, but the hilarity never stopped.

At one point, they found themselves navigating through a maze of abandoned cars. Greg, naturally, managed to find the one car with an intact horn.

The loud HONK echoed through the streets, drawing the attention of every zombie within a mile radius.

"Greg!" Altair shouted, glaring at him.

"It was an accident!" Greg said, holding up his hands defensively. "How was I supposed to know the horn still worked?"

"You pressed it!" Vanessa snapped.

"Curiosity got the better of me!"

As the zombies closed in, the group scrambled to climb onto the roofs of the cars, taking potshots at the approaching horde. Mallory, ever resourceful, used her frying pan to great effect, smacking zombies in the head as they tried to climb up after her.

By the time the last zombie fell, the group was breathless and covered in grime.

"Next time," Altair said, glaring at Greg, "keep your curiosity in check."

Greg nodded sheepishly, though the mischievous glint in his eye suggested he hadn’t learned his lesson.

---

By the time they reached their destination—a crumbling library that Alex had insisted was worth checking out—they were all exhausted.

But the moment they stepped inside, they were greeted by an unexpected sight.

The library wasn’t abandoned. A group of survivors had made it their home, and they didn’t look particularly pleased to see visitors.

"Well," Mallory said, adjusting her tiara. "This should be interesting."

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