The Prince Wants to Assassinate Me Every Day-Chapter 1047 - 638: It Was Xiao Jinxing Who Chose for Me to Leave (Part 1)
Xie Ruotong still found it hard to accept.
It felt like being overwhelmed by an unexpected honor.
She had made preparations for a lifetime without children. The reluctance to be with Song Yanqing initially wasn’t rooted in hatred—that had long been let go. It was more an issue of not being able to conceive.
She could live without children, but she couldn’t implicate others, nor did she want the Song Family to end without descendants, or to be entangled with them over children. If it weren’t for Song Yanqing’s persistence, she never would have reconciled with him.
After reconciling, she had even considered taking concubines for Song Yanqing to ensure the Song Family had heirs, but he refused resolutely, so she didn’t insist.
Yet now.
An Ning told her she was pregnant!
Suddenly, there was a baby.
Her heart was filled with indescribable emotions; very complex.
Joy? Or fright?!
She couldn’t tell for a moment.
At this moment, she was even thinking, if she was pregnant, what would happen at the border?!
Who would guard it?!
Bai Moyi and Bai Mowan were about to be executed publicly.
The Bai Family army, hundreds of thousands strong, was temporarily under her command. If she didn’t lead them, who could the Emperor appoint?!
Though they had driven the invaders out of the border this time, it ultimately started another war for Daxuan Kingdom, which caused casualties and losses for Daxuan Kingdom, inevitably making other nations eye it covetously, waiting to strike. Daxuan Kingdom now, with its vast territory and abundant resources, was a luscious piece of meat everyone wanted a bite of. Before returning to the capital, the Emperor had discussed with her about reorganizing the troops, maintaining the stability of governance upon his return, surveying the global situation, and taking proactive measures to suppress surrounding turmoil, so that no foreign invaders would ever dare infringe upon Daxuan territory again!
She had always prepared to accompany the Emperor on expeditions.
But now.
An Ning said she was pregnant.
If she was pregnant, how could she lead troops?!
An Ning observed Xie Ruotong’s expression, noting the changes from initial shock to joy to hesitation to roaming melancholy...
"What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy to have the crystallization of your love with Song Yanqing?" An Ning asked.
Xie Ruotong turned to look at her.
Her heart was a mix of emotions.
She said, "I always thought I couldn’t have children anymore."
"So, having one should bring you joy," An Ning smiled.
Xie Ruotong shook her head.
Once, she was taken away by Duanyazi, turned into a puppet, solely yearning to return home. After returning home, she just wished to marry her beloved, managing a household and teaching children. But after many experiences, she had let go of hatred, and herself, witnessing magnificent landscapes, charging through armies of thousands, feeling the devotion to home and country, experiencing heroic sacrifices, she now had her ideals and ambitions, she wanted more to guard a place of peace, protect a nation’s stability!
She felt she would be like the old General Bai, guarding the border till her last breath, never allowing foreign adversaries to encroach upon Daxuan!
She even felt grateful, because being unable to conceive spared her the inconvenience of pregnancy, allowing her to always remain steadfast in her duty, unaffected by external factors, with only Song Yanqing being able to influence her, yet they had no clashes. Song Yanqing served in the court as an official, she fought battles outside, they could wholeheartedly join forces to protect the country!
But now, the arrival of a child prompted her to glimpse the ordinary family life, she, for a moment, indeed found it hard to accept.
An Ning ultimately discerned Xie Ruotong’s thoughts.
She said, "Daxuan Kingdom abounds with talents, the troops are stable for now, take care during the ten-month pregnancy, then lead troops to battle, it’s not too late. There’s no need for excessive concern."
"But..." Xie Ruotong looked at An Ning, somewhat at a loss for words.
She wondered whether to disclose the Emperor’s plan to embark on expeditions to An Ning.
She was uncertain about the current relationship between the Empress and the Emperor.
Xie Ruotong abruptly shifted the topic, "The Emperor ordered Gu Xingchuan to be executed publicly, will you forgive the Emperor?"
An Ning actually knew that Xie Ruotong sought heart-to-heart talks, much about her relationship with Xiao Jinxing.
She poured herself some wine.
Xie Ruotong wanted to grab the wine glass.
"You shouldn’t drink for now, alcohol is not good for the baby," An Ning held her hand down.
Xie Ruotong hesitated for a moment, still nodded.
"Many advised me, your husband, Gu Xingchuan, even Bai Mowan, everyone told me to accept Xiao Jinxing’s helplessness, after all, Gu Xingchuan committed a capital crime, deserving to be executed, nations have laws, families have rules, and we can’t defy natural justice." An Ning drank her wine, perhaps speaking more sincerely to Xie Ruotong.
Coming here, her best friends remain Gu Xingchuan and Xie Ruotong.
"But, Xiao Jinxing had the power to keep Gu Xingchuan alive. If he fought desperately, Gu Xingchuan wouldn’t have to die. If Xiao Jinxing lacked that power, had no choice, I would have no reason to resent him, but he had the power yet chose not to, should I forgive him? Should I act as though Gu Xingchuan’s death means nothing, continue to assist Xiao Jinxing wholeheartedly in governing the world?!"
Xie Ruotong remained silent.
At the border, in fact, Song Yanqing had imparted much wisdom to her.
She didn’t think the Emperor was wrong.
It was quite because of her understanding of the Emperor, she unconditionally sided with him, guarding a region for him.
But she wasn’t completely indifferent to Gu Xingchuan’s death. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚
She couldn’t act as though Gu Xingchuan’s death didn’t exist, let alone An Ning, for Gu Xingchuan died for An Ning.
Her allegiance to the Emperor only came from standing at the national righteousness’s standpoint, not discussing personal sentiments.
But An Ning must accompany the Emperor, to spend her life with him, it’s driven by feelings.
Their standings differed.
She could do it, remain guilt-free.
But An Ning couldn’t.
Gu Xingchuan’s blood stained her, she could never wipe it clean.
Hence, she understood all An Ning’s emotions, acknowledged all decisions she had to make.
Xie Ruotong said, "Will you leave the Emperor then?"
"When Xiao Jinxing decided, he already foresaw the end between us. Simply put, his choice to kill Gu Xingchuan was the choice between him and me. He opted to kill Gu Xingchuan, ending us. So rather than saying I’m leaving Xiao Jinxing, it’s more apt to say Xiao Jinxing chose to let me leave him," An Ning spoke flatly.
Only truly understanding the essence of this matter made her comprehend the underlying logic.
To Xiao Jinxing, in reality.
What did she truly mean to him?!
Perhaps the guilt from five years ago merely restricted his mind, influencing his career and aspirations!
Now he could decisively kill Bai Mowan, severing his past ties completely. How could he not entirely release his guilt towards her?
