The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]-Chapter 844: An Interstellar Legend

In a faraway land reachable only by the chosen ones who have passed the trial of fire, there existed a place spoken of only in hushed tones and overexcited comment threads. A place that welcomed everyone and no one.

It was a place one didn’t so much gently enter as they were hooked and claimed. If such a place had been home to a pyramiding scam, it would have been impossible to even make an arrest.

It was said to be built beneath a ceiling of glass and light, where stone paths curved like lazy rivers through living green. Trees grew where walls should have been while water murmured where silence ought to be. Lamps glowed softly as if afraid to interrupt the peace. Tables waited patiently, as though they had all the time in the world and fully intended to keep everyone there.

Those who found themselves inside would later swear that leaving felt... impossible. Not forbidden. Just deeply undesirable. As though the air itself had wrapped around their ankles and asked, very passionately, that they stay a little longer. 𝐟𝕣𝗲𝕖𝕨𝗲𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝗲𝚕.𝗰𝚘𝐦

Many believed this was the place’s magic. But others believed the true trial lay elsewhere.

For those who experienced the legend agreed on one thing. The greatest danger wasn’t the serenity, the beauty, nor the inability to tell time.

It was the temptation.

For in that magical land existed something that felt so forbidden that it revealed itself only when one was unprepared.

The first glance felt like being burned.

There was barely any time for stares, and yet even the strongest of them shook at the knees.

The challengers couldn’t help but be beguiled simply by the greeting.

Such full-bodiedness and firmness where it counted, and yet when the object of their attention rose to full height, it became even more impossible to deny how visually stimulating that was.

Truly irresistible.

There was politeness in the presentation, almost courteous, but every time a bow was taken, authority seemed to seep out. As if aware of all the devastation that could have been inflicted, yet choosing restraint purely out of mercy.

Those who were immersed claimed everything felt illegal. Expectations were ruined forever and comparisons simply became impossible.

For some, regret became a companion.

It hit harder than expected.

Visitors spoke of standing as if being judged, of how their minds were transfixed and their souls ended up being laid bare.

Some tried to reach out, only to be stopped, for even if they wanted to, the treasure already belonged to someone else.

In the end, everyone lost something of themselves in the process and even the monetary loss felt nothing compared to the deep-seated longing they ended up taking home.

"And what they all had when it was all said and done were memories and photos. They would lie awake at night, thinking of that first encounter, longing for the moment they had been too flustered to truly savor."

"..."

"..."

Imperial Crown Prince Xavier Solaris briefly thought the afterlife didn’t sound so bad.

Unfortunately, even such a polite escape wasn’t in the cards for him.

He was still alive. Still seated. And still being forced to listen to what felt less like a comment thread and more like the public reading of his life sentence.

D-29 gave a soft whirr as if marking the end of the story. But just as the prince thought he was saved, the little system’s tone changed.

"OH. IF ONLY I COULD RETURN," the mechanical voice proclaimed, pitched higher than before and laden with artificial yearning. "I swear I would finally be able to describe what I meant by ’immaculately cut!’"

Xavier closed his eyes.

Someone coughed. Someone else stopped breathing.

Another whirr followed, this time a different register.

"Was it really that insane?" the next voice asked, curious and far too cheerful. "I mean, we all saw the same view, but I heard someone saying that looking at their husband became difficult after the experience!"

The temperature in the room spiked.

A chair creaked as someone shifted in visible distress at this inexplicable reading session.

"Ah, yes! Yes! Very understandable," D-29 continued, now using a tone that sounded far too enthusiastic for the situation. "That would be an understatement! Had you been there, you likely would have lost the ability to focus, too. THE MOMENT I GOT NEAR ENOUGH, I SWEAR I BECAME WEAK IN THE KNEES, AND I’M ONLY TWENTY-FIVE!"

Choking. There was definitely choking.

One particularly unfortunate father made a sound reminiscent of a dying bear before his responsible wife swiftly covered his mouth and subdued his arms with alarming efficiency.

"I actually understand," came the next voice, breathy in a way that made several people consider early retirement. "Just the swaying got me staring and my boyfriend had to cover my mouth. APPARENTLY I LOOKED LIKE I WAS ABOUT TO DROOL ANYTIME."

Xavier considered dissolving into light.

"Your boyfriend didn’t get mad at you?" the same voice, using a different tone, asked.

"Why would he? When he lied about me being the love of his life! I may have looked like I was about to drool, but there was no denying how much he also stared."

"WOW," the next voice breathed, as if incredibly prepared. "THAT HANDSOME?!"

"Even that’s an insult! Too mouthwatering just to be called handsome!" the mechanical reader declared.

Someone audibly whimpered.

"The fan club must be eating this all up."

"There are 2,198,137 likes," D-29 said brightly, a huge contrast to everyone else’s faces.

"I couldn’t even sleep just thinking about the what-ifs. LIKE THAT THICKNESS AND GIRTH? In an ideal world, I would definitely be more than satisfied. I’d cry out like hell, but I would die happy!"

At least three people nearly did. But for a totally different reason.

The room was a graveyard of embarrassment when a small, confused voice cut through the carnage.

"Huh?"

Every head snapped toward the golden-eyed cadet.

__

Luca blinked, bewildered. Xavier, on the other hand, felt his soul leave his body, come back, and immediately regret returning.

"Oh no," Luca said, panicked. "But it was thin. I’m sure it was thin!"

Clang!

Someone dropped something and yet no one moved to check. Then again, it might have been their dignity, their sanity, or both.

"I mean, it was thin but still hefty and meaty," Luca rushed on, words tumbling out faster and faster. "You don’t need it to be thick to be satisfying! Thin ones can be really good too! I’ve never been disappointed! But actually, would it be better if it was fat? Just a little plumper maybe?"

He looked around for sympathy, those golden eyes practically trembling.

But unfortunately, no one was breathing, so how could they assist him when they were out there trying to stay alive?

But the impassioned cadet had more opinions.

"...Then was that unsatisfying?!" Luca cried, genuine horror in his voice. "But really, I swear I’ve never been unsatisfied by thin ones! In fact, when it’s like that, it’s very easy in the mouth! My jaw would never hurt and there wouldn’t be anything overflowing, so my shirt would always be safe!"

Silence fell.

Not because anyone wanted it to. But because no one knew how to survive such a tense moment.

The motorized door opened.

"What are you guys talking about?!" Ollie shouted, red-faced and frantic, looking like he had sprinted through three walls and one existential crisis to get there because he, in good conscience, couldn’t take it anymore.

D-29 and Luca answered at the same time.

"The Prince," D-29 said.

"Roast beef," Luca said.

"Huh?"

The whirr returned. Luca blinked.

Time stretched as the owner of one dangerous mouth looked around and realized everyone was staring at his most handsome husband.

"..."

"..."

Then, finally, a realization struck. While it wasn’t particularly the correct one, the young cadet—concerned about muscle mass and undermining his husband’s well-built and hard-earned muscles—figured something was wrong.

"No! Wait!" Luca screeched, flailing in pure panic as he tried to correct his mortifying mistake. "Then it’s thick! Very thick! Nothing about my husband is thin! He’s very meaty and I’m very satisfied!"

He froze.

The little daredevil looked over at his beloved husband to see Xavier practically disheveled in resignation, with his ears flushed to the tips.

"!!!"

Luca’s face went crimson as his brain tried to process what he said.

Then once again, the flustered cadet arrived at another conclusion.

Oh heavens! How could he say such a thing?!

He wasn’t trying to call him fat by any means! And even if he did end up gaining or losing weight, it wouldn’t matter to him!

"Oh no. Oh no no no, I meant the beef. The roast beef! The beef can be thick. Very thick. That’s also extremely respectable! Tomorrow we can serve thick beef! A plump one!"

Xavier—the apparently thick and definitely not thin prince—stared at the table.

Ah.

The Crown Prince decided that abdication was probably the wisest course of action.

Because really.

Who would have thought something like this could happen over one dinner?

More importantly, how was he going to explain all this to his detonating little wife?