The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System-Chapter 81 - The Story Begins
Chapter 81: The Story Begins
《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 was a YY stallion novel. The great author Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had clearly defined it as such since the very start.
Shen Qingqiu was widely-known to be a shameless straight man. He had also clearly defined himself as such from the moment he was born.
So, when Shen Yuan first flipped open this remarkable, shockingly high-quality book called 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》—which had even exceeded his own standards for style—if someone had told him then that: ah, you’re going to do gay things with the male lead of this novel, and what’s more, you’re the one who’s going to lie down and present yourself to him to be done… he definitely would’ve taken all fifty thick, brick-like physical volumes of 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》and showed the other person what it meant to have their brains dashed out.
Now, he floated in the empty dimension that he had passed through when he first entered this world, as he listened to the System’s familiar Google Translate accent spread through the entire space, the same as ever.
【Hello. Because of your enthusiastic hard work and energetic cooperation, each value has already reached the necessary minimum standard for promotion.】
【The System is very honored to inform you that you have already been promoted to junior VIP member. Here, you are especially reminded that VIP members may enable the advanced feature “Self-Saving.” 】
【Under the circumstances in which your life points fall to their lowest possible value, you may restore yourself to full health once.】
Resurrected with full health!
This VIP treatment was really too damn kind.
Shen Qingqiu said, “Um, about that. Can this Self-Saving feature only be used once? I can only use it on myself?”
The System: 【Correct.】
Shen Qingqiu instantly thought of a very serious problem. He had first drawn over a majority of the demonic energy from Luo Binghe’s body. Even if he destroyed the Xin Mo sword now, it shouldn’t greatly affect Luo Binghe. But originally, he had thought that he was more or less screwed, so that child had sobbed and said that he would die together with him. If he used the Self-Saving feature now, Luo Binghe better not foolishly follow him and kill himself!
Shen Qingqiu asked hastily, “What about Luo Binghe? How is he now?”
The System: 【At the time being, you do not have the authority to inquire about issues related to the source of all energy. Do you wish to examine your past achievements?】
He was already a VIP, so why couldn’t he inquire about it! Shen Qingqiu was filled with anxiety, but if his authority wasn’t enough, then it wasn’t enough; if he couldn’t ask, then he couldn’t ask. No matter how anxious he was, it was useless. The System persisted: 【Do you wish to examine your past achievements?】
It seemed like he had no choice but to see them. Shen Qingqiu waved his hand. “Yes, yes, yes. Hurry up!”
Along with a peal of jubilant BGM1, the System slowly unrolled a list of achievements like pulling open a scroll:
【The number of landmines avoided was above twenty, eliminating the “Landmines Raining Down Like Lightning” tag, earning the “Rather Many Tsukkomi Points” medal.】
【The highest value your past B-points reached was over 5000, earning the “Absurd Writing is Now Readable” medal.】
【There have been at least three extremely melodramatic outbursts, earning the “Torrent of Abuse” medal.】
【The insignificant side plots that flooded the main plot have been removed, earning the “Unequalled Water God” tag.】
【The Hidden Characters have been mended, and basic Plot Hole-Filling has been completed, eliminating the “Big Plot Holes Everywhere” tag.】
【The total value of cool points has surpassed the allowed maximum, earning the “Not a Bad Rub”2 medal.】
【You have attained the System’s recommended standard. In summary: a love story about a chuunibyou who wants to destroy the world.】
When Shen Qingqiu saw that line: “…”
There was no way to fight back at all [waves bye-bye]. If he thought about it carefully, it was indeed true that ever since he entered this story, 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 unconsciously deviated from being an unscrupulous YY stallion novel into a pure love story filled with victories and losses centered around a crazy virgin entangled with melodrama.
As Shen Qingqiu stared at that row of sparkling medals, he suddenly noticed that there was a tiny pink “♀” symbol on the upper left corner of the achievement list.
He knew that the ♂ symbol represented male, while ♀ represented female, so he felt that it was a bit strange. “What does this symbol mean?”
The System: 【It indicates that the various achievements acquired on the list are all honors with a female inclination.】
Shen Qingqiu: “… you’re kidding me, right.”
The System: 【The genre classification of 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 has already been modified.】
Wait a second.
Why was it now female-oriented!
No wonder this kind of bizarre and melodramatic plot could actually earn so many medals! It turns out that it had already been reclassified as female-oriented, and was now being calculated according to standards for female-oriented works?!
Also, why did the female-oriented genre have a “Not a Bad Rub” medal. What did they have to rub!!!
Could it be that the main final ending point was to be reclassified to become female-oriented?!
Shen Qingqiu, who had learned the truth, finally sprayed out that mouthful of old blood that he had choked back from the very first day he transmigrated all the way until now.
As a result, a dense circle of heads surrounded him all at once.
Ning Yingying, Ming Fan, Qi Qingqi, Mu Qingfang, and a bunch of other people were all crowded at his bedside, everybody talking over each other, saying things like “oh no Shizun vomited blood is Shizun going to die” and “he won’t, once the blood is out he’ll be fine.” Gloomy and cold stone walls that were slightly damp surrounded them, as well as two tiny candles. Shen Qingqiu managed to make out that this was a spirit cave before the echoes jolted through him, making his head throb with pain. He couldn’t hear anything clearly as he hunched over, clutching his head, only to hear Liu Qingge say, “Everyone move aside!”
Once he spoke, everyone else immediately shut up. The younger generation stuck out their tongues before slipping back. The space they cleared out was filled by Liu Qingge, who stood with his arms crossed by the stone bed.
Shen Qingqiu finally managed to find someone who was reliable, and he clutched onto him and asked, “Where’s Luo Binghe?”
Liu Qingge’s face went dark, and he said, “He’s dead!”
Shen Qingqiu: “…dead?”
He really foolishly followed him and sacrificed himself in the name of love?!
Judging from Liu Qingge’s appearance, he didn’t seem like he was joking, nor did Liu Qingge ever joke around. Shen Qingqiu suddenly sat up, but his movements were too forceful as a dull pain abruptly came from his lower half.
His face immediately twisted, and he collapsed again with a thud.
This reaction was too exaggerated. Liu Qingge seemed as if he had received a huge shock as he stumbled three steps back, fidgeting awkwardly. He looked like he wanted to go forward and say something, but also like he wanted to run away. Qi Qingqi grabbed him and shrieked, “Look at you, look at you! What are you doing! We already told you not to scare him, but you scared him so much that he fainted again!”
Shen Qingqiu laid on the stone bed and raised his hand. “I didn’t faint. I…” There was just a certain part of him that hurt, and he wasn’t able to sit properly for the time being…
In the past, Ning Yingying was the most afraid of Bai Zhan Peak’s Peak Lord, but now she had some guts, and she threw a fit at Liu Qingge, stamping her feet. “Liu-shishu, how can you be like this. No matter how much you dislike Ah-Luo, you know that Shizun just woke up and won’t be able to bear any shocks. Yet… yet you just say whatever you want, randomly cursing him to death.”
Mu Qingfang also looked reproachful. “Liu-shixiong, this really isn’t any way to treat a sick person. It’s not good at all.”
This was the first time Liu Qingge became the target of public criticism. He wasn’t good with words in the first place, so he simply went back to the side of the table and spat out, “I won’t say anything anymore!”
Shen Qingqiu pressed a hand against his temples while he supported his waist with his other hand. “Who is going to tell me exactly whether he died or not.”
Qi Qingqi said, “He didn’t! That brat thought that you were on the brink of death, so he almost went over with you. Later, Mu-shidi said that you were fine and still breathing, so how could he bear to die?”
Thank the heavens a freak accident hadn’t occurred. Nobody would be able to withstand another freak accident.
Shen Qingqiu knew that what Liu Qingge had said just then was out of anger, but he had also been given a fright for a few seconds, so his self-respect felt a bit damaged. He criticized, “Peak Lord Liu, can you not be like this? I asked you first because I trusted you. You really make me feel disappointed.”
Liu Qingge glared at him. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t afraid of his glares, and he sat up sluggishly as he picked a position that wouldn’t press down too hard on his crucial parts and make them hurt. He asked, “What in the world happened? How am I back at Qing Jing Peak? What about Maigu Ridge? Where’s Luo Binghe?”
Qi Qingqi said, “No need to worry about Maigu Ridge anymore, it exploded long ago.”
Shen Qingqiu repeated, “Exploded?”
Qi Qingqi: “Didn’t you and Luo Binghe destroy the Xin Mo sword in Maigu Ridge? When the sword broke, the entire mountain exploded.”
Ming Fan squeezed in next to the bed. “Yeah, yeah, Shizun. Most of the mountain smashed onto the ice and created a really big hole. Later, the ice on Luochuan all melted. Both you and Luo Binghe fell into Luochuan, and it was Liu-shishu who fished both of you out.”
Shen Qingqiu was in the middle of accepting the cup of tea Ning Yingying was giving him. He was about to drink it, but fortunately, he hadn’t yet or else he definitely would’ve spat it out.
“Both of you”?
Shen Qingqiu shot a glance guiltily at Liu Qingge. If he didn’t remember incorrectly (how could he remember this kind of thing incorrectly), he and Luo Binghe had just finished at that time, hadn’t they!
Even though Luo Binghe had helped him dress afterward, there was still more or less proof of his sins left behind on his body. It would be strange if the great lord Liu couldn’t see anything abnormal with his all-seeing eyes.
No wonder Liu Qingge kept staring at him with those severe “have to cleanse the sect” eyes. Public indecency brought shame to the sects!
Qi Qingqi rambled, “He fished both of you up at once, and you two were hugging so tightly it was like you guys had rigor mortis, refusing to separate. So many people were watching too, isn’t that shameful, my great Cang Qiong Mountain…”
That was for sure, with everyone watching. Shen Qingqiu felt extremely remorseful. Even with thousands and thousands of precautions, he still wasn’t able to prevent Resentment of Chunshan from gaining new source material.
However, it was too strange that Luo Binghe had been willing to obediently send him back to Qing Jing Peak, and he actually hadn’t just directly taken Shen Qingqiu away, especially with the way Luo Binghe’s mind worked. Shen Qingqiu felt like it wasn’t quite normal, and he pursued the matter. “Then just where is Luo Binghe right now?”
Ning Yingying was still the one who remained cute and obedient. “Shizun, you slept for so many days and didn’t wake. Of course, he went to go look for spiritual medicine for you.”
Look for what spiritual medicine? He just barely managed to escape from the clutches of death and was resurrected at full health, so what was that brat doing running around wildly instead of kneeling at his bedside waiting for him to wake up? Leave that kind of chore for some little disciple to do!
Ning Yingying muttered quietly, “If only he weren’t driven down the mountain by the rest of the masters…”
Shen Qingqiu didn’t even feel like pretending to be aloof anymore. He couldn’t keep a poker face, and he ended up releasing a puff of laughter.
Luo Binghe had offended too many people from the Cang Qiong Mountain sect, so it was normal that he would be driven away. It was only that now, he actually knew that he should swallow his anger and be obediently driven away. It was truly pitiful.
However, as long as he was all right… then everything was fine.
It’d be a wonder if he was all right. Shen Qingqiu’s expression suddenly changed. “Zhangmen-shixiong!”
How could he forget that there was still Yue Qingyuan back there who had been on his last breath!
He flipped and stood up at once, stuffing his feet into his boots before running outside. Nobody else expected for him to suddenly jump up, and they all stood there stunned for a bit before they chased after him. Mu Qingfang shouted, “Shen-shixiong, you should lie down a bit more—”
After he ran out of the spirit caves in one breath, the fragrant, crisp, and damp scent of the mountains flooded into his nose. Suddenly, several dazzling golden fireworks exploded in the pitch-black night sky outside. If he listened carefully, he could even make out the sounds of voices and a rowdy clamor floating over from Qiong Ding Palace.
While Shen Qingqiu adjusted his boots, he asked, “What’s going on? Why is it so noisy over on Qiong Ding Peak? Where’s Zhangmen-shixiong?”
Qi Qingqi tugged at her chest garment, which had become crooked, and she said irritably, “So you still remember to be concerned about Zhangmen-shixiong, hah. He didn’t die.”
Mu Qingfang laughed. “Shen-shixiong, you truly woke up at the perfect time. You won’t miss the celebration.”
When Shen Qingqiu heard that Yue Qingyuan was in good health, he let out a sigh of relief. It looked like drawing his sword at Maigu Ridge hadn’t actually used up all of Yue Qingyuan’s lifespan, or else Shen Qingqiu really wouldn’t know how to live with himself. He didn’t know whether other people had found out about Xuan Su’s secret either.
As his thoughts changed direction, he began to wonder shamelessly: what celebration? Could it be that they were celebrating how he finally woke up? There was no need to go through such trouble and put on such a show, what an inconvenience.
It seemed like Liu Qingge had guessed what he was thinking, and he unhesitatingly destroyed Shen Qingqiu’s ego. “They’re celebrating successfully preventing the two realms from merging. It’s got nothing to do with you.”
Shen Qingqiu said, embarrassed, “Is it impossible to also celebrate a bit for me along the way?”
Since it was a celebration held for an event of such universal rejoicing, naturally the people from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect were not the only ones attending. All the various sects that had participated in the battle at Luochuan had all been invited. There was a clamor of voices on Qiong Ding Peak, the crowds dense, and Shen Qingqiu also saw quite a few familiar faces. Those three beautiful Daoist nuns were currently pestering somebody with warm words and soft voices, and the person they were bothering was actually the cold and refined, full of righteousness Liu Mingyan, the gauze still covering her face.
Now, Shen Qingqiu had an extremely strange feeling when he looked at Luo Binghe’s harem gathered together, vying for the spot of top beauty. He was just as passionate about observing them as before, but he could no longer observe them with the same YY attitude anymore. He peered at them from the corner of his eyes a few times, only to hear the three sisters say with delicate voices, “Dear big sister, dear mistress, dear senior, can you give me an autograph?”
“We finally managed to find the author, so please let us have a keepsake.”
“Is it really out of print? There won’t be any more copies?”
They held a pile of garishly bright booklets, stuffing them towards Liu Mingyan. The booklets seemed extremely familiar, and Shen Qingqiu secretly felt puzzled, as if he should care about those booklets a lot. Just when he was about to walk over to see what exactly the three large characters written on the cover were, suddenly a figure furtively flashed to the side of him.
Shen Qingqiu quickly caught up to him and grabbed onto the person. He said coolly, “You still dare to come to Qiong Ding Peak? You’re not afraid of Qi Qingqi skinning you alive?”
After being caught by someone, Shang Qinghua nearly kneeled on the spot then and there. When he heard that it was Shen Qingqiu, he let out a long sigh and turned. “Why, Cucumber Bro, for better or worse, you and I share a friendship since we’re from the same place and suffered similar circumstances from being beaten up. Don’t be in such a hurry to chase someone away.”
Shen Qingqiu, “If you dare to come on Cang Qiong Mountain, then that means your whitewashing has already succeeded?”
Shang Qinghua, “Correct. If I say how, I’m afraid I’ll scare Cucumber Bro. I’m probably going to come back and become An Ding Peak’s Peak Lord again. This is all thanks to Bing-ge’s3 influence, may he live long and in peace.”
Shen Qingqiu, “Yue Qingyuan let you come back?”
Shang Qinghua, “This is called the return of the prodigal son who has mended his ways. It’s not like I did anything particularly outrageous, so why wouldn’t he let me come back?”
Shen Qingqiu let him go. He said resentfully, “Zhangmen-shixiong is too nice.”
Shang Qinghua fixed his collar. “Why else would he be so unlucky? Good people are taken advantage of.”
Shen Qingqiu looked him up and down. “You don’t look crushed at all after all this foolish messing around ended up completely changing your own novel.”
Shang Qinghua said, “You can’t say it like that ah. Maybe you think it’s just all foolish messing around that isn’t worth a damn, but for Bing-ge, your foolish messing around is probably the meaning of this entire world.”
… holy s***, Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was able to say something like that?!
Shen Qingqiu was terrified. “F***. You didn’t turn back into the original character, did you?”
Shang Qinghua said seriously, “Don’t be like that. I’m also a young person with literary ideals. Of course, I have my own reflections and emotions.”
Shen Qingqiu laughed coldly. “What literary ideals? How come all I saw in the original work was shameless fanservice?” Not to mention his hand speed that could produce ten thousand words a day, and the courage to even occasionally explode with twenty thousand. If he didn’t have such equipment, there was no way 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 would have been able to hold out before it was serialized!
Shang Qinghua spread his hands. “You think that I always wrote shameless content that lacked any integrity from the very start? I’ve also written belles-lettres4 before, but they were all unpopular, so I had no choice but to go down a path that catered to the masses. It must be said that writing novels is a very lonely undertaking. Rather than writing a stallion male protagonist who’ll be stereotypical in the end, it’s more in line with my philosophy for writing to create the current Bing-ge━this kind of weirdo male protagonist whose character is a bit more complicated, has contradictions and conflicts, and has a rough destiny.”
Shen Qingqiu concluded, “So, your philosophy for writing is to write about gay guys?”
Shang Qinghua: “Do you look down upon gay male protagonists? Works of art and artists all like to create gay guys. Belles-lettres favors gays, do you know that?”
He waved his arms wildly and passionately. “Cucumber Bro, if the System hadn’t chosen you, this faithful die-hard reader, perhaps the plot wouldn’t have deviated so thoroughly, thoroughly to the point that it deviated all the way back to my original scrapped outline. Even though the me back in reality━who couldn’t endure the loneliness and was under financial pressure━chose to finish writing 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》 according to other people’s preferences and what they found cool… now, all thanks to you, essentially everything that I wanted to write has already unfolded in front of my eyes. Cucumber Bro!”
He patted Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders with deep sentiment and solemnity. “You… are the chosen one; as for my career, I have no more regrets!”
… why did it sound like the System and this world were both products of Shang Qinghua’s resentment over scrapping that outline and going with what was mainstream?
Shen Qingqiu, who shamefully became this kind of “chosen one”: “Who’s your faithful die-hard reader?”
Shang Qinghua waved his hand and one-sidedly declared his victory. “I’m not going to talk to you; you’re an anti-fan.”
Shen Qingqiu was about to say, “I’m only an anti, not a fan!” when he suddenly heard Shang Qinghua starting crooning something like, “Emotions are warm, kindness hard to bear, lips moving together, desires turning the evening to the next morning, never resting from dawn to dusk.” The crucial point was that melody, which sounded extremely familiar to the point that it made Shen Qingqiu’s hands and teeth itch. He pointed at him and said, “Shang Qinghua, what are you singing?”
Shang Qinghua continued to croon. “The warmth of emotions makes gratitude hard to bear. Lips to lips, locked in a kiss. Let this night linger ‘til tomorrow’s dawn. Day after day, night after night; never to end. Will tomorrow be another today? When ‘til Zheng Yang reaches its zenith? As Zheng Yang ascends, the voice of Autumn stirs. A sheathless Xiu Ya, a spurt of cold nectar. Tragic pleas amidst choked sobs, thus in vain; for he rises again5…”
Shen Qingqiu was in disbelief. “F*** you—why don’t you just try and sing another line?”
Shang Qinghua said, “Great Lord Shen, why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying? You must never go around casually f***ing people. Bing-ge will go crazy. I’m telling you, this Resentment of Chunshan is equivalent to Shi Ba Mo6. You two are the legendary national homos, do you understand? I have no problems with you shutting me up, but ultimately it’s useless. You can’t possibly make all the countless people in the world shut up…”
Finally, Shen Qingqiu was able to fulfill his wish of violently beating up Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky.
How despicable. Too despicable!!!
This kind of author who dug plot holes and left them unfinished; whose characters collapsed to Siberia yet still went viral7; who even dragged in readers to help fill the plot holes with a “you can you up”8 attitude—fully deserved to be totally beaten to death!
Just when he was ready to drag Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky into the dark forest nearby and continue doing this and that, he suddenly heard a familiar “Amitabha” from behind him. Great Master Wu Chen said, “It’s truly a great blessing that Peak Lord Shen came out safe and sound.”
Shen Qingqiu steadied himself and turned around, only to see the two abbots from Zhao Hua Temple walking slowly towards him, along with Yue Qingyuan.
He relinquished Shang Qinghua and slightly rearranged his appearance. He smiled genuinely from his heart. “Zhangmen-shixiong, Great Master Wu Chen, Great Master Wu Wang.”
Yue Qingyuan’s complexion didn’t look frail at all, and he also smiled back in return. Wu Wang leveled Shen Qingqiu with a look and walked away extremely pointedly. That expression was exactly like that of an old Daoist scholar whose head was full of old-fashioned ways of thinking and happened to see a woman who had taken the wrong path in life. It terrified him to the point that he gave a shudder.
Great Master Wu Chen said, “Peak Lord Shen, don’t argue with Great Master Wu Wang. Ever since this old monk lost both legs at Jinlan City, Great Master Wu Wang has held extreme loathing for the demon race. In turn, also towards Peak Lord Shen…”
Shen Qingqiu rubbed his nose and said indifferently, “No matter.”
Being disliked by an old bald donkey didn’t mean much.
Great Master Wu Chen said, “However, he’s gotten much better now. When Tianlang-Jun was kept at Zhao Hua Temple, Great Master Wu Wang never made things difficult for him.”
Shen Qingqiu, “Tianlang-Jun was detained by Zhao Hua Temple?”
Great Master Wu Chen, “It can’t be considered detainment. This old monk just wanted to have a long chat with him about dharma, while simultaneously helping him to slow down the deterioration of the Dew Seed body. After he stabilizes in a few years, then he may go free. When that time comes, he can do as he likes, whether that be continuing to travel the human realm or bringing Zhuzhi-Lang’s body back to the demon race. This old monk believes that he doesn’t actually have any evil tendencies; even if he did once upon a time, they should be gone now.”
At Jinlan City, Great Master Wu Chen’s legs had been destroyed by sowers who were sent by Tianlang-Jun. Yet for him not to pick a bone over that, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but feel admiration. Moreover, he wasn’t carelessly merciful.
At their last encounter, Shen Qingqiu had also felt that Tianlang-Jun probably wouldn’t have any desire to destroy the world ever again. That wasn’t what he really wanted or liked to do in the first place.
It was just that without a slightly foolish Zhuzhi-Lang following behind him, helping him to settle accounts, fend off minions, collect strange little books—there would be an unavoidable sadness every now and then.
Just like the him right now.
The monks from Zhao Hua Temple left first, heading for Qiong Ding Palace. Though Yue Qingyuan was the Sect Master, he didn’t go with them. Instead, he stood in his original spot, staring silently at Shen Qingqiu. For some unknown reason, Shen Qingqiu felt slightly awkward standing across from him.
As if testing it out, Yue Qingyuan let out a, “Xiao Jiu…”
Shen Qingqiu: “Shixiong, it’s Qingqiu.”
Even though it was hard to explain the truth to Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu still hoped that he could show him the difference as much as possible.
Yue Qingyuan gave a start before he smiled weakly. “… It’s Qingqiu. Qingqiu-shidi.”
Shen Qingqiu glanced at Xuan Su, hanging from his waist. He hadn’t spoken yet before Yue Qingyuan spontaneously said, “Shidi, no need to worry. I will go into secluded cultivation after this again for several months, so I should be in good health for the time being.”
Shen Qingqiu said, “Then Zhangmen-shixiong must not impulsively draw his sword from now on. Your cultivation can improve, your realm can still rise, but there is no way to recover your lifespan.”
Yue Qingyuan shook his head slowly. “My lifespan is not the only thing that cannot be recovered.”
Amidst the sound of young disciples cheering and laughing, the two of them walked unhurriedly towards Qiong Ding Palace under the clusters of fireworks overhead.
Yue Qingyuan, “What do you plan to do after this?”
Shen Qingqiu, “For now, I have no plans. When Luo Binghe returns, I suppose I’ll see what he wants to do.”
Yue Qingyuan laughed. “You really do adore this disciple of yours very much.”
Shen Qingqiu was just pondering over how he should answer when he suddenly heard Yue Qingyuan say, “Shidi. Cang Qiong Mountain will always be somewhere you can turn to and come back anytime you feel tired from wandering about outside.”
He spoke extremely earnestly and seriously.
Yue Qingyuan had always been like this: he would inevitably accomplish everything he promised. If he could not, he wouldn’t hesitate to make up for it no matter the cost.
Ever since Shen Qingqiu entered the role of a character in the novel, he had always refused to become that scum villain from the original work. He had drawn a clear boundary and was proud of doing the complete opposite. There had never been a moment where he had as intense and impulsive a thought as he did now.
If he really were Shen Jiu, then everything would be fine.
If that person could really hear what Yue Qingyuan just said, then everything would be fine.
Shen Qingqiu walked slower and slower until he suddenly lifted his head and looked as far as he could see as if he had sensed something. Separated by the crowd, Luo Binghe stood in front of him, underneath Qiong Ding Palace’s tall white stone platform.
He stood all alone, acting as though nobody else was there. But when the pedestrians strolling around saw that face of his, they wore all sorts of different expressions. Shen Qingqiu subconsciously jogged a few steps forward before he looked back again and glanced at the person behind him.
Yue Qingyuan said, “Go ahead.”
He stood cheerfully and silently behind Shen Qingqiu. Just like the past, just like the future.
One particular year, the insolent demon race came to Qiong Ding Peak to provoke and demonstrate their strength. There was quite a bit of smashing, fighting, and burning; they had also destroyed a pile of floor tiles while wielding a hammer.
Luo Binghe was currently staring, head lowered, at the cracks between the white bricks on the ground when he suddenly heard the familiar sound of a fan unfolding. A pair of white boots stepped over the crack in the stone, through which a motley assortment of young vegetation had already sprouted.
He raised his head abruptly.
Shen Qingqiu shook his fan. “Don’t ask any questions. This master wants to first ask you: as a disciple, why were you not respectfully and quietly waiting for Shizun to awaken, instead of leaving to run wildly about?”
Luo Binghe composed his excited expression with great difficulty, and he said, stifling his emotions, “Nobody welcomes me on Cang Qiong Mountain. I could only occasionally go and secretly take a peek. When I didn’t see Shizun just then in the spirit cave, I thought that Shizun had been hidden by them, or, Shizun left again…”
As Shen Qingqiu listened to his slightly wronged explanation, he couldn’t help but remember what Shang Qinghua had just said.
If Shen Qingqiu hadn’t meddled in everything, Luo Binghe most likely would have really blackened to the end, becoming the dark youth from the original work who tore people into human sticks with his bare hands and cursed the world and himself. Even though now he had grown up into a romantic young man, it didn’t seem to be much of an improvement… but, for better or worse, there were still aspects of him that made him lovable, right?
At least Shen Qingqiu only discovered now that he himself truly quite liked this type.
Shen Qingqiu sighed. “You know you’re unwelcome, yet you still obediently sent me back to Cang Qiong Mountain?”
Luo Binghe, “I thought that Shizun would definitely want to see Cang Qiong Mountain more when you first woke up…”
In spite of his image, Shen Qingqiu made an exception and smacked him on the forehead with his fan.
He said resentfully, “Of course the one this master wants to see first the most is you!”
Luo Binghe endured the smack, but he was so stirred up that his face grew red. His eyes also started to grow watery, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. Shen Qingqiu almost couldn’t take it anymore, feeling weak from head to toe after being stared at by that kind of gaze, when he suddenly heard shouts and the sounds of swords rise around him.
Yang Yixuan stood on the eaves of Qiong Ding Palace. He yelled, “Sure enough, that demon race rascal is back again to bother Master Shen!”
Immediately, there were countless answers to his cry, as people instantly reproached, “He still dares to come! Ready your weapons, where’s my weapon?”
“Shixiong, that’s my sword, give it back! If you want to fight, go back and get your own!”
No wonder Luo Binghe hadn’t kept watch by his side, waiting for him to wake. It turned out that everyone was still clamoring to beat him up on Cang Qiong Mountain; what a “warm welcome.”
Shen Qingqiu said helplessly, “Oh, not bad. Your judgment was correct. You really could only come in secret with these circumstances.”
Luo Binghe said softly, “I said long ago that I was unwelcome here.”
Shen Qingqiu rubbed the top of his head. “No worries. Shizun welcomes you.”
Qiong Ding Peak was filled with shouts for fights and killing, interspersed with genuine and fake cries. The ones eager to give it a try were all a bunch of disciples who wished to see the world in chaos. The majority belonged to peaceful passersby who turned blind eyes to Luo Binghe, that world-destroying demon king. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and he said, “It would be better to leave.”
Luo Binghe didn’t react for a short while. “Leave?”
Shen Qingqiu nodded. “Didn’t you say that you weren’t welcome here? Then go, to somewhere that will welcome you.”
He added, “This time, no matter where you want to go, this master will accompany you.”
Because of that sentence, Luo Binghe’s face, which looked to be very intelligent, was taken over by a stupefied expression that was unbearable to watch.
Shen Qingqiu hadn’t lowered his voice. Besides Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s disciples, the peak was squeezed full of cultivators from all sects who had received invitations to come and enjoy the celebration. Their senses were keen, so they didn’t have any justification for not hearing it clearly, but they all simultaneously pretended they were deaf. Those watching the fireworks pointed at the sky, those conversing laughed so loudly that they almost shook the roof.
Their cooperation was out of careful consideration for Cang Qiong Mountain’s reputation, but Liu Qingge didn’t appreciate it. He jumped down from the roof and shouted at Shen Qingqiu, nearly out of flustered exasperation, “Hey!”
Qi Qingqi was in a rage. “… this old woman doesn’t care anymore! Go wherever you want! Shen Qingqiu, you, you two… Mingyan, let’s go! Why are you watching?! What is there to watch, have you never seen shamelessness?!”
“Shimei. Don’t create bad karma from your words. Your image ah…”
The current Cang Qiong Mountain━besides shielding someone’s wrongdoings, carrying out forceful eviction, and being very familiar with the demon race━also housed a master and disciple pair who served as the leading roles for pornographic novels. Were there any other images that could leave such a deep impression on people’s hearts? Shen Qingqiu thought a bit and was actually rendered speechless.
Like leading a child, Shen Qingqiu took Luo Binghe’s hand. He didn’t know when it had happened, but somehow it had changed into Luo Binghe leading him.
He could feel the fingers covering the back of his hand gradually tightening, gripping more firmly. Forcefully, to the point that it felt painful. Luo Binghe lifted his head slowly, and the entire river of stars filling the sky glimmered and flickered in the depths of his pitch-black eyes.
Shen Qingqiu was used to the sight, and he turned his head, his frame of mind now greatly changed like that of an old monk after a pilgrimage9.
After experiencing countless hardships and suffering through trials and tribulations, he finally surrendered to an earth-shattering disciple, managing to obtain enlightenment with great difficulty. So, he might as well and just let him cry a bit. In any case, that was just how Luo Binghe was. To tell the truth, with such an unconstrained, tumultuous rollercoaster of a plot, Shen Qingqiu also wanted to let his old tears flow freely ah.
As for the transformation of this unique, spectacular novel: it’s true that the Great God Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had no regrets remaining for his career, nor could the unmatched troll Peerless Cucumber still say that he disliked it.
If the author won’t fill plot holes, then this old man will do it himself. In all the long history of stallion novels, where could you find a reader like him, who took the lead and gave his own life to filling holes? Devoting so much just to rescue the B points for an incomparably absurd, brainless, beginner-level YY novel!
Even though some deviations had probably occurred during the rescue, at… the very least… he… truly accomplished “you can you up, no can no BB”10!
The second he flipped open《Proud Immortal Demon Way》, the story officially began; the moment he closed 《Proud Immortal Demon Way》, the story still remained unfinished.
Or, in other words, the story that circulated among the people of the world has already come to an end. But, the story between you and me has only just begun.
－Finish－
BGM – background music
尚可一撸 – slang meaning “rubbing one out”
A nickname for Luo Binghe. The “ge” part means elder brother.
The closest translation of 纯文学 I could find was belles-lettres, which is essentially “light, entertaining, and often sophisticated literature” basically – writing that’s actually good and scholarly, not like YY stallion novels
Non-literally translated by Lianyin since it’s meant to be a tragic love song about a master-disciple…who love to papapa. We hope the double entendres are clear.
十八摸 – a folk song that everyone knows. Most people can hum a few lines of it but very few can sing the entire song.
喜大普奔, the closest translation I could think of personally was “going viral,” while the literal translation is “news so exhilarating that everyone is celebrating/spreading it around the world” – it’s meant to convey exaggerated enthusiasm.
You can you up (originally in English) is part of a fuller Chinglish slang phrase (you can you up, no can no BB), which criticizes people who complain about something someone else has done by essentially saying ‘if you can do it better, then you do it’)
取经老僧, literally referring to the journey monks made to India to learn more about Buddhist scriptures/become enlightened. People are probably most familiar with ‘Journey to the West’ (西游记) in which the monkey king Song Wukong escorts the monk (Tang Seng) on his journey to, well, the west.
See previous note. Meaning: “Criticism?! Let’s see you do better!”
