The Two Hundred and Eighty Pound Fat Girl and Her Five Husbands-Chapter 293: Slapstick

"Hey! Young lady, young lady!"

"Are you calling me?"

Lin Zaozao turned around and said to the woman who was waving at her.

"If not you, then who else? Come over here."

Facing the woman's warm greeting, Lin Zaozao walked towards those women with Gu Shan.

But as soon as they reached the mat where the women were sitting, Gu Shan refused to go any further.

"What's wrong, Gu Shan?"

"They don't have any killing intent, so I don't need to be on guard against them. Besides, they're all women.

Lin Zaozao, I promised you that in this lifetime, I won't touch any other woman. They're sitting too closely together, and I'm afraid that if I go over there, I might accidentally touch them."

Hearing Gu Shan's words, Lin Zaozao turned her head to look at these wolf-like women, and could only let Gu Shan stay where he was.

Gu Shan belonged to her, and she didn't want any other woman's hands to touch his body. No matter how open-minded she was, there were some things she couldn't be open-minded about.

She first found a thick mat from the side and spread it on the ground for Gu Shan to sit and rest. Then she got a large steamed bun and a water pouch from Ming Zhu and handed them to Gu Shan.

"Be good, Gu Shan! Sit obediently here, and I'll be right back when I'm done."

"Alright, I'll guard you here. If any of them dares to harm you, I promise my knife will be faster than their hands."

Looking into Gu Shan's serious eyes, Lin Zaozao felt touched and couldn't help but give him a kiss.

"Yes! My dear Gu Shan, you just guard me well here!"

After saying that, Lin Zaozao turned and walked towards those women.

She arrived at their circle and sat down among them without ceremony, directly grabbing one woman's hand and starting to transfer their illnesses away without a sound.

"Young lady, is that man sitting over there your husband?"

"Yes! How about it? Handsome, right?"

Lin Zaozao exchanged a glance with Gu Shan, their eyes full of pride.

"Not bad looking, but his temperament is a bit too cold."

A woman with slightly thick lips, around thirty years old, smiled and said.

"I think you're a bit older than me, so I'll just call you 'Sister'. Sister, although my Gu Shan's temper is cold, he's only cold towards outsiders.

Because he's poured all his warmth onto me. That fiery passion, ah! It can warm my heart."

Hearing Lin Zaozao's proud voice, a girl in her twenties, wrapped in a thick fur blanket, couldn't help but laugh.

"Girl, what's your name?"

"Lin Zaozao, you can all just call me Zaozao."

Lin Zaozao released the woman's hand and pulled the girl's hand instead.

"Little sister, your hand feels a bit cold!"

"Zaozao, I'm sick, so don't touch me or you might catch my illness."

"It's fine, I have an indestructible body, so I'm not afraid of any illness! Moreover, I have a very amazing ability - as long as I make contact with handsome men and beautiful women, I can dispel their illnesses."

"Really, is it that effective?"

The surrounding women looked at Lin Zaozao in disbelief.

"Of course. If you don't believe me, ask these two sisters. Didn't their bodies feel much better after I made contact with them?"

Hearing Lin Zaozao's words, the two sisters whose illnesses Lin Zaozao had transferred away realized that their bodies did indeed feel much better.

"Zaozao, are you a celestial being reborn? How could you have such an amazing ability?"

The girl wrapped in the thick fur blanket rubbed her arms, her eyes filled with disbelief.

She felt that she wasn't as cold as before.

"I don't know if I'm a reborn celestial physician. But what I do know is that with this ability, I can touch all you beautiful ladies' hands.

Come on, beautiful ladies, let this girl touch your delicate hands and help alleviate your illnesses!"

After speaking, Lin Zaozao pounced forward towards the surrounding women. Soon, laughter and ribald jokes filled the air.

"Zaozao, your butt is a bit small. No problem, just squeeze it more often, and maybe it'll grow bigger."

"That's easy, I'll just have my husband squeeze it well later. But Sister, your butt is quite big, that must be thanks to your husband's efforts."

"Envious, are you?"

"Of course I'm envious!"

"Then it's simple, how about I have your husband squeeze yours for you first?"

Seeing the hand reaching towards her butt, Lin Zaozao quickly moved to another girl's side.

"Sister, my figure isn't something that can be squeezed into shape overnight."

She patted her butt, then leaned towards a girl with a small braid and said while looking at her face:

"Sister, you have such a handsome face! It's a pity you're a woman. If you were a man, how about marrying me?"

"Being a woman is fine too! Come here, Zaozao, into this sister's embrace, this sister can definitely satisfy you..."

Before Lin Zaozao could react, the girl pulled her into an embrace.

After a burst of hearty laughter, Lin Zaozao had successfully transferred the girl's illness away. But the girl had also thoroughly felt her up.

Oh my! In this era, she felt that was quite bold already. But compared to these nomadic sisters, her level of boldness was still not up to par.

After Lin Zaozao had transferred away everyone's illnesses, their complexions had regained some rosiness.

As for whether it was from laughing like that, or from Lin Zaozao's illness-transferring ability, it was probably a combination of both.

In any case, no matter who took advantage of whom, both parties were quite happy.

Being able to encounter like-minded people here, the feeling was truly indescribable with words.

"Zaozao, after this calamity passes, come to the steppes, and this sister will treat you to roasted meat."

"Okay! At that time, I'll definitely bring my husbands along to the steppes."

"Wonderful! You're truly a good girl. Zaozao, you're completely different from those women in the Central Plains."

"How am I different?"

Lin Zaozao straightened her clothes that they had messed up and asked with a smile.

"Zaozao, I visited the Central Plains before. My third husband does fur trading, and we brought a huge batch of furs to sell in Lan City at that time.

There were people willing to buy our furs, but those people looked down on the scent on our bodies.

They said the gamey odor from us nomads could suffocate someone to death. With those words, although our living conditions in the steppes might not be as good as yours in the Central Plains where you can bathe every day, our bodies were still clean!"

"Sister, different types of rice can nourish different kinds of people. There are good and bad people everywhere. You were probably just unlucky and met bad people. My husbands are mostly from Lan City.

But their characters are all gentle and kind. Look..."

Lin Zaozao pointed at Ji Fantian, Xiao Taohua, Ye Yi, and the others who were busy working, explaining to the women sitting beside her:

"They're all my husbands. But when they learned that the steppes were suffering a once-in-a-century calamity, the first thing they did was gather supplies and come here to help you all.

If you say they're also bad people, then that's truly unreasonable. Sisters, the husbands in my family are all truly good people."

"It seems we were just unlucky and met bad people. But Zaozao..."

The woman pulled Lin Zaozao's sleeve and lowered her voice near her ear:

"Zaozao, the Empress of Canglan and the Empress of Fengshuo, they're not good people at all."

Every winter, we used to have a hard time living outside the borders. But they would still send people to come and capture us.

If we didn't let them capture us, they would spread rumors everywhere, saying that once winter came, we commoners outside the borders would come inside and loot people and things.

They blamed all the bad deeds they did on us. This time, the reason we were able to come here and take refuge was thanks to the Empress of Han Country.

What was her name? Oh yes, it was Ming Zhu. If she hadn't escorted us all the way, we would never have made it here safely to take refuge.

"Is that so?"

Lin Zaozao felt a little guilty and touched her nose, agreeing.

The one who escorted them here should have been Brother Ye Yi, right? At that time, she was in the Eighteen Floors in Mount Gu, so how could she have had time to escort them here?

"Of course, that's right. By the way, Zaozao, do you know that Empress of Han Country?"

"You could say I know her!"

"Then what kind of person is she?"

All the women stared intently at Lin Zaozao, awaiting her next words.

"That, that... I, I am..."

Lin Zaozao looked around guiltily, then puffed out her small chest and said in a serious manner:

"I am the wife of the elder son of the sister of the wife of the third husband of the goddaughter of the uncle who is the bodyguard of Her Majesty Ming Zhu.

Overall, Princess Ming Zhu of Han Country and I have a direct familial relationship."

"Is that so?"

The people looked at each other, then lowered their heads and counted on their fingers, slowly calculating the relationship of the wife of the elder son of the sister of the wife of the third husband of the goddaughter of the bodyguard uncle of Her Majesty.

After going around in a circle, these women were still in a daze.

Just as she was about to ask Lin Zaozao in detail about her relationship with Empress Ming Zhu, Ji Fantian called out to her.

"Zaozao, there is a patient here whose condition is quite serious. Come take a look."

"Dear beautiful ladies, I'll be going now. Don't worry, there will be other people from the Divine Healer clan who will come and take your pulse.

Rest assured, the medical skills of the Divine Healer clan are unmatched in the world. As long as they are here, you will surely recover from your illnesses."

After waving at them, Lin Zaozao quickly went to Gu Shan's side and supported him as they walked towards Ji Fantian.

"Zaozao, about what you said earlier, the wife of the elder son of the sister of the wife of the third husband of the goddaughter of the bodyguard uncle of Her Majesty: how does that work? I can't figure it out."

Faced with Gu Shan's confusion, Lin Zaozao couldn't help but want to laugh. She put her arm around his and explained in a low voice:

"Gu Shan, my bodyguard is Dashan, and Dashan's uncle is Uncle Zhang. So my status is equivalent to Uncle Zhang's goddaughter. I'm the wife of my third husband. As for my sister, that's still me. And the wife of my elder son's family, that's also me. In the end, it's still me! Do you understand?"

"I don't understand!"

Gu Shan answered seriously.

"Hahaha... If you don't understand, it's fine. I was just making it up anyway. Hehehe..."

Lin Zaozao laughed lightly.

"Zaozao, this person's illness is quite serious, and his identity is also different. Could you stabilize his condition first?"

Ji Fantian pulled Lin Zaozao's hand and walked towards a tent.

Following Ji Fantian into the tent, Lin Zaozao looked up and saw a tall: gorilla.