The Young Miss Refuse To Love-Chapter 80: I’m sorry

"Jianyi, why are you so quiet? Are you really going to reject him?" Lin Qingqing nudged her, casting a confused glance her way, as if unable to understand why her friend would hesitate.

Qi Jianyi blinked, pulled from her daze, and forced a smile. Turning back to Xu Yichen, she uttered softly, "I like you too." The words slipped out just as they had five years ago, filled with a breathless sincerity that felt as natural as it did surreal.

"I like you, Xu Yichen," she repeated, her voice catching slightly.

The fifteen-year-old version of herself had truly loved him, without reservation or caution. Qi Jianyi knew, even as she stood there now aware it was all just a dream, that she wouldn’t rewrite this part of her life.

No matter the hurt that had come later, the happiness and thrill of those early moments remained unspoiled in her memory.

Maybe in ten or twenty years, she would look back and think to herself naive, wondering if she would have made different choices had she been able to turn back time. But right now, she allowed herself to relive it all—the honesty, the heartache, and the bittersweet bliss.

As her words sank in, Xu Yichen’s face flushed with happiness and surprise. His shy, embarrassed grin stretched into an uncontained smile, and his eyes sparkled with a boyish excitement.

"I’ll see you after school then," he said, his voice a mixture of exhilaration and nervousness. With a giddy smile, he trotted out of the classroom, pulling his friends along, his laughter echoing down the hallway. freēnovelkiss.com

In the silence that followed, Qi Jianyi watched his retreating figure, feeling the weight of time drift away. Here, in this fleeting dream, she was fifteen again, basking in the warmth of first love.

"Stop staring at the door, that guy’s long gone," Lin Qingqing teased, snapping Qi Jianyi back to the present as she took a seat beside her.

Hearing her friend’s playful remark, Qi Jianyi managed a soft smile and turned her attention back to Lin Qingqing. "Qingqing, it’s been a while," she murmured, the words slipping out almost unconsciously, carrying a weight that felt bittersweet.

Lin Qingqing looked at her, frowning slightly. "Why do you keep looking at me with those nostalgic eyes?" She reached out and pulled Qi Jianyi down to sit beside her.

"Nothing," Qi Jianyi replied, but she could feel the prickling heat in her eyes, the familiar sting of tears threatening to spill over.

Alarmed, Lin Qingqing’s face shifted from playful to concerned. "What’s wrong?" she asked, voice softening. This was, after all, Qi Jianyi—their heartless friend, the one who never shed tears easily.

Qi Jianyi took a shaky breath and offered a sad smile. "Qingqing, I never wanted to push you away. I was just... too focused on my goals, so consumed by them that I forgot I had someone like you by my side. I’m sorry," she whispered, the regret in her words raw and aching.

Somewhere, she knew this was all just a dream. None of this was real. But the apology, the longing to mend what had been broken, was genuine.

Lin Qingqing tilted her head in confusion. "What are you even saying, Jianyi?" she asked, brow furrowing.

A soft, almost inaudible sigh escaped Qi Jianyi’s lips. "I hope you’re happy... wherever you are," she said, her voice a gentle murmur filled with yearning.

Lin Qingqing blinked, not grasping the meaning behind her friend’s words, but she nodded with an earnest smile. "What are you talking about, Jianyi? No matter where I am, I’d still be with you. We’ll be happy together."

Qi Jianyi felt her lips curve into a faint, wistful smile. "Yes... we’ll be happy together," she echoed softly, savoring each word.

As she blinked, Lin Qingqing’s face—still vibrant with that same familiar smile—began to fade, becoming paler, translucent. The classroom dimmed, the world she’d slipped into now receding like sand slipping through her fingers. Reality was calling her back, the dream fading away with the last remnants of her friend’s smiling face.

With a quiet exhale, Qi Jianyi let herself go, allowing the memories and the dream to dissolve into the morning light.

Qi Jianyi opened her eyes and the familiar yet foreign sight of the original Qi Jianyi’s room greeted her, a silent reminder that she was still bound to this strange world.

She sat up slowly, leaning against the headboard, her gaze drifting toward the plain brown walls as memories tugged at her mind, drawing her into a quiet storm of reflection.

For a moment, everything felt disjointed, like fractured glass. What was real, and what was not had blurred into one.

She was the Qi Jianyi who had basked in a school life filled with laughter and friends, yet she was also the Qi Jianyi who had drifted away from everyone, a stranger even to herself.

She was supposed to be at the height of her youth—a twenty-year-old, a first-year university student, with new friends and new dreams waiting just beyond reach. But here she was, adrift in a world layered with questions, struggling to understand what was true and what was only a memory.

"I’m too young for this," Qi Jianyi murmured to herself, the words a quiet protest against the weight pressing on her chest as tears slid silently down her cheeks. Since her sudden arrival in this world, she had lost track of how many times she’d cried.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and let her tears fall freely. Qi Jianyi remembered the fear that gripped her heart the first time she awoke in this room, the panic that had clawed at her when she realised this wasn’t a dream and there was no way back. That fear had curdled into anger when she pieced together the cruel truth of her abrupt transmigration.

In her time in this unfamiliar world, Qi Jianyi had met Song Chengfeng, had grown closer to He Zeqing and her twin brothers, and even became friends with Ling Xi.

Despite her resistance, her life had threaded together with others, connecting her in ways Qi Jianyi hadn’t anticipated, her heart reluctant yet still drawn to these new bonds.

But now, that vivid, all-too-real dream had shaken her, leaving her hollow and raw. It felt like a warning, a reminder not to lose sight of the life she’d left behind. Her real life. The life she wasn’t meant to forget.

"I don’t belong here," she whispered, the words echoing within her as if they’d been spoken a thousand times since she first awoke in this unfamiliar world.

A soft knock interrupted Qi Jianyi’s turbulent thoughts. She quickly brushed away the traces of her tears as Mrs. Qi entered, her mother’s warm presence filling the room.

"Jianyi, still sleeping?" Mrs. Qi’s gentle voice was filled with concern as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I just woke up, Mom," Qi Jianyi replied, attempting a calm tone, but the roughness in her voice betrayed her.

Mrs. Qi’s eyes widened when she noticed the faint tear stains still lingering on her daughter’s cheeks. "Why are you crying, baby?" she asked, worry knitting her brow as she reached out, gently wiping away the remnants of Qi Jianyi’s tears.

Qi Jianyi mustered a smile, shaking her head. "It’s nothing, Mom. Just a nightmare," she whispered, trying to make it sound convincing.

But as Mrs. Qi continued to softly caress her face, the ache of longing for her real mother returned, sharp and unbidden. Qi Jianyi felt guilty. The woman in front of her was her mother in this world yet all she did was miss her real mother everytime Mrs.Qi treated her with love.

"Are you sure it was just a nightmare?" Mrs. Qi’s voice was serious, searching her daughter’s face as though she could see right through the lie. "You know you can talk to me if something’s bothering you."

For a moment, Qi Jianyi hesitated. Her throat tightened as she reached up and touched her mother’s hand before pulling her into a hug.

"Mom..." she murmured, her voice muffled.

"It’s okay, Jianyi. I’m here," Mrs. Qi reassured her softly, her hand rubbing comforting circles on Qi Jianyi’s back.

Qi Jianyi closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry again. She didn’t want to burden this mother with tears she couldn’t explain.

"I’m sorry," she whispered, a quiet apology meant more for herself than for Mrs. Qi.

’I’m sorry your daughter isn’t here. I’m sorry for taking her place.’

It was ironic. The original Qi Jianyi had willingly traded lives with her, yet she was the one left bearing the guilt, feeling like an imposter in this borrowed family.

"What are you apologising for? You’ve done nothing wrong." Mrs. Qi’s voice was soft, her hand moving in slow, comforting circles along Qi Jianyi’s back.

"Jianyi, I may not understand what you’re going through, but I want you to know that I’m here if you ever need me. And so is your dad." Her voice wavered with concern, and Qi Jianyi felt her chest tighten. She bit her lip, suppressing the sob that threatened to escape.

The more love Mrs. Qi showed her, the more unbearable the weight of guilt became. She nodded, breathing carefully to steady herself.

"I will, Mom," she whispered, her face hidden as she kept her tears at bay. She couldn’t let Mrs. Qi see her like this, couldn’t let her witness the turmoil behind the mask.

"Thank you," she added, her voice nearly inaudible.

’Thank you for giving me kindness, even though I know it wasn’t meant for me.’

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