TO TAME THE BRUTAL LYCAN BEAST-Chapter 100: YOU LIKE HER, DON’T YOU?

AZRAEL

I’m more furious than before I decided to confront her.

Reasoning with Elowen has always proved impossible with that incredible impulsivity of hers, and it’s taken everything from me to leave her motionless and incapacitated on the floor.

To not kill her gruesomely for angering me.

If Valoria had died, it would have been different. I’d plunge the world into an age of darkness it’s nowhere close to being ready for.

I can’t even think of the what-ifs. Instead I remind myself that she’s alive and breathing.

She was pale, but there was some color in her cheeks, and she had enough strength to glare at me, so that’s good.

I want to return to her side again, stare at her possibly until this silent throbbing in my chest is gone, but I can’t face her right now.

It’s been a while since anything has made me so furious, so close to exploding into a ball of steam, so filled with a thirst for blood and vengeance.

I desire to rip something apart—flesh from bone—basking in the warmth of thick velvety blood to quell my anger.

I take a detour to the outskirts of the castle, towards the back surrounded by natural thick forests and enough wild animals to hunt down.

I sift through the woods, lunging from tree to tree in search of prey, something big enough to put up a good fight.

My search eventually brings me to a large brown bear moving between the trees, twice the height of an average man with a sufficiently large muscular build.

It’s a terrifying sight to behold and exactly what I’m looking for.

The second I’m close enough, the beast senses me between the trees, shifting its eyes on me.

It knows I’m a threat before I even lunge, and that’s exactly what I want. I want it to be aware of my presence and my bloodlust.

It roars next, rising to its two feet and charges at me with the swipe of its paw, which I catch with one arm and twist.

I channel all my rage and anger: every searing resentment burning inside me, Elowen’s disobedience and defiance, the secret experiment and Alpha Ziba’s disappearance along with vital information about the rebelling packs’ movements.

And now Valoria’s hateful resentment towards me and the dilemma between us.

Until it is no longer a beast but a manifestation of the things I cannot control or bend to my will—the things that I want to burn and destroy.

This beast never stood a chance.

Within seconds of blacking out and giving into my desire for destruction, it’s over.

All that’s left is bloody carnage, bits of ripped guts scattered around me and a shattered skull.

I’m covered in blood from head to toe, breathing hard and staring down at what I’ve done to the poor animal.

It’s still not enough to make me feel better, but it will do for now.

I skin the fur off the carcass with my bare hands and carry it on my back, heading towards the castle again.

Just as I approach the walls, pulling into the clearing surrounding the vast construction, I see Eros standing right in my path with hands folded, waiting patiently.

His dull and tired expression widens into surprise the second I step out of the shade of the trees into the light.

"Oh dear gods." He sighs, smacking his forehead with the center of his palm as I draw closer to him, overwhelmed with another wave of exhaustion.

I drop the bleeding skinned fur on the floor the second I’m close enough.

"How did you know I was here?"

He looks at me again, silently peeved at the mess I’ve made like a germaphobe.

Not like I care even the slightest what he thinks right now. I’ve finally cleared my head enough to think sanely again.

"One of Elowen’s maids raised an alarm after finding the Luna’s disfigured body in her room. I figured you snapped her neck and went to cool off somewhere else. Only typically you’d be taking out your anger on the prisoners down in the dungeon, ripping off heads and limbs. I went there first."

I avert my eyes away, staring at the remnants of the animal I just slaughtered instead.

I could have killed a prisoner or a rebel like usual, but Valoria keeps popping into my head like an alarm.

"Killing werewolves has gotten... boring."

He stares at me blankly, like I’ve said something as impossible as insinuating that pigs fly, but he ignores it.

"Do you have to be brutal when hunting down prey?"

"It’s the only way you can get them to struggle before the life bleeds out of them slowly."

His brows crease with disapproval.

"How humane of you," he replies with sarcasm.

I shrug casually. I am who I am.

I pick up the skin again, dragging it towards the castle, deciding on the main entrance this time.

I’m looking forward to the chaos that might ensue once the maids see me dripping with blood and carrying a carcass on my back.

It might be fun to watch—a minor distraction from my thoughts.

"I heard what happened to Valoria."

I pause from walking again, frozen to the grassy earth by a simple statement that has everything I’ve just spent minutes struggling to bury into the depths of my mind.

With that simple statement he awakens it all over again. Undoing what has been done.

I swerve towards him with a vicious snarl.

"Fuck you, Eros. I’m not having this conversation with you."

"You like her, don’t you?" He cuts me off before I can really give him a warning.

Without a hint of fear in his eyes.

His gaze is much different from Elowen’s, which has always appeared challenging and seeking a reaction.

He just stares blankly without ill intent, making it impossible for me to have a good enough reason to snap his neck too.

"...That’s the actual reason you haven’t killed anyone since you got back from the Wilderose manor—not that you’re bored of it."

"Do you want to get ripped apart by my teeth next?"

"Think about it. It explains everything. Typically you’d kill anything around you—defiant, daring, and working for your mortal enemy—without a second thought and keep everyone at arm’s length. Instead you argue with her, you listen to her, you laugh and tease her. Suddenly you’re hunting down animals to quell your desire to kill because you can’t take Elowen out of the picture yet."

I frown, looking away again and towards the direction I aim to move towards once this conversation is over.

"Are you done overanalyzing everything? This isn’t a fairytale. I’m an ancient being older than everything. I don’t do crushes. I certainly don’t like the little mouse. She’s merely entertainment, an obsession I need to distract myself from this long tedious life. And maybe I’ll put an end to it when I’m satisfied."

"I get the feeling you can’t be. Though I wonder why it’s everything but that to you? Why do you refuse the possibility?"

"Stop talking. I just need to feed, okay?" I snap, feeling the uncomfortable overwhelming frustration spiking up again.

It pricks me in the chest.

My mind and thoughts are a mess like a machine with its wires screwed.

"I just need to feed on fear and chaos and I’ll be sane again," I state out loud to Eros, but he doesn’t buy it.

Part of me doesn’t either, and it makes even less sense to me.

Whatever it is, I know blood and chaos can’t be enough to rid myself of this growing madness.

This overwhelming desire to walk back into her room and convince her to take my idea, to give in to me.

To build a fortress around her so she never gets hurt again.

"How did Elowen take you getting mad?"

We begin walking towards the castle side by side. I’m instantly grateful that he changes the topic of conversation.

Though it’s not in the direction I am hoping for, it’s better than the prior one.

"She’s not pleased. She wants an orgy. I snapped her neck."

"Wow, what a lovely couple you both are." Eros chuckles dryly with a tight-lipped smile.

"You know what she’s like."

He’s had firsthand experience for years working with and under her. She’s insane and spontaneous, slashing anything and anyone, testing the patience of everyone around her for fun.

Myself included.

"Maybe she went after Valoria because she’s jealous."

"Elowen doesn’t get jealous. She only lusts over power, and Valoria has none."

"Maybe because she was once like her before you changed her into a Lycan years ago and you made her your official Luna to carry out missions on your behalf. Now she feels threatened that you’re going to replace her."

Valoria would never replace Elowen, because she’s nothing like her.

If she ever agreed—if I ever get the chance to turn her—she wouldn’t be a weapon for mass destruction, no.

Then what use would she be? What use would I have for a defiant Lycan who doesn’t fight, doesn’t kill... doesn’t serve me?

I have no idea. All I can think about is giving her a fighting chance to survive, long enough for me to figure out what these symptoms are and give it a name.

I need more time to bask in her light.

"From now on, your main assignment is keeping an eye on Valoria and making sure Elowen behaves herself."

Eros smiles with tight lips, left eye twitching.

"Great. I’m being promoted to nanny duty for a grown woman."