Transmigrated as the Cuck.... WTF!!!-Chapter 184. Taking Back Myself

She sucked in a breath. "Cassius?!"

He blinked—once. Twice.

Then suddenly—

CRACK.

A pulse of amethyst lightning burst from his body. The fog convulsed violently, howling, ripping the air around them as though rejecting the moment of clarity.

Cassius staggered back, clutching his head.

"GRAAAHHH!!!"

The scream was monstrous. Half-human, half-something else entirely.

Kaelira backed away, instinct kicking in again. She stared as his body twitched—his veins glowing violet, like lightning trying to escape from under his skin.

His breathing was ragged. His muscles spasmed.

She saw it now—clear as day.

There was a battle happening inside him.

Not of swords or fists.

But of wills.

Two consciousnesses.

Cassius dropped to one knee, his fingers digging into the dirt. The mist swirled violently, forming a dome-like spiral around them both. Kaelira winced, shielding her eyes.

"Cassius!!" she shouted. "Fight it! You’re still in there—I heard you say my name!"

His head jerked up.

His gaze met hers—and it wasn’t just him.

His left eye burned bright with amethyst light. Controlled and furious.

But the right?

Pale white. Glowing faintly with an ancient fog-like hue. Empty.

He opened his mouth, and both voices spoke at once.

"...Run..."

"...Stay..."

Kaelira’s breath hitched.

The very ground beneath her began to crack. Roots withered. The fog turned into a storm. And above them, the sky itself started to ripple.

Reality was bending. Distorting. Like a canvas being stretched too far.

A sharp pulse burst from his chest again—this time Kaelira felt herself flung back several meters, skidding across the soil.

"Cassius!" she cried again.

He looked down at his hands, expression torn, mouth trembling—until...

He gritted his teeth.

And with a surge of power, he stabbed his own palm with a spear of mist.

The fog recoiled. The light flickered. His body hunched over, as if burning from the inside.

Kaelira crawled forward, ignoring her body’s warnings. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Cassius looked at her again—this time calmer. His breathing slowed.

His voice returned to his own.

"...Anchoring myself."

Kaelira blinked.

"What...?"

He slowly stood, body trembling, but his form stabilizing. The mist thinned around him—still present, but less aggressive. His skin no longer glowed. The flickering in his eyes dimmed.

"I... was slipping," he murmured. "I don’t know into what... but it’s not me."

Kaelira was silent, her eyes wide. There were too many questions. Too many things she didn’t understand. But something in her trusted him.

Cassius looked down at her—his smirk returning, this time genuine, if not slightly pained.

"...So, you still think I’m interesting?"

Kaelira chuckled, exhaling shakily. "You’re the most messed-up bastard I’ve ever met. That qualifies as interesting in my book."

Cassius smiled faintly, the fog around his body thinning. Then, without a word, he extended his hand toward Kaelira.

She didn’t hesitate.

Grasping his hand tightly, she stood up, her legs still trembling from the aftermath of his presence. As she rose, she dusted off the dirt clinging to her clothes, trying to hide her lingering unease behind her usual bravado.

Cassius glanced around their surroundings with a look of mild curiosity. The dense fog that once clung to the earth and stifled the atmosphere began to dissipate—no wind, no movement, just... gone. As if reality itself bent to his silent command.

Then, with the same ease, he turned his full attention to her.

"So," he began casually, "why were you here, exactly? Shouldn’t you be back at the camp with the others?"

Kaelira inhaled deeply, still a bit shaky. "Yeah, well... there’s a full-blown, frontal-assault-grade shitshow going on over there. The horde’s giving everyone a hell of a time. And Mia—she wanted to come look for you. You know how she is."

Cassius raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking in amusement. "Adorable, but unnecessary. And let me guess," he tapped his temple lightly, "you think I have any idea what the hell happened to me?"

She smirked. "You’re not that predictable, but yeah, kinda. Do you?"

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Not even a clue. I mean—I felt it. Something was off. But I guess I shoved it under the rug and told myself it’d sort itself out. Typical me, right? Now I can’t ignore it. I need to dig deeper. Figure out what’s wrong before it gets worse."

Kaelira tilted her head slightly. "And how exactly do you plan on doing that? You got some master plan? A therapist, perhaps?"

Cassius clicked his tongue and glanced skyward. "I plan to ravage the Academy’s library. Find the oldest damn books they’ve got. Maybe, hidden in some dusty corner of history, there’s a record of this... whatever the hell this is."

Kaelira nodded immediately. "Sounds solid. Let’s do it."

He blinked, looking mildly confused. "Wait. ’Let’s’? As in—’you and me’?"

She raised an eyebrow at him like he was the slow one. "Yes, dumbass. You and me. What, surprised?"

Cassius leaned in slightly, amused. "I mean... shouldn’t you be off venturing in the wilds or something? Finding your life’s purpose? Meditating under a waterfall?"

Kaelira laughed, the sound genuine and sharp. "I probably should, but your dumb existential spiral actually interests me. Deeply. I’m not kidding. I’m the kind of girl who lives for the thrill. And lately? Everything’s been dull, boring, lifeless. But you—" she poked his chest, "you made things interesting again."

Cassius gave her a sideways smirk. "So... my pain made you feel alive. Sadistic much? You are not the only one though?"

She gasped theatrically. "I knew you’d get it. Damn, I lost my front-row seat to your self-destruction. What a tragedy."

He snorted, shaking his head. "You’re crazy."

"Maybe," she grinned. "But here’s the truth—I latch onto things that excite me. And your mystery? It’s got me hooked. I wanna tag along. Figure this out. Not for answers—just for the journey. You know that saying? ’The path is more important than the goal.’ That’s me. That’s how I live."

Cassius’s eyes softened, just slightly. "That’s... kind of beautiful, actually. No tethers. No anchors. You’re free."

Kaelira chuckled. "Freedom’s a burden too, you know. But enough about me." Her gaze narrowed. "What about you, Cassius? You don’t seem like someone who gets weighed down by guilt or remorse. But I can see it—something’s eating at you."

Cassius paused. Just for a second.

Then he laughed, but it wasn’t sharp or smug like before. It was hollow. "Yeah... You’re not wrong. I don’t even know what I feel guilty about. It’s not a single thing. It’s like... shadows crawling in from places I don’t remember. Emotions that don’t feel like mine. Regrets I can’t trace back to anything. I don’t even know who I’m mourning."

Then, without warning, he stumbled back a step. His shoulders dropped. One hand covered his face, and his breathing turned uneven, shaky.

It wasn’t pain.

It was a collapse.

Mental, emotional—something unraveling within.

Kaelira stepped forward without thinking. She grabbed his arm, pulling him into her embrace. Her movements were swift, her tone uncharacteristically soft.

"Hey... Hey! What’s going on? Don’t do this to yourself," she whispered, clutching him tighter. "If there’s something eating you, talk. You don’t have to fix it. Just... let it out. I might not have all the answers, but I can listen."

Cassius’s breathing slowed as her words sank in. Her warmth. Her voice. Her presence.

His mind was a mess. Tangled, flickering thoughts, foreign and scattered. Visions he didn’t remember living. Feelings he didn’t think belonged to him. Names. Screams. Smoke. Fog. Endless fog.

And specifically a figure... a humanoid figure.

Finally, he spoke, voice barely above a whisper. "Lately... it’s like I’m watching myself from outside. Acting in ways that don’t belong to me. Thinking in voices that aren’t mine. You were right—I don’t need tethers. I don’t need someone to hold my hand and keep me grounded. But I do need... to be me again. I need to remember who that even is."

Kaelira rested her chin against his head. "Then let’s figure it out together."

Cassius pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. They held each other’s gaze.

"...Okay," he whispered.

Kaelira patted his shoulder. "Great! Then first let’s go back and meet back with everyone."

Cassius didn’t say anything, just gave a subtle nod. Then started following Kaelira who was already running back.

His thoughts were in a mess, but a mess he knew something about now. The world he considered a normal game world was beginning to change into something utterly horrifying.

The life he considered a second chance, a mere luck was beginning to seem like something orchestrated. Something formed after years of meticulous planning.

The body he once considered his, was beginning to seem foreign. His powers were already ruining him.

But now, his body was also doing the same... it was always doing the same.

As he followed Kaelira back to the camp. His lips curled into a smirk. ’My summoning wasn’t something random, the series of events which happened weren’t random. I have definitely lost much of my memories... but above everything I’m losing my own self. Feeling emotions, which aren’t mine. Acting in ways I wouldn’t dream of doing.’

He chuckled, his eyes darted at the sky upward. ’This world itself is interesting... I don’t know why I was feeling so lifeless. Ahh... I do know why... right? Cassius~’