Unintended Immortality-Chapter 307: Hearing His Own Story in the Teahouse

In a teahouse next to the inn…

Thanks to the upcoming New Year, most farmers had no work in the fields and could afford a rare break. This was one of the few times of the year when people were willing to spend a little extra, and the teahouse's business was thriving.

Some patrons chatted and laughed, others listened attentively to the storyteller. Some people came here to play board games because the gambling dens were too crowded to accommodate them.

When Song You and Lady Calico arrived, only one table remained vacant. They took their seats and ordered a pot of ordinary tea to enjoy as they slowly listened to the storyteller. Meanwhile, the swallow perched itself on a beam overhead, wary of the crowded room and hesitant to descend.

“Continuing from last time—

“The northern frontier army’s demons summoned their divine immortal to descend to the mortal realm, unleashing torrential floods! Aye, the flood was vast as an ocean, drowning the entire grasslands! As mentioned earlier, the green ox under that immortal master not only possessed the ability to transform into a flood dragon, breathing fire and spouting water, but it could also roam the seas with ease. However, in the distant Yuanzhi City behind them, there were hundreds of thousands of soldiers in the army—and these armored warriors all feared floods!”

The Daoist couldn’t help but lower his head when he heard this.

The calico cat sitting on the bench beside him tilted her head upward, meeting his gaze with a puzzled expression.

The Daoist said nothing, simply taking his small, exquisite blue-and-white porcelain bowl half-filled with tea. He then lowered it to her mouth.

The calico cat furrowed her brow and looked at him quizzically again. But since it was already being offered…

She decided to take a small sip. Lowering her head, her tiny pink tongue darted out quickly, barely touching the tea before pulling back. She immediately squinted and frowned.

The Daoist smiled in satisfaction.

“Then came the flood crashing in!

“Whoosh!Splash!Boom!

“In that critical moment, the immortal master drew a radiant green sword from his back. With a mighty clang, he swung it forward!

“That swing! It was as if heaven and earth reversed, a display of unmatched magical power! The sword’s energy soared to the heavens and split the earth, likely startling both celestial gods above and ghost kings below! The ocean-like flood parted in two in its center, with fish flopping on the ground, flipping and flailing! Wait, where would the fish have come from?!”

The Daoist couldn't help but lift his own tea bowl and take a small sip.

It had been two years since he left Changjing. The tea-brewing method popular in the capital and surrounding Yangzhou region had yet to make its way here. Instead, they still relied on traditional methods of steeping and boiling tea, often adding red dates, dried plums, and other assorted ingredients.

The result was a concoction that carried the sweetness of dates and the tartness of dried fruit. It was mildly sweet, faintly sour, and heavily muddled with other flavors. The tea itself wasn’t particularly good either—bitter and astringent, with a bad texture.

Still, the locals seemed to enjoy it. Perhaps because it matched the taste of their lives.

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The calico cat grew even more perplexed. Standing on the bench, she extended a small paw to poke at the bamboo staff leaning at an angle beside the Daoist, as if trying to discern its connection to the green blade described in the tale.

Then she lifted her head again, looking at the Daoist. Her gaze seemed to carry a simple inquiry but also carried a subtle sense of mockery.

The Daoist had no choice but to offer her another sip of tea.

“And then, the divine immortal pointed a finger!

“And he said—

“'Waters, recede!'

“Whoosh!

“And guess what?

“The overwhelming floodwaters actually started retreating!”

“Ha!”

The storyteller grew even more excited, clearly energized by the coins scattered across the stage. With a resounding clap of his wooden block, he grinned broadly with rosy cheeks and exclaimed, “It seems even water obeys human commands!”

The entire tea house erupted into cheers, thoroughly engrossed in the tale.

Even those who treated the tea house like a gambling den, busy with their own activities, kept their ears tuned to the story. When the tale hit an exciting note, some gamblers who had won money naturally acted generously and casually tossed a few copper coins onto the stage.

But it wasn't just the paying customers.

Outside the tea house, a crowd had gathered, pressing against the door. They were people who either couldn’t afford the seating fee and cost of the tea or simply refused to pay it. On a regular day, the tea house owner might have shooed them away or insisted they pay to enter. But during these busy days, with every seat inside occupied and plenty of paying patrons, the festive atmosphere of the new year made it difficult to turn people away.

So, they were left to linger at the doorway, enjoying the tale from the sidelines.

While sipping his tea, Song You turned his gaze outside. Among the crowd outside was the innkeeper.

At the very front stood a young boy, around twelve or thirteen years old, with a face smeared in dirt and dressed in tattered clothes. His expression showed exhaustion, but his eyes shone brightly as he stared unblinkingly at the storyteller.

Countless others wore the same expression of awe.

It was unclear whether their admiration was for the Daoist in the tale, with his godlike magical powers, or for the desire to witness firsthand what had once been the stuff of ancient myths but had now unfolded as a real event at the western border of Yanzhou this very year.

“The sight of it scared those demons out of their wits! A few rabbit and rat demons were so frightened they went 'waaa!' and spat up greenish water…”

“What’s that?”

“That’s their bile!”

“The other demons, seeing this, turned tail and fled!

“And let me tell you, they used every trick in the book! Some turned into birds and flew away, some transformed into fish and swam off, others morphed into black gusts of wind and flew off, while some simply reverted to their original forms and bolted as fast as their legs could carry them. You name it, they tried it!

“But then, the immortal master turned his head and said—

“'Please, capture them and bring them all back to me!'

“He even used the word 'please,' but he was commanding his tiger cub! As I said before, that immortal master wasn’t traveling alone. Besides his celestial green ox, he had a striped tiger cub at his side!”

At this point, the calico cat's eyes grew even wider, her mouth opening slightly to reveal two tiny canine teeth. She looked utterly stunned. Once again, she turned her gaze to the Daoist beside her.

The Daoist simply smiled at her.

“Now, that tiger cub was quite extraordinary! I’ve told you about it before, so I won’t go into too much detail today. But let me tell you, this tiger cub was no slouch!

“When it saw the fleeing demons, it let out a mighty roar, and its body expanded with the wind, swelling to several zhang tall. With another deafening growl, it transformed into a whirlwind of stripes, hurtling toward the fleeing demons.

“And wouldn’t you know it—it caught them one by one, swallowing them whole!”

The calico cat, still in awe, now showed a touch of longing. The Daoist continued sipping his tea, listening attentively.

Admittedly, a touch of vanity was involved, and he did enjoy hearing others’ praise. But it wasn’t just that. He wasn’t just listening to the embellishments and flattery in the stories; he was also reflecting on the underlying truths.

He could hear the people’s yearning for tales of immortals, especially for true stories about immortals.

It was also clear that people preferred to imagine an immortal riding an ox rather than a horse, accompanied by a tiger rather than a cat. As for the immortal’s abilities and the demons’ terror, the more exaggerated, the more satisfying it was to hear.

Thus, the stories were exaggerated layer upon layer. And of course, the number of demons slain—it was always better when the tally was higher.

As time ticked by, evening drew closer.

“Indeed, with the azure blade, he splits rivers and seas in one strike; with a smile, he vanquishes demons! After this battle, the demonic forces within the northern frontier army could no longer stir up major trouble. General Chen then led his troops out of the city, engaging the northern frontier forces in a decisive showdown!

“This afternoon’s story ends here. Thank you to all our patrons, both new and regular, for your support. And thank you for your generous tips! If you feel this humble storyteller has done well, come again this evening. I’ll continue with the tale of the immortal master marching out with the army and battling even more demons.

“To date, the immortal master has slain a total of 3,000 demons in Yanzhou. Up to this point of the story, he had dealt with 2,200. There are still 800 left, all in the stories yet to come!”

The crowd erupted in cheers, enthusiastically tossing copper coins onto the stage.

Though this small northern town was far from the prosperity of the southern regions and nothing like the bustling capitals of Yidu or Changjing, its prices were low. But with the New Year approaching, the people had extra pocket money and were feeling generous. Plus, the story was undeniably captivating, creating a lively atmosphere.

The Daoist, meanwhile, called over the shopkeeper to settle the bill.

“A pot of tea is fifteen wen, the seating fee for listening to the story is eight wen, and two persimmons cost five wen—so that’s twenty-eight wen in total,” the shopkeeper said.

Not exactly cheap—it seemed to include a bit of the inflated New Year’s pricing.

But the Daoist wasn’t particularly concerned. His coin purse was fairly full, mostly thanks to the earnings of the industrious calico cat during their time on the grasslands in the spring and summer. Since arriving in the army and later in Yuezhou, there had been few expenses, so he had saved up a good amount until now.

He took out the money and carefully counted out the coins, while the calico cat craned her neck to watch intently. The Daoist counted out exactly thirty wen.

“The extra two copper coins,” he said, “please hand them over to the storyteller on stage. Consider it a tip to cover the cost of a cup of tea to soothe his throat.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!” the shopkeeper responded gratefully.

“Let’s go,” the Daoist said to the calico cat. With his bamboo staff in hand, he rose from his seat.

The calico cat glanced back at the storyteller, who was bent over collecting the money from the stage. Though her heart was full of curiosity, she hopped off the bench and followed the Daoist. The swallow also quickly flew out.

As it happened, the innkeeper had lingered nearby and hadn’t yet left.

The Daoist approached him and said, “Perfect timing. I have a question for you.”

“Sir, what would you like to ask?” the innkeeper replied.

“Where in this county can I find a shop that sells spices?” the Daoist inquired.

“Spices?”

“Yes.”

“If you're talking about the two or three kinds commonly used in cooking, sometimes people sell them on the streets in the mornings. Usually, you can find them in the pharmacy as well. But if you're looking for more variety…” The innkeeper paused to think. “Our place is small, so we don't really have much in the way of spices for sale. If your requirements are a bit higher, well, hehe…”

The Daoist already had an inkling of what the innkeeper was about to say.

However, at that moment, a young boy nearby spoke, “I know a place that sells spices—plenty of them!”

The Daoist turned to look. It was the same twelve- or thirteen-year-old boy he had seen earlier.

Before the Daoist could respond, the innkeeper snapped at the boy with irritation, “What are you doing here, you little rascal? Don’t start spinning lies, and don’t think you can fool people like him! Plus, this isn’t the time for you to spout nonsense!”

The innkeeper turned back to Song You with a smile and said, “Sir, don’t pay him any mind. He’s just a kid—what could he possibly know? He’s probably trying to scam you out of some tips. Happens all the time around the New Year—people will say anything for a few coins.”

Song You returned the innkeeper’s smile.

The young boy, however, kept his gaze fixed on Song You, his eyes bright. “I never lie. I usually help people find their way at the north gate. I have a reputation for being trustworthy. You can pay me only after I’ve brought you to the place.”

“Ha!” The innkeeper laughed, baring his teeth. “I’ve lived in this town for years, and the only place I know of for spices is the pharmacy. Where are you getting your information from? If you’re so confident, then say where it is! If you can’t, don’t blame me for spoiling your holiday!”

“I told you, I help guide people at the north gate in my free time. Recently, with the New Year coming up, a group of spice sellers set up a stall in the east gate market during the day. It’s late now, so they’ve probably already packed up and gone home,” the boy said, standing barely chest-high to Song You but speaking with an air of maturity. “But I know where they’re staying. For just five wen, I’ll take you there.”

“Hmm…” The innkeeper, hearing this, retracted his gaze and looked at Song You.

Seemingly convinced it wasn’t a scam and noticing that Song You seemed interested in going, the person cautioned him, “If you’re going, sir, remember this—no matter what this boy says, don’t pay him until you’ve reached the place. And if he takes you to some secluded spot, be sure to stay alert!”

He then turned to the boy and warned him not to pull any tricks.

Song You thanked the innkeeper, then turned to the boy with a warm smile. “Please, lead the way.”

“Don’t worry! Everything I said is true,” the boy replied, speaking with the poise of someone far older. “I value my reputation and would never harm anyone!”

“I believe you.”

“Then follow me!”

With that, the young boy had already started walking ahead.