Unintended Immortality-Chapter 339: The Tale of Lady Calico’s Exorcism

“This here is Daoist Master Muyunzi, a high master we villagers have pooled funds to invite from Qingxiao Temple in Donghe County. Daoist Master Muyunzi, we didn’t know the government had also invited an expert today…”

“Daoist Master Muyunzi?” Lady Calico immediately turned her head to look.

What she saw was a lean, bearded old Daoist wearing a pristine eight trigrams robe. Beside him stood two young disciples, also dressed in Daoist robes, carrying large packs. From one of the bundles, a finely crafted peachwood sword protruded at an angle. Muyunzi himself was sizing her up as well.

Lady Calico grew wary.

It couldn’t be helped. Ever since she began traveling with the Daoist, most of the Daoists they encountered were remarkable in some way. Combined with the exceptional abilities of her own Daoist, it was hard not to develop the impression that all Daoists were formidable figures.

“I am Muyunzi,” the old Daoist said. “I practice at Qingxiao Temple in Donghe County. May I ask, young fellow Daoist, where you studied and what skills you possess?”

“I am Lady Calico.” Lady Calico’s face remained blank, even as a flurry of thoughts raced through her mind. She fixed her bright eyes on him and replied firmly, “I learned my craft under a Daoist priest from Yin-Yang Mountain in Lingquan County, Yizhou.”

“Well, you’re truly a young Daoist…”

“I’m the Daoist priest’s attendant.”

“I see…”

Muyunzi carefully studied the little girl, not daring to underestimate her.

While it was true that scams were rampant in Changjing, with countless swindlers employing ever-changing tricks—sometimes even fooling high-ranking officials—who had ever heard of a scammer as young as this girl using exorcism as a means to swindle money?

Moreover, the girl was exceptionally beautiful, her fair skin flawless, cared for to a degree that even royal children might not enjoy. On closer inspection, her demeanor and mannerisms were unlike those of an ordinary child. And since she was invited formally by the county government, with claims that her master had previously dealt with the courtesan ghost on Peach Blossom Peaks, every detail pointed to her being anything but ordinary.

In the Daoist world, “fellow Daoist” was a general term Muyunzi used for Daoist peers. He didn’t expect that she truly hailed from a Daoist lineage.

She must come from a significant lineage, he thought.

He was curious, though—what kind of master would let such a young disciple venture out to gain experience?

While Muyunzi didn’t dare to look down on her, neither did he take her too seriously. The cultivation of Daoist skills required time and effort. This little Daoist was clearly too young; while she likely possessed some abilities and might even excel in a specific area, to the point of being entrusted with an exorcism mission, it was hard to imagine she could accomplish much beyond that.

He glanced around, as though trying to spot her master lurking nearby.

“I have heard of Qingcheng Mountain in Yizhou,” Muyunzi remarked, “but I must admit my ignorance—I didn’t know there was a Yin-Yang Mountain as well…”

“We’ve been to Qingcheng Mountain too,” the girl replied.

“Oh?”

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“It’s not that impressive!”

“…”

Muyunzi shook his head with a wry smile, neither fully believing nor dismissing her words. Why take a child’s comment too seriously? Instead, he asked again, “May I ask, little fellow Daoist, your master’s Daoist title?”

“Master?” Lady Calico paused for a moment, momentarily puzzled. But being clever, she quickly realized he was referring to the Daoist priest. After a moment of thought, she replied, “The Daoist priest doesn’t have a title.”

“He hasn’t chosen one yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Is your esteemed master nearby?”

“He’s at home, guarding the house.”

“Ah…” Muyunzi couldn’t help but show a hint of disappointment.

“Ah…” The little girl stared at him.

Muyunzi blinked, realizing that the young Daoist was mimicking his response. He couldn’t help but chuckle before bowing again and asking, “May I ask what abilities you possess and how you plan to exorcize the evil creature?”

“...!” The girl’s expression grew even more guarded.

“Huh? Why are you looking at me like that, little fellow Daoist?” Muyunzi asked.

“Are you planning to take my money?” she replied bluntly.

“Eh? Oh! You misunderstand. You were invited by the government and will receive the bounty from the county office. I, on the other hand, was hired by the villagers and will be paid by them. The two do not conflict.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I won’t take your money.”

“…” Lady Calico turned her head toward the village elder.

“That’s correct,” the elder confirmed with a nod.

Lady Calico finally explained, “I will wait here until night. When the zombie comes out, I will get rid of it and then collect the money.”

“…”

That wasn’t much of a plan.

Mu Yunzi was starting to get a bit annoyed, but fortunately, most cultivators are patient by nature. Facing such a young girl and in a good mood, he held his temper and said calmly, “I’ve heard that the evil creature often roams across the surrounding ten li or so. While it’s true that Peach Blossom Village is its most frequent haunt, there’s no guarantee it will come tonight. If we wait idly, who knows how long it will take?”

“I’m very patient,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“True, but exorcism is best dealt with swiftly.”

“You’re right,” the girl responded without much hesitation, nodding in agreement. Clearly, she had already considered this. “Zombies like eating meat and drinking blood. We can lure it over.”

“Exactly! My plan is to slaughter a chicken and use the scent of its blood to attract it. Then I’ll set up a ritual altar, invoke the gods, and eliminate it!”

“A single chicken?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Lady Calico stared at him, standing still as she thought for a moment. Then she quickly said, “Give the chicken to me. I have another way to lure it over.”

“And what method is that?”

“I will catch some mice.”

“…”

Muyunzi couldn’t help but size her up carefully, his brows furrowing slightly as if he had realized something.

Recalling that the little girl had previously mentioned learning under a Daoist master and noting the two constables in uniform standing behind her, Muyunzi decided not to comment further. Instead, he continued the discussion, “I’ve heard that the evil creatures in Peach Blossom Village have eluded numerous jianghu fighters and skilled folk, so it likely won’t be easy to deal with. We should strategize on how to work together to ensure success and prevent it from escaping.”

“Okay!”

He said, “The Qingxiao Temple venerates the Thunder Division’s legitimate gods, primarily Duke of Thunder Zhou, the Thunder Division’s chief officer. While I have not mastered the Five Thunder Technique, I can invoke the gods.

“Duke of Thunder Zhou is a fair and diligent deity. If I inform him of the chaos caused by this spirit, he will undoubtedly respond. However, setting up an altar and conducting the ritual takes time, as does receiving the god’s response. I’m unsure how powerful this spirit is, but if you, little fellow Daoist, could hold it off during that time, it would be ideal.”

Lady Calico asked, “Duke of Thunder Zhou?”

“Yes.”

“I know Duke of Thunder Zhou.”

“Does your temple also venerate Duke of Thunder Zhou?”

“I don’t know…”

“Then about what I mentioned earlier…”

“What you mentioned earlier…”

“That evil creature is very strong, and I’m not entirely confident. But I couldn’t stand by and let the villagers continue to suffer, so I took the risk to exorcize it. That’s why I proposed we join forces.”

“Understood.” Lady Calico raised her head to meet his gaze. “You can’t beat it.”

“Indeed, I’m not entirely certain of success.”

“You’re really not planning to take our money?”

“I’m not.”

“Then hide!”

“… You seem very confident, little fellow Daoist?”

“I’m not afraid of zombies.”

In the natural order of things, everything had its counter. Even a rat demon with centuries of cultivation would fear Lady Calico, and ghosts and zombies were especially terrified of fire—True Fire even more so. Since Lady Calico specialized in fire techniques, she was naturally confident.

Even if the fire couldn’t kill it, it could scare it away.

And if that didn’t work, a zombie, being a clumsy and slow creature transformed from a human, could never catch a cat—let alone Lady Calico.

“…” Muyunzi studied her carefully. After some thought, he nodded. “Very well, then. I’ll set up the altar inside the house and first observe the situation while supporting you from the side. If necessary, I’ll proceed with the ritual and summon the god.”

“If the zombie isn’t very strong, you shouldn’t call the Duke of Thunder.”

“Do you dislike the Duke of Thunder?” Muyunzi squinted slightly, watching her closely.

“I don’t dislike Duke of Thunder Zhou.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes!”

“Then we’ll do as you say…”

The elder Daoist and the little girl continued their discussion.

Muyunzi’s tone remained respectful, and the little girl’s responses were articulate and confident. To the villagers and constables watching, the sight was somewhat bizarre, but given the topic of cultivation, it also felt strangely mystical.

Meanwhile, the swallow perched on the roof preened its feathers, diligently trying to memorize their conversation.

Before long, the elder called over a villager who had survived an encounter with the spirit and could describe its appearance.

The event, however, had occurred more than two years ago.

At the time, the man had been out at night catching snakes under the moonlight. On his way back, he encountered the creature, which had just feasted on a sheep in the village.

He described it as vaguely human-like, wearing tattered clothes unrecognizable as belonging to any specific era. Its face was unrecognizable as human, with a greenish complexion, fanged teeth, a mouth smeared with fresh blood, and white fur growing on its head. Its body was in a state of partial decay.

The moment it saw him, it roared and began chasing him. The man had nearly died of fright.

Fortunately, he was a strong and able-bodied man. Once he recovered from the initial shock, he turned and ran as fast as he could, with the creature pursuing him relentlessly.

It was a truly terrifying scene in the dead of night.

Finally, in a stroke of genius, the man climbed a tree. The creature, as it turned out, couldn’t climb trees—it wasn’t as developed or clever then as it seemed to be now. It circled the base of the tree in frustration, growling low and menacingly, saliva dripping from its mouth. No matter how agitated it became, it couldn’t reach the man in the tree.

The man, trembling with fear, clung tightly to the trunk and endured the most harrowing night of his life perched in its branches.

By the fifth watch, as the rooster crowed, the creature left.

When the villagers found the man later, he was still clutching the tree, terrified to the point of incoherence. Around the base of the tree, the ground had been trampled into a perfect circle by the creature, and there was a ring of its drool, foul-smelling and nauseating.

It was like something out of the ghost stories elders often told.

After hearing the account, Lady Calico tried to imitate her Daoist master by quickly analyzing what kind of evil spirit this was, what it feared most, and how to eliminate it in the simplest and most efficient way. However, as soon as she began, she realized her knowledge wasn’t sufficient for such deductions and quietly abandoned the attempt.

Thankfully, no one noticed.

The two then began their preparations.

Muyunzi chose a village house that was easy to observe and escape from. Inside, he set up an altar complete with an incense burner, offerings, candles, talisman papers, and everything needed for invoking a god.

Lady Calico circled the village, seemingly searching for something. She didn’t ask for help or explain what she was doing, maintaining an attitude of complete self-reliance. Finally, she found a pile of large rocks and began moving them into the village. When the constables and villagers saw her, they came over to help.

It was astonishing—

The massive green stones, thicker than a person’s waist, were impossible for the village’s strongest men to lift. Even the young constables who trained in martial arts struggled with them. Yet the little girl carried them with relative ease.

Seeing this, the villagers felt somewhat reassured.

Still, no one understood why Lady Calico was bringing so many large stones. Could she possibly intend to crush the creature with them?

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, the villagers, wary of staying longer, followed Muyunzi’s instructions to deliver all the necessary items and then quickly left. Only the two constables remained behind.

Lady Calico, keeping her word, caught a few rats. She killed them on the spot, tied their tails together, and hung them from a tree at the village entrance, letting the wind carry their bloody scent.

The evening grew darker.

Muyunzi and his two nervous, zombie-fearing disciples retreated into the house, locking the door and peering outside through small windows. The two constables, after consulting with Lady Calico, hid in the shadows with their blades, leaving the little girl alone in the empty village square.

There she sat, unmoving, doing nothing, lost in thought.

As night fell, Lady Calico climbed up onto a rooftop.

The constables and Muyunzi saw her ascent. She moved effortlessly, as though it took no effort at all. Her movements didn’t resemble a human’s but rather those of an animal skilled at climbing trees.

Once on the roof, she sat down, reached into the pouch she carried, and pulled out a small flag.

“Whoosh!”

With a flick of the flag, she called out, “Wolves, come!”

A thick black smoke billowed out, so dense it was visible even under the moonlight. As the smoke hit the ground, it transformed into a pack of large wolves.

These wolves were robust and strong, their sleek bodies and well-kept fur gleaming in the dim light. They stood in perfect formation, numbering at least a dozen—a considerable pack, even by wilderness standards.

The sight left Muyunzi, his disciples, and the two constables wide-eyed in astonishment.

But then, another sound of rushing wind filled the air.

“Whoosh…”

It was the sound of the flag flapping as it was waved again.

Another wave of black smoke spread out, hitting the ground and forming yet another pack of wolves.

Before the group could fully process what they were seeing, a series of similar sounds followed. More waves of black smoke were cast into the air, and each time they landed, they transformed into wolves.

Now there were easily over a hundred wolves, packed so densely that they nearly overflowed the village paths.

Even if these wolves were no more ferocious than ordinary ones, the sheer size of the pack made them a force no one would dare to face lightly.

On the rooftop, the little girl waved the flag once more, but this time, no black smoke appeared. She looked down at the flag in her hand, her expression suggesting that it had run out of wolves.

Only then did the five observers breathe a slight sigh of relief.

But just as they began to relax, the little girl gave the flag another vigorous flick.

“Whoosh!”

Another dense wave of black smoke billowed forth.

The smoke lingered in the air, refusing to dissipate, before slowly descending and transforming into a massive white-browed, hanging-eyed tiger, nearly the size of a calf. Compared to the robust wolves that had appeared earlier, this mighty tiger made them look like a pack of tiny pups.

The five observers were utterly stunned.

Then, as if it were the most casual thing in the world, the little girl flicked the flag again. Without a sound, the pack of wolves scattered, disappearing swiftly into the village. The tiger glanced up at the girl with a calm, almost indifferent gaze before lazily sauntering away.

Back on Mount Zhubei, much of the tiger’s spiritual resonance was collected into the banner. There were quite a few of them, varying in strength. The strongest among them were the ones that had already become demons.

This particular tiger wasn’t the strongest, but it wasn’t the weakest either. Its temperament during its lifetime had been relatively mild and gentle, which made it the first to be manifested through Lady Calico’s efforts after months of hard work. In fact, it was the only one she could manifest. Lady Calico was very fond of it and even gave it a name: Tigey.

The extraordinary display of the Mount Zhubei tigers left those hiding nearby thoroughly unnerved.

After completing her summoning, Lady Calico scanned the surroundings, then casually leaned back, lying flat on the thatched rooftop. She remained still, seemingly unbothered by the night’s tension.

The sky grew completely dark, the moonlight bright and clear.

At an unknown hour, a lone wolf’s howl suddenly echoed in the distance.

“Awoooo!”

The howl was long, resonant, and carried across the night sky.

The trio of Daoists hiding in the house and the constables concealed in the haystack immediately tensed. At the same time, the little girl on the rooftop snapped upright, her head swiveling toward the source of the sound. Her gaze, as sharp as if she could pierce through the darkness and see far into the distance, remained fixed in that direction for a long while.

Beneath the moonlight, something wicked entered the village.